Teen Topics – Friendship (Part 1)

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Introduction

In this series we’ll look at the important relationships that teens have with their friends. For most teens, their friends are some of the most influential people in their lives, often second only to the influence of their parents. Because of this, developing quality friendships is important.
This series is designed to tackle three areas related to friendship:

Three Areas in Friendship

1. The purpose of friendship (Part 1)
2. The importance of choosing good friends (Part 2)
the purpose of friendship (Part 1), the importance of choosing good friends (Part 2), and how God calls each of us to be a good friend to others (Part 3).
3. How God calls each of us to be a good friend to others (Part 3).
This series will encourage your students to make wise decisions when it comes to developing the kind of friendships God desires them to have.

Lesson Objective

Students will explore the foundational purpose of friendships and consider how they can ensure their friendships are what God intends them to be.

Discussion Questions

Students will explore the foundational purpose of friendships and consider how they can ensure their friendships are what God intends them to be.
What would you say are the top five qualities that make up a good friend?
What would you say are the top five qualities that make up a good friend? (Possible answers: fun, loyal, supportive, etc.). Ask your students to rank their answers from 1-5. Give your students time to think through their responses.
(Possible answers: fun, loyal, supportive, etc.). Ask your students to rank their answers from 1-5. Give your students time to think through their responses.
Discuss their answers and compare responses. Ask your students why certain qualities are higher on their list than others. Highlight how each answer brings out a quality we all appreciate about friendships.
In our lesson today, we’ll begin the first of a three-part series on the topic of friendship. Through this series, we’ll gain a deeper appreciation for those we call friends, and we’ll think about how we can become better friends ourselves. God gives us a lot of advice regarding friends, including the fact that we must take our friendships seriously. Let’s begin.

The Issue

See Handout

What does the Bible say?

Note what these verses teach concerning the purpose of friendships:

Proverbs 27:5–6 NASB95
5 Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:5–6 NLT
5 An open rebuke is better than hidden love! 6 Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Ans: Confronting sin and keeping each other in line.
Confronting sin and keeping each other in line.
Proverbs 27:9 NASB95
9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.
Proverbs 27:9 NLT
9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
Prov 27
Ans: Giving advice and helpful counsel when needed
Giving advice and helpful counsel when needed
Proverbs 27:17 NASB95
17 Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17 NLT
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Ans: Building each other up/improving each other.
Building each other up/improving each other.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NASB95
9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NLT
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ans: Encouraging and strengthening each other.
Acts 27:3 NASB95
3 The next day we put in at Sidon; and Julius treated Paul with consideration and allowed him to go to his friends and receive care.
Acts 27:3 NLT
3 The next day when we docked at Sidon, Julius was very kind to Paul and let him go ashore to visit with friends so they could provide for his needs.
Ans: Helping meet the needs of one another.
Helping meet the needs of one another.

We see several things we can learn from these verses:

We see several things we can learn from these verses:
1. Friends play an important role in shaping who we are. Just as an iron tool is used to sharpen an iron sword, true friends will “sharpen” each other and help each other grow as people.
1. Friends play an important role in shaping who we are. Just as an iron tool is used to sharpen an iron sword, true friends will “sharpen” each other and help each other grow as people.
n important role in shaping who we are. Just as an iron tool is used to sharpen an iron sword, true friends will “sharpen” each other and help each other grow as people.
The purpose of these verses is to show that friendship goes beyond just hanging out and having fun. There is a God-given purpose behind the relationship we have with our friends. While we can appreciate the good times we enjoy with our friends, let’s also be grateful for n important role in shaping who we are. Just as an iron tool is used to sharpen an iron sword, true friends will “sharpen” each other and help each other grow as people.
2. Friends should tell each other what they need to hear, not just want they want to hear. If someone is doing things they should not be doing (like drinking, looking at inappropriate websites, gossiping, etc.), a true friend will realize such things are dangerous and, out of love, encourage their friend to avoid them. says those who rebuke a friend will find favor, as opposed to those who flatter with their words.
3. The care and concern friends have for one another should create a bond between them that can’t be broken!

Purpose of these verses:

The purpose of these verses is to show that friendship goes beyond just hanging out and having fun. There is a God-given purpose behind the relationship we have with our friends. While we can appreciate the good times we enjoy with our friends, let’s also be grateful for the significant role they have in our lives and we have in theirs!
The purpose of these verses is to show that friendship goes beyond just hanging out and having fun. There is a God-given purpose behind the relationship we have with our friends. While we can appreciate the good times we enjoy with our friends, let’s also be grateful for
the significant role they have in our lives and we have in theirs!

Discussion Questions:

• How do the qualities mentioned in these verses give you a new perspective on what friendship is about? How would you describe the benefits of a good friendship based on this?
• What is the potential downside of a friend failing to fulfill the purposes God has for them?

Silent Reflection:

If I asked you to think of someone in your life who truly cares for you and does things with your best interest in mind — who would that person be?
Silent Reflection: If I asked you to think of someone in your life who truly cares for you and does things with your best interest in mind — who would that person be? What things do they do that prove they genuinely want what’s best for you? (Take answers only if students are willing to share. This may be a good time for you to share an example of someone in your life who demonstrated a genuine care for you and explain why you learned to appreciate them for it.)
What things do they do that prove they genuinely want what’s best for you? (Take answers only if students are willing to share. This may be a good time for you to share an example of someone in your life who demonstrated a genuine care for you and explain why you learned to appreciate them for it.)
Let’s consider a few biblical principles as we contemplate the important role of our friendships.

What Should I Do?

(See Handout)
As we can see, friendships can be highly valuable. We must recognize the need we have for friends, as well as the important role we have in each other’s lives. As you reflect over the verses above, keep in mind these helpful truths:
1. It is easier for others to notice areas in our life that need to be improved than it is for us to notice ourselves.
2. Keeping each other accountable can go a long way toward growing in godliness.
3. An encouraging word or a helping hand may be exactly how God desires you to uplift a friend.

(Before ending read the following below)

Discussion Questions:
Why is it often easier for others to notice areas in our life that need to be improved than it is for us to see them ourselves?
• Why is it often easier for others to notice areas in our life that need to be improved than it is for us to see them ourselves?
Do you think there is a right way and a wrong way to point out areas someone needs to improve? What is the right way?
(In addition to doing it with grace, explain that the motive must be right as well. It must be genuine, and it must show that you have the best interest of the person in mind.)
How can accountability benefit each person in a friendship? Can you give some examples of what that could look like?
How can accountability benefit each person in a friendship? Can you give some examples of what that could look like?
What are some practical ways friends can be true encouragers?
Understanding the purpose of friendships should help us better appreciate the amazing benefit of having good friends. Friends are much more than hangout buddies; they are people who God can use to challenge us and push us toward godliness, while encouraging and supporting us along the way!
With this in mind, there are two key qualities we can add to the list of important qualities that make up a friendship:

Two Key Qualities

Humility

Humility: This can be the key factor that allows us to learn from our friends. A willingness to listen and learn from others is essential in being transformed into who God wants us to be.

Boldness

Boldness: Boldness is required if we are going to be willing to encourage our friends to be who God has called them to be.
When our friendships fulfill the purpose God has for them, they will become much more meaningful. They might be life changing as well!
It is always good to evaluate your friendships to be sure they are meeting the purposes God has intended for them. Developing good friendships and surrounding yourself with good people is key. We’ll look at this more in our next lesson.
It is always good to evaluate your friendships to be sure they are meeting the purposes God has intended for them. Developing good friendships and surrounding yourself with good people is key. We’ll look at this more in our next lesson.
Read
Mark 10:45 NASB95
45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
says that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. Jesus showed selfless love to others as He fulfilled the ultimate purpose for Him coming to earth, which was to bring us salvation through His work on the cross.
says that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. Jesus showed selfless love to others as He fulfilled the ultimate purpose for Him coming to earth, which was to bring us salvation through His work on the cross.

Summary

Friendships make life fun and exciting, but they also serve an important purpose. God calls us to view our friendships as a way to encourage one another to be who God wants us to be. This is the ultimate purpose behind why God has given us friendships!

Challenge

List out specific ways the principles discussed in our lesson can be incorporated into your friendships.
Then have a conversation with one (or more) of your friends about your desire to make those things a part of your friendship.
Discuss specific things you can work on together to implement what God has put on your heart.
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