Song of Songs: God's love displayed in marriage
Notes
Transcript
What is the best love song ever?
What is the best love song ever?
Popular love songs have a way of expressing the sentiments that we may or may not be able to express. If you could go back over all of the love songs that have been recorded in audio form or on paper, what songs would you rank as some of the best? If we were together, I’d ask you to call out a few. I can’t see the posts right now but feel free to chime in on the Facebook Feed with some of your suggestions.
The folks at Billboard made a list of their top 50 love songs. Now, one of their criteria was that the song had “love” in the title. (https://www.billboard.com/articles/list/6792625/top-50-love-songs-of-all-time). Their suggestions include modern songs and classics. Here are just a few of their songs.
Baby Love, by the Supremes (1964)- #49
Part time lover, by Stevie Wonder (1985) - #47
You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, The Everly Brothers (1965) - #45
The Power of Love, made popular by Celine Dion (1994) - #40
a different The Power of Love, by Huey Lewis and the News (1985) - #36
I Want to know what love is, by Foreigner (80s?) - #31
I Think I love you by the Partridge family (1970) - #27
I Can’t Stop Lovin’ You, Ray Charles (1962) - #10
I will always love you, Whitney Houston (1992) - #6 - spent 14 weeks as #1 that year
How Deep is your love, The Bee Gees (1977) - #4
Of course I’m skipping over many for the sake of time, and even if I listed them all, I’d probably miss your favorites - I know none of my favorites made the list. But according the Billboard, the number one song is...
Endless Love, by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie (1981) - #1
In some ways, you could say that according to this list, “Endless Love” is the “song of songs” - it’s the best or most popular.
If we were to go back and analyze the lyrics and sentiments of these songs, some would resonate with the way that we feel or have felt toward someone. Others would make us blush at their explicit content.
Today, we’re going to return to our study of God’s Story in Scripture - a look at all of the books of the Bible and the story that God is telling through them. We began in August considering the Bible as a whole and then the Old Testament’s grand message. In the weeks between then and now, we have covered over half of the old testament, considering God’s creative work in the beginning, his work in the nation of Israel through their formation, exodus, chaos, monarchy and exile.
Several weeks ago, we completed the historically based books and ventured into the wisdom books. These wisdom books seem to take the truths that are lived out nationally in the historical narrative and personalize them. In Job we considered the role of suffering and the sovereignty of God. In Psalms we got to learn some songs for every season of life. In Proverbs we considered practical lessons for daily life. In Ecclesiastes we learned that life seems meaningless when our only perspective is “life under the sun” but that there is great meaning and purpose when we consider the One who exists beyond the sun and His plan and work in our lives.
As we return to God’s Story in Scripture, we are considering the last of the wisdom books, the Song of Songs. In some ways, the Song of Songs is a bit like some of the songs that we considered a few moments ago. You see, it gets its title in part because it’s a collection of songs or poems. It also get’s it’s title as Song of Songs in some translations (Song of Solomon in others), because it’s the best of songs - like King of kings, and Lord of lords. If Endless Love is the popular song of songs, then this song is truly THE song of songs.
Before we dive into its content, let’s consider...
A little background
A little background
The Song of Songs has been fraught with challenges over the centuries. The song is often attributed to Solomon because of its wisdom nature and the comments in the first verse of the song:
The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.
Where the ESV says “which is Solomon’s” others have translated that as “of” Solomon - suggesting that it is written in the vein or in the type of Solomon’s other literature. Some have even suggested that this was written by a woman - which would have been unheard of in that day and age. Solomon is credited with writing some 3000 Proverbs and over 1000 songs. It’s quite possible that this is one.
Beyond simply the authorship, one of the other things we need to consider is its role in Scripture. You see, early on in its inclusion in the OT canon, religious leaders refused to allow young men to read it until they were at least 30. The content can make people blush. People have often wondered why God allowed it to be included in scripture. This has caused people to look at it from several different points of view or interpret it with different lenses.
One such lens is an allegorical lens.
Song of Songs as Allegory
Song of Songs as Allegory
This was the most popular in both Jewish and in Christian circles for centuries. Jewish scholars interpreted it as an allegory of God’s love for His people. For Christians, the allegorical interpretation has led people to consider Christ’s love for the church in text of the song. One of the challenges of interpreting it this way is that there is no real clarity as to what in the allegory means what. It would be easy to see God and Jesus as the “beloved” and Israel or the church as the “loved,” but the rest of the details are so physical that it makes applying the allegory rather fuzzy.
For our purposes today, we will get to some allegorical elements, but this won’t be the lens we take.
Another lens that people have used is...
Song of Songs as Drama
Song of Songs as Drama
This lens looks at the song as a two-character drama of two lovers - following them through their courtship which leads to their marriage and then their ongoing love for each other. Some have suggested that the main characters in the drama are Solomon and one of his wives - with a handful of insertions from some friends.
Others have suggested a three-character drama where the characters are a woman who is in Solomon’s haram and her unfailing love for a shepherd boy. Solomon in this case plays a sort of villain - which is inconsistent with the rest of scripture.
The fact that there is not real clarity in the plot of the drama and its details, suggest that the drama may not be the best lens to use. In addition to that, there is not a precedent in that era of literature - which would suggest that we are applying our own experiences back on the text, rather than allowing the text to speak for itself.
Another lens that people have taken is the one that we’ll use today, that is...
Song of Songs as Love Poetry
Song of Songs as Love Poetry
One of the things that seems to come up time and again in reading and understanding scripture is how to interpret and apply it. Many of my seminary professors and the other preachers that I listen to suggest that the “simple” or “plain” reading of Scripture - when possible, is often the best - so that’s the approach we’ll take.
The guys from the Bible Project seem to have it correct when they suggest that there is no real rhyme or reason or structure to the meandering nature of the poetry in the Song. There is not even a real clear end - because love never ends.
So today, as we consider this book, we’re going to briefly consider what it says, but also what it says in light of the rest of Scripture. While Song of Songs is a unique and independent book, the fact that God has inspired it and led people to include it in the canon of scripture help us to interpret and apply this beautiful and uncomfortable book.
So before we dive into the book, let me just say a brief word about its content. This is clearly a book of words between lovers. The Song talks explicitly about their affection and admiration for one another. There will be some elements of this that may cause some of us to feel uncomfortable. There will be some ways in which I’m uncomfortable talking about this - but it is in the Word of God and in His Sovereignty He has blessed us with this book for a reason.
There is evidence to suggest that the lovers in this book are married - there is even discussion of the wedding procession - Song 3:6-11. So as we look at this love song, we’re going to consider it from the vantage point of married love and the bible’s perspective and instruction for marriage relationships. If you’re not yet married, I hope this will give you something to look forward to. If you are married, I hope this discussion will enrich the intimacy you share with your spouse. I do recognize that some of you may be not be married - whether by choice, by circumstance, maybe even simply because God has blessed you with singleness - whether or not that is your desire - I hope that this discussion becomes an informative resource for you as you both seek to live in faithful obedience to God but also as you disciple those that God has placed around you.
So as we look at the Song of Songs, we’re going to consider a bit of God’s love displayed in the marriage relationship. Throughout the book, you’ll notice several places where our English word “love” is used. As in many cases in Greek, our word for love insufficiently describes what’s happening. Here in the song the writer uses three different Hebrew words for love. All of the uses of love in this book deal with the more affectionate or emotional elements. Since love is what is used in the ESV, we’ll use that for our consideration today as we reflect on romantic love.
Let’s consider some love lessons that we can learn from this Song.
First of all...
Love is pleasurable - a gift from God
Love is pleasurable - a gift from God
I think this is in in part why this book is in the Bible. Over the centuries, there have been numerous people who have seen pleasure as sin. These people might say that “if it feels good, it must be wrong.”
Song of Songs is dripping with words of delight and pleasure.
The song even opens with these words:
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;
At one time the chorus or the friends seem to chime in toward the couple:
“Eat friends, drink, and be drunk with love” Song 5:1b
As you consider the overall tenor of the book, there is a great deal of pleasure and delight that the lovers take in each other. I think that God made the sexual elements of our relationship pleasurable for a reason. Husbands and wives get the joy of delighting and enjoying each other. In fact, one of the things that you’ll notice is that there is no mention of children. The intimate elements of the book are for pleasure.
Near the close of the book, as the woman speaks, she talks about the strength of love.
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Some suggest that the closing phrase of this verse, which is the only reference to God in the book, connotes His endorsement of the pleasures of marital love . The fact that this book is in the canon of scripture also suggests God’s endorsement of this kind of affectionate and pleasurable love in marriage.
In addition to seeing that love is God’s pleasurable gift for us, we see in the Song that...
Love is other-focused
Love is other-focused
When it comes to romance - so often the radio station that we’re tuning into is WIIFM - What’s in it for me. Our intention can be to only please ourselves in this relationship. Our society is filled with things that cheapen love and make it selfishly motivated.
But even this erotic and sensual love that we see in the Song is focused on the other and on delighting in the other. Sure there are pleasures that each one enjoys, but it begins with a look toward each other.
Consider some of his words toward her:
I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots.
Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.
He continues in another part...
Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves.
As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.
He sees her as unique and special and delightful. Throughout the book, his descriptions of her body are filled with metaphors that were meaningful to them. His words seem to communicate his sheer delight in her.
He is not the only one who speaks this way. In Song 1:16a she says...
“Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.”
They seem to want to serve and please each other. Throughout the Song you’ll notice that they also reflect on how this pleasure is pleasing for themselves, but they are focused on each other.
The next thing we see in the Song is that...
Love is heard and understood
Love is heard and understood
Some time ago, Danielle and I were talking about people who give good gifts. They give these gifts because they are good listeners. We see a little bit of this listening in the Song.
Look at how she sees herself:
I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!
She describes herself as dark or black. The tents of Kedar were made with black wool. It seems that her background is in the fields and her skin shows the darkness that comes from working outside. In some cultures, this is seen as a curse. Some cultures see lighter skin as blessed and darker skin as cursed because of the nature of their work and station in life. We might see this as the difference between a white collar worker whose skin is constantly sheltered from the sun and a “red neck” or agricultural worker whose skin is constantly touched by the sun. This is not a statement of race - both the man and the woman here are Middle Eastern - likely both with some variation of an olive skin tone. She is simply sun-kissed. While their society might not have liked that, he delighted in it.
We have already seen that he sees her as beautiful and unique, but he appreciates the details of her physical features.
Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing, all of which bear twins, and not one among them has lost its young.
Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil.
Your neck is like the tower of David, built in rows of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.
He goes on, but for the sake of modesty, I’ll pause here. His metaphors don’t seem to make much sense to us. In fact, if you try to draw a picture with your mind, this might not seem like a beautiful description to us, but I think it was meaningful to them - especially to her.
A bit later on, he summarizes his opinion of her in this way:
You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.
I think the whole point is that whatever insecurities she may have felt about her station in life and her origin, he heard her and understood. His admiration took away any ground for her to feel insecure in that way with him.
Men - let me just talk to you for a moment. Society wants to paint men as insensitive, selfish and ignorant. That is not the way that God has called us to be. Listen carefully to your wife or girlfriend or any friend. Listen, not just to the words, but to the meaning. It likely means that you’ll have to turn off the TV or put down the book or the game. Hear her, understand her, and then communicate in a way that lets her know you that you heard.
One of the other pictures that we get to see over and over again in the song is images of the garden. There are certainly many overtones in the images, but one thought that comes up is the garden of Eden. You see Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, naked and unashamed. The lovers in Song of Songs seem to have this same sort of shame-less view of each other. Hearing and understanding each other can help to alleviate any shame that may be felt between spouses.
We could unpack this more, but that’s for another sermon and another text.
In the Song of Songs, we also get to see that...
Love is reserved
Love is reserved
When we read through scripture, it’s important to pay attention to patterns and phrases that are repeated. For example, one of the repeated phrases that we see in the book is state three different times. In fact it shows up in 2:7; 3:5; and 8:4
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.
So what is the appropriate time? When is the time right? Marriage.
Let me illustrate what I mean by this and what I think Scripture intends.
Before Danielle and I got married, we put together a wedding registry. We went to different stores and marked on paper some of the things that we thought would work in our home. This is before the world of scanners. We chose linens, towels, small appliances and much more. We also chose two sets different sets of table settings. One for every day, common use and one for special occasions. You might say, that is the fine china. You see, we don’t eat on that every day, we reserve it for special occasions, for certain times - because it’s special and more valuable than our every day place settings.
In much the same way, the full pleasures of love - sexual pleasures, are reserved for marriage - that sacred and special time. I know this goes completely against what our society is encouraging. It goes completely against what is taught in school. But in God’s masterful plan, he reserved sex for the covenant of marriage.
Just as we have common place settings, we have common interactions with most people - but our most intimate interactions are reserved for the one to whom we are married.
God reserves this for the covenant of marriage because He knows that is where we are most vulnerable. He is not trying to keep us from enjoying good things in life, He simply wants us to enjoy these good, special, and intimate things in their proper context. He knows what is best for us.
Because He knows what is best, He gave us guidelines in His Word.
When we considered the OT law, the moral laws were quite clear that any sexual relationship outside of the bond of marriage was forbidden.
In the New Testament, the the writers talk both about fornication (premarital sex) and adultery (extramarital sex).
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,
nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
In addition to the admonition in the Song to wait for the appropriate time, there are other phrases that the Song used to describe a someone who is sexually pure before marriage:
He refers to his lover at one point as “a garden locked” (4:12).
In God’s sovereignty and wisdom has reserved sexual relations for the security of a marriage covenant. I believe he did this for our flourishing or blessing and for His glory.
So let’s look for a moment at
God’s grand love song
God’s grand love song
His Grand love song is the Gospel. Let me explain what I mean by that...
God is holy and pure. He is all good and just. He created us and all that we see because he chose to, because he wanted to, because He loved to.
In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve initially delighted in God, but eventually chose to break fellowship with God through their sinful rebellion. That rebellion has marred all of humanity. That sinful rebellion has created an environment in which we all live as rebels. God set up multiple covenants that were sealed by sacrifices over the years as a means of both committing himself to humanity and redeeming humanity from our sinful rebellion.
In the Garden - he killed an animal and made coverings for Adam and Eve - who were naked and ashamed.
With Abraham - God had Abraham kill some animals and cut them in half - God passed through them and covenanted to give Abraham and his descendents the land of Canaan (Gen. 15).
With Abraham - God promised to make Abraham the father of many nations - this covenant was not sealed with a sacrifice of animals, but with circumcision.
With Moses - God set up the sacrificial system as a means of the people for Israel to remain in a right relationship with God.
Through all of these, God was faithful to his covenant, but His people were rebellious.
Ultimately, God sent his Son, Jesus, into the world and entered into a new covenant with humanity. This new covenant was not forged with the sacrificial blood of animals, but with the blood of His Son - as he died on the cross. Jesus then sealed that covenant with his resurrection from the grave. When he did that, he invited humanity into a relationship with him - individually as we repent of our sin, and corporately as the church - also known as the bride of Christ.
Our time on Earth now is preparation for the time when our Groom will complete our heavenly dwelling and He will come for us. There will be a great wedding feast for those who are sealed by this covenant. There will be an ultimate consummation.
When we started this series, we discussed the “C’s” of history. We started with 7 that we got from Answers in Genesis and added a few more along the way. In our “C’s” of history, we call the final C - Consummation (Creation, Corruption, Catastrophe, Confusion, Christ, Cross, Consummation). We often use the word consummation to refer to the initial act of sexual intercourse that seals a marriage. That word is also used to signify the point at which something is completed (dictionary.com). So our consummation with Christ is the time when he will have fully sanctified us, preparing us to dwell with him for eternity.
We are in a holy betrothal or engagement preparing for an eternity with Him.
Our marriages are a picture of the Gospel. Our marriages are a picture of God’s love for us as husbands seek to love their wives sacrificially as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25-33) and wives receive the love of their husbands and respond with respect (Eph. 5:23).
We could discuss so much more about this, but I hope you can see how God’s love is displayed in marriage - how God’s love is displayed for us in the song of Songs.
God loves us for who we are.
He accepts us for who we are - even if we feel that we are unlovely and unworthy.
God protects us (there is one point in the Song of Songs where some people call for the woman to come out so they can look at her, and the man defends and protects her by saying: “Why should you look upon the Shulammite, as upon a dance before two armies?” (Song 6:13).
God is committed to us for eternity.
Final thoughts
Final thoughts
Song of Songs or Song of Solomon is a beautiful and profound book. It’s a book that is designed to help us be the husband or wife that God has called us to be. It’s a book that is designed to help us to fully enjoy the spouse that God has blessed us with. It’s a book that helps us understand the romantic side of love. You see, romantic love is...
a pleasurable gift from God
other-focused
hearing and understanding
reserved for the covenant of marriage
Application Points:
Application Points:
There are so many things that we can draw from this. In mentioning these, I’m only raising a few.
For the married - consider the way that the lovers relate to one another. Notice how they talk to and about each other. Notice how they delight in one another. Delight in the spouse that God has given you. Model a God’s love for us as you love each other.
For the Young and Not Yet Married - look forward to the day when God will bless you with a spouse to enjoy this love with - but don’t spoil it beforehand. Be like a locked garden or a wall. Reserve yourself for your spouse.
For those who are not yet married but are sexually active - I would urge you to repent. Seek God’s forgiveness and return to a life that is in good standing with Him. I know this is difficult to hear and maybe even more difficult to live out - but by God’s grace I believe He can help you. Your marriage down the road will be way better because of it. It is for your protection that God designed it this way.
For those who are formerly married - If God calls you to be married again - reserve yourself for that time. In the mean time, instruct those around you in God’s expectations for our romantic relationships.
Finally, for those who are not in a relationship with God yet - I pray that you will understand and receive God’s love for you. Think about it like this. When a man and woman are dating and moving toward engagement - they spend time together, they get to know each other, there might even be some wooing. The man will often save up a great sum of money to invest in a ring as pledge of his love. He will present this precious gift to the woman he loves as an invitation into a more permanent and lasting relationship - into a marriage.
It is much the same with God. From the time you were born, God has been doing various things to draw you into a relationship with you. He has presented His creation in order for you to see a glimpse of His creativity and splendor. He has given you His Word as a means of helping you understand him more clearly, giving a sort of roadmap for life. He has also given his Spirit as a means of further drawing you to himself - helping you become aware of his holiness and your sinfulness. But God gave his most precious gift as a pledge, an eternal promise. He gave his Son Jesus Christ to pay the price for your sin and mine. He is presenting before you eternal life, abundant life. Will you respond? Will you receive this free gift, this eternal promise by repenting of your sin and trusting in the finished work of what Jesus did on the cross.
If you would like to discuss this more, please don’t hesitate to reach out over email - pastor@poolesvillebaptist.com or leave a note in the stream.
Trip Lee, a Christian rap artist and pastor said recently that in all of God’s creative work, the Gospel is his signature piece - it is his best work of art, it is ultimately and eternally His song of songs.
Let’s pray
Resources:
Craigie, Peter C., The Old Testament: It’s Background, Growth, and Content (Abington, Nashville, 1987)
Dever, Mark, The Message of the Old Testament: Promises Made, (Crossway, Wheaton, 2006)
Longman III, Tremper; Raymond B. Dillard; An Introduction to the Old Testament, 2nd Ed. (Zondervan, Grand Rapids, 2006)