Sermon Tone Analysis

Overall tone of the sermon

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Emotion
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Joy
Sadness
Language
Analytical
Confident
Tentative
Social Tendencies
Openness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Emotional Range
Anger
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We want to talk about relationship health… especially as we go into the holidays.
We want to be wise in our relationships.
During the holidays we will either be visiting people or have people visiting us and sometimes, it can make us crazy.
We have all done crazy stuff … most of the time unintentionally.
Guy eating the peanuts … woman said that’s ok because she can’t chew them after she sucked the chocolate off of them...
Being wise won’t get rid of your problems, but we if can be wise in how we treat people, it will minimize our problems.
Being wise is a way of relating to others.
(13)… it’s something you do.
Whether or not you are wise or not can be seen in your relationships… actions, not words.
Typical ways we relate to others in foolish ways (14-16)
Bitterness
Jealousy
Selfish ambition
Everyday in every relationship you are planting seeds… either seeds that build others up or tear them down.
6 Things You Should Never Do
James 3:17 gives us a check list.
1. Don’t Compromise Your Integrity
Pure = uncorrupted, clean, unpolluted...
Being wise begins in the heart with integrity.
Why is integrity first?
Because all relationships are built on it… on trust.
There is no trust without truth.
Honesty is the foundation of relationships.
You have to be honest with people.
ILL - Dr Leonard Keeler invented the Lie Detector.
He tested over 25000 people and determined that people are dishonest by nature.
We lie to ourselves more than anyone else.
Be honest… don’t violate your conscience or compromise your convictions.
2. Don’t antagonize people.
Wise people are peace loving.
We need to be peacemakers, not trouble makers.
Work at maintaining harmony… pray about it.
Don’t look for disagreements.
Dont walk around defensive
Don’t push peoples buttons… or egg them on… If you know them, you know what sets them off, stay away from it… it’s not worth it.
Don’t let yourself get baited by some internet troll either.
3 Foolish responses that provoke anger
Comparing
Why can’t you be like… You’re just like…
Condemning
don’t lay on the guilt… You should be ashamed of yourself…
Contradicting
How many of you like for someone to contradict everything you say?
Me either!
Being wise in relationships means not sweating the small things…
Ever done or said something stupid when you were angry?
when you get angry, your intelligence goes out the window.
So to be wise in relationships.... don’t antagonize people.
3. Don’t minimize other’s feelings
wise people are gentle … courteous and considerate.
We are to be mindful of others feelings.
Being Considerate is the antidote to 2 foolish mistakes we make in relationships.
1.
We react to what people SAY and ignore what they’re Feeling
2. We invalidate the feelings of other when we don’t feel the same.
People act like if they don’t feel what you feel, then your feelings are illogical and wrong…
It’s cold ion here… no it’s not
I fell ugly … that’s stupid
I’m afraid… you shouldn’t be...
Feelings are not right or wrong, they are feelings.
Acknowledge other people’s feelings.
Never Belittle other’s feelings.
If you only had a brain...
Don’t play Psy… The reason you feel… that’s condescending.
Don’t play, my day is worse than your day game… Both of you had a bad day… now make it better.
Allow your spouse to wake up grumpy… don’t minimize it.
4. Don’t criticize their suggestions
willing to yield to others… Open to reason… allows discussion.
GK - eupeithes - Not Stubborn or defensive.
Practice being a good listener.
Don’t cut people off… let them have their say… don’t jump to conclusions.
Don’t be the person that says, don’t confuse me with the facts… My mind is made up.
or When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
You can even learn something when people have stupid ideas… Just smile and don’t interrupt.
Most of us are over-sensitive to other people’s suggestions.
Learn from criticism.
Don’t criticize others… even a broken clock is right 2 times per day.
5. Don’t emphasize others’ mistakes
Instead show some Grace to people when they blow it.
Who is the wisest person in all of creation?
God… Who is the most merciful?
God
Be full of mercy and good deeds toward other people.
Mercy gives people what they need, not what they deserve.
How do you rate on showing mercy?
Do you point out every fault… go historical every time you get into an argument.
That thing that really bugs you… LET IT GO.
6. Don’t have disguised intentions.
doesn’t show favoritism and is always sincere…
GK - Adia kritos & Anypo kritos - without hypocrisy…
Always be sincere and don’t show favoritism.
This means we don’t lie to them, cheat them, or try to trick them.
Be sincere… don’t fake it.
Two places we often fake it… Online & dating...
Be real in your relationships… without hypocrisy…
Conclusion
How wise are you in your relationships?
Do you compromise your integrity?…
antagonize people… minimize feelings… criticize suggestions… point out mistakes… disguise your intentions...
If you don’t wise up, you will keep making the same mistakes and remain in a lot of conflict.
How do you become wise in your relationships?
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