Judah and Tamar - Genesis 38

©September 22nd, 2019 by Rev. Rick Goettsche SERIES: Genesis

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a time in your life when some sin you thought no one knew about was revealed, but I have. In that moment of seeing your sin come to light, there is a pit in your stomach, knowing you’ve messed up, and there’s nothing you can do to change it now. It’s an awful feeling most of us have had at one time or another. Hopefully, however, that feeling drives us to repent of that sin and start moving again on the right path.

This morning, as we look at Genesis 38, we will see Judah, one of Jacob’s sons, face a very similar experience. Judah’s sin is revealed in a way that shows him how serious it is, and it forces him to change course. But in the midst of this story about great sin, we also get to see God’s amazing grace in the way he deals with Judah, Tamar, and ultimately with us.

The Setting

Last week we looked at the story of Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. Chapter 37 ends with the revelation that Joseph was sold into the house of Potiphar, the captain of the Egyptian guard. We would expect chapter 38 to continue telling us about Joseph and his experience in Potiphar’s house, but instead, the writer takes a detour to talk about Judah’s family.

Many think this story is out of place (with some even going so far as to say it was added later), but I think the writer of Genesis includes Judah’s story here on purpose. He shows us Judah’s lack of morals in Genesis 38, and contrasts that with Joseph’s unimpeachable character in Genesis 39. It is intended to be a lesson in contrasts. It also gives us a chance to see the change in Judah’s character from the beginning of Joseph’s story until the end. This experience in Judah’s life likely played a large role in his change in character. So while this seems like a strange diversion in the middle of Joseph’s story, I believe it is intentional, and serves to add some great detail and perspective to it.

Right after the brothers sold Joseph into slavery, Judah apparently left home and moved to a town called Adullam. You have to wonder if part of the reason for Judah’s move was his guilt over what he and his brothers had done. While in Adullam, he met a Canaanite woman and married her. This fact is mentioned in passing, but it is important. There was a history in the family of not intermarrying with the Canaanites due to their pagan tendencies. Abraham insisted that Isaac not marry a Canaanite woman. Isaac saw how Esau’s Canaanite wives corrupted him and sent Jacob away to find a wife among their own people. Judah, however, married a Canaanite woman, though she likely did not share his faith in God. The text describes the events leading up to their marriage very briefly (he saw her, and he married her), which may indicate that their relationship had more to do with physical attraction than the character of the woman. Sadly, this is a struggle many face today as well. We become far more focused on what a person looks like than what kind of person they are. You might say we focus more on chemistry than on character.

So, right away, we learn an important lesson from Judah. The choice of the person we marry (or even become business partners with), is incredibly important. We should be certain of that person’s character, and that they are followers of Christ, as we are. No amount of chemistry can make up for a lack of character. And binding yourself to someone with no character is asking for trouble. I think that’s what Judah did here. Quite frankly, I think that choice may have contributed to much of the heartache Judah faced throughout the rest of the story.

Judah and his wife had three children: Er, Onan, and Shelah. When Er grew up, he married another Canaanite woman (like father, like son), named Tamar. Unfortunately, Er was apparently a very evil man; so much so that God took his life. After this, the story gets weird to modern ears.

Onan, the next oldest son, was supposed to have a child with Tamar. This son would be recognized as the son of Er, rather than his own. In essence, it was Onan’s job to preserve his brother’s family line.

This seems strange to us, but it was common practice in ancient times. Later, during the time of Moses, God actually commanded the practice among the Israelites. It was called the law of levirate marriage. The reason behind the law was simple: women had little to no power and could not inherit the land or wealth of their husbands if they died. This meant a widow was basically helpless. So, having a son would help protect the widow, as the son would now become the heir, and she could be secure.

Unfortunately, Onan was unwilling to do this. He was happy to have sex with Tamar, but tried to prevent her from getting pregnant. He likely had a financial motivation for this. Since the oldest brother had died, Onan (the second-born) essentially became the firstborn, meaning he would get a larger portion of the inheritance in his family. But if Er had a son, this child would likely take over the place as the firstborn son, and Onan would lose out. So Onan acted in his own interests instead of doing what was right. He refused to obey God and simply used Tamar. Because of his sin, God also killed Onan.

Understandably, Judah was a bit worried. Two of his sons had been killed after spending time with Tamar. He was clearly concerned about sending his last son, Shelah to her, for fear that he too would die. Apparently, Shelah was still too young to get married, so Judah told Tamar to go back home to her father’s house and wait for him to summon her. This would have a been a disgrace for Tamar, but she was left with little choice. The text tells us that even though Judah led Tamar to believe he would eventually send Shelah to her, he had no plans to do so. He was just trying to get rid of her.

Tamar’s Plan

We don’t know the exact timeline of the story, but some time later, Shelah was old enough to marry, but Judah didn’t send him to Tamar. Around the same time, Judah’s wife died. After the requisite period of mourning, he made plans to visit his old friend Hirah and supervise the shearing of the sheep. Tamar apparently heard of the plans and had figured out Judah wasn’t going to send his third son to give her an heir. So she decided to take matters into her own hands.

She changed out of her clothing that identified her as a widow and changed into clothing that made her look like a prostitute. She took a place along the road where she knew Judah would pass by. She suspected that after the death of his wife, he might be longing for some female companionship. And she was correct.

An important note is in order here. The Bible accurately records what people did, but just because certain behaviors appear in the Bible does not mean God endorses those behaviors. Both Judah and Tamar engaged in sinful activity. They both engaged in an extramarital sexual relationship, which is always wrong, no matter how you might try to justify it. And Tamar also lied to Judah and tried to trap him. Both of these behaviors are also wrong. So, even though these behaviors are recorded in the Bible, they are recorded as an example of what not to do.

When Judah showed up, he propositioned Tamar, unaware of who she was. He offered to send her a sheep to pay for her services, but she demanded something to guarantee he’d make good on his promise. As security, he offered to leave with her his seal and walking stick. These were important, personally identifying items that Judah would have certainly wanted to retrieve. Many commentators have likened it to leaving your driver’s license with someone. These items were that important. Tamar agreed to these terms and they moved forward with their dalliance.

After Judah returned home, he sent his servant back with a sheep to pay her and retrieve his seal and walking stick. But the woman was nowhere to be found. When they asked the locals about a prostitute who worked there, they said there wasn’t one. So, in order to save face, Judah simply abandoned his items and put the whole thing behind him.

Judah’s Sin Revealed

A few months later, people came and told Judah that Tamar was pregnant. Judah knew his son Shelah had not been with her, so his only conclusion was that she had been unfaithful to her marriage vows. Please don’t miss the double standard of Judah here. He demanded that she be faithful to her marriage vows, even though he was being unfaithful to his end of the agreement. He chose to condemn her, even though he was just as guilty by refusing to send Shelah to her. Judah (possibly sensing an opportunity to get rid of Tamar once and for all) demanded that Tamar be executed.

As they were getting ready to kill Tamar, she revealed who the father of her unborn children was. She said the father was the man to whom the seal and walking stick she had belonged to. At that moment, Judah had the terrible realization of what had happened. Because of his sin in not sending his son to be with Tamar, and his sin in engaging a prostitute, he had made his own daughter-in-law pregnant. Tamar would not be the mother of Judah’s grandchildren, she would be the mother of his children.

Judah’s response to this revelation, however, is telling. Instead of trying to justify his actions or pass the blame, he admitted his sin. He declared that Tamar was more righteous than he was. He was not saying that Tamar’s actions were right, only that she was more righteous than him. It is in this moment of clarity and brokenness that I think Judah’s character changes. I think Judah’s heart softened and he began the process of becoming a different man.

Postscript

At the end of this account, Tamar gives birth to twin sons, Perez and Zerah. Though Zerah was identified as the firstborn, Perez ended up coming out first. Perez becomes the child through whom the greatest blessing is given, which continues the theme of the younger son getting the greater blessing in Genesis.

What is most telling about this passage is what we find out later in Genesis, when Jacob is on his death bed. Judah is given the greatest blessing of Jacob’s sons (with Jacob even prophesying that the Messiah would come from Judah’s line), even though Judah was the 4th oldest child. As we learned in previous weeks, Simeon, Levi, and Reuben (the three oldest) had all disqualified themselves, leaving Jacob to bless Judah instead. Like his brothers, Judah had sinned greatly, but unlike his brothers, he repented of his sin and allowed God to begin changing him. This is a reminder that past sin does not necessarily mean God cannot use us. Often those times of sin and failure become the catalysts God uses to bring about genuine change in our lives, and God’s wonderful grace makes it possible for us to be used by Him in great ways.

Ultimately, the Messiah did come from Judah’s line. And rather than coming from Shelah, the son who is in the ancestry of Jesus is Perez. God used an act of great immorality and sin and turned it into a tremendous blessing. No matter where you are or how badly you have messed up, remember that the story doesn’t have to be over. When we repent, God can still bring good things from a bad situation.

Lessons

As we look at the story of Judah and Tamar there are several lessons we should take away.

First, morality is determined by God, not our circumstances. We are masters of justifying behavior we know is wrong because we deem it necessary given the circumstances. Judah and Tamar both engaged in this kind of justification. Tamar concluded that lying to Judah and using him was justifiable because of his sin. But her actions were still wrong, even if we can sympathize with her reasons. Judah sinned multiple times. He married a Canaanite woman, even though he knew it was a bad idea. I can imagine the way he responded to those who tried to talk him out of it: “But we love each other!” Many people get into trouble by justifying their sinful actions in the name of love. Be careful, whether it is marrying a non-believer, engaging in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, leaving your marriage to pursue another person, or something else; remember that circumstances don’t change what’s right. So follow what God says rather than your feelings in the moment.

Similarly, Judah justified being with a prostitute because he was lonely (some think he may have even been worshiping a pagan god). Regardless, he attempted to justify his sinful actions because of his circumstances. If you find yourself having to convince yourself that an action is ok…that’s a good sign that it’s not. Remember that God’s Word doesn’t change, even when our circumstances do.

Second, sin always catches up to you. It is tempting to continue down a path of sin when we think no one will find out, or if we think it isn’t hurting anyone. These are lies Satan tells us to distract us from the truth, which is that any time we violate God’s commandments, we are putting ourselves in danger. Even if you think you have “gotten away with” something, eventually your sin will be found out, and there will be consequences to it. All sin alienates us from God, even if no one else knows about it. So resist the temptations you face each day, knowing that giving in carries a high price. And deal with sin when you see it, before it goes further and costs even more.

Third, we should look at our sin the same way we look at the sins of others. Don’t you find it ironic that Judah condemned Tamar for “acting like a prostitute”, yet he didn’t see any problem with using the services of a prostitute himself? This kind of double standard is common in our society. We are quick to condemn others, while at the same time minimizing or completely overlooking our own sin. For example,

We condemn the person in an adulterous relationship, but don’t think twice about our gossiping about it.

We look down on the person who spends themselves into debt, but justify our own indulgent spending because we don’t go into debt to do it.

We vilify the person who embezzles from a company, but don’t see that lying on our taxes or misrepresenting losses to our insurance company is stealing as well.

We condemn someone who doesn’t keep their word, but give ourselves the benefit of the doubt when we have to change an arrangement.

Jesus told us that before we pull out a magnifying glass to examine other people’s lives, we should take a long look at our own to see the areas we need to change. We are far better served to look carefully at our own lives than the lives of others.

Fourth, the proper response to sin is admittance and repentance. This is what Judah did right. When faced with his own sin, he didn’t back away, he didn’t try to deny it or justify it. He simply admitted his sin, then sought to make it right. The gospel message is not that we have to be perfect in order to be acceptable to God. Rather it is that when imperfect people admit their brokenness and run to God for forgiveness, He will bring healing to them. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” When we see sin in our lives, we must be honest about it, accept responsibility for it, and ask God for forgiveness. It’s more than just telling God we’re sorry. It’s seeing our sin from his perspective and mourning over what we’ve done to the point that we want to change. If we will do that, He will forgive us and restore us once more.

Finally, God’s grace is bigger than our sin. It would be tempting to look at this account and write off both Judah and Tamar as lost causes, no longer worthy to be used by God. But that’s not what God did. Instead, God worked in their lives, changed their hearts, and used this horrible black mark in their lives in order to bring about great blessing in the future.

Please recognize that no matter how badly you’ve messed up, no matter how far gone you think you are, God has not given up on you. His grace is open to everyone who will turn to Him in faith and repentance. This is wonderful news! It means that no matter what failures are part of your past, the story isn’t over yet. God can still use you.

Conclusion

Most of us can relate to Judah in some way or another. Sometimes we get caught up in sin without even realizing it. Sometimes we compromise with the world instead of standing on principle and doing what’s right. It happens to the best of us. Judah’s example should remind us of the importance of clinging to God’s Word no matter the circumstance. It reminds us of just how much is at stake.

This passage is also a wonderful picture of God’s grace toward sinners. How amazing is it when we look at the genealogy of Jesus that we see Tamar, Rahab, and Bathsheba as part of his ancestry? Women weren’t included in genealogies, let alone women who had made such tremendous mistakes in their lives. This teaches us that God can use everyone, He can change anyone, and He loves to redeem those who have fallen. But before He can do so, we must acknowledge our sin, run to Him for forgiveness, and ask Him to change the direction of our lives.

So you see, this account that seemed so irrelevant and distant is intensely personal. You might even say it was written and placed in the Bible to give you and me hope. All is not lost. You can start fresh. He can take the broken pieces of your life and form them into something far better than the life you had before. This is no fairy tale . . . it is the good news of the gospel. The question is: will you make excuses or confess your sin and bring Jesus the broken pieces of your life? One way leads to life; the other to futility and death.