Motherhood Essentials
Notes
Transcript
Consider this question. What makes a mother a mother? Of course there is the biological aspect. A mother is the person that gives birth to you, but you would probably agree that it goes beyond just a biological connection. Oprah Winfrey once said, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” Oprah said this because she herself does not have any biological children, but she calls the girls in her leadership academy in South Africa her daughters. In Oprah’s words, a mother was someone that nurtured, inspired, and encouraged and that’s exactly what she was doing for those girls. You see Oprah was speaking from experience. While she loved and appreciated her biological mother, it was the famous poet and civil rights activists Maya Angelou that took on this role in her life.
Oprah said, “She was the mother figure for me. You know, my biological mother didn’t have the opportunity to be educated. Being raised in the south, being a domestic worker her whole life, she didn’t have the opportunities that Maya Angelou so fortunately had been exposed to, so my mother couldn’t give me what Maya had. I needed a mother like Maya to mentor me through this whole fame process. And so she was my grounding tool for it all. I mean, I learned my greatest lessons from her. She was my comfort. She was my nurturer. She was my inspiration. She was the person who was saying: “You can do it babe, you can do it.” And she’d say, ‘Take it all the way!” And then she would point to the stars. “Take it all the way! Go all the way. Go all the way.”
I think we would agree this. A mother is someone who is in our corner, that nurtures us, and really inspires us to become the best that we can be. That involves providing encouragement,guidance, and discipline. Now most of us are probably fortunate blessed enough to experience this from our biological mothers, but perhaps for you it was someone else that provided this for you.
This morning, I want to speak to you about motherhood essentials. There’s no cookie cutter program to be a good mother. - No matter what all the internet articles may tell you. Good mothers may have different methodologies. Different ways of providing encouragement. Different ways to inspire their children to be their best. Different ways of discipling their children, but I believe there are some essential characteristics that every good mother should possess.
Now we are not going to be in the book of Judges, but we are going to take a look at a story that took place during the same time period as the book of Judges. So you can turn in your Bibles to the short book of Ruth. We are going to draw some principles about motherhood from a woman named Naomi who was not perfect, but was a good mother nonetheless. And in this story, she was not displaying these essentials of motherhood to her own children, but to her daughters-in-law. Shout out to all the mother in laws, ya’ll get a bad rap but ya’ll alright. So in this story in the book of Ruth motherhood essentials that Naomi displayed.
Those of you that have children, no matter how old, these are some things that you should be looking to provide for the children that God has placed in your care. Perhaps you are a lady listening, and you do not yet have children of your own, maybe you can provide these qualities for a someone who is in need of a mother figure in their life. And guys, don’t tune me out because there is something here that applies to all us as well.
Let’s read together Ruth 1:1-5
In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.
There was a famine in the Judah, so this man Elimelech takes his wife Naomi, and his sons Mahlon and Chilion to the land of Moab. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but they ended up staying . Well Elimelech died, leaving Naomi with her two sons who would assume the roll of caring for their mother. Mahlon and Chilion took wives from the Moabite people named Orpah and Ruth. Well after ten years, Mahlon and Chilion died as well leaving Naomi, Orpah, and Ruth as widows. Now during this time , period being a widow was a dire situation because men were to provide for the family. With no husbands and no sons, these ladies were in trouble.
Well, Naomi heard that God had given food to the people in Judah, so she decided that she would return home. At first her daughters-in-law were set to return with her, but Naomi had another plan. Let’s look at what Naomi told her daughters starting verse Ruth 1:8-9
But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept.
Naomi thought that it would be in the best for Orpah and Ruth to stay there in Moab and find new husbands instead of moving to Judah with their old mother in law. Orpah and Ruth were still young enough that they could return back to their families to be taken care of until they found new husbands. Orpah and Ruth strongly objected this idea, but Naomi further explained why this would be best. Ruth 1:11-13
But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.”
Naomi was older and was most likely not going remarry or have any other children, and even if she did, were they going to wait until her sons were old enough to marry them? No they weren’t. Staying in Moab was going to be the best option, so they would not have to go through the struggles of being a widow.
And here’s the first characteristic from Naomi that I would call a motherhood essential.
I. Selfless Care
I. Selfless Care
Naomi was going through it. Her husband died. Her sons died. She was struggling and poor. As you can imagine, this hardship had a dramatic affect on her life. It completely changed her. When Naomi went back to Judah she changed her name to Mara. Naomi meant pleasant, but Mara means bitter. She claimed that God had dealt very bitterly with her and brought all these bad things into her life. She said that she left Judah full, but she was coming back empty. So we can kind catch the feeling that she was having a bout of depression and was really blaming God for what was happening.But despite her current feelings and circumstances, she was still concerned about what was best for her girls.
She always referred to them as her daughters which indicates they had such a strong relationship that she considered them her own children. I’m sure it would have benefited Naomi to have her daughters stay with her. I’m sure she could have used the emotional support. She could have used their assistance just to survive without a husband. But in her mind, sending them back to their families was going to be the best for them, even though it was not going to be the best for her. It was a self-less act for her to recommend her beloved daughters go back to their families and start over.
I thought this was very interesting in verse Ruth 1:8 Naomi tells the girls to return to their mother’s house.
But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me.
That’s just very unusual. Most of the time people would say your father’s house because the father would be the one who would care and provide for them until they were married. But Naomi tells them to return to their mothers. It seems that Naomi understood the value that a mother had in the life of her daughters, and she did not feel that she was in a place where she could provide that for Orpah and Ruth. In her mind, she had no thing to offer them. She wanted them to just move on with their life, get guidance from their mothers, get married, have children, not be stuck trying to take care of their mother-in-law. She believed this would provide the best outcome for them.
I believe that this selfless attitude is an essential of being a mother. A good mother should always be looking out for the best interest of her children even if it’s not the best for her. When you enter into motherhood it’s really a life of self-sacrifice. At times your children are going to make your life difficult. They will inconvenience you. Your going to spend countless hours pouring your life into them helping them develop into adulthood all because you love them so much. And the thanks you get? The kid grows up, moves away, and calls you once a week. Tough gig.
That’s why some of you moms may be the opposite of Naomi. I’ve witnessed instances where mom’s just never wanted to let their children go, and those people just were never able to develop into the adults that God called them to because momma just wants to keep her kids with her.
Don’t be that mom. I know you love your children, and I’m sure that its your desire that your children are always close by where you can see them often and be part of their daily lives. But don’t cause a problem if your child gets a scholarship to a school out of state or gets offered a job somewhere else. I know it hurts when they leave, I know you will miss them, but don’t hold your children back just because you want to have them around. In the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, one of the marks of true love is that it seeks not its own. Love your children. Seek their best interest not just your own. Even though it was going to hurt, Naomi was willing to let her daughters go if it was best for them.
Transition: Speaking of love, here’s the second essential of motherhood that we see from Naomi
II. Love worth following
II. Love worth following
While Naomi selflessly, wanted the girls to stay in Moab. They did not want to leave Naomi. Oprah and Ruth absolutely adored her. It was breaking their hear that Naomi was saying they should part ways. Eventually, Orpah reluctantly decided to go back home to her family, but the Bible says that Ruth clung to her. Naomi still thought that it would be best for Ruth to remain in Moab, so she continually pressed Ruth not to come with her, but it led to Ruth’s famous statement of loyalty. Ruth 1:16-18
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.
Ruth was going to follow Naomi wherever she went. She knew that she would might been giving up the opportunity to remarry and have children because she was going to a foreign land that would probably look down on her. She was willing to leave behind her family and friends in Moab. She was willing to leave the worship of the Moabite gods and follow the God of Israel. Naomi’s love toward Ruth inspired a loyalty in her that she could not bear to break. In fact, in the final verses in the book. The ladies in the city note that Ruth’s love for Naomi was more than the love of seven sons. Ruth understood that Naomi genuinely loved and cared for her, and she could not afford to let that go.
Now keep in mind this a time with no cars, no airplanes, no internet, no facetime. So if Ruth stayed behind, it was likely that she would not see Naomi again. I’d say that to say that if your children grow up and move away, that doesn’t mean that you did not have a love worth following. Different time period, you can still have a relationship with them. If Ruth left, their relationship was basically over.
So when I say a love worth following, I’m not talking about in a physical sense like here in the Bible where Ruth had to physically stay by her side to have a relationship with her. But are you a mother worth following in the sense that your children want to be like you. Are you someone that aspire to be like when the grow up. Do they want to take on some of your qualities. Your love toward your children should make your children think that I need to learn everything I can from this woman while I have her because I’m not going to get this anywhere else.
Ruth felt that the love and care the Naomi had shown toward her she was not going to find anywhere else, not even from her own family or another husband. So she went with her.
Well, if you a familiar with this story, you know what happens next. Naomi and Ruth move to Bethlehem. Ruth begins gleaning in the field of this man Boaz. Gleaning was basically like a welfare system for the poor during this time where the people that owned land would allow the poor to pick up scraps from the outskirts of their crops.
Well Boaz took notice of Ruth and learned about all the she had done in leaving her family and taking care of her mother-in-law. Boaz treated Ruth very kindly, lettering her harvest more than just scraps, promising her protection in his fields, and even allowing her to sit and it eat with his servants. When Ruth returns home with all of this food, Naomi inquires where she has been working all day. When Naomi realizes that she has been working in Boaz’s field, she reveals to Ruth that Boaz is a close relative. Someone that would be considered to be a redeemer.
Now the law of redeemers during their time period went something like this. A close male relative could act on the behalf of a relative who was in danger, need, or deceased. This person would rescue or redeem his family members property and persons to make sure that they were care for and the families legacy would continue. It was common that when a woman’s husband died, she would be redeemed by a close relative, and their first son would be the heir of the deceased husbands legacy. In this case, if Boaz would take the responsibility of the redeemer and marry Ruth, it would give Naomi an heir to carry on their family name.
Needless to say, the prospect of having a redeemer to carry on her husbands legacy piqued Naomi’s interest. Boaz was not just a nice guy. He was a nice guy that was rich, godly, and well respected in the community. For the first time at the end of chapter 2, Naomi praises God instead of blaming God for her problems. She encouraged that Ruth continued to glean in Boaz’s field. So for the next two months, Ruth did as her mother-in-law suggested and gleaned from Boaz’s fields. The Bible doesn’t tell us how the next two-months went, but you romantics can let your imagination run wild. Maybe Ruth and Boaz had more of these lunch meetings, maybe they joked around and laughed as they frolicked in the barely fields. I don’t know. Have fun with it. Make it the Bible’s version of the Notebook. Which I’ve never seen, it’s just like every romantics favorite movie. I’m not interested. If there are no random explosions in the movie, I’m probably not watching. Anyway, things seem to have been going well for Ruth in Boaz’s field.
After these two months, Naomi thinks it’s time that Ruth and Boaz take their relationship to the next level. Let’s read together Ruth 3:1-6
Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not seek rest for you, that it may be well with you? Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” And she replied, “All that you say I will do.”
So she went down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had commanded her.
So Naomi suggests that Ruth get dolled up and catch Boaz at a time when he was alone. She told Ruth that when Boaz went to sleep, she was to uncover his feet, lie down, and wait for Boaz’s instructions. Now to us this might seem like strange instructions. Much of the phraseology here suggests that Naomi was telling Ruth to try to seduce Boaz so that he would be inclined to marry her. It seems that Boaz himself was even confused about what was going on at the beginning. But Ruth explains that this act was not to incite some sexual encounter. This act was to gauge Boaz’s interest in becoming the family redeemer, marrying Ruth, and providing for her, and protecting her.
Well Boaz agrees to be their families redeemer. There was one kinsman who was in line to be the families redeemer before him, but when he turned down the opportunity, Boaz willingly stepped up and took the responsibility of being the redeemer, and married Ruth. Cute story.
Now switching our attention back to Naomi and essentials of motherhood, here’s the third essential we can pick up through this story
III. Life changing advice
III. Life changing advice
Through this whole process, Naomi was there coaching Ruth about how to handle the situation with Boaz. Had Naomi advised Ruth to keep building the relationship with Boaz by gleaning in his field and making the bold move of coming to Boaz that night, this story may not have had the same ending. While Naomi was not the main character, she was influential in the outcome.
One of the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman is that “She opens her mouth with wisdom.” Mothers godly wisdom is something that your children desperately need from you.
Keep in mind. Your advice may not always be appreciated. Especially in situations like Ruth, when it comes to your children’s love life. It worked out for Naomi and Ruth, but I remember some of the girls that my mom would suggest to me, and I would be like EW no. Come one Mom.
Sometimes your kids will be like MOM stay out of my life! But even if they say that, your children need you in their life. I can recall my mom saying, “You don’t want to hear this, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” Your kids may not agree with your opinion on everything, but if you can provide Scripturally based principles and guidance, especially in critical decisions, it can change the course of their life. As a mother, you have a special bond with your child, and even if your advice is not appreciated, or followed, it’s always considered.
Without Naomi, Ruth and Boaz doesn’t happen. It’s essential that your children receive guidance and advice from your perspective, life experiences, and most importantly God’s Word.
Transition: Now there’s one last thing I want to point out as an essential of motherhood. Let’s read Ruth 4:13-15
So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.”
Here is the final thing I want to point out this morning as an essential of motherhood.
IV. Stories that glorify God
IV. Stories that glorify God
It’s interesting that the book is titled Ruth, but this story is just as much about Naomi as it is about Ruth. When Boaz and Ruth had a child, the women in Bethlehem praised God that Naomi now had an heir to her family’s name. After all that Naomi had been through,the death of her husband and sons, living in poverty, and the time of heartache and depression that came along with it, her story was ultimately one that illustrated that God still cared for his people.
And maybe you have not been through a time as traumatic as Naomi, but mothers, it’s essential that you can share testimonies with your children that show how God has cared for your throughout your days. Be able to articulate to your children that even though you have been through some hard times, God is still good. Use your life story to glorify that others will hear of it and praise His name.
Selfless care, love worth following, life changing advice, and stories that glorify God are all essentials that your children need from you as a mother. But let me tie this together and give us another application for those of us that are not mothers.
These same things are essential for every follower of Christ as we make disciples. Is this not what Ruth’s declaration said in Ruth 1:16
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.
We might say that Ruth was telling her that she was going to be her disciple. She was going to follow her as she followed her God.
As we seek to make disciples these same essentials are needed. We need to show selfless care. It takes our time and energy to effectively make disciples. We are going to have to sacrifice of ourselves as week seek to help others grow in their walk with God. We will have to show a genuine love toward those that we are discipling that makes them want to follow you as you follow Christ. We have to be able to give them wisdom from God’s Word to help them through their life. And we need to be able to share testimonies that will point those that we are discipling to Christ. You see these things are are essentials for disciples as well.
We could say that being a mother is being called into a lifetime of discipleship. So mother’s I want to challenge you to keep this in mind and never forget that as a mother, God has placed your children into your life to nurture, encourage, counsel, and disciple for the entirety of your lives.
For the rest of us, we need to keep these things in mind as we make disciples of all people.
Maybe you are listening this morning and you don’t know Jesus. Let me tell you. God has selfless care for you. He loves you so much that he sent His only Son Jesus to give His life to pay for your sins. Jesus wants to be your guide through this life. But you must place your trust in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the only means for salvation. Now if you would like to know more about this. If you want clarity about your relationship with God, please send us a message on facebook and we would love to share with you more about what it means to have a relationship with God.