Funeral for Margit E. M. Schafer - 4/10/18

We gather today to mourn the loss but also to celebrate the life of Margit Schafer. In times of grief and trial we look to the Bible as a source of strength and truth. In the Bible we read these words,

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed….because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us in his presence…Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

This afternoon we cling to the truth that even in the midst of hard times, such as the death of a loved one, God is with us. He will give us the strength we need to carry on if we will seek Him. So will you pray with me as we ask for His strength?

Our Heavenly Father, we gather today with heavy hearts as we prepare to say goodbye to Margit. Help us today to cling to you as our anchor in the midst of a storm of emotions. Bring comfort, strength, and your love to these family and friends gathered here today. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Margit E. Schafer was born June 7th, 1938 in Guben, Germany to Paul and Meta (Mayta) Mier (Meer) Wolff. She spent her formative years in Germany, but visited America in 1959 and fell in love with the country. She also fell in love with Hermann Schafer, but didn’t feel like she could marry him because her father didn’t approve. So the two of them embarked on a grand adventure, heading to America with no money, no jobs, and little ability to speak English. They came to Burlington in June of 1962, and were married on July 7th, 1962. Hermann often joked that he wasn’t sure the marriage was legal because he simply repeated the English words he was supposed to…he didn’t know what he was saying!

Despite such an auspicious beginning to their marriage, Hermann and Margit made a good team, and enjoyed 55 years of marriage together. They had two sons, Norman and Armin (Armeen), and they enjoyed seeing their boys grow up.

Margit was a beautician for her entire adult life, training first in Germany and then coming to the United States. She worked nearly 49 years at Dan’s Touch of Style, continuing to come into work even up until recently. She took great pride in her work and came to love both her clients and the people with whom she worked.

Margit was saddened by the death of her son Armin in 2016. She insisted on writing his obituary. I think it was her way of making sure her son was taken care of one last time. She died on April 6th, 2018 at the age of 79. She is survived by her husband, Hermann, her son Norman and his wife Janet, three grandsons: Isaac, Henry, and Calvin Schafer, and two granddaughters: Reyna Schafer and Ashley Schafer.

I have enjoyed getting to know more about Margit in the last few days. She sounds like a woman who would always keep you on your toes. Almost everyone I’ve talked to has told me that Margit was the kind of person who would tell you what she thought, always giving you the unvarnished truth. At times, the things she said could easily be taken the wrong way, but people who knew her knew she wasn’t being mean or hurtful at all. That was just Margit.

Others sometimes tried to rein in that desire to be so truthful, but they had little success. At the beauty shop, they would try to tell her that she shouldn’t tell men they were going bald…they already knew. But that didn’t stop Margit. She would sometimes give women fashion advice, like you’re too big of a woman to have such a small purse, or something of that nature. Others sometimes would cringe as she said these things, thinking the people she said these things to would be offended, but again, Margit could get away with saying things others couldn’t. Perhaps my favorite was that one day she said to Barb (Janet’s mom), that she was often jealous of other women. She said she wasn’t jealous of Barb though, just the young, pretty women. Again, Barb understood the heart of what Margit was really saying.

She loved being a beautician. She was proud of her own appearance and wanted to make sure others looked good as well. She never seemed to leave the house without having her hair done, her makeup perfect, and being dressed impeccably.

She trained as a stylist in Germany before coming to the United States. In Germany, to become licensed you had to serve a 3-year apprenticeship. The first year was spent only washing hair. As a result, everyone agreed that Margit was the best hairwasher in the shop and everyone liked it when she would wash their hair.

The beauty shop was kind of a second home for her because she loved going to work and would spend most Saturdays there working. The shop became a familiar place for her boys, as did the restaurant across the street where they would go to play pinball while mom was at work.

Margit was very proud of her German heritage and the people around her came to appreciate that heritage as well. Growing up, they spoke German around the house. This meant that when it came time for Norman to go to school, he didn’t actually speak a great deal of English. Needless to say, this made life difficult for both him and his teachers! She and Hermann made sure the boys were well-dressed. Since they were so close in age, they often dressed alike, almost like twins. “Well-dressed” often meant that they had traditional German clothing—lederhosen complete with leather pants. The boys often tried to point out that though this was traditional dress back in Germany, it was not traditional in Burlington…but Margit was not someone whose mind was changed easily.

She was always happy to make big traditional family meals for important days. She’d make her own sauerkraut and other traditional dishes, as well as some dishes well-known in America. She apparently made very fluffy mashed potatoes, and when asked what her secret was, she said you had to throw the potatoes in the air, which helped them become fluffier! She was a funny woman, but sometimes you weren’t sure whether she was being serious or not.

Margit loved to give gifts. She felt it was important to show generosity, even if it was just a small token of appreciation. As a child in Germany the soldiers would often give her candy, something that left a tremendous impact on her. She often had chocolate on her and would give it to people as well. Whenever she’d show up at John and Barb’s house, she and Hermann would bring a gift of some kind. When she found out that her friends Marty and Carol were waiting to get married until they could get on good financial footing, she sent them a gift to help get them started in that direction.

Margit loved her sons and her grandchildren. She would always ask about her sons’ hair, because she wanted to make sure they looked their best. The kids always remember going out to Napoli’s with Opa and Oma. They loved to order spaghetti, but they always laughed because when it came time to take the orders Margit would always tell the server that they would like the kiddie platter. The kids would quickly remind her that they really were no longer little kids, and they needed the big spaghetti plate.

She loved pictures of her family. She was proud to post pictures around her station at the shop and was the first person to ask to see pictures once they were developed. To this day, she had Janet and Norman’s wedding album sitting by her chair at home.

Margit was not easily convinced of anything—including stories she thought seemed unlikely. If you talked with Margit for very long, you would inevitably say something that she didn’t quite believe, which would result in her saying, “You must be nuts” or “Oh, yeah right.” She had very strong ideas about fashion, and thought that as a large woman, she should have big hair, a big purse, and big jewelry. She often told Hermann, “I’m too big to wear small jewelry.”

Her hair became kind of a signature style for her…and that style was basically unchanged for 50 years. Though many people tried to convince her to try something new, Margit was resolute. One time Dan cut her hair and tried to do something different with it…He was never allowed to cut her hair again. She only trusted a select few to cut her hair because it needed to be done right.

She loved music and enjoyed dancing. She and Hermann loved to dance Polkas together. I’m told that at Norman and Janet’s wedding she was dancing with Norman, but became frustrated that he wasn’t doing it right, so she left him alone and went and danced with Hermann instead. He knew how to dance the way she wanted.

She loved her husband dearly and was devoted to him. She would do anything for him and always tried to make sure he was taken care of. But she was also protective of him. She wanted to make sure he wouldn’t mess around with other women. One time she even dressed up in different clothes and a wig to go and watch him during his pool league. She watched him quietly from the other side of the bar to make sure he was behaving himself. Before he left, Hermann decided he should buy the nice woman at the end of the bar a drink. He loved his wife too. Their neighbors said they made a beautiful couple—and they were right.

Margit was someone you had to know in order to really understand. If you didn’t know her, she could seem scary because she had a big personality. But she also had a big heart. If you took the time to get to know Margit, you were grateful you did. Those who got to know her will all miss her dearly.

[SONG]

As a Christian, I look to the Bible for comfort in times of sadness and pain. In God’s Word I find several truths that I think may bring comfort to us as we grieve.

First, is that God knew Margit. The Bible tells us that God created each and every one of us in His image. He knows the number of hairs on our head, something I know Margit would appreciate. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our insecurities and our struggles. God knew Margit intimately, even in the times when she struggled to know Him.

Second, is that God loved Margit. As you can imagine, the Bible also teaches that because God has created each one of us, He also loves us deeply. Just as Margit loved her own children, God loved her as his. This means that even though God knew about Margit’s idiosyncrasies and flaws, He loved her anyway. He loved her straightforward nature, He loved her sense of humor, He loved her heart. And He also saw her insecurities and struggles and loved her then too. When she hurt, God hurt. God cared for Margit deeply.

Third, is that God made it possible for Margit to be forgiven and spend eternity with Him in Heaven. I know this was a question that Margit struggled with herself. She wondered if there really was a Heaven or whether it was just a fairy tale. From what I can gather she came to believe that there really is life beyond the grave.

The Bible teaches us very clearly on this matter.

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile, we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling…For while we are in this earthly tent, we groan and are burdened…because we long to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up in life. (2 Corinthians 5:1-2,4)

Margit’s earthly tent (the body she inhabited here) has worn out. Margit didn’t like the idea of getting old, even though it’s something that happens to each one of us. The good news of the Bible is that when our earthly bodies wear out, it’s not the end of the story! God promises that those who trust in Jesus will have a new body, one that is not plagued by the burdens of this life.

How does that happen? Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth, and the life. In other words, Heaven is very much a real place. It is a place that each of us can go when we die, but there is only one way to get there, and that is through Jesus Christ. It is only when we understand that because we have all sinned, none of us is worthy of heaven on our own merits. Our only hope is to turn to Jesus, ask for His forgiveness, and trust Him to do what we cannot. If we will trust in and follow Jesus, then He promises we will spend eternity with him, in a new and heavenly body.

I don’t know exactly where Margit stood in regards to her faith. I hope she trusted Jesus in this way. I can tell you this—if she did, then she is more alive today than she has ever been. And she has finally been delivered from the body that had begun to betray her in this life. If she trusted in Jesus, then today she is with Him. And if you do the same, you can be sure of your eternal destination as well.

[SONG]

As we look at the life of Margit Schafer, I think we can learn several things.

We learn the value of working hard and being faithful in your work. People take notice and respect such dedication.

We learn that it’s important to be proud of where you came from.

We learn that it’s amazing what you can get away with saying to people when they know you really do care about them.

We learn the value of taking pride in the things you do and in the way you present yourself.

We learn that sometimes people just need to be told, “you must be nuts!”

We learn the value of family, and of making sure those you love are well-taken care of.

And we learn that God is bigger than our doubts and our struggles, and that if we will simply trust in Him, we will one day be with Him when this life is over.

Will you pray with me?

Father, we know that you knew and loved Margit Schafer, just as the people in this room did. We thank you for her life, her spirit, and the joy she brought to so many. Lord, we come today with heavy hearts at the thought of saying goodbye. I pray that you would be with this family and friends and help them as they grieve. Give them strength, remind them of fond memories, and comfort them with the truth that because of Jesus there really is life beyond the grave. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.