Anger Management
Colossians • Sermon • Submitted
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· 4 viewsIn Colossians 3:8, the apostle Paul provides two directives for battling relational sin: you lay it aside, and you lay it all aside.
Notes
Transcript
STOP FIGHTING!
STOP FIGHTING!
Have you ever had somebody who just gets on your last nerve? Like, they may not even be doing anything necessarily wrong, but they just annoy the living daylights outta you. Like, when they talk, your eyes just start to roll because you just cannot stand to be around them. You guys don’t mesh well, and your personalities clash, and you’d be perfectly fine if they just never showed up in your life again! Anybody been there before?
Well, the Bible has no category for that, but we sure wish it did though, right? Because culturally, it’s okay and affirmed and pretty broadly accepted that we can pick and choose who we wanna be around and when we wanna be around them purely based on a superficial level.
What do I mean by that? Well, listen to a few reasons that we typically give for why we don’t like being around somebody and you’ll see what I mean.
“We have nothing in common! That guy is an absolute weirdo!”
“She’s always asking me a bunch of questions! What is this, an interview?”
“You know, I can’t stand the way that dude eats his food. It doesn’t bother me though, I’m just sayin’...” I’m definitely not speaking from experience or anything.
In contrast though, what are the reasons we usually enjoy being around somebody?
“Wow! Sally just gets me. She likes all the same things I do!”
“Bro. Connor is that dude. Can you believe he can juggle four oranges at the same time?” That’d be pretty impressive to me, anyway.
Or it goes something like this, right? “Guys. I’m convinced. Amy is the one. She plays Call of Duty Black Ops 1, 2, and 3! Buying a ring today.” The list goes on, but you get the point. We’re shallow!
The problem is, it’s not supposed to be that way in the body of Christ. In fact, most people in the body of Christ are people that on a superficial level, we’d probably never spend any time around. If you’ve been a believer for some time now, then you know what I mean. A lot of my closest brothers and sisters in the church are people you wouldn’t have caught me dead around before the Lord saved me. And that’s the beauty of adoption into God’s family!
However, despite our mutual connection around the gospel and fellowship in the Spirit, we still have to acknowledge that a lot of us don’t have a lot in common. Plus, even though believers are sinners saved by grace, we’re still sinners. That means we’re gonna get on each others’ nerves sometimes. We’re gonna offend each other sometimes. Dare I say it? We might even… sin against each other sometimes. Say it ain’t so!
And when those situations occur, we have two options, really:
Either resolve the conflict, or tension, or offense with that brother or sister in a godly way,
Or resolve the conflict, or tension, or offense with that brother or sister in an ungodly way. That could go a number of ways.
Ken Sande has a wonderful book called Peacemaker. In it, he talks about two types of people in conflict: peace-breakers and peace-fakers. Peace-breakers typically lash out in anger and do or say hurtful things in conflict. Peace-fakers typically don’t express their anger and act like everything is okay, when on the inside they’re festering in bitterness. Both are bad!
But in contrast, there’s a third category: peacemakers. Peacemakers apply biblical truth to their own hearts first and then confront brothers and sisters in conflict in a godly manner. However, they have to apply truth to their own hearts first. Don’t miss that.
And that dynamic is where Paul’s words in are going to be extremely helpful for us. Open up your Bibles to , if you will. Tonight, we’re going to spend some time in , where Paul provides two directives for battling relational sins: lay them aside, and lay it all aside. Follow along as I read.
8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
LAY IT ASIDE ()
LAY IT ASIDE ()
INTERPRETATION
Notice the beginning of verse 8, where we find the first directive for battling relational sins: lay them aside… lay them aside.
“But now put them all away...”
With “But now”, Paul is transitioning from verses 5-7 to a new thought here in verse 8. The command is similar, but not quite the exact same.
Up till now in Colossians, Paul has methodically laid out his argument in three segments:
In chapter 1, he reminded the Colossians of the wisdom of the true gospel;
in chapter 2, he revealed to them the folly of any false gospel;
and now in chapter 3, he’s reminding them to show the fruit of the true gospel.
Here in Chapter 3, verses 1-17 really deal with how the true gospel transforms our lives… transforms our lives. In what way? As believers, we are called to redirect and reorient our lives to be centered around and directed towards Christ. Christ’s return and our future reign with Him in the kingdom to come is what must power that redirection and reorientation. And, the reality of our hope that is to come is what encourages and empowers us to put to death the sins we commit on a vertical level in our bodies, and the sins we commit on a horizontal level in the body. Those horizontal sins in the body, meaning the body of Christ, are where we find ourselves tonight.
Notice the command here in the start of verse 8:
“Put them all away...”
"Them” here is in reference to what Paul just said back in verse 7. Look back a few verses, starting in verse 6:
6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.
“These” in verse 6 is in reference to “what is earthly in you” back in verse 5. Remember these from a few week ago? Immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. With that in mind, go down to verse 7 again.
“In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.”
Key word there: once. As in, formerly. As in, back then, but not now! So, because of that reality, Paul says what he says in verse 8:
“But now you must put them all away...”
The Greek word for “putting away”, “casting off”, or “laying aside”, is the driving force of this entire verse. Just like the command to “put to death” in verse 5, this command is in the aorist tense.
This verb is also in the middle voice. It’s pretty similar to the active voice, but the difference is this: the middle voice communicates that the subject is acting on itself or acting for its own benefit.
EXPLANATION
Now, often, the aorist tense is communicating something that happened in the past. So is Paul saying that the Colossians already cast off their sins? No, that wouldn’t make any sense! In this context, the aorist tense is used to show this command to “lay aside” was to be obeyed immediately and more importantly, to be obeyed completely. Total and full removal of the old man.
Here, this Colossians were being commanded to cast off the sins that they themselves had been committing… That’s why Paul wrote in the middle voice - they were being called to lay aside themselves. Understand it like this: like dirty clothes after a long, hot day, the Colossians were to cast off, or lay aside, the deeds of the flesh.
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
nderstand it like this: like dirty clothes after a long, hot day, the Colossians were to cast off, or lay aside, the deeds of the flesh.
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
IMPLICATION
The point Paul was making here is that the Christian life is a transformed life. In light of the spiritual realities of death to sin through repentance and resurrection to righteousness through salvation, believers should be displaying that death to sin and resurrection to righteousness in their worship and in their everyday lives!
The false teacher in town that Paul dealt with back in chapter 2 wasn’t disagreeing with Paul on the realities of salvation. Where he was going haywire was on the practicalities of sanctification… the process of living more like Christ. The false teacher was insisting that holiness is gained by living a strict lifestyle. But Paul is proving here that holiness is gained by living a holy lifestyle.
The main difference between fake faith and real faith is that real faith grows. I’ve been working at a tree nursery for Mr. Dale over the past couple of months, and I’ve learned something absolutely mind-blowing about living trees and dying trees: dying trees don’t grow! Crazy, right?
No! We know better! That’s obvious! But how often do we lack that type of clarity when it comes to the Christian life? A lot of times, we’re seeking and searching and desperately wanting to know if we’re really saved, if we’re really in Christ. But getting clarity is actually rather easy: Am I living more like Christ each day, or not?
Assurance of salvation really only comes by way of growth in grace. And there’s only one way to grow in grace: by following the formula Paul’s laying out here in , and throughout all of verses 1-17, really.
And what does Paul say the first step is to displaying the fruit of the true gospel? Put off the deeds of the flesh… put off the old man. Is that we do in our own lives? Are our lives marked by a continuing removal of the patterns and practices we walked in as unbelievers or are they marked by continuing approval of sinful practices and of those who do them?
This 1st step of spiritual growth can often be the hardest, because it requires sacrifice, right? We have to give up the things we’ve indulged in for years and years and give it up completely. It’s like a drug addict going cold turkey after indulging in that substance for years on end! That’s painful. If you’ve been around anyone as they get off a drug or talked to someone who’s done it, the withdrawals can be steep and severe. But, as believers, we’re called to persevere through that pain and internal persecution from our flesh. Why? Because of the salvation we’ve received!
The Eternal King of the Universe is the One who accomplished our salvation, and when He did that, He made us a new creation, and sealed us for the day of redemption with the Holy Spirit. That means the 3rd Member of the Trinity is living within you and me if you’re a believer. So the ability to strip off the old man is there, because the Holy Spirit is dwelling within the believer. He is willing and He is able. The question is, are we?
If the answer is yes, then we don’t have to look much farther to see where to start. In the rest of verse 8, Paul delivers the second directive for battling relational sin: lay them all aside… lay them all aside.
LAY IT ALL ASIDE ()
LAY IT ALL ASIDE ()
INTERPRETATION
“… anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
We just saw how we’re supposed to battle relational sin. Now, Paul moves on to what relational sins we’re supposed to be battling and where we need to be doing battle.
Notice the end of the verse: the place we’re casting off sin is the tongue!
“from your mouth.”
I think every one of us can think of far too many moments where our words get us into trouble. I think that’s the story of my life. I talk way too much, way too fast. And way too often, that gets me into way too much conflict, which just exposes the fact that I’ve got way too much sin in my heart that I’m haven’t battled yet.
If you think I said the same thing way too much, just wait because there’s way more where that came from. Okay, I’m done now. But really - this is obviously a huge problem because Paul makes a point to emphasize the fact that these sins need to go! They’re just not compatible with spiritual growth.
First on this new hit list of sins is anger. “Anger” here means what it says: anger! It’s actually the same exact word that Paul used back in verse 6 in reference to God’s wrath. In this context, it’s referring to an anger that’s extremely emotional. It’s a state of strong displeasure.
EXPLANATION
Now, the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. We know that from . So this anger Paul’s talking about is definitely not sanctified. So what is it? It’s worldly! It’s earthly! It’s demonic! - what happens when we get bitter towards someone? It reveals the anger in our hearts. What happens when our cravings for significance don’t get fed? The anger in our hearts comes out on display.
This specific list is interesting because Paul flips the switch from verse 5: here, Paul starts with the internal, and moves his way out towards the external. Understand it like this:
Like old clothes after a long, hot day, the Colossians were to cast off, or lay aside the deeds of the flesh. After addressing sins that affect our vertical relationship with God in verse 5, Paul’s now condemning sins that affect our horizontal relationships with others. The chief offender and the first offender? Anger.
8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!
Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
22 A man of wrath stirs up strife,
and one given to anger causes much transgression.
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
IMPLICATION
I wanna camp out here because Scripture has a lot to say on this issue. Anger is a pretty big deal, and like we just heard in , it’s the root of a lot of sins!
We gotta be honest here - the hardest part about dealing with anger is that we never wanna admit that we’re actually angry! I’m that guy. I used to always pride myself on being someone who “never gets offended”, who “isn’t easily bothered”, but yet I’d be the first person to bring up a grudge from 3 years ago when the opportunity came. My main problem was that I never wanted to deal with my anger, because I was too proud to call it that.
How can we know if we struggle with anger? Well, there’s quite a few ways, and they all come up in situations with other people! For example:
Am I conflict-avoidant? Sometimes, that can be a fear of man issue, yes. We can be afraid of others’ reaction when we try to talk to them about a sin issue in their lives. But that’s implying that when we get in conflict, it’s mostly about spiritual things. More often than not, we take personal offense at something somebody does, and rather than talk to them about if we can’t overlook it, we dwell on it, and bitterness grows. If that’s me, then that’s proof I struggle with battling anger in my heart.
Do I avoid confrontation?
Do I get in arguments often? I used to struggle here heavy. I’d always say, “Oh, I don’t like to get in arguments,” but as soon as I’d meet someone as strong-willed as me, we’d get involved in multiple knock-down, drag-em-out verbal fights about literally anything and everything. What did that prove? That I’d get angry in my heart at anyone who I perceived would dare to challenge my intelligence and superiority over them. Wicked stuff. The reality is that if we get into arguments a lot, it’s probably proof that we struggle with anger in our hearts because of out-of control pride.
And sometimes, we forget how strongly the Bible talks about anger. Take for example:
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.
Yikes! Anger is equivalent to murder in God’s eyes. Is that how we look at the anger in our hearts? Or do we dumb down how big of a deal it really is? On a macro level, do we define sin the way God defines it, or do we redefine it so we can remain comfortable in it? If so, that’ll lead to the next sin on Paul’s relational hit list: wrath.
INTERPRETATION
This word for wrath” is different from how God’s wrath was defined back in verse 6. If anger was referring to a state of intense displeasure, this word “wrath” is even stronger. It’s talking about rage… absolute indignation.
EXPLANATION
So - the first relational sin Paul commanded the Colossians to lay aside was anger. The second? Wrath.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
19 A man of great wrath will pay the penalty,
for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.
28 When they heard this they were enraged and were crying out, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!”
IMPLICATION
Friends, this is the inevitable outcome of allowing anger to linger in our hearts. It produces wrath!
Think of it like heating up spaghetti in the microwave. Everything is fine and dandy until you leave the plate in there too long, and the next thing you know, the sauce pops and your microwave looks like a slaughterhouse. What happened? Too much heat for too long caused things to explode. Anger and wrath work the same way.
Having “blow-ups” or “episodes” is not a commendable trait in Scripture. In fact, it’s not commended anywhere at all. But how frequently are our lives marked with them?
Our problem is that we’re used to getting what we want, so when we don’t, we tend to throw tantrums like children. Why is that? We get angry because we don’t get what we want, and we throw a fit because God didn’t to give it us in that moment.
So we have to ask ourselves, how prone are we to throwing spiritual temper tantrums? It’s embarrassing, but we do it pretty often, don’t we? Instead, we need to battle so that it doesn’t progress into the third sin on the relational hit list: malice.
INTERPRETATION / EXPLANATION
“Malice” here is basically the outworking of evil. Some commentators define it as a mean-spirited or vicious attitude or disposition. Often, when anger is coddled, and wrath is encouraged, the next thing to come up is malice.
3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.
1 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. 3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.
1 So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. 2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
EXPLANATION
FDSFS
IMPLICATION
Malice sounds nasty, and that’s because it is. The reason why we have trouble identifying it is because we have trouble being honest about it when it’s there. Why? Because we like to turn our brains off when we’re sinning against other people!
Paul’s telling the Colossians here that they have no business carrying out evil towards others. What does that look like? Plotting out ways to do wicked things to someone.
That could manifest itself 100 different ways. But here’s a few quick ones to think through:
Malice can look like consistently making fun of others.
Malice can look like seeking opportunities to make snarky comments to others.
Malice can also look like consistently freezing someone out of conversations.
All in all, the principle is this: we need to be extremely wary of our own hearts and our motives in what we do, especially in what we do to and with those that we don’t like as much in the body.
INTERPRETATION / EXPLANATION
The next sin Paul mentions is slander. “Slander” is reviling, or disrespect. It’s the word that our English word “blaspheme” comes from. Basically, when malice is left unchecked, it often leads to slander.
20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.
IMPLICATION
This is an area that all of us have a penchant for. In our culture, it’s almost a badge of honor! When we make fun of each other on social media or in group chats, it seems like that’s the way to get respect and adoration from our friends! But what does that show about us? That we find significance in disrespecting the character and lives of those we know.
Guys and girls have a hard time with this, don’t we?
Guys - as soon as there’s a new guy in the ministry that we don’t mesh with, what do we do? We look for any possible way to make jokes about them, cast doubt about certain aspects of their character, etc.
Girls - often, we can have strong preferences, and as soon as someone starts to step on those, or offend in any of those areas, we immediately start to cast doubt on their character in subtle ways. My little sisters at the Everett home have taught me well in this area.
All in all though, the reason we slander is always the same, isn’t it? Jealousy. We get provoked because in our pride, we think we matter. And when our egos are challenged, we get angry. And when we get angry, we lash out. Paul is saying here that there’s no room for that in the Christian life.
IMPLICATION
FDSF
INTERPRETATION
Lastly is obscene speech. This is basically filthy speech. Garbage. Foul language, etc.
EXPLANATION
FDSFS
IMPLICATION
And this is pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
What’s interesting is that obscene speech follows slander. Why is that? Simply because when we slander others in our words, we have to know that we’ve been stewing in anger for a long time at that point. Going back to the microwave analogy - eventually, it bubbles over and boom - language we never thought we’d use begins to come out. At that point, it’s already too late - the damage has been done and we are reaping what we’ve sowed in our hearts.
However - it ought not to be that way. Rather than indulging in anger, we’re called to indulge in encouragement. needs to be our life verse when it comes to battling these sins of the tongue:
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
START SERVING!
START SERVING!
So - our time in is coming to an end. We’ve seen two directives for battling relational sins: lay them aside, and lay them all aside.
But the question is this, right? What now? What do we do once we’ve put off these horizontal sins? We display horizontal righteousness! How? Start serving!
Phil. 2:
1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
The way to become a contributor to the body rather than a cancer is to serve. So, as we all lay off the wicked deeds of the flesh that come from our mouth, let’s use our mouths as a vessel for building up rather than tearing down. Let’s pray.