Face to Face with Those Who Hurt You - Genesis 42-43

©Copyright October 20, 2019 Rev. Bruce Goettsche

There comes a point when you are reading a great novel when the story turns from interesting to gripping. At the beginning of the story you get details, the plot is established, and the pages sometimes seem long. Then, all of a sudden (it seems) the story grabs you. The plot thickens and you find it hard (if not impossible) to put the book down. You have to find out what happens; you need to know the answer to the questions raised.

I think we are at that point in the book of Genesis. We have been following the life of Jacob and his sons with special attention given to Joseph, the favorite son of Jacob. The other brothers hated Joseph and sold him one day as a slave. He went to work for Potiphar a high-ranking official in Egypt. Potiphar's wife falsely charged Joseph with attempted rape, and he was thrown in prison. Finally, Joseph got out of prison when Pharaoh had a dream that spooked him. They called on Joseph to interpret the dream pointing to a future financial crisis. Pharaoh selected Joseph to manage the crisis and he became the second most powerful man in Egypt.

It has been a great story of the sovereignty and plan of God. God has used all of these circumstances to put Joseph in the right place for what happens next. Jacob and family were also hungry due to the famine. They needed food and the only place they could get it was from Egypt. So, Jacob sent his sons to Egypt to buy food. And guess who they will have to buy it from? Yep, their brother Joseph. Now the story is hard to put down. What will Joseph do? Is this when the brothers finally get what is coming to them? That's what we will find out in these last chapters of Genesis.

A FAMILY REUNION

The famine Egypt was preparing for has arrived. It is far reaching. Jacob learned Egypt had food, so he sent 10 of his sons (Benjamin stayed at home because he was the only son of Rachel he had left) to Egypt to get food. In has now been over 20 years since the brother had seen Joseph. (He was a slave for 13 years and there were 7 years of abundant harvests. So, there had to be over 20 years that passed

When the brothers came before Joseph, he recognized them right away. They did not recognize him. Have you ever noticed that young people mature and change a great deal as they get older? Mature adults just become mature-er. They don't change a great deal until maybe the very end of their lives. Joseph was younger than his brothers. He was just 17 when he was sold into slavery. He has changed. His brothers have mainly just gotten older.

Also, have you also noticed how difficult it is to recognize someone when you see them in a place where you do not expect to see them? You might walk right by someone without any recognition. Or, you may think, "Wow, that person looks familiar, but why?"

The last person these brothers expected to see in Egypt was their brother Joseph. He was surely dressed in official Egyptian attire. He likely spoke through an interpreter. The advantage in this meeting was all on the side of Joseph.

I suspect the first thing Joseph noticed was the absence of his brother Benjamin. It doesn't take a Ph.D. to imagine what was going through Joseph's head. I am sure he wondered if the brothers also did something to Benjamin.

The next phrase says, "And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before." Some interpreters speculate that Joseph remembered his dreams of his brothers and parents bowing before him and realized he still needed mom and dad and his brother to bow down for the dream to become reality. - I don't think Joseph is thinking about making dreams come true. I think when Joseph saw his brothers, he remembered that dream so very long ago and had a "lightbulb moment." I think Joseph all of a sudden realized God was in everything that had happened. The Lord had brought him to Egypt for just this very moment. God had been planning this all along.

At this point in the story, we can't help but wonder what is going to happen next. Will Joseph exact revenge?

Information Gathering

He said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.”

10“No, my lord!” they exclaimed. “Your servants have simply come to buy food. 11We are all brothers—members of the same family. We are honest men, sir! We are not spies!”

12“Yes, you are!” Joseph insisted. “You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.”

13“Sir,” they said, “there are actually twelve of us. We, your servants, are all brothers, sons of a man living in the land of Canaan. Our youngest brother is back there with our father right now, and one of our brothers is no longer with us.”

14But Joseph insisted, “As I said, you are spies! 15This is how I will test your story. I swear by the life of Pharaoh that you will never leave Egypt unless your youngest brother comes here! 16One of you must go and get your brother. I’ll keep the rest of you here in prison. Then we’ll find out whether or not your story is true. By the life of Pharaoh, if it turns out that you don’t have a younger brother, then I’ll know you are spies.”

17So Joseph put them all in prison for three days. 18On the third day Joseph said to them, “I am a God-fearing man. If you do as I say, you will live. 19If you really are honest men, choose one of your brothers to remain in prison. The rest of you may go home with grain for your starving families. 20But you must bring your youngest brother back to me. This will prove that you are telling the truth, and you will not die.” To this they agreed.

At first look, it seems Joseph is going to have some fun making his brothers pay for what they did to him. However, that is not what is happening at all! Joseph doesn't trust his brothers. His first priority is to protect Egypt. It was common for spies to come into a city to find out where it is vulnerable. In a famine such as this, Egypt had to be on high alert. People can turn barbaric in a crisis. Joseph does not know how far his brothers would go in their selfishness.

But there are some other things Joseph wants to know,

How is Benjamin?

Is dad still alive?

Do his brothers feel any remorse for what they did to him?

Have they changed?

Immediately in small talk, the brothers tell Joseph they have another brother at home with dad. Joseph needed to make sure his brothers are telling the truth. Trust does not return quickly when you have been abused in any form. You are especially going to have a hard time trusting the ones who did the abusing.

At first, Joseph said he was going to arrest them all and one of them could return home to get the others. After three days (when they were able to experience a taste of what they had put Joseph through), Joseph softened and told the brothers he would only keep one brother until the rest of them returned with their youngest brother. Joseph heard what they said next,

21Speaking among themselves, they said, “Clearly we are being punished because of what we did to Joseph long ago. We saw his anguish when he pleaded for his life, but we wouldn’t listen. That’s why we’re in this trouble.”

22“Didn’t I tell you not to sin against the boy?” Reuben asked. “But you wouldn’t listen. And now we have to answer for his blood!”

Joseph was moved by these words. Anyone who has ever been hurt, rejected, or taken advantage of would love to hear the abusers admit they made a mistake. Those words would bring a start to healing. Forgiveness is easier if the offender simply acknowledged their wrongdoing. Unfortunately, most people never hear such words. We live in a world of excuses, justifications, blame, and even cover-ups. As a result, distance increases and forgiveness is much harder to extend. The brothers do feel remorse.

Joseph picked Simeon to stay behind (we don't know why). When the sacks were loaded with grain, he made sure all their money was returned in those sacks. In other words, Joseph was "gifting" the grain to his brothers. Some might attribute sinister motives to Joseph. I think Joseph was just being nice. Joseph made sure his family was going to be OK.

The plan was set in motion and now all Joseph could do was wait and see. Would his brothers desert Simeon as they deserted him? Were his brother and father really still alive? Would they even return so he could find out?

Halfway home they opened one of their sacks to get some grain for dinner, and they found their money at the top of the sack. They were terrified. They were sure Egypt was not going to be happy about being ripped off by foreigners! They believed this was God's way of punishing them for what they did to Joseph. Guilt is funny that way.

When Reuben and his brothers returned home, I am sure dad said, "And where is Simeon?" As they told the story, their father was deeply distressed. He told his sons, "There is no way I am sending Benjamin with you and risk losing a third son!"

When they opened their sacks and saw that ALL of their money had been returned, they were terrified. Perhaps they imagined Egyptian soldiers coming to look for them. No one was eager for a return to Egypt (except perhaps Simeon). That all changed, of course, when the famine continued, and the food supply was exhausted. Then . . . they had no choice but to return.

The Return Visit

Jacob was determined Benjamin was not going to Egypt. However, things finally got so bad Rueben said they HAD to go and get more food. He promised his father that he would guard the life of Benjamin and would guarantee it with the life of his own sons.

Jacob relented and sent the boys with money for the grain, the money that was returned, and all sorts of gifts for the Egyptian Ruler (their brother Joseph).

When they arrived, Joseph saw his brother Benjamin and was overcome with emotion and excused himself. He instructed the brothers to be taken to his home for dinner. Joseph stayed in character because he still didn't know if the brothers had truly repented.

When they entered the house, they told the manager there was a horrible mistake and somehow their money was returned to them and they want to make things right. To their surprise, they were told the grain was all paid for in full.

When Joseph arrived, the brothers all bowed low (like in the dream Joseph had when he was young) and then he asked about the boys' father. Then he was introduced to his natural brother. Benjamin was very young when Joseph was removed from the family. So, this was a very emotional introduction. Joseph blessed Benjamin and then exited to his room to weep some more.

When Joseph returned, he called for the food. The Egyptians ate at one table, Joseph ate at his own table, and the brothers ate together around a table. (Think about the different tables at a big family Thanksgiving meal). Joseph directed the brothers to where to sit and the brothers noticed they were sitting according to age. They also noticed that Benjamin was given 5 times as much food as the others. Why? Because Joseph is still testing the brothers. This favoritism was the equivalent of the coat of many colors that was given to Joseph. Joseph is interested to see if the brothers react with the same kind of jealousy and anger as they did toward him. But we will learn more about that, next week.

Applications

The main purpose of this story is to show us the wisdom and the sovereignty of God. For all these years in the life of Joseph God was maneuvering him into a position to save Israel from famine. It is a reminder that God sees into the future. We can only see to the next bend on our best days. Our job is to trust God, even when we don't know why things are happening in our lives.

There are a couple of additional lessons we can draw from this text. First, The Importance of Dealing with the Past. These brothers carried around a truckload of guilt. It was always on their minds. They believed every hard thing that happened in their life was God's punishment for their actions toward Joseph.

We think we can simply sweep our past sin under the rug and it will no longer be an issue. We think we can say, "The past is the past, it is time to move on," but it is not that easy. People carry scars that impact their lives right now,

the person who was abused

the one who was rejected

the person who committed a crime (and possibly covered it up)

the person who cheated

the person who lied or was involved in a cover-up

the person who unjustly accused someone else

the person who treated another as if they were an object

The list goes on and on. We all have things that haunt us from the past. These things don't go away until we deal with them.

But what do we do? First, you need to confess. You start by confessing what you did to the Lord. The Lord already knows what you did but He wants to know that YOU acknowledge the wrong you did. You may need to confess to the person involved. You may need to confess to a counselor. There is something freeing about acknowledging what you are trying to keep hidden.

Edgar Alan Poe wrote the haunting story of the Telltale Heart. It's the story of a man who kills an old man, dismembers him, and buries him under his house. It seemed to be a crime that will never be discovered. However, the man kept hearing a heartbeat. This is a picture of the haunting guilt that comes with sin. The guilt became so acute the man finally confessed and led the authorities to pull up the floorboards of his home to retrieve the victim. The only way to stop the "beating heart" is through confession.

Second, we see the Importance of Repentance. People sometimes apologize but are not sorry for the right reasons. They apologize to end a conflict, to appease an opponent, or as an attempt to avoid or mitigate consequences. Such an apology is not about what was done to the other person! It is an apology designed to make life easier for the one who caused the trouble!

People often do the same thing with God. They ask God for forgiveness, but they do so out of fear they will be punished. They want to escape consequences. If they believed they could "get away" with it, they would not confess.

This is why Joseph is so cautious with his brothers. He wants to know if his brothers truly regret what they did. Do they have sorrow for what they did or only for the guilt they feel because of it?

To repent means to see our actions as wrong and desire to never commit that offence again. Repentance admits the wrong done, it does not demand or even expect forgiveness, it makes an effort to right the wrong, and it sets out to make sure such behaviors never happen again. This is important to understand because the Bible calls us to come to God with confession and repentance through Christ.

Have you done this? Are you here today as a person who admits their sin and the justice of God's wrath toward you? Have you come to Christ as your only hope for salvation and new life? Or, are you here today to hopefully smooth things over with God so you can continue to live your life the way you want to live it? Have you come to appease God or to be made new by the Lord? One will soothe your conscience. The other will change your life and your eternity.

Today, you may be like Joseph or more like the brothers. Perhaps you are painfully aware that you have hurt someone else. It may have been a thoughtless word, a selfish act, maybe a betrayal or an act of anger or violence. You regret what you have done. Talk with the Lord, seek His forgiveness. Then you may need to confess the wrong to the one you wounded. Be specific. Take responsibility. The one you hurt needs to hear this as much as you need to say it. It may be the first step in a renewed relationship. Besides, it is just the right and loving thing to do.

Or perhaps, like Joseph, you have been hurt. Like Joseph you will be very careful with these people in the future. You might even avoid them. You may be carrying a hurt that is incredibly deep and even hidden. You may never hear the words you want to hear from those who hurt you. But here is what you need to remember: God understands your pain. He cares about your hurt. In fact, if you will let Him, He will use that hurt to draw you closer to Him. Don't turn away from Him because of what someone else has done. Don't allow bitterness and resentment to eat you up. Find your strength in the Lord, and in time, He will bring healing to your wounded heart. And who knows, one day he may bring the person who hurt you to you and you too will have the opportunity to see genuine sorrow and repentance and the relationship may be renewed. It happened to Joseph. It might just happen to you.