You Gotta Be Dead
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me to heaven?" "No!" the children answered. The teacher was encouraged. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me to heaven?" Again the answer was, "No!" "Well then," he said, "If I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?" Again they all shouted, "No!" "Well then," the teacher asked, looking out over his class, "how can I get to heaven?" A boy in the back row stood up and shouted, "You gotta be dead!"