Sermon Tone Analysis

Overall tone of the sermon

This automated analysis scores the text on the likely presence of emotional, language, and social tones. There are no right or wrong scores; this is just an indication of tones readers or listeners may pick up from the text.
A score of 0.5 or higher indicates the tone is likely present.
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Anger
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Analytical
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Openness
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Conscientiousness
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Extraversion
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Agreeableness
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Emotional Range
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Tone of specific sentences

Tones
Emotion
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Joy
Sadness
Language
Analytical
Confident
Tentative
Social Tendencies
Openness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Emotional Range
Anger
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Memory problems.
How quickly we forget.
SENILITY PRAYER
 
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Everything I really need to know I learned from Noah's Ark:
 
1.
Plan ahead.
It wasn't raining when Noah build the ark.
 
2.
Stay fit.
When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to
   do something Really big.
 
3.
Don't listen to critics.
Do what has to be done.
4.
Build on the high ground.
5.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
6.
Two heads are better than one.
7.
Speed isn't always an advantage.
The cheetahs were on board,
   but so was the snails.
8.
If you can't fight or flee--float.
9.
Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
10.
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
11.
When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and
    complain--shovel!
 
12.
Stay below deck during the storm.
13.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs & the Titanic was
    built by professionals.
14.
If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
16.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat
    than the storm outside.
17.
No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the
    other side.
18.
DON'T MISS THE BOAT !!!!
 
If I say, yes I forgive, but I cannot forget as though the God who twice a day washed all the sands on all the shores of all the world could not wash such memories from my mind, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If the living God who made the tide and washes the shores daily cannot wash away from my mind the caustic remarks, the ugliness, the wrongs in someone else then I haven't even entered into Calvary love.
"While we must always remember that it is our responsibility to proclaim salvation, we must never forget that it is God who saves.
It is God who brings men and women under the sound of the gospel, and it is God who brings them to faith in Christ.
Our evangelistic work is the instrument that He uses for this purpose, but the power that saves is not in the instrument:  it is in the hand of the One who uses the instrument.
We must not at any stage forget that.
For if we forget that it is God's prerogative to give results when the gospel is preached, we shall start to think that it is our responsibility to secure them".
It was his understanding of what I have called a PDI principle that made John Bunyan the great man of God we know him to be.
In his spiritual autobiography he modeled the repentant lifestyle with these comments:
 
   I find to this day 7 abominations in my heart:  1) inclinings to unbelief; 2) suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ manifesteth; 3) a leaning to the works of the law; 4) wanderings and coldness in prayer; 5) to forget to watch for that I pray for; 6) apt to murmur because I have no more, and yet ready to abuse
   what I have; 7) I can do none of these things which God commands me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves; when I do good, evil is present with me.
-- Grace Abounding, From Rebuilding Your Broken World,
      by Gordon MacDonald
 
See:  Rom 7:18-8:2
 
 
YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW
 
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day, that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday
 
Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not pan out the way I thought they would yesterday
So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.
Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
And I reached some of those goals today
So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow
And if tomorrow turns out to be like today
I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
Gerry Retief
Durban South Africa
 
 
Shake It Off and Step Up
------------------------------------
A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule.
The mule fell into the farmer's well.
The farmer heard the mule 'braying' - or - whatever mules do when they fall into wells.
After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving.
Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially, the old mule was hysterical!
But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him.
It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back:  he should shake it off and step up!
This he did, blow after blow.
"Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself.
No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up!
 
You're right!
It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well!
What seemed like it would bury him, actually blessed him.
All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity
 
~* Nothing is as easy as it looks; everything takes longer than you think; if anything can go wrong it will.
~* Murphy was an optimist.
~* A day without a crisis is a total loss.
~* The other line always moves faster.
~* The chance of the bread falling with the peanut butter and jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
~* Inside every large problem is a series of small problems struggling to get out.
~* 90% of everything is crud.
~* Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
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