WOW L13 Choosing Your Words

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Speaking the Truth in Love

This is a verse we have heard over and over…but might be interpreting it perfectly correct.
Illustration of my own misunderstanding : KL and her speaking the truth.
Ephesians 4:14–15 ESV
so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
Don’t we often interpret this as “two people need to speak lovingly honest with one another?”
look at the context of this command...
He isn’t focusing on the danger of dishonesty here.
The warning here is against falsehood.
He wants the doctrines of scripture to shape the way we think about everyday events.

ASK THESE QUESTIONS REGULARLY

1. What truths of Scripture (doctrines, themes, commands, principles, perspectives, metaphors, etc.) interpret and explain this situation?

add a mask to the previous slide
Do people operate from the basis of facts?
NO…they operate on their interpretation of those facts.
I tried to come up with a better illustration
But Consider the interpretation of the facts in Minneapolis.
The interpretation of the facts was that ....... racism.....not police.
BTW .... I will speak less on the issue of police issues and more on the issues of racism even though that wasn’t the facts, but for me it leads more to the gospel.
So to create the right actions…we need to interpret things biblically because that will create biblical actions.

2. What does God want to show this person about himself, his love and grace, his will, and his truth?

We tend to be blind to God’s working - consider the servant of Elisha
2 Kings 6:16–17 ESV
He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
Do we ever think “God isn’t working in my life....why doesn’t he help me?”
We need to see the Lord and their situation with biblical eyes.

3. What does God want to show this person about himself?

God uses the situation we face to make us see things in our own hearts. We should often think about .....
Proverbs 27:6 ESV
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Circumstances of life knock down the walls of self-deception.
They cause us to think about who we really are - when we sin - it shows our desires.
When we succeed we should see God’s enabling.

4. What does God want to show this person about others?

Sometimes we need to see the mistakes others are making as a warning to our own lives.
Sometimes we need to see the awfulness of sin evident in others.

5. What is God encouraging this person to do?

Life keeps people on God’s agenda.
Circumstances push us in ways and move us in ways that are accomplishing God’s perfect will (which we cannot know).

6. How can I best help this person to understand these things?

Teaching is the world’s easiest profession outside of students and parents.
I would have few issues in business without customers and employees.
Realize that people have issues.
Colossians 3:12–14 ESV
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Choosing Words of Love

The hard part is to keep focused on being committed to keeping truth untainted by the passions and desires of the sinful nature.
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
It really isn’t just here we find super practical steps for each other.
Jesus said before he died - for the disciples to love each other as he had loved them.
Paul calls us to .....
Ephesians 4:2 ESV
with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Listen to our own talk and consider how much is patient, and kind and loving....

Choosing Words of Grace

Ephesians 4:29–30 ESV
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

1. Be unshakably committed to wholesome talk.

Keep in mind that unwholesome talk can be me-centered talk.
Wholesome talk is other - oriented
It has the needs of others in focus. Words are spoken for the benefit of those who listen.
It flows from a heart that loves God above all else. We will never talk for the benefit of others if our heart is filled with our own desires.

2. Consider the person to whom you are talking (“. . . only what is helpful for building others up”).

Think about who you are talking…what is their interests and desires. How do they know the scripture? what are they facing in life right now?

3. Consider the problem you are being called to address.

Don’t always speak around what you perceive as people’s problems, but do consider when you are talking what is the need of the moment. Is there a lack of biblical knowledge? Is there a need for thanksgiving, praise, and worship?
Parents face a struggle when there is an issue because their agenda become punitive rather than ministry.

4. Consider the process

The goal is to minister grace to the hearers.
Colossians 4:6 ESV
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
So this isn’t just a knowledge issue here - we do need that and it right to talk about this verse this way, but it is the delivery as well.
A good parent example here again is:
If a parent begins lecturing, children do WHAT in their minds......
.... defend or excuse things in their mind.
.... anxiously wait for the conversation to be over.

5. Don’t let your speech hinder the Holy Spirit’s work

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.
We are not our own.
1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
Final thoughts
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