Lila McKeown - 9/22/18

Celebration of Life Remarks for Lila McKeown

Unlike most of you, I was not related to Lila (that I know of). However, I am honored to call her my friend. I respected her as a teacher and as an administrator. I had the opportunity to see her true heart on several occasions. Many people have no idea how much she cared about people and about the quality of education in La Harpe.

Lila was only 15 when her dad died. She was left at home with her two sisters and worked hard to make sure they were well cared for.

As I understand it, Lila used to host a party every Friday night after whatever game was going on at the school. There would be 50 cars parked around the house. It was the place to be! How many of you attended one of those parties?

I hear Lila was not a "prissy" girl in High School. She was beautiful, a Cheerleader, Homecoming Queen and the Hancock County Fair Queen. Yet, she wasn't hung up on her looks. She was a bit of a rebel. In fact, as a Principal she was known to tell students they shouldn't try anything because she had already done it and would catch them!

Lila went to the College of the Ozarks. She scrimped, saved, and lived simply so she could get through school. She went on to get her Master's Degree from WIU. She taught Science at the La Harpe Junior High and then taught science in the High School. Students knew her as an excellent teacher. She became Principal in 2004. But I am getting ahead of the story.

When Lila came back from college she once again began dating Wendell McKeown. He would tell you she was his soulmate. A soulmate is someone who not only loves you, but also "gets" you. It is the person you would rather spend time with than anyone in the world. It is that person you love to do things for and their smile lights up your heart. It is a rare blessing when you find this special person. That was Lila and Wendell. They have two children: Cody and Dillon. Lila was a great mom even though her sons didn't always make it easy for her. She knew, from her own experience, that a little rebelliousness did not mean you were heading down a bad road. Lila believed in her boys and was wonderfully proud of them.

When people came to babysit they knew she always had the freezer stuffed with Jack's Pizza, and ice cream. She had plenty of milk because Dillion loved milk . . . especially with the Oreos that were always around.

Lila liked to host the family or anyone else at her house. She hosted all the family celebrations. She would rather cook for 60 people than go out. She was a homebody. The house was always open to any family member who needed a place to stay. There was only one condition to gathering at her home . . . she wasn't going to make any phone calls to invite people. Lila did not like talking on the phone! (In fact, as Principal, she was so grateful to have Kelly in the school office to answer the phone, she would often bring her her first cup of coffee).

She was a regular at the cousins retreat at Garold's cabin. At first it was just the girls, the guys would come later. There were always great stories, lots of laughing and food, food, and more food. Speaking of food, I hear her Texas cake and blackberry cobbler were terrific and something people fought over at family gatherings.

Lila was a woman who could make a dollar go a long way. She loved to shop for bargains. her closet was filled with clothes that still had the price tag on them. She loved yard sales. She knew how to live within her means, she was a real good manager. There was a period when she was student teaching and she was living with Mark. She had only a dollar. After the three months she still had the same dollar! She knew how to be content and to get by.

She loved babies. She was so grateful when Jackie came along.

The home they now live in, as I understand it, was designed by Lila and built by Wendell. Lila was claustrophobic and liked open space and her home reveals that feeling of space. Even though she became a principle she never did like big crowds. In fact, she would have hated this. Too many people, too much focus on her, and far far too many pictures of her.

Lila was always learning. She liked to read. She read widely from the latest trends in education to Harry Potter. She loved learning and wanted to instill that love to others

As a teacher she was creative and resourceful. One time she took over as coach of the basketball team. She knew almost nothing about basketball but she made it a point to learn. (It helped to have Jay Jones helping her). The girls loved her. They knew she wanted them to succeed. As Jr. High coach she made the girls run up and down the three flights of stairs . . . but she always ran with them.

One time as a teacher she had a student that just wouldn't stop talking. So, she took duck tape and put it over his mouth! At the end of the year the child's parent, let's say, "expressed their disapproval." Recently, one of the teachers was talking about children that just wouldn't be quiet, so they were tempted to tape their mouth shut. Principal Lila responded dryly, "I tried that once, it wasn't a good idea." The other teachers just stared at her in disbelief.

Lila was always willing to try things if she thought it would help the kids. A number of years ago, she was had her class take some time to meditate. Some parents objected, and it stopped. Lila wasn't trying to be subversive, she was just open to new ideas. She was a big supporter of Art and Music in the school and gave priority to those programs.

It was while she was a teacher that we began a Friday morning Bible Study in her room. It was always fun to have Lila in a Bible Study. She was articulate and insightful, plus she wasn't going to let you get away with something that just wasn't right.

During the summer, Lila managed the La Harpe Pool for a number of years. One of the Lifeguards said. "She had a special way of listening to us. She never seemed to judge. You always felt comfortable talking to her." Lila was known to bring buckets of green beans and the staff would sit around, snap beans and enjoy talking.

Lila was outspoken and direct. You never had to guess what she was thinking. Some people didn't like that directness. The thing is, she welcomed your directness in return. She always appreciated when you talked to her rather than about her. It hurt deeply when others attacked her but she didn't let it show. She didn't have a lot of use for those who talked about her instead of to her. I have a feeling when Lila was angry, it was best to keep your distance. (But I could be wrong).

Lila always seemed willing to talk. She was perceptive and if your heart was open to what she was saying, you would come away from the conversation believing you were a better person. I loved visiting with Lila. She had a way of taking a superficial conversation and turning into a significant dialogue.

Lila was a good principal. It wasn't easy to be the boss over people you were related to and had been friends with all your life. Lila did her job and strove to be impartial. She sat in on classes, wrote evaluations, and tried to push each teacher to be better at what they do. This was true regardless of your feelings about her. Some responded well, others did not. She knew it was all part of the job.

Lila worked hard to encourage good behavior among the students. She did this by emphasizing rewarding good behavior rather than making threats against bad behavior. She was always smiling as the kids enjoyed a good behavior event. She also loved getting the staff together to do group building exercises.

She enjoyed special events. Probably her favorite event was "talk like a Pirate day." Last year she dressed up like a pirate and had such a good time. The kids loved it too. The kindergarten class last year won the award they handed out for the day. Talk like a Pirate day was last Wednesday. Now first graders, the kids remembered getting to take a picture with Mrs. McKeown. It is a special memory.

Lila's laugh could fill a room with joy. And if you got her really laughing it became infectious.

On occasion Lila was known to Micro-manage. She liked being the athletic director. Others were willing to do the job, but she wouldn't give it up! She insisted on having a strong input on uniforms. Jason Finch and Dave Clover would always pick out the jerseys they wanted for girl's basketball and then would look for the two ugliest jerseys and present her with the three possibilities so she would pick what they wanted!

Lila had a sensitive and tender side. Once in a while she would call up my son and ask him for prayer because it was an especially bad day. Sometimes people would go into her office and find her Bible open as she looked for guidance,

Once when coaches were not being paid because of the budget, Lila paid out of her own pocket to keep one of the coaches. On another occasion she knew one of the teachers had had a grueling morning. She gave the teacher a card with $20.00 in it that said go have a drink and relax. She gave this teacher the afternoon off.

When she went through cancer treatments after losing one of her lungs, she was in school as much as she could physically handle. At times she was exhausted, but she would not let the school down. She wanted the school to excel.

On another occasion she went to the wedding of a teacher in the school. She sat with the teacher's mom at the reception and the mom talked about how Lila praised the teacher like a teacher would praise a student to a parent. She made sure mom knew the teacher was appreciated.

The same teacher was given a plaque that noted when the new family was established. How many here have one of those plaques?

One mother told me that her son transferred to La Harpe from another school where he had the reputation of being a bad boy. He had come to believe he was bad. Lila, took him under her wing. She visited with him, believed in him, and convinced him the other school was wrong! She told him he was actually a very good kid. His attitude changed because Lila believed in him. Lila worked hard to see the good in people.

These are some of the stories we know about. I am sure there were scores of others we will never know. Lila didn't do these things for recognition, she did them because she cared.

This last year Lila was threatened with a lawsuit by the Freedom from Religion foundation. They were upset that Lila put things like, "Don't forget, Christmas celebrates Christ" or "Easter is about the risen Jesus" or even "God bless" or she would make requests for prayer for certain people. Apparently, we now live in a culture where any mention of the Christian faith is treated with hostility. Lila believed this all started from a complaint from a teacher she had to fire because . . . in Lila's words, "she was a terrible teacher."

There was a great deal of news coverage on this letter from the Freedom from Religion group. Throughout the process she did not grant interviews. She saw no reason to fan the flames of the issue. My response when Lila told me about this conflict was, "Good for you. Nothing will change unless people start refusing to compromise with Christian teaching. Someone must stand up and trust God's word." That, and only that, was what Lila was trying to do.

I saw Lila agonize over letting a teacher go. She worked hard to find ways to keep other teachers even when they were battling health or emotional issues. She ached when teachers were in pain. She hurt with her students. Her tears were often in private. Her tender heart was kept hidden under an "in control" exterior. She did her job, and put all her heart into it.

After she died, the staff and administration was trying to get a read on where things were at in the school. I heard one of the people report, "Everything is in order just as you would expect Lila to have it." One student wrote, "Mrs. McKeown was like the main puzzle piece and it is like we lost her piece."

I cannot imagine what it is like for you, Wendell, to lose your soulmate. I ache for you Cody and Dillon. I mourn that Jackie will not have the opportunity to counsel with Lila as she faces various issues in her life. This community grieves with you.

I know Lila was not afraid of dying. I suspect she confronted any fears she had when she had cancer. Lila knew when she died, she would live. She had a strong and fearless faith in Jesus Christ. Lila was not gullible. Faith was not something you believed regardless of the facts. She had examined Jesus and came to know she could trust Him. She tried hard to honor Him in all she did.

Lila is now where she ultimately longed to be: with her Savior. I know she died the way she wanted to die . . . quickly rather than dying by inches. She saw her brother die slowly and hated it. These facts give me comfort. I know I will see her again. But for now, the sense of loss will have to be tempered by the wonderful memories of a life well-lived. I pray the seeds she planted in our lives will bloom, and the work that she loved will continue through us. We have been blessed by God because we knew Lila. I give Him thanks even as I ask Him to give strength to this family, friends, school, and community.

So, wander among the pictures. Share your stories. Celebrate the way her life impacted yours. Remember her joyfully. You see, Lila may not have liked crowds, but she did enjoy a good party. And I believe the celebration she is a part of now is far superior to anything she has ever experienced before. So, let's celebrate her!

Please allow me to pray:

Father, we ache with the suddenness of our loss. But we also rejoice and give thanks for Lila. She reflected you in so many ways. She was your gift to us and we thank you for that gift. Now, please help us to take what she taught us and use it to carry on. Give us a measure of her compassion, her spirit, her strength, her pursuit of excellence, her sense of humor, and her faithfulness.

Grant strength, guidance, and comfort to her family. Grant them memories that do not fade over the course of time. Help them to savor and give thanks for what they have received.

Now Lord, please go with us and lead us until that day when we see Lila again. We ask in Jesus' name.