Declaration of Dependence

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears however measured or far away.

WALDEN

1. Our ability to help people is related to our relationship with God. There may be ways that we can be helpful in the lives of others but real help and transformation comes from God alone.

2. Our relationship with God means more to Him than anything that we can do for Him. He has established the desire to know us and for us to know Him as the #1 priority to be demonstrated in our lives.

q Jesus is our pattern. Only one - even the apostles were not on a par with him. There is deliverance in no other name and if that is the only name that you have then that alone is enough.

q For the purpose of making a copy. Farther away from the original you get the greater the difference. No copies of copies please.

THE DISCIPLE

He that hath a gospel,

To loose upon mankind,

Though he serve it utterly---

Body, soul and mind---

Though he go to Calvary

Daily for it's gain---

It is his disciple

Shall make his labor vain.

He that hath a Gospel,

For all earth to own---

Though he etch it on the steel,

Or carve it on the stone---

Not to be misdoubted

Through the after-days---

It is His Disciple

Shall read it many ways.

It is His Disciple

(Ere those bones are dust)

Who shall change the Charter

Who split the trust---

Amplify distinctions,

Rationalise the Claim,

Preaching that the Master

Would have done the same.

It is His Disciple

Who shall tell us how

Much the Master would have scrapped

Had he lived till now---

What he would have modified

Of what he said before---

It is His Disciple

Shall do this and more ......

He that hath a Gospel

Whereby heaven is won

(Carpenter or Cameleer,

Or Maya's dreaming son),

Many swords shall pierce Him,

Mingling blood with gall;

But His Own Disciple

Shall wound Him worst of all!

Thoreau

3. The spirit with which we serve makes all the difference in the world with regard to then outcome. Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe – Do everything without complaining and arguing . . . .

4. If we are to honor God’s priorities then there will be times when we will disappoint people. There will be times when we will have to turn our backs on the legitimate needs of others and ultimately that will be misunderstood.

5. It is our own ego that often flatters us to respond to people’s needs and leads us to wear ourselves out in the process.

6. I believe that God has called us to a relationship with him that would define life here in this world as something to be sought after – not to be shunned. Christians who personally experience the fullness of God’s presence awaken a hunger in others to know Him as well.

HOW TO HANDLE STRESS:

Use your Mastercard to pay off your Visa

Make a list of things that you've already done.

Drive to work in reverse.

Bill your doctor for your time spent in the waiting room.

Stare at your boss through the tines of a fork and pretend he's in jail.

Make up a language and ask for directions in downtown Miami or L.A.

Fill out your tax form in roman numerals.

A QUOTE FOR YOUR LEADERSHIP QUIVER - He who is most slow in making a promise is the most faithful in its performance. Rousseau

Have you noticed how many people fail to keep the commitments they make? It happens with business associates, clients, customers, suppliers, subcontractors, and even with friends engaged in purely social things. Too many people are late for appointments, don't follow through on promises made, and are unconcerned with deadlines. What's going on with these people? Are you a victim of this kind of behavior or possibly guilty of doing it yourself?

Understanding some of the things that drive these unproductive and relationship-destroying actions is a step toward making and keeping solid commitments. The first three reasons listed below are legitimate; the others are the result of a lack of competency, personality short suits and character flaws which make keeping commitments more difficult.

OPPOSING PRIORITIES When you ask someone to do something and they commit to doing it, make sure the agreement includes a common understanding of the urgency and immediacy of the task involved. Each person has his own set of priorities as to what is most important or urgent. Unfortunately, these differences are not often discussed and clarified and

they should be. Here is an example: “It is important to me that you complete the painting by 4:00 PM next Thursday. Will you be able to meet that deadline?”

VAGUENESS Some people use indirect communication, usually driven by some level of fear. They fail to directly say what they want and don’t take steps to ensure that there is a common meeting of the minds. They couch their request so that they do not appear to be demanding. The direct approach: “Will you give me a ride home?” The indirect approach: “My car broke down and I’m wondering how can I get home today after work?” The indirect approach is manipulative. It is far better to say what you want and run the risk of a “no.”

MISUNDERSTANDING Sometimes the meanings of words are not crisp. “ASAP” means different things to different people. To a schedule-driven type A, it may mean within the next five minutes. To an easy-going creative type, it can mean sometime today. Eliminate this problem by being clear on what you mean and, if there is any doubt, ask the other person to paraphrase your request.

Now, with the above three points, we've covered the main positive, reasonable, and acceptable reasons for not honoring commitments. The seven that follow are not acceptable, but all too common.

INEFFECTIVE TIME INITIATIVE Some people make commitments with the best of intentions toward keeping them, but then something always gets in the way -- a previous assignment takes longer than planned; they didn't allow enough time to get there; they had to do just a little bit more before leaving the office. It is likely that we've all fallen into the time traps. A big one is the inability to say “no” when asked to take on more than you can realistically handle. These time traps and others are seductive because they are based on the motivation to get more done in less time. However, the final result is the other person is inconvenienced and your stress level increases.

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS Some people have grown up in homes where others took up the slack. They have grown to expect it from those around them. People having unrealistic expectations of others are unfortunate because they probably won’t get the very feedback they need to change. Those impacted by the person’s unrealistic juvenile behaviors tend to withdraw from the person, get the work done, and thus reinforce a life-long pattern.

PROCRASTINATION Some people act like born procrastinators. No matter how little or how much they have to do, they always come up with reasons for avoiding taking action. You are unfortunate if you have to deal with a committed procrastinator. The best strategy for dealing with them is follow up, follow up, and follow up. If you are a procrastinator and want to break this negative behavior, try everyday for 90 days to select the most unpleasant, difficult, high-priority task from your list and do it first. You will discover that to a large extent during this time period you have substituted a new timely behavior for your old procrastinating behavior. You will feel better about yourself and enjoy your work more!

IRRESPONSIBILITY Being responsible is a learned character trait that some people never master. This character trait is so weak in some adults that they are incapable of honoring their commitments. They were have never taught as children to be responsible and most likely had irresponsible parents as role models. Building the character trait of responsibility is a long, hard climb. It often begins with the mastery of the most simple tasks and continues, sometimes agonizingly slowly, towards responsible adulthood.

EGO Some people have the view that others owe them a certain level of deference by virtue of their position, intelligence or wealth. These people think that your concerns are not as important as theirs. When they fail to keep a commitment, they believe it's not important in their slanted picture of things. The best way to deal with these people is to assertively check their intent. When it happens, ask them, “Is your intent to ignore the commitments you have made when you have something to you to do that you consider more important?” Keep pushing and force them to declare their intent. If it is clear their intent is to always keep the options open and not honor commitments, avoid them if you can. Their inflated sense of ego pretty much guarantees that they won't be receptive to your suggestions for growing in commitment and trust.

MANIPULATION There are people whose consciences have declined to a point where they have no intention of keeping their commitments. They commit only to stringing you along, getting a little more out of you, and then moving on to the next unwary victim. You don't need these people in your life. Assertively distance yourself from them.

How to Join the Coronary Club: Membership Requirements

1. Never say No to a request ‑ always say YES.

2. Your job comes first; personal considerations are secondary.

3. Accept all invitations to meetings, banquets, committees, etc.

4. Go to the office evenings, Saturdays, Sundays and holidays.

5. Golf, bowling and hobbies are a waste of time.

6. It is a poor policy to take all the vacation time which is provided to you.

7. Never delegate responsibility to others; carry the whole load at all times.

8. Do not eat a restful, relaxing meal ‑ always plan a conference for the dinner hour.

9. If your work calls for traveling ‑ work all day and drive all night to make your appointment for the next morning.

10. Fishing and hunting are a waste of time and money ‑ you never bring back enough fish or game to justify the expense.

11. Take the briefcase home on the evenings when you do not go to the office. This provides an opportunity to review completely all the troubles and worries of the day.

Misbelief in being Indispensable

1. I am the Called One and the anointing to help and direct others is upon me alone.

2. I've got something special and unique from the Lord that nobody else has. It's up to me to deliver my revelation to the world.

3. Nobody else can do the job I do as well as I.

4. No matter what time of day or night it may be, I must always make myself available to meet all the needs of all others.

5. Jesus expects me to give up all my rights to privacy, rest and recreation if I am to serve Him fully.

6. In order to serve God with my whole heart, I must put my family second to my ministry.

7. I've given my children to the Lord so that the Holy Spirit can teach and guide them because I have no time to do this in my life as a Christian worker.

8. God has called me to help certain people. If it weren't for me they would be in pitiful shape.

9. It's my Christian duty to provide all the answers and solutions to the people God has called me to help. If I don't, consequences are on my head.

10. Others should recognize my calling and be of help and support me in the work God has called me to do.

11. If someone is less spiritual than I, they have NO right being in the ministry; furthermore they have no right to be more succesful than I.

Are you believing any of these lies? If you are you can change your unhappy situation. You can tell yourself the truth.