Lyndsie Blythe - 10/6/18
[Bruce's remarks at the Celebration of Life on 10.6.18)
We gather here today numb, still finding it hard to grasp what has happened. We know rationally what the facts are, but emotionally we cannot fathom it.
We find ourselves with questions, all starting with the same word: why? Why Lyndsie? Why now? Why someone who declared her faith and trust so boldly? Why didn't she get a miracle? There are no satisfying answers to these questions. The entire book of Job is devoted to this very question of why?
Job's life was hit from all angles. His lost his business, his employees, his possessions, his children, and finally his own health. His wife blamed him for their pain. His friends said it was punishment for something he did wrong. Job did not buy it. He looked to the Lord for an explanation.
At the end of the book God appeared to Job. He asked Him a bunch of questions. These were all questions that reminded Job that God was in control and not Him. He was superior in wisdom and glory. The Lord set the rules, not Job. God did tell Job's friends they would sound much smarter if they kept their mouths shut. God affirmed job's righteous life. God did bless Job once again. But He never answered Job's questions.
The gist of God's answer was Trust Me! That's it. And when it all comes down to it we must conclude that either life is arbitrary and meaningless, or God's way are more profound than we can grasp or He can explain to us.
A man named Lawrence Kohlberg once did a study on Moral Reasoning. He discovered several levels of reasoning. But the most helpful thing he learned was a person can only understand one level above where they are. In other words, a young child cannot understand the reasoning of an adult (in most cases). Using Kohlberg's insights with the book of Job, it is as if God is saying to Job: "My Moral Reasoning is at 1000, yours is at 3! In other words, it is not that God doesn't have reasons for what He does and what He allows in the world. It is we can't understand those reasons until we get to Heaven.
So, for now, we must trust God's character rather than our ability to process things.
Here is what we do know: Lyndsie Blythe died after a long and valiant battle with cancer. However, what we want to remember is not how Lyndsie died . . . we want to remember that she lived!
Lyndsie Blythe was a remarkable woman. The first time I met her I felt overpowered (and perhaps even exhausted) by her personality and energy. I had the joy of sharing in her wedding to Jared 11 years ago next Saturday. Lyndsie was a woman who was not tentative about life. She loved her family. She loved her husband. She loved her kids. She loved the Lord and she loved life. She taught us to see more clearly, appreciate more deeply, and to enjoy more fully.
She had this wonderfully artistic side. She saw beauty where other people did not, whether it was in stuff lying around, an old building, or in the design of a rich, fattening, and beautiful dessert. Lyndsie had an eye for beauty and a heart for having fun. She was a "people person."
When the cancer ordeal began, Lyndsie looked for a way to redeem the situation; she wanted others to benefit from her experience. I don't know how many people regularly read her blog. I know I did. She gave insights into breast cancer and treatments that you can't get from anywhere else. She was vulnerable, honest, and faith-building.
It is one thing to go through treatment for cancer and then be told you are in remission. But when the cancer returns it deflates and treatment is even harder because now you know what treatment is going to involve. I can only imagine that each successive time you have to travel that road, it has to get harder and harder until most people want to give up. Lyndsie never stopped fighting.
Her approach was simple: for however long I am going to live, I am going to squeeze every ounce of life out of the moments that I have. That's a pretty good lesson for the rest of us.
Lyndsie could not have had a better partner for this journey that Jared. There seemed to be a connection between the two of you that is special. Though it doesn't seem fair to have to give her up so soon, don't miss the fact that what the two of you had together was something most people spend their whole life looking for. There is a sense in which Lyndsie lives on in your two beautiful children.
But let's not forget Lyndise also lives on as Lyndsie as well. She was very vocal about her faith. Even in death she was teaching anyone who would pay attention, what it looked like to love with joy and die with dignity.
The message of the bible is crystal clear: Whoever acknowledges their sin and rebellion and puts their hope and trust in Christ as Savior and Lord, will live even though they die. This would sound like mere wishful thinking if it wasn't for the resurrection of Jesus! His resurrection was God's way of showing us the promise is true. This life is not our home. Even when the prognosis is not what we expect or desire, we know that He loves us.
Alisa Turner is a new songwriter. She has quite a story but I'm not going to tell you her story, instead I want to read you the lyrics of a song she wrote titled, "Miracle or Not." I think Lyndsie may have found these lyrics to express her own feelings.
[Verse 1]
How long will I have to hear the stories of how You were able
How long will I have to celebrate the miracle that's not my own
How long will I lift my voice and sing again that You are always good
When I'm feeling all this distance, I thought I never would
How long
[Chorus 1]
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I'm still not alone
And at the end of the day
I'll stand right here and say
I know that You love me
Miracle or not
[Verse 2]
How long will I give myself before I give up waiting
How long will I have to hide behind the smile that says that I'm OK
How long will I hold on to the promises I thought I heard You speak
When every passing day just leaves me broken down and weak
[Chorus 1]
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I'm still not alone
And at the end of the day
I'll stand right here and say
I know that You love me
Miracle or not
[Bridge]
I will sing 'til my broken heart believes it
I'll declare it 'til I smell the smoke of faith
And with my hands held high, I'll scream it in the darkness
'Til hope is finally louder than the ache
[Chorus 2]
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I'm still not alone
And at the end of the day
I'll stand right here and say
I know that You love me
I know that You love me
Miracle or not
(Copyright Alisa Turner)
So, now what? Where do we go from here? We can spend our days depressed and sad because Lyndsie died or we can remember and be inspired by how she lived. Every one of us would like to think the people we care about would be sad when we died. We certainly would not want them to be happy! We want people to miss us! However, we wouldn't want them to stop living. Lyndsie spent much of her life investing in us. Her hope is for that investment to pay some dividends. Hopefully some BIG dividends. The best way to honor Lyndsie is to live our lives in a way that shows we were paying attention to her beauty, spirit and grace.
We know Lyndsie is OK but the hole she leaves is paralyzingly deep. We must help each other. That is what this day is about. Tell your stories, display your pictures, remember and write down your special times, Cherish the gift of Lyndsie's life. Let's give thanks to God for His blessing and ask Him to help us to invest that blessing wisely.