Relationships Matter! Part 4
Thrive 2020: We Were Created To Do More Than Survive! • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 43:56
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Transcript
Welcome
Welcome
Good Morning! I’d like to welcome you all to the gathering of Ephesus Baptist Church!
Are you happy to be here this morning? Look at your neighbor and tell them you are happy to be hear and eager to worship the Lord!
Why have we gathered here this Sunday morning (Pause)....That’s right! The same reason we have gathered on Sunday’s since 1880!
We gather to worship and exalt the name of Jesus Christ, our risen King. Today, provides us another opportunity to fall more in love with Jesus Christ as we seek to follow Him as His disciples.
If you are visiting with us this morning, we want you to who we are here at Ephesus...
We are all one family of faith: “giving our all to love God, love people, proclaim Jesus, and make disciples in our generation.”
That is our mission, our purpose, why we exist as a church.
We have a connect card in the pew in front of you. I invite you to take one and fill it out! If you have prayer needs, you can let us know about those as well.
I promise, our prayer team will lift you up your request confidentially. You can place those cards in the offering plate when it comes around.
Scripture Memory
Scripture Memory
17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.
Opening Scripture Reading
Opening Scripture Reading
11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
12 We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous.
13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.
14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.
15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him;
20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.
21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;
22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.
23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.
24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
Prayer of Invocation and Confession
Introduction
Introduction
We are moving along today in our sermon series: THRIVE 2020: We Were Created To Do More Than Survive!
We are using the acronym THRIVE to guide us through principles that will help each of us to thrive in your house and in God’s house!
T - Trusting God in All Things!
H - Heighten the Habits of Holiness in Our Lives!
R - Relationships Matter!
1. Our relationship with our God matters! (1 John 2:28-3:3; Col 3:1-4; Eph 2:19-20; and Eph 5:1-2, 30)
1. Our relationship with our God matters! (1 John 2:28-3:3; Col 3:1-4; Eph 2:19-20; and Eph 5:1-2, 30)
2. Our relationship with our Spouse matters! (Col 3:18-19; Eph 5:21-33)
2. Our relationship with our Spouse matters! (Col 3:18-19; Eph 5:21-33)
Moving Forward
Today, we are going to look at the final three relationships that truly matter in our lives if we want to thrive in our house and in God’s house!
Again, I want to remind you that we live in a day and age that would attack three of our core, God-ordained institutions: marriage, family, and the church.
We have discussed how our culture wants to twist God’s design for marriage and what we must do to protect the sanctity of marriage in our own lives.
But what about family? How has family been affected by these modern day attacks?
To be blunt: our culture has lost its way with respect to parenting. Parents are no longer the authority figure in their children’s lives. There is no real authority for many children today.
In our self-absorbed, me-first culture, children are clearly a liability in most parents minds. In many cases parents are busy trying to make their own lives better, and they don’t bother to invest in the lives of their children.
Other parents are dazed and confused, frustrated that their children don’t act like they should. Children no longer ask permission to speak. They no longer fear the consequences of disobedience, as they do not accept a submissive role in life.
In large part, many of our homes have been led away from parenting the way the Bible prescribes. We now parent according to psychobabble gurus like Dr. Phil and Oprah.
Church we must lead people in our community back to the Bible as our only real parenting guide. God’s perfect word is the only sufficient guide that paints a real picture of parents, children, family values, training, nurturing, and disciplining.
In other words, it is all we need to parent effectively. God’s ways, though untried by our culture, are the only truly effective parenting tools available to us.
The church mirrors the problems of our culture primarily because we aren’t parenting from a biblical position. We have adopted our cultures advice as our own and left the Bible on the shelf to collect dust.
As culture moves farther and farther away from God’s ideals, we are still trying to do parenting culture’s way, rather than God’s way even though the results we are getting proves it doesn’t work.
Biblical parenting is hard work. It involves establishing the parents as representative authorities, shepherding our children to have a clear picture of their role in God’s world, and keeping the Gospel visible so that our children can internalize the truths of Scripture and someday learn to live under the authority of Christ.
3. Our relationship with our children matters! (Col 3:20-21; Eph 6:1-4)
3. Our relationship with our children matters! (Col 3:20-21; Eph 6:1-4)
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Three quick observations from this passage.
A. Parents have been given authority.
A. Parents have been given authority.
Parents are the authority that God has placed over the lives of their children. That authority does not belong to any other entity. It does not belong to grandparents, though they are to be respected. It does not belong to schools. It most certainly does not belong to our representatives in government.
It belongs to parents. Parents are to act at His command as they seek to discharge the duty that He has given to them.
B. Children are to submit to their parent’s authority.
B. Children are to submit to their parent’s authority.
Parent’ exercise authority as God’s agent. The purpose for this authority is not to hold our children under our power, but to empower them to become self-controlled men and women who live under the authority of God in their lives.
Children are to obey their parents in everything!
Obviously, this is not an absolute command. If a parent instructs a child to do something unbiblical, unethical, or immoral, then God’s word overpowers the will of the ungodly parent.
In everything else, the children are to be obedient.
Jesus submitted himself to the authority of his earthly parents, despite his sovereignty over creation.
If we love our children, we will teach them the value and blessing found in obedience.
Children are to honor their father and mother!
This is the first command with a promise!
Obedience and Honor are two different things.
Obedience means to do what another tells you to do.
Honor means to respect and love someone or something other than yourself.
It is possible to obey without honor, but God has called us all to both of honor and obedience.
These things are true of the child/parent relationship for life.
As children obey the command to honor their parents, they reveal an attitude of love and respect that they carry over into their relationship with God. This generates a community that helps provide for and protect the aged.
On the individual level, as each child cares for older parents, the elderly parents live longer, and the younger people help to pass biblical values down to the next generation.
God wants children to honor their elders. Where elders are respected and honored, the church becomes a community that cares for our aging parents as part of our Christian duty.
C. Fathers play a key role in raising Godly children.
C. Fathers play a key role in raising Godly children.
God has designed the family in a way that will create multi-generational faithfulness if we obey and honor His will.
2 that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long.
In Jewish families, God gave the fathers responsibility over the training and discipline of the children.
Both parents taught the children, but it was the Father who was primarily responsible to train the children theologically. It was also the father’s role to discipline the children.
15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
The rod of discipline (spanking) and communication must always go together if we are to instruct our children well.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
15 My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad.
16 My inmost being will exult when your lips speak what is right.
17 Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.
18 Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.
19 Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your heart in the way.
Solomon here weds the rod with extensive communication pleading the child to direct their heart toward godliness.
Paul warns fathers, not to discipline in a way that discourages the child from becoming what the discipline intends them to become....children who honor and obey their parents.
Too often we are all guilty of being too harsh with our children. Spank them yes, but let’s work toward not discouraging them.
Martin Luther, whose own father was very strict, once wrote:
“Spare the rod and spoil the child—that is true. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he has done well.” ~ Martin Luther
Ask yourself: Do you try to encourage and praise at least as often as you scold or correct?
Suffice it to say that parenting isn’t easy, but it wasn’t supposed to be. But if we can be parents who influence our children to be dazzled by God. It is all worth it!
6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
William Hendrickson put it this way: “The heart of Christian nurture is to bring the heart of the child to the heart of his Savior.”
Do you read the Bible to your children or grandchildren?
Do you tell them the great stories of the heroic men and women of the faith who’ve gone before?
Do you pray for and with them daily?
Do you take them to worship and let them see how important your involvement in the church is to you?
Can they see the difference Christ makes in your life?
Love, submission, discipline, and instruction in the Lord form the foundation for biblical parenting. We will talk more about this in greater detail in the future....but for now.....
Let’s now turn our attention to another relationship that matters.
4. Our relationship with our co-workers matters! (Col 3:22-4:1; Eph 6 5-9)
4. Our relationship with our co-workers matters! (Col 3:22-4:1; Eph 6 5-9)
5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,
6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,
7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,
8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.
9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Slavery was a large part of the society during Paul’s day. Millions of slaves lived under the absolute power of their owners or masters. While some were harsh, many were nice and the slaves really became like members of their family.
Paul is not condoning slavery here, but since it existed he is providing help for Christian slave owners and slaves, most of whom were recently saved by Christ.
Therefore, they had to learn how to live together as Christians under these relationships.
Now thankfully we live in a nation that no longer allows human slavery. So these passages don’t apply to us in the same way. But we do have employment, or we employ others.
The words of Paul here give us instruction on how to live in relationship to our co-workers and bosses.
Some of you work in places that are so ungodly and backstabbing. That is unfortunate, but God has something to remind you of here as well.
In speaking to slaves, Paul is addressing a group of people who had virtually no rights and their values was held in a rather low esteem. Yet he tells them to render their service with a good will or with an enthusiasm. In Colossians, he says in verses 23-24
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
This difficult instruction has three implications we would do well to remember:
A. Our work needs to be worth offering to the Lord, whatever our field.
A. Our work needs to be worth offering to the Lord, whatever our field.
How shameful for Christian employees to do their work in a substandard, slipshod, or unethical manner. Those people lose all credibility with their coworkers.
B. Our work can be a holy offering to God.
B. Our work can be a holy offering to God.
Our attitude of service transforms our menial tasks into beautiful sacrifices of love.
Do these truths cause you to rethink the way you do your job?
Are there areas of your job performance for which you need to repent and possibly even apologize or make restitution to someone?
Your work can be holy. Remember to do it in a way that honors God and you will be rewarded with a reward that no harsh boss can take away.
C. Our employees are both our ministry field and our ministry partners.
C. Our employees are both our ministry field and our ministry partners.
9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Christian employers should treat their employees fairly and with respect. Do you treat your employees as people and not machines? Remember that no matter whom you work for and no matter who works for you, the One you ultimately should want to please is your Father in heaven. He watches how you treat your employees.
One last relationship to discuss.
This one will be brief because we have discussed it at length in the past.
5. Our relationship with our church family matters! (Eph 2:19-22; Eph 5 21-33; Col 3:12-17)
5. Our relationship with our church family matters! (Eph 2:19-22; Eph 5 21-33; Col 3:12-17)
19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,
20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone,
21 in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.
22 In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
I want to note one thing today about why our relationship with our church family matters.
A. Only God’s grace can make strangers into family.
A. Only God’s grace can make strangers into family.
Everything we have been discussing for the last few weeks reminds us of this truth.
Apart from God’s grace we would all be strangers walking our own selfish paths towards an eternity of separation from God and from others.
God, in his mercy, has taken us—foreigners and aliens—strangers — and made us part of His kingdom and even members of His own household.
What kind of lives should He then expect from us: critical, complaining, argumentative, never satisfied?
No! Our lives should be characterized by gratitude, patience with one another, and praise for God’s good benevolence toward us.
Since we are together a living, growing holy temple, a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit, what kind of dwelling place ought we to be together?
One marked by factions, divisions, self-seeking, quarrels over money, griping about the length of worship, and fights over styles of worship and personal preferences?
Or one that exudes unity, servanthood, joy, self-sacrifice, and love?
In which place would you rather live?
Which relationship would you rather be a part of?
A relationship with the world, or one with the God of all creation?
A relationship with no commitment, no order, no leadership, no mutual love and respect, or one with a spouse who submits to God’s authority in marriage?
A relationship with children who disobey and ignore, or children who obey and honor you as their parent?
A relationship with a coworker who is self-seeking and stabs others in the back to advance while doing a poor job, or a coworker who works as to the Lord heartily and with enthusiasm submitting to the will of the Master or Boss?
A relationship with a church family that complains and criticizes, gossips and tears down, quarrels and fights, and seeks their own will as opposed to God’s will clearly outlined in Scripture, or .....
A relationship with a church family that loves, encourages, equips, and disciplines through healthy accountability to help grow the body into a disciple making stronghold of God’s grace that sends out workers and performs ministries that changes lives and make our community noticeably better as we seek God’s will together.
Where do you want live? What relationship matter to you?
May we all strive to thrive in the relationships that matter.
Our relationship with God, our spouse, our children, our co-workers, and our church family.
If we make those relationships a priority, we will thrive in our house’s in ways we can’t even imagine, and we will thrive in God’s house by seeing God bless those relationships by multiplying those relational skills in the lives of others!