A Positive Influence

I will be reusing and updating a message that I have preached a couple of time previously. In our very early years of ministry here, I shared this message. And I looked at my records and saw that I had preached this message on our daughter Lydia’s dedication Sunday, which was a Mother’s Day. So, you can tell how much I have appreciated my dear wife’s influence upon our children. And my heart goes out to those who grew up without a mother’s influence in your life. That is often where aunts, grandmas, even siblings may have had a great influence on your life. In addition, we don’t want to minimize women in the church who don’t have children of their own, because they also have an incredible influence if they choose to be used by God.

As I am obviously not a mother, nor do I feel qualified to give any maternal advice or wisdom, it would be wisest if I just sat down and had you all hug your mothers or wives or the one who has filled the role of mother. Well, actually, while I talk a little bit now, go ahead and do that. For those who have lost their mothers due to death or some other tragedy, take some time to reflect that she was able to give you life, so that today you can serve the Lord.

Often, my messages have tended to focus on those biblical mothers that stand out as great examples. However, many mothers have shared how they felt very inadequate and almost depressed after looking at them. For example, Mary, the mother of our Savior, is seen as submissive, willing, and righteous. The Bible doesn’t share with us those days when she was totally exasperated with Jesus’s half-brothers later on in the family routine.

Or we have considered Samuel’s mother, who, after praying so diligently for a child, finally received an answer in Samuel’s birth. Instead of keeping him home and doting on him, she is portrayed as the mother who sacrificed her desires when she gave him up to serve the Lord. Yet, we don’t have any information shared in the Bible about those who may have thought she was out of her mind or even of her own self-doubts.

I’m not stating that any of these things actually happened, but I have a feeling that they may have, given that these women were just as human as you mothers are.

As we look a little further into the Scriptures, we are introduced to mothers who were used mightily by God, and who actually were seen struggling with their own sin and humanity. Today, I’m going to take some time to look at the mother of Solomon, Bathsheba. She was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. However, she models the thought that I want to share with all of you mothers who are listening.

A mother can be a positive influence when she allows God to use her.

Pain Can Enable One to Be a Positive Influence. - 2 Samuel 11

Nobody enjoys pain. In fact, the one allergy I do have is pain. However, it has been said that pain can be an excellent teacher in life.

It was common practice and was expected that kings would go out with their troops when they went to war if they were capable of doing so physically. However, on this particular occasion, we read that David had decided to stay in Jerusalem and chill.

One evening, (there must not have been any games on his cable channel), King David decided to go on a walk after supper. To set the scene a little more, we must understand that it was common practice for those individuals who were wealthy and were able to afford a bath in their house, that they would take a bath after the evening meal. As a mercenary, Uriah, the Hittite, was most likely one of those wealthy individuals. Now a mercenary is simply a professional soldier. In other words, he was a hired warrior. Now back to the evening, where we are told that Bathsheba was bathing. Looking at historical and archaeological discussions about this, most all of them state that she was not really open and visible to the general public.

However, David did see her. David further made the mistake of gazing upon her as the text suggests. We can even glean this from the description of her being beautiful in appearance. Gazing amongst humans is like grazing is to livestock. It’s almost like a picture of David standing and looking, then pondering in his mind without a lot of thought to the end results or consequences. Based on the entirety of the story, we are safe to assume that David lusted, checked her out, then she consented to sleeping with David.

At this point, you and I remember the rest of the story. God, in His sovereignty, caused Bathsheba to become pregnant. Sadly, David attempted to make the pregnancy look like it was caused by her husband. So he had Uriah brought to Jerusalem in hopes that her husband would sleep with her. Here, we see that Uriah was actually a more honorable man than David, causing David’s plot to not work. Then David proceeded to have this honorable and faithful and heroic soldier murdered in the battle, just so he could have Bathsheba as his own wife.

This is a tragic and sad story; not only because of the adulterous relationship and the murder and deception, but because Bathsheba was also going to suffer the loss of this child whom she carried for nine months before giving birth.

At this point, you’re probably looking at one another at home and wondering what am I trying to bring out on this Mother’s Day. Namely, that Bathsheba was quite human and extremely vulnerable. She wasn’t at all the perfect Mother’s Day role model. Or was she? She experienced the struggles in real-time and wasn’t always successful. She yielded to temptation. After all, what an honor it must have been to have been requested by the King because of your beauty. Now I recognize that not every woman experiences this sort of temptation, but each one can recognize their own battles and know what it’s like to sometimes fail the test. Many will recall when they made a decision that they deeply regretted, wishing they could have retracted that decision.

Consider again that God could very easily have prevented Bathsheba from becoming pregnant. Everything could have been quite discreet and nobody would have been the wiser. Yet, if God would have kept this under wraps, neither Bathsheba nor David would have learned anything through this. Sadly, it was necessary for Bathsheba to experience the pain that is caused by sin.

She also knew what it was like to carry that guilt and pain in her heart. Think about living with the following facts that are unchangeable. She committed adultery, though she knew it was wrong. Her husband was killed in battle because of her choices to sin and his choice to behave in a righteous manner. Then she gets married to the man who is the father of her child, though not the husband at conception. That is a lot of emotional baggage to carry. Then she loses her child to death. Most mothers know what it is to carry pain in their hearts, even though it may not be as intense as Bathsheba’s.

Please understand, that not all pain which we experience is a direct result of our own personal sin. However, pain is a result of the effects of man’s fall and our sin nature. Sometimes, when a mother experiences severe pain through no fault of her own, she is more able to empathize with others. She is more able to place her hurt before the Lord because she knows she is incapable of dealing with it alone. Sometimes, pain enables a mother to be able to teach truths to her children and others that she could not otherwise have taught.

Pain in a life can be a positive influence when a mother is used by God.

Confession Can Enable One to Be a Positive Influence. - 2 Samuel 12:24-25

Lest you are worried that we’ll leave Bathsheba in pain and torment of soul, let’s look a little later in her life. The Bible tells us that Bathsheba later gave birth to Solomon. The last part of verse 24, the Bible says, Now the Lord loved him . . . We see here an amazing example of God’s grace. We know that God will not tolerate sin; it must be punished. But when we recall the repentance that David expressed earlier, as well as the famous Psalm 51, we see another glorious truth from God’s Word. When God forgives, He chooses not to remember any longer. He will not hold our past against us.

Mothers, when there are times that you lose control, remember that God is waiting and willing to forgive. When a tragedy comes across your path, remember that God has a blessing waiting for you in His perfect timing. Our children learn volumes when they hear either parent say, I’m sorry. Or when they hear from either parent, Will you forgive me? They also learn a great deal when they ask for our forgiveness and we genuinely give them forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness means that we will choose not to bring it up again to remind each other of our shortcomings. We will not hold over one another previous sin.

I am even more convinced that a mother can be a positive influence when used by God.

So far, we’ve seen that Bathsheba was quite human in her inability to deal with the temptation to sin. We see that she experienced the gamut of human emotions; from ecstasy of being with the king, to the guilt of hiding a secret sin, to the pain of losing her baby, back up to the unspeakable joy on the arrival of Solomon.

Next, we want to take a look behind the curtain and see what God did with Bathsheba in all of this, later in life.

Learning from God Can Enable One to Be a Positive Influence. - Proverbs 31

This proverb is said to have been written by King Lemuel. However, we can’t find in the records a King Lemuel in Judah or Israel. Neither was there any list or records found of this name in the surrounding nations. However, most scholars believe that this proverb was indeed written by King Solomon, suggesting that Bathsheba gave this name Lemuel, to her son, Solomon. Though we cannot find any proof of this, I’d like to assume that Bathsheba most likely gave these teachings to Solomon through her training of Him. And of course, we cannot forget the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in this process.

When one thinks of what Bathsheba went through, it is logical to assume that she spent a great deal of time instructing her son. My friends, the world will never fully know the powerful influence a God-honoring mother has on her children. Solomon is known as the wisest of men who ever lived. The Lord gave him this special wisdom. And I believe part of the application of his wisdom was given by his mother.

Rather than focusing on the first part of this proverb, I’m going to look at verses 10 and following. This section is what describes the virtuous woman or a wife of noble character. It is actually written in the Hebrew as an acrostic poem. Each verse begins with one of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

As you already know, I would be in agreement with a lot of scholars who suggest that this could be Solomon writing about his mother, Bathsheba. Without taking a lot of time, let’s look at what God has done in Bathsheba’s life.

She is full of energy and dignity regarding the affairs of the home. There is no price tag that can be put upon her. When I think about it, I am pretty thankful that I didn’t have to come up with a dowry that would compensate for my marrying Jannita. Husbands and children, consider how priceless your wives and mothers are in so many ways.

This woman is also a positive influence. Even though the family may be poor financially, they lack no good thing because of the relationship of the wife to the husband. Her deepest delight is in service lovingly given to her family. Laziness is not part of her vocabulary. My friends, when we serve because of duty, it can become drudgery and not joyful. This can be the same with the church as we serve Jesus Christ. When we serve out of love, there is great joy in being a servant. When we do it out of duty, it is merely a chore.

The woman in Proverbs 31 does not waste her talents and energies by simply storing them for herself. She invests not only her talents, but whatever is necessary to build up her family’s lot in life.

Her very being is clothed with strength and dignity. We, too, must be clothed with truth and righteousness. This enables us to do what is before us with great joy. She is also ever watchful, making certain that the evil one will not infiltrate her home. Mothers, you must always be on the alert. Satan would love to take our young ones and your husband into his service. You need to continually model and tell of the grace of our Lord. You need to make it obvious that your priorities are first of all with the home. If you dare place anything besides the Lord and your spouse above the children, we are doomed as a nation and as witnesses for Christ. Likewise, we do not place the children above the Lord or our spouse.

As we look over this proverb, I find myself amazed at the remarkable pilgrimage of Bathsheba. She could have very easily led a horrible life of sin after her affair with King David. She could have become quite bitter at the loss of her illegitimate child. She could have become quite hardened and angry towards God. Instead, we see sensitivity. She was open to God and His instruction. Yes, she experienced a great deal of heartache in her life. Yet God used her as a positive influence in Solomon’s life, and quite possibly, in her husband, King David’s life.

Conclusion

We come now to the last two verses of Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31:30–31 NASB95

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Solomon was probably told about the affair of his father and mother. He probably was aware that Bathsheba, who with her striking beauty, captivated King David, recognized that beauty was like a vapor. In other words, you cannot keep beauty forever. Look again at the last part of verse 30: But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Then read back at verse 28:

Proverbs 31:28–29 NASB95

Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”

You see, a mother can be a positive influence when used by God.

Praise God that He can take us just as we are and make someone beautiful for His glory. Praise God for others who have learned spiritual lessons and passed them down to us and prayed for us. Children, rise up and bless your mother. Husbands, let your wife know that you value her more than anything on this earth as God’s gift to you.

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