Parental Guidance

Today we continue in this series of Perfect 10 and they're looking at the fifth commandment which is found in Exodus chapter 20 verse 12 honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Let's bow our heads for a word of prayer. Lord as we come into this place you were tells us where two or three are gathered in your name there you are in our midst and suddenly the more than two or three of us here. We thank you that you are here. Show me the wealth of my mouth and the meditation of all our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God our Rock and Redeemer. Amen. We live in perilous times. We living in times in which we know are difficult, on many levels. I came across social media a little video clip, which I'm going to show you. So you want to be a shepherd? <laughter >

Sometimes as a Shepherd, I feel like that. You know the decision do we meet this weekend or not was before us. I know the number of churches that have decided to call off their public services. The most prominent of those was City Harvest and then Adam Road Presbyterian as well as the entire Roman Catholic archdiocese have called off their public services. And all had to weigh it all. And ultimately, I'm sort of glad we are in the diocese because the decision was made above us. So it's our taking a lot of the beating because they criticize you whether you do they criticize you whether you don't show the Innocence, sometimes you you not sure which way to turn and I was particularly struck that we really need to be praying for pastors. I'm not just asking for myself, but you know, I've been reading about Grace Assembly of God and they are now the largest cluster and I can imagine you know what they're going through. By God's grace. I understand, you know that they are remaining strong and they continuing to follow on but no no Senior pastor himself is in NCIC. And who knows whether he was one of the supraspinatus and I mean, we don't know. But that's all this [danger of] cross movement and we will talk about some of the measures we going to be taking in our church. Because we do have two services and we'll talk about some things we want to do. But why do we meet I think that's a principle here and it is not the sermon yet. I just a little bit to address the situation what we're facing. you know, I think the two things we need to be (aware) of. Number one. We need to be careful, that's for certain, but we don't want to be fearful. Be careful not fearful. And I think you know, how do we be careful and not fearful? One of the most important things for us is to operate and make decisions on the basis of good information. You know, that's a lot of information out that I don't know if it's really been a blessing this information age because of the nature of the internet and how it's so easily available. Now, even on a hand phones, we can easily access information. You know much information is not necessarily good because we don't know how to evaluate the source sometimes. So look to reliable sources of information. And that's part of the reason we are continuing to meet you know, yet (aware) of social distancing. I've always felt that since I've come here to the pastor this church, some social distancing, you all like to sit at the back, so that's social distance. We will be passing the Peace later, but we will not be shaking hands because they the word coming back from the experts is that it's often times through close contact that the possibility of infection takes place. Similar to flu and the cold the common cold. That's how it happens. So, you know, we we we make the decision on the basis of information, but often fear comes when we let our imagination run wild we think about the worst case scenario and then we blow it up and then you don't we we live in fear and we need to find a balance between the two. But like I said We are continuing the series in the Ten Commandments with entitled it "Perfect 10" because they're God's ten words for us, the words to his people who are newly formed as a nation of Israel. They were (given as) He was in the process of creating a new people and as his word create life. That's what he was doing, teaching them new ways of living, new ways of doing things. Forming them into a new people. Taking them out of a culture that they had known all their lives. Forming a new culture. And I think it's important for us in this Year of (Personal) Discipleship that we continue to be formed in our understanding on the ways of God. And as you know the Ten Commandments, later God wrote them down on two tablets of stone. These are not the real tablets. It's representative written in Hebrew. Hebrew reads from right to left sort of like the Chinese language and the right is the first tablet. The left is a second. And scholars sometimes debate. You know, where does the fifth commandment lie? Does it lie on the first tablet or the second. The first tablet really helps us understand how we relate to God. Loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Then loving the community, the people whom God has placed you in proximity with. Loving your neighbour as yourself is the second tablet. And you know, in many ways this commandment, the fifth commandment builds a bridge between the two. I think and I believe as with many other scholars, it falls under the first tablet. Let me explain to you why. Why should we see and obey the Commandment, the fifth commandment about honoring our parents? You know how parents are really our first encounter with authority. And they are the [first] authority figures over us when we are born into a family. They are the relationship in which we learn to obey, learn to submit, learn to relate to authority. Hopefully in healthy ways. In many ways. I believe obedience begins at home and it's important [for] our home life. But you see under God, the principal is this [found] in Romans 13:1-2. And Paul tells the Roman church, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no Authority except that which God has established the authorities that exist have been established by God." That this is a principle, you know, which is is true. Even under trying circumstances. Don't forget the Roman authorities were by no means Godly authorities. In fact, you know that Paul eventually became a martyr and he died because the Roman started to persecute (Christians). Nero the Roman Emperor persecuted Christians and many, many Christians lost their lives. Yet there is a principle in which all authority, in a sense, has been established by God. And so consequently he goes on in this passage. He says, "He who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves." This is the overarching principle. And this is why I say, you know, this Commandment sort of bridges the gap between our relationship with God and the relationship with one another. In obeying and honoring our parents ultimately, what we are learning to do is to honor and to submit to God. And you know, so this is about us understanding. Our relationship is. And you see Also in the book of Ephesians the letter to the Ephesians Paul said to them for this reason, I bow my knees before the father from whom every family in heaven and on Earth is named in the Greek. It's probably better translated from whom all fatherhood derives its name. What just family but all Parenthood in that sense is derived from the image and who God is. But therein lies the problem and I know this because having dinner pasta for many years. I've had a chance to talk with people sometimes counsel them and and works with them through issues. There are people who have a real problem with God. And often times the problem they have stems from the fact that they've had a problem with their own relationship with their parents. Usually the father but not only the father, you know, what a problem with authority over all because of something that happened in the past in their own upbringing on their life and it it goes off in like this, you know, because I had a bad father or mother they begin to project the feelings that they have in relating to their parents who were the first Authority and they said unto God innocence a project that image of poor Parenthood on to God And at the struggle with his identity and self-identity in scripture calling god father. But understand this is he. It's not gone who's being made in the image of our human likeness of human Parenthood. We are made in the image of God. That's why I had the reading from Genesis to see Creations design, right? So God created man in his own image in the image of God. He created him male and female. He created them. We know this God is Not male or female although he self-identifies in the use that terminology in there all kinds of reasons for that and I believe that is true. But God's best expressed in the relationship of father and mother that together. We give a picture we are made in the image of God. But of course we know the reality is that you know, although that we are made in the image and God intention you see in verses 28 and following is is that you will then continue the work of God we have dominion. We have authority we have been meant to be Stewart's of all creation and that's a whole nother sermon for another time. But the reality is this that we were made in God's image. However, the image of God Has Fallen because sin ascended into the world this image is mad And because it's small it's very easy sometimes for us when we look at a broken dirty distorted image and then begin the projected on the real thing, but it doesn't make much sense. Does it? I don't know. If one day you went out and you encountered a merchant maybe now you're not doing that so much because you're worried about getting an infection. But if you are inside me the handed you a counterfeit $50 bill because you don't know you can tell the real from The Falls. When you go to the bank to bank it in the bank a bank teller tells you sorry sir. This is a counterfeit bill. You cannot deposit it. Do you on the basis of the fact that you're disappointed by counterfeit say I don't have anything to do with money all together. Right, you don't let the poor image distort the image of what was originally intended. Some years ago. There was a viral news story that went out about this church where I had a beautiful mural ecce homo where it is Jesus the man this from from from The Trial before Pilate and Jesus the painting the mural the Fresco was a pot and you know, because it's been weathered and an 80 year old woman longtime member of the church decided she needed to do something about it. If you see that on the right is her attempt to repair or restore the Fresco and of course it went viral because he know it's up distorted image of what the artist originally intended. We don't judge the value of the artwork based on a distortion of it. You know, we recognize that there is an original intent and Design An innocence that's what we need to see that as parents, you know, the true image of true Parenthood. Is found in God himself. And that's a word for us because I know and I recognize.

The many of us have not had the best upbringing. You know many of us sometimes struggle and if there's a temptation to project onto God the image, we have of our own parents whether your parent happened to be example of a distant one. You know emotionally distant Never Hug, you never demonstrated physical love or even you know, I spoke to you in in words or Terms of Endearment and you know, the Temptation is to struggle. How do I see God as a loving God? All if you have a parent whose, you know, perfectionistic quite similar to most Asian parents, you know where you think the best way to motivate your child has to push them. So when you come home with your 95 in your math test your father says you what's the other 5% How do you make the 5% even say Well done, you know you yet like a parent that's hot to please and You Begin a project that under God and say God is a hard-to-please parent. our God is an absent parent or God is a parent who doesn't know his limits and you know jokes with you and won't stop you when you ask him to stop and I could go on and on and on but you see the danger and doing that is that we have a distorted image of who God is but the converse can be true if we understand that, you know God is the perfect father. Then for those of us with struggle with our relationship with our father. Because our father maybe was abusive or was none present or even if he was there was non demonstrative. We can look to God the perfect father to give us what we have been missing all along that which we have been longing for in our hearts, you know, some of the reason we long for his because we know there must be someone out there who is perfect in the he is and that is God himself. That's the wild why we need to obey this command. How do we go about doing it? That's the question, isn't it? Ephesians 6 verses 1 to 4 is I think of a good place to spot because Paul is dealing with family relationships and really this commandment has to do with familial relationships between parents and children and parents by Sophie parents and children and on through the family in in many ways. You heard that joke, which I think it's been told many times right Sunday school teacher was teaching on this fifth commandment and said, you know, this is like a madman that teaches us our relationship with parents do any of you know, the Commandment which teaches us a relationship without siblings are brothers and sisters and for a moment. There was no response until a little boy in the back. Yes down shall not mother.

Some of you know exactly what that means. But yeah chapter 6 verses 1 2 3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the Earth. Until Paul commenting on this passage interprets the word honor as a bait and I think again because you know when Rihanna is we hold them in high esteem dim them. It's important. I think obedience becomes a natural part of how we relate to those who are first in authority over us, but I want to see some things about that because you know, it says tis children. Obey your parents what In the Lord because our understanding of authority god-given authority said all authority derives from God. So that for the the the the the prime Authority the ultimate Authority the The Authority above all authority. Is God himself? so when we obey our parents, it's yes, but there's a but because you know you obey them as unto the Lord so long as it's God's law and God's precepts and God's leading and directing. Yes, you'll be

What does that mean? You know that in World War II that were a lot of soldiers who are after the war prosecuted for war crimes? A lot of times the defense that came up was this. Well my Superior officer. My commanding officer told me to do it and that was never accepted as a defense because there is a law that supersedes your commanding officer all the immediate Superior above you write. The law of of of what is right and good and moral and just And you know just because you say I'm just obeying you still have. I'm all authority to see the prime Authority which has the authority of God and that you're on down the line. That's the principle we have with all the authority that we deal with. Yes. We obey but God is the supreme authority. We are bears on to the Lord and if there's ever a conflict, you know, who is the ultimate Authority that we submit to all right, and that's the principle that it's there but are you know this morning? I always with the morning service we have children and I always tell a children's sermon. I brought this home to them because you know and Busby says that if you obey this command it's got a promise attached to it that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life or nothing this applies more two children that may be to those of us who are adults relating to a parents, but I think the principle holds I say to them why will Life belong well because our parents said was don't run across the road and you choose to disobey your life will not be very long. Penn State West don't climb up on the balcony. And we choose to ignore those instructions. We ignore it at the Peril of a life, you know, I could go on and on and on and and may not be immediate but there are consequences to a lot of instructions again. This is a general principle and you know by and large parents. That's our role. That's what we want to do is we want to make sure our children are safe but also Point them on the right path for life and there is a principle in which when we submit ourselves to Authority is not the hot ass not to you know, Katella freedoms, but really to help us flourish, and that's the principle of I'm submitting to Authority again. It's a general principle and I know there are always exceptions for the exceptions to me point to the roof rather than you know, tell us that the rule is in true. But you know, like I said this has to do with family relationship. So it's not just one week because Paul goes on then and bus 4 of this passage that we read to see this fathers and I believe he means mothers as well. But maybe fathers are more guilty of this do not exasperate your children or in another version. Do not provoke your children instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

And so we as parents have a responsibility and how we relate to our children. It's not meant to be because I say so because I know but I know I'm a parent and I saved all the time that's all asked me why I said because I say so or variation of that as long as you live under my roof, you will obey my love and I've caught myself saying things like that, but you know, what does it really mean to exasperate your children? Well, sometimes it's that And you know what it is. It's went out instructions and I'll discipline and I'll training is inconsistent. One day can then if they cannot they do not know what the rules are where the boundaries lie. All where we have please foundries and we don't recognize the fact that I'll children are growing up and let the level of their responsibilities changes and you know, there is a principle in which you make the boundaries small when they're young because he they can't make decisions about the point of it in training and instructing a toilet to teach them to make good decisions. So you have to allow them. You don't mind more latitude in the decisions that they make because I know sometimes as parents the tendency is we don't want them to make bong decisions. But guess what? If you want them to make good decisions, sometimes they have to learn the consequence of making a bad decision. Night because making a bad decision often teaches you far more than making a good decision. Yeah, Bailey often teaches you how to succeed because you know, I'm never going down that path again because the consequence of doing something like that is wrong. So, you know, it's it's a knot in in time, I hope to do more parenting classes. I know that's been a request and we are planning to have one coming out soon. But Alan will talk to you about it later the announcements because of the current situation. We may have to postpone but we will see accordingly. But then that applies to many of you who are still living under the household with your parents or those of us who are parents. What about those of us? I'll parents are much older and my parents are not here because my mom's not well so that they're not because that's the the current guidelines we have but you know, what do we do? How do we as adult children? Obey this command suggestions I present you. First and foremost I would say forgive them.

And I would say this even to my own children forgive them. I know I have much to be forgiven off. You know as parents we all cells. human won't human that we'd like to admit. I'm being human means that we are Fallen creatures and that we make mistakes all the time. I remember growing up and thinking to myself never going to be like my dad.

Angle SI evaluate I find myself repeating all the things. My dad said to me when I was a kid and I also know this is like a record, you know that is coming round and round again repeat the repeat 3-peat and that's the reality for many of us. But I'll parents For Better or For Worse. Did the best I could And at times yes, they didn't make mistakes. But I think it's very important that we forgive them how we forgive as Christ has forgiven us. You not to be honest with you. I found it much much easier to forgive my parents after I became a parent myself and I realize how tough a job it is to be a parent. And you know, the decisions are not that, you know children don't come with an instruction manual. There is no one tells you how to do it and you so you fumble your way through it and let me hear a different the things that we are faced with as parents of children today Spotify who has to be relate to that my thing it begins and I think this is true of all family relationships. That we need the grace of God so that we can forgive one another for being who we are and that's the key to building good family relationship. But then the second thing is this is to esteem them. I used to say to my parents and say to people you know it without the two of them. I would not be here and that's quite literally true on the biological sense, but it's true and every other level as well. You know whether you like it or not, they have shaped you into the person that you are. You know, if you have found me to be a good pasta a good preacher the man who is able to do a good job. I give credit to my parents cuz I learned how to do it at their feet. You know, if I'm up or pasta better pictures.

But you know esteem them because they have contributed to who you are faults and all you know, the sum of who you are. If you think you've done a good ended up in the fatty good place parents are the ones that need that sin because you know, what as a parent myself sometimes I don't know what I've done a good job. And it really gives me encouragement when when my child says to me that you've been a good dad. You know, it it it it shows me at least they've appreciated the efforts and you know, despite all the failings in the fault. It's something that's why I steam them. What's up me? Sick that Vice that goes without saying, you know, I saw the other day a t-shirt. I didn't get to be this all by being stupid and there's a truth to that, you know, because stupid people don't live Aid they make stupid choices at the end. There is a wisdom that comes with age and I I think I'll Asian Society sees it and we value it and I think there is a measure of Truth with no wisdom doesn't mean that every time you have to take everything that they say it but I do believe that you can go very far from the principle of really looking to them and seeking that bison and weighing it up against everything else. That's there. I am reminded of a quote which I I love from Mark Twain. I'm not sure where when he said it but you know, he was a journalist and it may have been one of his articles. He said this when I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant. I could hardly stand to have the old man around but when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years. And I think we've all been there and how you three may have looked at them and said, you know, he doesn't know what he's talking about. But after awhile, you know, you begin to understand and you begin to Value the wisdom that comes from them. And above and you know make use of it and and and appreciated in value it. But that didn't last in the suggestions, I would place before you besides forgiving and a steaming and seeking the advice. I would say that we need to support them and really that's what the Gospel reading was about. yes, because Jesus was being pressed on some of the Traditions that the religious leaders had in some ways what's wrong with that tradition of washing hands before you eat thought that now actually a very good tradition, but when that tradition begins to violate the principles of God and then he pulls out this practice which they had in which you know in another gospel is described as carbon that this money which was supposed to go and support your parents you take it and you give it to the Lord It's all day for Mom and Dad I can support you. I'm on the one hand. It sounds really pious. On the other hand, you know, we violated the principle that we have to honor our father and a mother that we have to support them by honoring them that we are to take care of them. And you know, this is seem later on in Paul's letter to Timothy the first letter to Timothy chapter 5 verse 8 he says but if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

That we are called to take care of our family.

I'm mindful. You know, when we speak about families families are the building blocks of society and suddenly in the church. And in the people of God families are very very important. But because we live in a fallen world, not everyone finds himself. in a good place

They may have broken families. I have come from broken families. Not everyone finds himself alive partner and you've ended up single. But you know this teaching in Boston 85 comes in the context of Paul teaching Timothy in running a church and the whole contacts. He speaks about taking care of widows in your midst and if you understand, you know the times in which they lived, you know, unfortunately because it was a patriarchal society you property passed down from the mail through the mail. And if you know, there's no mail within your immediate family passes on to the next closest male relative and so it would not be uncommon for a person lady who is widowed to suddenly find yourself destitute because maybe the relationship is broken down and it's gone to you know, the next brother and the brother doesn't want to support you and you found left destitute, maybe because you become a Christian and they have put you out of the family because they are not Christians the rest of the family and they want nothing to do with you until Paul taught that this is now the family of God. That you know, they say blood is thicker than water. Well, he teaches that the blood of the Lamb is sticker still feel that we are called to take care of the household of God as well. And so, you know for those of us who struggle baby with this concept of family because our families have not been what they like maybe a single parent. Maybe we we've struggled with single Hood. All we have not had a good example of a family in our own lives. This is the house of God in this is a family of God make a call to take care of each other.

But all of this is well and good. How do we understand who father God is and we know this year and you know, this Jesus came to Earth to show us who the father is. That's why when disciples asked him to teach them to pray. He taught them this prayer he said, Pray this prayer Our Father in heaven Hallowed be your name and it was revolutionary because although you know the people of God the Israelites understood the concept of God is father, but that intimacy the ability to call him Abba Father didn't really come until Jesus modeled it for the disciples and they began to see this relationship of God as our father and he introduced us to him. But as I've talked about fatherhood and Parenthood whether it's all relationship with them or them with us or how we have treated our parents are how we act as parents. You know, I think what's even more important is the word that Jesus spoke on that cross.

That has he hung there and he looked at the crowd that had crucified him.

He's out of these words father forgive them.

father forgive them and I think you know as I've been sharing each time we talked about each of the Commandments that the law is there and it's a guy to living in life and how it's ought to be but it's also a Bashan which it shows us how far we have fallen short. And I just spoke about the law.

Just as as law. You could very easily leave the touch and feel contempt. I thought you feel condemned because you have fallen short or you feel you know, elated and self-important because you feel you have kept this law just like that rich young man. But if you are honest and you look at the very heart of it, you understand the full implications of the Lord. I think none of us are justified by keeping the law. But that's not the final what because the law ultimately leads us to the gospel into the promised that God sent his son Jesus to live amongst us and ultimately to die for us to take the price of our sins upon himself on the cross. But also then to give us his righteousness and his Divine exchange and that's really what ultimately the resurrection is because the resurrection is a sign of God's answer to that prayer father forgive them for they know not what they do. His resurrection was really the Vindication of all that Jesus had done that the guilty verdict have been proclaimed over him was overturned at the resurrection. I forgive me I'm using a smaller. How does boss Testament scholar who look at this passage and look at the resurrection and it's annoying scholarly term for a packet for you. He says this Christ Resurrection was the de-facto Declaration of God in regard to his being just that, you know, the resurrection proves that God is just that Altima. Yes condemnation was upon Christ, but he didn't leave him condemned that he raised him to life because his quickening breath is quickening in itself, the testimony of Jesus as justification through suspending the forces of death operating on him declared that the ultimate the Supreme consequence of that reached its termination that Christ is the end of the law that Jesus overcame death and overcame sin. That's why he rose again on that Saturday in other words Resurrection had an old the sentence of condemnation. That's why we as Christians. Celebrate the resurrection why we as Christians Paul tells us if Christ was not raised from the dead. We are to be pitied above all men. Why the resurrection is so important to us that last week I talked about how we have moved out Sabbath from Saturday to the first day of the week to commemorate that Resurrection. And that is the word of his Grace Gospel. The law comes to kill to kill us of our self-conceit overinflated sense of our own justification or our own projects to determine our own righteousness. When he doesn't leave us dead in our trespasses and sin, he raised his ass to New Life In Jesus If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. The new has come. Let's bow our heads for what a prayer.

Gracious and loving Heavenly Father. We do. Thank you once again for your word. Because it is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path that Lord. It shows us. Where we have stepped off the path you have laid before us but also shines the way back that ultimately comes through your son Jesus and me. Thank you Lord for those of us who have entered into that relationship with your son. They're all this law is predicated on the fact that you have said I am the Lord your God who has delivered you and Lord. We have been delivered from Darkness into your Marvelous Light we give thanks to you for that Lord. I do pray for those in our midst to maybe have yet to make that Declaration of Faith have yet to cross that line of faith and I pray that in your own way Lord that you speak to them and that you lead them and guide them into all truth so that at the right time lord, they would respond to that call that you make to each and every one of us come to me. All you who are weary and heavy-laden. And I will give you rest.

Thank you, Lord. Ask and we pray all this in your son's most precious name and all God's people say. Amen Let stand and declare our faith in