Sermon Tone Analysis
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HOW TO AVOID ARGUMENTS
Developing a Faith That Works - Part 10 of 15
James 4:1-10
Rick Warren
My Idea: "Growing believers submit to God's leadership and resist Satan's setbacks in their relationships"
James 4:1-10
I. THE CAUSE OF ARGUMENTS:______________________________
"What causes fights and quarrels among you?
Don't they come from your desires that battle
within you?" (v. 1)
THREE DESIRES
* The Desire _______________ (Possessions)
"You want what you don't have ... you long for what others have ..." (vs. 2 LB)
* The Desire _______________ (Pleasure)
"... you want only what will give you pleasure" (vs.
3b LB)
* The Desire _______________ (Pride & Power)
"Pride leads to arguments ..." Prov.
13:10 (LB)
Why aren't our desires fulfilled?
(vs.
2-3)
"You do not have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because
you ask with wrong motives..."
Conflict with God (vs.
4-6)
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
(vs.
6)
10-ii
II.
THE CURE FOR ARGUMENTS: ______________________________
"God ... gives grace to the humble.
Humble yourself before the Lord, and he will lift you
up." (vs.
6 & 10)
Steps to Defusing Conflict
1. _____________________________________________
"Submit yourselves then to God ..." (vs.
7a)
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart."
Col 3:15
2. _____________________________________________
"Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (vs.7b)
"In order that Satan might not outwit us, we are not unaware of his schemes." 2 Cor.
2:11
3. _____________________________________________
"Come near to God and He will come near to you." (vs.
8a)
"He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the
Lord."
Isaiah 26:3
4. _____________________________________________
"Wash your hands ... purify your hearts ..." (vs.
8b)
"Let there be tears for the wrong you've done."
(vs. 9 LB)
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better
than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the
interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ."
Phil.
2:3-5
HOW TO AVOID ARGUMENTS
Developing a Faith That Works - Part 10 of 15
James 4:1-10
Rick Warren
We're going to be looking at what James has to say on “How to Avoid Arguments”.
As I talk with
couples one of the most common complaints I hear from people is "We just can't seem to get along.
We argue so much.
We love each other.
Why is it we have major blowups over such minor issues?"
I
talk with parents who say, "With my kids there is constant tension.
I don't understand why we're
always in an argumentative mode."
James talks about that.
In this passage on how to avoid arguments he gives us both the causes and the
cures -- the reason for argument and the remedy.
At the very start of this message, think of the person that causes the most conflict in your life.
You're
going to get the most out of this message if you think about the person who causes conflict in your life
and how to avoid arguments with them.
James doesn't beat around the bush.
He gets right to the point.
He doesn't waste any time.
Long
before modern psychology came along he had some profound insights on the cause of conflict.
4:1
"What causes fights and quarrels among you.
Don't they come from your desires that battle
within you?" James says that the cause of arguments is conflicting desires.
When my wants conflict
with your wants the sparks are going to fly.
Conflict starts early in life, even before you could talk.
Have you noticed that a baby, if his needs are
not instantly gratified, he lets you know.
You can argue even if you don't know how to talk.
Marriage has built in conditions for conflict.
Think about the things you expected of your spouse before
you got married -- how idealistic and unrealistic you were about marriage.
What a rude awakening that
was, the day you woke up!
All marriages go through three stages: Stage one, happy honeymoon:
Stage two, the party's over; Stage three, let's make a deal.
At Stage three you have to learn how to
handle arguments because it's going to happen.
There are going to be conflicting desires.
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