New Relationships
Our Exalted Christ • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 32:50
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· 108 viewsOld ideas require renewed commitment if we are to reflect Christ in our relationships.
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Introduction:
Introduction:
As I read today’s text early in the week to begin meditating on it, I noticed that each instruction was relatively short, most less than a dozen words. I imagined a family opening fortune cookies after dinner at a Chinese restaurant, each person reading a brief prescription that is usually forgotten before you even make it to the car.
A difference between today’s text and Chinese proverbs is that those are usually new words that are quickly disregarded. The words that Paul writes are for us old words that must be obeyed.
Just as many of the chants we hear from demonstrators only take 3-4 words to communicate the message but implementing that message could require a lifetime of change, The few words we read this morning are quick to read, but difficult to faithfully live out.
Last week our instructions were to reflect Christlikeness in our interactions through humility and meekness. This week those commands come home to roost.
In our world of privacy, we often presume that what happens behind closed doors is nobody’s business. But notice that the Lord is referred to 6 times in this paragraph. What happens in our homes is just as much a reflection of our relationship in Christ as what happens on the street.
Transition: Before we consider the workplace, Let’s start by looking at the home where we find...
Family Relationships Necessitate Humility (3:18-21)
Family Relationships Necessitate Humility (3:18-21)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
3 Descriptions of a wife’s role (v.18)
3 Descriptions of a wife’s role (v.18)
· The wife doesn’t come first because her need is greater. Paul starts with her because his request of her is largely a continuation of the wife’s role throughout the Old Testament. He does however tweak her relationships.
1. Submit is not a value word, it is an order word. It is used in military to denote the roles that each plays in the scheme.
2. Submit is a voluntary word. In English we have 2 voices, active and passive. An active verb is an action done toward another. A passive verb is an action done toward the subject of the sentence. I hit the ball vs. I was hit by the ball. In the language used to transmit God’s truth to us there exists a middle voice. These are actions that one does for and toward oneself. (like bathe yourself or feed yourself or read to yourself). Literally it reads, “Wives submit yourselves [to/regarding) your husbands.”
3. Is fitting in the Lord shapes submission. How did Jesus submit himself toward authority? As a co-equal member of the Triune godhead He had authority to disobey the Father. His trial before and during crucifixion sets a high bar to define what fitting submission looks like.
2 Responsibilities of a husband’s role (v.19)
2 Responsibilities of a husband’s role (v.19)
1. Love is not the first word that would be used to describe ancient marriages. They were often arranged and property laws considered wives not much more than chattel (even among the Jewish people of God). By leading with love, Paul is elevating concern for the wife’s well-being several layers above the cultural expectation.
Earlier this week our President declared himself the “law and order President”. For the purpose of that moment he did not want to portray himself as the “warm and fuzzy President”.
· Most first century husbands would be described as the “protect and provide” husband, not the “loving” husband.
2. The 2nd responsibility is worded as a negative, something to be avoided. Depending upon your translation this is either labeled as harsh or embittered.
In my experience, bitterness almost always comes from real or imagined mistreatment. A pretty short chain exists from mistreatment to unforgiveness to bitterness.
From those who protest stay-at-home orders to those who violate curfews, we don’t have to look far to find people who have permitted mistreatment to blossom into bitterness
If a husband’s first thought toward his wife is that of mistreatment, he will not act toward her with the love that is commanded in v.19.
3. In a complimentary passage in Ephesians Paul further clarifies the type of love a husband is to have toward his wife—as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.
4. The marriage described in these verses is not measured in what one gets, but what one gives.
Several of you have seen the motion picture Fireproof. In that movie a marriage that is all but over is turned around when one partner determines for 100 days to give to the other rather than expect from the other.
Transition: Once the husband/wife relationship reflects godliness, Paul proceeds to parent/child interactions.
2 Perspectives on the role of children (v.20)
2 Perspectives on the role of children (v.20)
· The obey commanded of children is more forceful than the submit of wives.
1. The extent of that obedience is in everything, it is complete. It is neither partial, nor delayed.
2. Notice the motivation for obedience is also given. The motivation is not to earn favors or to avoid discipline. The godly child (by the way this includes all offspring in the family, not just juveniles) pleases the Lord by his obedience.
· I think the this at the end of v.20 is not just the obedience of child toward parent, but the obedience toward any authority. Because obedience to authority reflects the attitude of Christ that we see from His temptation to His crucifixion.
Lifeguards, umpires, teachers, Law Enforcement officers, Resident Assistants, safety officers, etc. Your whole life you will be given opportunity to obey authority.
Boundaries on Parental Influence (v.21)
Boundaries on Parental Influence (v.21)
· Verse 21 reminds us that Fathers have an active role to play in parenting. No slight is intended toward mothers, Paul would surely have recognized her influence in maintaining household order. As a matter of fact, this same word is used in Heb. 11:23 to refer to both of Moses’ parents.
1. The challenge is wrapped up in the verbs provoke/embitter/aggravate and discouraged.
· This embitter is similar but different than the embitter of a husband toward his wife.
· This word is not the idea of “pushing one’s emotional buttons”, but carries the idea of “meet the challenge”.
Competition can be good. It teaches responsibility and effort and reward. But it can be taken too far. Some parents make everything a competition and sometimes expect children to do things outside of their bent. I think 2nd-born children especially face this.
· Clinical depression, anxiety, eating disorders and ulcers are much more prevalent in current generations. This pressure to “meet the challenge” can be self-imposed, it can be felt from peers or it can flow from a fear of disappointing the adults in a child’s life.
· Wins and losses are part of life. When your child experiences a loss is your default, “You’ll get ‘em next time.” Or is it “I really liked the way you…, I hope you enjoyed participating in the concert, game, play, etc.”
For a short while I worked in retail sales. I worked for 3 different companies with very different positions on competition. The employer who was least stressful was the one that expected excellence every day from every employee on every shift. The most stressful was and employer who forced monthly evaluation of performance and published goals to “beat your best”. The stress of continually trying to do more than the best we had ever done, without regard to seasons or products, actually induced fear, became demotivating and discouraging.
2. The warning for parents that that we do not take our goal-setting to an extreme where our children lose heart or become discouraged.
Application
Application
1. The bow needs to occasionally release the tension or it will not perform in combat.
2. The watch spring that never unwinds will not keep accurate time.
3. The child who never tastes mercy can easily become discouraged and surrender the fight.
Transition While the next verses represent a shift in focus, they also are rooted in households because at this time in History enterprise was done as families, not corporations.
Work Relationships Flourish with Respect (3:22-4:1)
Work Relationships Flourish with Respect (3:22-4:1)
22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
· Due to America’s dark history with slavery, we are conditioned to bristle at the word slave. Perhaps this is why 2 popular English translations choose the word bondservant.
Warren Wiersbe writes, “Slavery was an established institution in Paul’s day. There were 60 million of them, and many of them were well-educated people who carried great responsibilities in the homes of the wealthy. In many homes, the slaves helped to educate and discipline the children.
Why didn’t the church of that day openly oppose slavery and seek to destroy it? For one thing, the church was a minority group that had no political power to change an institution that was built into the social order. Paul was careful to instruct Christian slaves to secure their freedom if they could (1 Cor. 7:21); but he did not advocate rebellion or the overthrow of the existing order.[i]
Workers owe God-worthy Contribution
Workers owe God-worthy Contribution
1. As with children in v.20, the extent of a slave’s obedience was to be in everything.
2. As with wives and children, the slave is to obey with the Lord in mind. The everything in the name of the Lord back in v.17 is revisited in v.22-24.
3. The reward promised in v.24 was a reminder that the Lord doesn’t settle all accounts on this side of the grave. Faithful employees keep a heavenly mindset.
4. The wrongdoer will give account to the perfectly impartial judge (v.25)
Managers owe Just Treatment (4:1)
Managers owe Just Treatment (4:1)
1. Treatment is more than, but includes, compensation.
2. We hear much today about demanding justice. It has been observed that we want justice for others, but mercy for ourselves.
3. The masters in 4:1 are reminded that the way they master others is to reflect how they wish to be mastered.
4. Justly is the idea of moral rightness and fairly is related to the equality (ἰσότηs)of an isosceles (at least 2 equal angles & 2 equal sides) triangle.
Conclusion:
Conclusion:
I told you at the beginning of this message that it wouldn’t have much new information, but it does provide clear reminders that must be obeyed if we are to reflect Christ.
The fullness of the Spirit and the fullness of the Word are needed in the home. If family members are controlled by the Spirit of God and the Word of God, they will be joyful, thankful, and submissive—and they will have little trouble getting along with each other. Christian employers and employees will treat each other fairly if they are filled with the Spirit and the Word.
The heart of every problem is the problem of the heart, and only God’s Spirit and God’s Word can change and control the heart.
Can the people who live with you detect that you are filled with the Spirit and the Word?[ii]
[i] Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 144.
[ii] Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 145.