Relationships in the Kingdom

17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:17–20 ESV

Jesus CLEARLY preached the inspiration and authority of Scripture. If I’m going to follow Jesus, then I need to believe what He preached.

To believe and receive Jesus as my Savior means that I have to believe and receive what He taught about Scripture.He said in John 10, “Scripture cannot be broken.”

Luke 16:17

Luke 16:17 ESV

17 But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one dot of the Law to become void.

When faced by Satan’s temptations, it was the truth and authority of the Old Testament that He referred to, when He said “It is written, it is written, it is written over and over again.

Jesus says, “not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished”

In other words, the OT still serves as the authoritative guide for testimony and teaching - some elements of it like sacrifices and other parts of the ceremonial law would be accomplished by Jesus’ ministry - they aren’t the models for Christian behavior any longer.

When Jesus says “Until all is accomplished,” He’s pointing to His fulfillment of specific OT hopes through his life, death, and resurrection - then more fully when He comes the second time. He didn’t abolish the OT….He fulfilled it.

ALL Scripture is preeminent - meaning it’s ALL superior.

Jesus had to correct an interpretation problem.

Now we must interpret the law through JESUS

He begins dealing with false interpretation and application of the OT

Faulty interpretations lead to faulty applications

The Pharisees and other religious leaders took pride in OUTWARD CONFORMITY to the law, but they still had IMPURE HEARTS

Jesus tells us that in the kingdom, righteousness works from the inside out because it PRODUCES CHANGED HEARTS AND NEW MOTIVATIONS

Romans 6:17

Romans 6:17 ESV

17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed,

Hebrews 8:10

Hebrews 8:10 ESV

10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Now our changed hearts and new motivations make our actual conduct EXCEED the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees.

It’s a different kind and quality of righteousness that Jesus calls His followers to.Pharisees and scribes motivation -> “Look at me” (pride and arrogance)

A believers motivation should be -> “I love Jesus and He loves me and out of that love, I just want to please Him.” (Not obligation, not to just follow the rules - it’s love motivated)

Love for God, love for other people

In Verses 21-48, Jesus corrects NOT the Old Testament writings - but the interpretation of it

He explains that His teaching went BEYOND what the Ten Commandments and the Torah said. Jesus showed the true intent of God’s Law.

To TRULY keep the law, the people could not get by with lip service or just obeying the letter of the law alone - Jesus teaches how to APPLY the law into our attitudes and motives. It’s impossible to keep the law without a RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!

The commandments are about relationships -they deal with our relationship with God and our relationships with other people.

Anger

Matthew 5:21-26

Matthew 5:21–26 ESV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

A. God issued this relationship commandment to protect the sanctity of life

v. 22 - “you fool”

We could probably think of a lot worse names to call people than “you fool”

It’s not the words, it’s the attitude

It’s treating people as though they are worthless, a nobody

Let’s talk for a second about anger in general

Anger is an emotion, it is not a sin

Jesus became angry at two things: 1. Religious People 2. People who abused others (those who treat people as less than them)

Ephesians 4:26

Ephesians 4:26 ESV

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

B. It’s what you do with anger that makes it a sin or not

EX: Electricity harnessed is wonderful. Lightning is deadly

Lauren’s uncle was a power lineman for years. Electrocuted repairing a line.

When reading the 10 commandments, you might say: “I’d never kill somebody.” I believe that - looking at this crowd, there’s nobody here that I’m worried about you killing me or somebody else right now. But do you tear others down out of your anger? Do you get so heated in arguments that you lose your top, say hurtful things, and use your words to inflict wounds in others? That’s what Jesus is talking about here.

C. We exhibit anger passively and aggressively

Passively

The silent treatment

No resolution attempt

Plotting revenge

2. Aggressively

Words/tones of voice

EX. “I said my peace and then it was over.” Well it was over for you. Just because it’s quick and over doesn’t meant that it doesn’t cause a lot of destruction. When you do that, it’s like dropping a bomb - you just utterly destroyed that relationship.

How to deal with your anger:

Become SLOW to anger

1 Corinthians 13:5

1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV

5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

You have to train yourself to not react with anger.

“Slow to speak, quick to hear, slow to become angry.”

You need the Holy Spirit’s help!

Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit

Galatians 5:16

Galatians 5:16 ESV

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

2. Stop taking revenge

Romans 12:19 ESV

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

It is not your job to set everybody straight for every mean thing they’ve ever said or done to you.

We’re going to talk about revenge more in detail next week, because Jesus goes into this issue in this sermon.

But you gotta stop trying to get vengeance for everything that’s been done to you. Let it go and let God handle that person.

3. Renounce anger

Ephesians 4:31

Ephesians 4:31 ESV

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Ask for forgiveness

Actually pray for your anger. Make this declaration over yourself in your prayer time: “Lord, my words are going to be edifying and uplifiting towards others today.

Lust

Exodus 20:14 ESV

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

Matthew 5:27-28

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

A. This is a relationship command to protect the sanctity of marriage

B. Jesus extends this commandment to include our thoughts

TO BE CLEAR: ANY sexual fulfillment outside of the covenant of marriage is sin

This very much includes what we think about

Pornography is a tool of the devil to rip apart families and destroy marriages.

It’s not just married couples who struggle with the devastating affects of pornography addiction

EX. A study conducted showed that the average age of first exposure to pornography is now only 11 years old

As many as 93.2% of boys and 62.1% of girls first see porn before they turn 18

The enemy is after the minds of our children!

HUSBANDS, WIVES: If you want to affair proof your marriage, you must first be committed to a COVENANT RELATIONSHIP

This is why the world doesn’t understand or take marriage seriously - they don’t understand covenant

Just as we have vowed or covenanted with God to serve Him forever, so was His plan that marriage would be forever unbroken

C. When you are in covenant relationship with someone, EVERYTHING you own belongs to them

EX. So when I entered into a holy covenant relationship with Lauren, I gave her the right to everything I own, which includes so much more than just “all my wordly goods” (Which, let’s face it, really isn’t that much for most married couples at the time of their wedding! I was a poor college student with two jobs, a one bedroom apartment, and a manual shift Chevrolet S-10 pickup she couldn’t even drive. She did NOT marry me for my money! It was my rugged good looks.)

Everything I have belongs to Lauren, and that includes my TIME - my WHEREABOUTS AT ALL TIMES (Men, she’s got the right to ask you where on God’s green earth are you going at 10 PM??) - And MY THOUGHT LIFE

D. Adultery happens after people become selfish and cancel their covenant with God and their spouse.

And the consequences are much higher than the enemy wants you to believe:

Physcial consequences of Adultery: Broken homes, broken marriages, broken families, heartache, loss of trust, shame, guilt, etc.

Spiritual Consequences of Adultery:

The blocking of answered prayers

Malachi 2:13–14 MEV

13 This is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying out, because He no longer regards the offering, nor receives it with good will from your hand. 14 Yet you say, “Why?” It is because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

This is a verse to husbands who have been unfaithful to their wives and are wondering why their prayers are not being answered

2. Division in the church

Ephesians 5:3 ESV

3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

This is Paul’s words to the church.

In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul tells the church not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. He says he wasn’t talking about UNBELIEVERS or you’d have to leave this world to avoid people like that. He said “What I meant is that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a Christian but indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or is worshipping idols - “Don’t even eat with such people.” (We’re talking about unrepentant people who profess to be a Christian but aren’t even trying to get rid of sexual immorality.)(

WHY? Because the aftermath that person leaves behind destroys the church. It tears them apart. God wants to protect His church at all cost.

E. God created our bodies to be HOLY and SEPARATE from the curse of sin

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

1 Corinthians 6:19–20 ESV

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

God purchased us from slavery to sin and death through the sacrifice of Jesus. So then, we belong to Him, not to ourselves.

With that in mind, let’s address verses 29 and 30:

Matthew 5:29–30 ESV

29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

To sum it up: JUST DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STOP LUST FROM DESTROYING YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF OTHERS!

DIVORCE

Matthew 5:31–32 ESV

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus CHALLENGED the liberal approach to divorce taken by some rabbis of his day

He upheld the idea of marriage as a lifelong commitment.

Jesus is speaking to men here. “Whoever divorces his wife...” PLEASE READ THESE WORDS CAREFULLY

In the ancient world, divorce and remarriage were WIDELY accepted and practiced.

Jesus points out a law from the OT that His listeners know well.

In Deut. 24 we read, “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds somthing indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house...

The subject of divorce was HOTLY debated among the Jews at this time. It was being taught by religious leaders that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, citing Deut. 24 which I just read.

Jesus says, “I SAY to you” - He does not accept the practice of easy divorce represented in v. 31

Because divorce was so easy to do and widely accepted, God had instituted a regulation through Moses that was intended to uphold the sanctity of marriage and PROTECT women from being divorced for no reason at all.

Jesus WOULD NOT STAND for men tossing aside their wives.

Jesus is prohibiting divorce for all the trivial reasons that were used in the first century, which lead to widespread injustice especially for women whose husbands suddenly divorced them.

Here’s another text in Matthew 19:3-9

Matthew 19:3–9 NKJV

3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

So in response to the Pharisees’ attempt to get Him to sign off on their convenient divorce philosophy, Jesus refuted their position and restated God’s original plan for marriage in Genesis 2:24.

Genesis 2:24 NKJV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Not only did He oppose them with the Word of God, but He also dropped on them a bombshell that God doesn’t recognize a divorce unless there is sexual immorality involved.

Jesus told the Pharisees that their practice of giving certificates of divorce for “just any reason” was a human act without divine approval.

In other words, what they thought was legal divorce and remarriage, God saw as rebellion and adultery.

Also, Jesus reminded the Pharisees that marriage in its essence is NOT a legal union - it is a SPIRITUAL BOND that is created by God. Therefore, marriage is sacred, and anyone who works to separate a marriage except for immorality (also in 1 Cor. 7:15, Paul includes abandonment) is interfering with the work of God and is sinning.

We live in a culture of convenient divorce and disposable relationships - much like in the days of Jesus.

So because of this, many people think man has the legal right to change marriage to his liking with the stroke of a legislative pen. I mean anything that is LEGAL is acceptable…right? NO!

Most of us have grown accustomed to the normality and legal ease of divorce and we’re no longer shocked when people divorce - and we even have many support systems to help people recover from it.

There are victims of divorce who didn’t want it - they need love and care to help them heal

But in nearly every divorce there is at least one person who is sinning against God by violating a holy union. And those people don’t need recovery - they need repentance!

God is not a God of condemnation, but He is a God of absolute truth and He does have eternal standards.

The reason He holds tightly to His standards isn’t because He’s a mean, cold-hearted, legalistic taskmaster - it’s because He is a wise Father who loves His children and reveals His Word to them because He wants us to SUCCEED!

When I trust God and accept His Word - that brings me success

Not trusting HIs Word or rebelling against His Word brings failure. In the case of marriage and divorce, Malachi 2:16 tells us that God hates divorce. He doesn’t hate people who get divorced - He loves those people. He just hates the act of divorce because of the damage it does to the people He loves so much.

The Pharisees were giving in to easy divorce because they thought the Biblical plan of marriage no longer worked. Jesus told them that their hard hearts were the reason it didn’t work for them and stood His ground to defend God’s original and only plan for marriage.

Marriage only works if you submit yourself to the authority of God and make His word the foundation for your marriage and family.

If that’s how you base your relationship with your spouse, you’ll find that it gets better every year and the pleasure, friendship, and intimacy grown when you make marriage a priority and keep it surrendered to God.

Yes, there are problems in marriage, but because of your faith in God and commitment to the marriage, you can work through your problems - which makes your relationship richer and your marriage stronger.

The best marriages aren’t the “happily ever after” type - those don’t exist. The best marriages are made up of two very different people who commit to God and each other and weather the storms of life together with their hearts anchored in their common faith.

If you are an unwilling victim of divorce - I pray God’s healing grace for you and we pray that your future is full of joy.

If you are a child from a divorced family - I know there is pain. God can and WILL heal you and cause you to be able to see marriage through His eyes, and not the pain of your past.

Divorce is a lie from the devil - let’s get rid of it in our everyday language!

Can the church please stop treating divorce like it is the unpardonable sin?

Let’s help restore those who have been affected by divorce

There is hope! There is restoration! Your life isn’t over - God still has a plan for you!

If you’re married now and having problems in your marriage - as your pastor, I want you and your family to succeed - we’ll help you.

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