The Problem of Sex & Pleasure of Sex

1st Corinthians chapter 6 beginning verse 20 we're going to make her way into chapter 7, but before we get into that just some things to keep in mind here this morning is I first and foremost who is Paul writing to this morning and there's a very obvious and kind of Elementary answer and that is his writing to the church at Corinth and that is absolutely one hundred percent correct, but this church at Corinth in as he's writing to them because tsums rightfully so that they are a group of people gathered under the name of Jesus because they are followers and lovers of Jesus and early on key routes them in their new identity of Jesus Christ. That's in those first chapters where he talks about your love and your in Christ. And this is this morning what we have to keep in mind when we consider Who is Paul writing to the second question we ask ourselves is why is Paul even bothering to write this church a letter and he's given us some Clues up to this point early on. He said I heard some things in your church for really messed up and all of us are kind of like perfect. We understand that in Corinth. There was division that there was issues if there was problems and that there was people getting drunk at Communion and going to the temples and eating meats and partaking in this Pagan sexual ethic and all sorts of other dilemmas and problems. And so tall is writing to address a lot of the problems in their church and just so you know those problems are a lot of the same problems that we see today. I mean if God was going to write a letter a new one. He doesn't have to he already did and we're receiving it and listening to it. Also apologize writing cuz they had just some questions Paul. Should we marry should we not marry Paul? What's up with what happens if I marry an unbeliever, Jesus didn't didn't talk about that in the gospel. We have to understand the audience receiving it we also have to take into account for ourselves. Are we followers and lovers of Jesus? Are we continuing to hold on to our own autonomy and individuality and saying my way not your way? And Paul is riding and he's really posing this ultimate question that we seek him up again. And again and again Lord. Am I going to put myself underneath of you and what you have said or their areas, but I say, you know, what a lot of what you say is great but concerning for instance like today sex and sexuality. Why don't I just can't hold on to my ideas or what culture says is okay. The Paul every finished this out is addressing this topic of sex and we have to tackle it. Once again. I know three weeks in a row some of your complaining and some of your like whoo. Whoo. Alright, let's get after this this morning and what we see in here is he is declaring he is declaring that within the context of marriage beautiful way but a couple communicates non-verbally this idea that I am naked bear and holy We expose ourselves in a way that you don't expose yourself in any other facets. Can you stand before somebody naked in marriage and then unashamed and it's a way of not only communicating I'm physically yours, but I'm wholly yours emotionally mentally. I'm connected to you and God gives us this beautiful gift of sex for us to enjoy and the ways in which God determined that it would be best handled and this idea of sexual thinner. This reality of sexual sin. Is this constant expression that Humanity uses to continue to answer the surface question, but did God really say Come on Brad's we're progressed. It's two thousand years later post. Jesus come on, cuz these words of Paul really be applicable to us. And it's just a constant barrage of words that come out of some culture that question does God's way really is it the best way living matter if we follow after him in this intersexuality and our culture we are continually saying yes or no, we're going to listen to what God has to say on this is a here is what Paul says, I'm one of the most detailed account of a sexual ethic in the New Testament. He says all things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I won't be dominated by anything. Who does meant for the stomach and the stomach for food? This is the currency in saying this to him, you know, Paul. Hey with an appetite. Is it sexuality? Just listen to last week. He goes on and says God will destroy both one and the other the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and for the Lord for the body got a raise the Lord and we'll also raised us up by his power. Do you not know that you are bodies are members of Christ shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members were prostitute never or do you not know that he was joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her but has written the two will become one flesh. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him flee from sexual immorality every other sin a person commits outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sends against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple Of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God you are not your own for you were bought with a price to glorify God in your body then in chapter 7 not concerning the matter is about what you wrote. It is good for a man not have sexual relations with a woman but because of Temptation to sexual immorality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband the husband she give you his wife her conjugal rights and likewise wife to her husband or the wife does not have authority over her own body. But the husband does likewise then the husband does not have authority over his own body. But the wife does do not deprive one another except for perhaps four agreement for a limited time. You need to devote yourselves to prayer but then come together again that Satan may attempt you did your lack of self-control and jump over 2 verses 36 through 38. Anyone thinks that he's not behaving improperly toward his betrothed Des passions are strong and it has to be let him do as he wishes let them marry it is no sin. Where is firmly establishing his heart when they're no necessity but having a desire to control asthma terminate his heart to keep resin patrols. He will do well. So then he who marries betrothed does. Well, he who refrains from Marriage will do even better if there's two prevailing thoughts in our world today and they were the two prevailing thoughts in the world that Paul was writing to so we see once again nothing's really new Under the Sun. And the first is this idea that sex will make me whole it'll make me complete. It'll fulfill me. It'll satisfy me. It'll make me really truly what it mean to be human than the other is if they had in that culture was sex or the lack thereof will make me holey. Don't make me holey. It's a Paul has to tackle these two issues. With the Corinthians and we looked at them last week for some foremost. We had the pagans food and deified sex who worships test would use sex as a way to even worship the gods and goddesses that they wanted to sacrifice and given to in the go to the temple prostitute sex with all over their culture. And then you have this thought that came in that will if that's what the pagans do who was used to come really prudish and not have any sex whatsoever and Paul's like most guys. Okay, we need to talk about this and handle it in a way. But I'll show you what God has for sex and we look at our own culture that is incredibly sexually promiscuous where it's actually celebrated and touted. It's on every TV show and reality show all over our culture in this idea that you will find yourself through your sexual experiences. It'll complete you and make you whole is a live being packaged and wrapped up real nice and sold to each and every person what happens is either way. We sort of make sex or the lack thereof this way of Salvation before to be whole become this form of idolatry in our lives ever since the fall. We've seen sexual perversion and sexual sin. One of the ways that idolatry is very visibly Express. Here's the problem with idolatry when you even take a good thing and make it a God thing. It'll be a thing that Rex you or I. Poetry promise everything but I'll give you nothing lasting and check this out in the end. It takes everything you give to it. You see that you serve as you become a slave to it. And if he promises you fulfillment home is salvation. Hope that's why we turn to a tweet think this Idol this dog this thing job this power this money this sexual strength. Phil and satisfy me. It'll give me what my heart longs for and it promises are so much but in the end it take everything from us and today in our world that sexual Revolution that we didn't just witnessed in the sixties, but had this Rebirth of free love and Define what love means we thought that we finally be free. But the reality is it's created this fantasy world that runs against the grain of the world that God created and what Paul says here is oh absolutely. You're free. All things are lawful to me, but not all things are beneficial to me. Not all things are going to build me up. Not all things are good for me and what he specially saying is you think it's excuse me. You think you own it and you can just park taking it but in the end it ends up owning you. What you to process this is any kind of addiction not just a sexual addiction today addiction to spending money addiction to power addiction to Authority addiction to sexuality to pornography and we can go down the list of addiction that people have any time somebody sets out if heartaches and something to think I've got a handle on it. I can choose it and do it whenever I feel like it would inevitably happens if we felt like we once had a handle on it didn't begin to control a no Notch. It called are named rather clean up when we need it and calling its name pic called us and we become enslaved to a compulsive you're not free dear friend. Those of you who have to go home and get on the computer and eBay and buy something though that you got to get on the computer and look at something those if you have to have some side dish that you partaken to make your marriage actually work. You're not free. You're a slave to the very sins that are destroying and Wrecking and ruining you.

Do you like it? You sent that that's not Freedom your owned by it and you're stuck in this rut. And you fly the banner that I'm so free. But really you're a slave can we look at this idea today a good sex and bad sex. We see outside of marriage particularly any kind of sexual perversion is taking place is sexual sin. We're not actually free were owned by it. And here's one of the problems like what's wrong with sex outside of marriage you never committed to each other and we care for one another and makes you lonelier. It makes you lonelier when we miss you sex, it works backwards and it wants you to remember that this morning and what we think is if I just get close to somebody with intimacy your intimate way, then we'll be connected with one another but here's what we forget being intimate or having sex doesn't equate to intimacy. It does not it will not be intimate sex without Covenant is a way to retain freedom without commitment. That is what our culture has bought into. This is the idolatry that we serve. We think you know what I want to give part of myself to somebody. I want you physically give myself to somebody but the problem is I don't want to give my whole self to somebody if I give part of myself physically to somebody but I withhold the emotional side I was hold that spiritual side of conversation in the Lord's and that mental side of holding backs. I don't want to be committed to somebody you will not feel closer. You ultimately become lonelier. One of the reasons for that we see is as idolatry for single people. That's it. I want sex but I want freedom. I don't want anybody to possess me. I don't like commitments, but I want to belong to somebody else. I don't want to have to make decisions together, but I certainly want this physical aspects. And what you see in that is the absolute need for Freedom until you go outside of sex or sitting outside of marriage for sex because well, I need to have some physical connection creates this barrier and you don't get closer. You become lonelier. And what you're worshipping is Independence. It works against you there. Can't be the closeness you when you live together and pretend to be married. Are they just married in your pants? That's all you are. You're not really married. That's okay April. It's funny. We can laugh here this morning. Account on her account on there right there.

I mean if you're not a Christian in here like it's just two bodies rubbing up on each other. What's so wrong with that? Why can't we do that? Why is that such a killjoy God is not a killjoy. God gave you this beautiful wonderful gift of sex, but he says when you don't use it in the way that I've called you to use it. It's going to create loneliness. You're going to get this alternate. Idea thing formed from it rather than what I actually intended for you to have in it because physical commitment without total commitment leaves you empty in the end. Leading you're chasing experiences and feelings. Comes from a book. I'm reading by Dallas Willard and he says the body should be cherished and properly cared for not as our Master. However, but as a servant of God from most people on the other hand their body governs our life and that's the problem. We have to have feeling and it needs to be deep and sustained but if we are not living the great drama of goodness in God's kingdom sensuality through the body is all that is left under our kingdom there for the body becomes the primary place a pleasure for the person who doesn't honestly interactive live before God they turn to their body in order to get some sort of feeling to get some sensation to be lifted up because bodily enjoyment is what they want. They turn to those passions and got abandoned them Romans 1:2 those passions to their sensual desires. That'll give us the greatest kick. And the sensuality can never be satisfied. It is self-limiting. Can we pursue this it actually hinders us it works against us and this is partly because the effect of engaging in the practice of sensuality is to deaden feeling you're aroused you're excited that other words that culture uses for what I'm talking about and I won't say them and you think I got to handle this I got to deal with your walking up. That's what stall planta to deaden it to take care of it to handle it in order to what how to go back down and then to have those feelings arise again. This drive is rooted in basic human nature, but it's a Relentless drive to be pleased and it's a fleeting feeling when we go outside of what God has for us. We go outside of a God house for us. It's trains us to either see people as objects for a personal gratification.

When you look around and you see others do you see them as a whole person or do you see them as an object your personal gratification honor or manipulation? How do I know I walk you through this attitude of Honor you belong to God when you look at other people you think that attitude the manipulation you exist to serve me. Attitude of Honor You're Made In God's image attitude manipulation. You're an object for my pleasure attitude of Honor. I give without expecting a return attitude of manipulation. I give to get what I want from you dear husband doing the dishes after a long day. Sometimes has a lot of manipulation at the end of it. Doesn't it? Like Instagram baby. Look what I did for you. I did the dishes. I put some cologne on I took a shower. All right. We're talking about some of that stuff. There is some good in that. However, when we do things to get something becomes manipulation. Rather than actual service that says I don't need anything from you to be fulfilled or complete attitudes of Honor. I want you to be successful out of the manipulation. I need you to make me happy your spouse your significant other there will crumble under the pressure If you see I need you to make me happy attitude of honor. God is giving you to make me like him attitude of manipulation. You're the problem. You're the problem anytime a couple comes into my office and they're having marital problems and ask him. What's the biggest problem the second they start talking about the other person like, oh goodness. We can be along not because there are no a lot of work back to them him to realize that there is a problem that is pointing the finger at the other person. Last one here. I'll love you. Even if you don't respond with love. That's an attitude of honor and a data manipulation. I'll love you as long as it works My Love Changes you if you was saying here to follow Christ means your touch him as Master. He has changed you he is ruler. He is owner of you and then What flows from your acts of love because of what God has done in your life. You can look at another person and say it's not because I need something from you. I have to have something from you. I actually have something to give you and when it comes to sex, this is incredibly real incredibly true. If you say I want to give my whole self to you. I want to show you that I do long to you therefore to uncover outside of Covenant marriage and partake in that you're saying something you can veins something but it's not actually fully true because you're withholding. You're not United and Covenants Jewel relationship before God. The process of your body it was intended. It was intended not just to fulfill sexual desires before the kingdom of God is three poses this question. Do you not know who owns you? You are not your own you didn't make you if anything mommy and daddy did think about it. Okay, or don't I try not to

think about it. Your own and in the gospel the good news of Jesus in the says, you've been bought with a price you didn't earn your way there. You didn't get there you didn't please him. He is done this all for you, but you've heard this I should have the right to make these decisions for myself my body I should have to live in it how I want, but do you know that there's going to come on who's going to judge the actions you done with your body chunky turn that around with a knob Bass. Christian is going to judge you because I'll tell you what, I didn't use my body the best way honest Lee we share some of that a few weeks ago. Listen, what are we going to do? If there's a God who loves us and he resurrected his body has the power to resurrect your body. I don't think I want to say my body my choice. I want to say my body your choice your choice and I want to come underneath of what you say not because you're a killjoy. You're the one who created sex. Let me tell you the garden scene didn't go like this. He makes man out of the dirt and take the woman from the side and they Gods like s***. I'm hungry. I get a ham sandwich and then comes back. He's like, oh my goodness. I didn't know what those parts that you would do that. night play some Beres. No, he said they were naked and unashamed in the garden. God gave in this wonderful gift to connect to United to be one with another it's a beautiful thing when we go outside of what God has for us it brings death inside us. What I want to do that we talked about the pleasure of sex. Yay, right so fun her mom. And then I want to tie a bow on this because what happens is if we hear this first part and we're like, oh my goodness. I have missed use this gift that God has given me at some point in my life. I done or brats there any help for me and he restore and he making new and he do something. So so we're going to come back on that. The first I want to talk about this idea of what sex is for carne had a couple of weeks have gone bad and gone wrong and it was at the recap that hears this idea. God gave us sex to enjoy Tell the Corinthian ask this question to Paul we've heard it said that it's not good to touch a woman. What do you think? We're pretty holy and he goes what? No, that's not what God Said. God didn't do that for you. How do you read The Song of Solomon that is not a relationship between you and Jesus that is a relationship between a man and a woman who love one another and you read in that relationship is actually the woman who speaks first who speaks most and who speaks and verb like do this. I like that. All right, so we get this idea coming from the Song of Solomon that it is an incredibly sexual book and got is portraying this beautiful relationship between a husband and a wife in an intimate marriage that their dad have with one another. He's not saying you're really really really holy if you don't sleep together when you're married what he does say is anything outside of marriage don't do anything outside of marriage. Don't do it. It'll make you lonelier to Rock You on the inside.

Aztec God has given us concerning sexuality but it says once you're married to give the command you better do it. Amen you better do it because there's so much in Morality around you let you be tempted let you be tempted to go outside Covenant of marriage if I fail your desires, then Paul says something revolutionary now, If you grew up in church if I heard this before. Or maybe you hate church. And this is one of our arguments Paul is just as always demeaning woman women always putting them down always having these rules and all this authority over them. He present absolutely revolutionary idea here after having said you belong to God he then looked at the husband and says your body is not your excuse me, her body's not around she belongs to you which would have been a very common thought process in that day in Asian culture wife viewed as property treated like property bought like property, but then he says something incredible. He says, oh husband your body is not your own belongs to your wife. I don't think we get the gravity of what's going on. Their jobs would have been dropped that would have been so counterculture alternate to what Society was preaching and teaching in that day. And unfortunately, this passage has been used by male authority to say whenever just demanded ask for it. And if she doesn't she's in the wrong. If you've been taught that I'm sorry. It's been a misuse and abuse of scripture in that passage. That is not what Paula saying if you say the White 2 has authority over a his body not just her body. This passage is teaching it in marriage. We're not to be possessive over our body. So how does this work when it says husbands your wife sort of your body and it says not to deprive yourself. He says you to do your mirror marital Duty and you say yes ma'am reporting for Duty like I'm sure great. Sounds fantastic. You know what I want my wife to desire me absolutely want her to desire me. I want her to look at me and when I'm up here and go. Yep, I like him. I want him I desire him and I want to fulfill that in her life. My body is not my own baby. It is all yours. But the husband's body doesn't belong to him. What does that mean when you come home and she says the guys need to cuddle. I don't think men you do the cuddle thing. Trust me. Can you rub my back baby after this Sunday? Yeah, because my body is not my own if you're asking me to use these hands to rub your back. Absolutely. I'm going to rub your back. I'm going to hold your hand. I'm going to brush your hair. I'm going to talk to you. I'm going to be your friend because that's what I need to do. In marriage. I'm getting my whole self to you. Not just a physical part of myself. What is this mean mean when I got married to my wife? She told me that she doesn't like a man with one eyebrow, so she got the tweezers out. And they're so stinking painful. I cry every time especially when she does the high area. The sensitive skin down there. It's the worst but my baby my body is not my own if this makes you happy, I'm going to serve you. I'm going to love you. I'm going to care for you and I shower later. Okay, we're going not going to stink. We can get gold out some of it but it's it's true. We're so selfish myself a sinner to forget this.

And there's physical and emotional barriers that happen. So when I say her body is not our own and my body is not my own that I have authority over and she has authority over that also means you have to walk through some problems. This not talked to numerous couples men and women both may be sexually abused in their past.

You don't have the right then just kind of like give it to me now. Maybe you think you do. But your body is not your own either belongs to her. Maybe the needs to be some conversations. I know Christians who were taught as we even talked about it last week of dirty sex is dirty. That's all you hear your whole life and you get married in your life, Texas still kind of dirty and I don't like it that were through that husbands and wives who betrayed one another * I can make having sex together incredibly difficult. They were called to Tour through this problems or maybe there's confidence issues or stress issues or can't perform issues or women have had issues with health or mental issues with health that make sex painful and then you feel ashamed if you want to treat or please your partner and you cannot and I don't live in some Ideal World that assume that none of this exists yet all continues to stay and share that look your body is not your own and to avoid sexual immorality. You actually need to come together to talk about these things and some of you need to go see a counselor. Not your pastor how much you need to go see a doctor and not your pastor because some of those issues need to be handled in other Realms because we're holistic bean and we can't just fake pray about it take communion all the sudden you should be in the fact later that day not how it works. We need some help in these areas because of past Brokenness. Really love your spouse care for them. You're going to not manipulate them, but you're going to care for them and treat them as your own body number for presence is incredibly important not present. What you going to Christmas presents. Solomon says in the Song of Solomon to tend the garden. Wednesday night we went down and some friends and play Bingo and I'm sitting there and I was 5th May on the end table man out and everybody else is having conversation. And then this like 65 year old girl looks over at me and one of the guys there was telling me he finished the mighty stuff for me. So I was starting to look at a different time with my family. I didn't tell my work done. I wanted to look at this anyways, and his lady looks at me and she goes You kids and your phone's house like you first of all, I didn't know that you were invited into this conversation right now. I'm having myself in my phone also like you don't know what's going on here. But how old are you? I'm like, I'm 36, but you're too old to be on your phone at 7:30 at night and I'm like She's very nice by the way, very nice. But crazy and and so should I be here today invited her so we had this conversation and and my phone down and we started talking and then like ends up her and I actually taught in the conference together back in 2005. We have some like she could you print Anderson. I know you don't like, oh my goodness. I've never had spent and killed me though. So I'm watching and for the next 30-40 minutes her daughter just keep sharing pictures on their phones to each other. character traits

white shirt presents we are being crowded out with tyranny of the urgency and was urgent right now in our minds is actually not even her tits. And the problem is we don't practice presents well, and if you don't practice presents, well, we either going to grow in your garden men women weeds are going to grow in the garden. You don't take time to actually be before somebody and talk with somebody about our relationship and specifically a marital relationship. You were pretty and disastrous situation where you truly view the other person what they can give to you for what you can give to them and if we don't begin to recapture the idea of what it means to be present with one another it's going to be a massive detriment to our marriage has honestly I will come home from a long day of work and my wife is ready to talk about the kids and the day and I'm still just mulling over some theological idea or a question asked of me. I've got to do personally better job of putting that down. My wife wants to talk about emotions and situation as soon as my emotions are still connected to what was going on here or in another issue at another place. Whatever. It might be. She was my spiritual leadership and sometimes I'm just downright tired of spiritual leadership sagiv in and out all day and this plays out in all of your lives in different facets. I'm just inviting you into my life and when I process and go through and struggle with she wants conversation. Sometimes I have a Monday where I talked for six and a half hours of people. That's not a complaint. That's like the favorite thing I do. So my mindset is how do I come home and love her in the same way? I love the body of Christ. God can get to your pastor on this week and I have to fight at it because I would like to just go home and zone out but Solomon says and the garden and the Garden or doing things to recapture our time together you call me on a Friday. I ain't hanging out with you. I'm sorry for shutting it down. We put some things in motion for our family to be able to do this why cuz we need intimacy and intimacy is more than being intimate. I have so much more. I'm going to finish this last thought and we'll see what we do it next week. If this idea that I want to share with you is We crave this idea in to see if two incredibly important ingredient. It's being known and being safe.

Do you want intimacy? It's not just found in the bedroom that's being intimate with somebody you want intimacy. Its being known as being open you real is sharing your life with somebody it's in a varmint that is safe quality of intimacy were talking about his connecting. Well on the outside is connecting well on the inside sharing our feelings and our emotions were going through. So, excuse me, we can connect well on the outside reading a book by Winston Smith and he said sex begins in the kitchen.

That means the kind of intimacy that were having is in the other room. Then when the children are around and we're talking about time. I provided stencil that I'm talking about connecting knowing and being known with one another. God gives his beautiful gift. I guess if there is ways in which to use this and it is going to enhance your marriage your relationship. There's a place for it that's outside of there. It is going to be detrimental and it's going to burn you up and it's going to harm and hurt you and then he leaves us with this. Hope RI says earlier on in 1st Corinthians 6 when he was talking about sexual morality and adulterous and all this and he does some of which were you that's no longer Who You Are I want to leave you with this morning as if you're like Brett these last two recent just crushed me. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Has drug conviction coming down on you not his condemnation and he has made you knew and 2nd. Corinthians says you are a new creation in Christ old things have been passed away. All things are made new. He is a radical new work in you to what would I say to you right now to participate in sexual immorality, which is any kind of sex outside of marriage.

Quit it and walk in the consistent nature that Christ has made you I would say this you are forgiven and loved more than you ever dare believe rcano or imagined and he has forgiven you of that and everything else to walk in the new nature. That's what he has done for us Let's Pretend We're thank you for your word for your truth. Hope that we have in Jesus. I pray that we would respond to this word with joy. You've forgiven Sinners such as us. And that you love Sinners Like Me. And that you called us to your table even invite us into Fellowship. The pursuit us and gave offer us maybe rejoicing that if we worship you now in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. If you're new here couple of things are in a sitting for more songs during the first three songs, we get to respond to God they're singing we get to respond to God through the fact that he gave his life for us and we get to partake in his life through communion and then we can give to a God is doing here in the corners at the church visit time to be honest and real before the Lord. She praises to be redeemed you and fats into him. He's forgiven you and walk consistently with a new nature of his.