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NEHCC Sermon - 6-8-08 - Love, Lust And Laxity

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Sermon – Love, Lust And Laxity

Scripture –     2 Sam 13:23-33



2 Sam 13:23-33

23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king's sons. 24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, "Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant." 25 But the king said to Absalom, "No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you." Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. 26 Then Absalom said, "If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us." And the king said to him, "Why should he go with you?" 27 But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. 28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, "Watch now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, 'Strike Amnon!' then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant." 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled. 30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, "Absalom has killed all the king's sons, and not one of them is left!" 31 So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother, answered and said, "Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead." NKJV

As we review parts of the life of David we have crossed a line that brings a dramatic change to his life.

God has interpreted David’s action around the sin of adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah as an act of despising Him (2 Sam 12:10) and causing other nations to Blaspheme Him.

Last week we talked about God being a “just” God. He must be “just”, but He chooses to be merciful. As a just God, sin must be paid.

In God’s mercy He did not take the life of David, but in His justice He told David what the consequences of his sin would be.

2 Sam 12:10-12          

1.    10 Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.'


2.    11 Thus says the Lord: 'Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house;


3.    And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.'"


4.    The child also who is born to you shall surely die. (2 Sam 12:1)


The fourth consequence listed was the first to happen. The child died. But God in His forgiveness and graciousness allowed David and Bathsheba to have another child and God loved him with a special love at birth.

God could have said that they would never have any children together but instead applied mercy. The price for the child was paid and it was over.

Today we will look at the first consequence listed come true.

1.  Therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house

I didn’t read the whole story with intent on telling you the background leading up to our focus passage


Chapter 13 opens with the eldest son of David, Amnon, thinking he was in love with his half-sister, Tamar for she was very beautiful. He “loved” here so much that he couldn’t eat or sleep. He in fact was losing weight over her. His cousin and he devised a plan to get him alone with his sister, Tamar and when that happened He forced himself upon her causing her great shame. This despicable act initiates the fulfilling of this prophecy

After Amnon took her what he thought was deep love turned to deep hate. What sweetness he thought he would have turned to bitterness.  It was not love He had for Tamar but lust. The two are often confused.


Lust for someone very rarely turns into love for that person. Lust is generated by selfishness and base emotion. There really is not much care for the person on whom our lust is focused on, but we are driven by our own selfish desires.


It is better to choose to love and then mix lust as subservient to the love between the two of you.

Definition Lust - intense or unbridled sexual desire:  3 a: an intense longing.

Create an intense longing for your mate but keep a bridle on it

David had many children and the bible does not speak of their spiritual training.

I don’t know if you folks remembers the sermons I preach but if you can recall the one I preached on Mother’s Day about how Salome imitated her mother Herodias negative traits.

I believe that we can tell our children all the good things to do but they will watch us and soon imitate what we do.

David                                                                                             Amnon

1.      Was attracted by the physical beauty of Bathsheba.

2.      Coveted after Bathsheba                                             

3.      He took her to him by a measure of force

4.      He shamed Bathsheba (to possible death)

1.      Was attracted by the physical beauty of Tamar.

2.      He coveted/lusted for Tamar.

3.      He took her by force

4.      He shamed Tamar who was no longer a virgin.

5.      End result was death (two)                                                5.  End result was death (his)


The inability to control ones passion is having similar results.

Parents don’t know how fatal the consequences may be if in any instance their children follow their bad examples.


Amnon cast her aside and locked the door. Our young women need to learn the difference between a man’s lust and his love.

Tamar shamed and distraught goes to her brother Absalom’s home.     

2 Sam 13:19-20      19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? NKJV


I find it interesting that when Absalom see her the first question he asks her is very telling. Perhaps Amnon was notorious for such lewd practices and though young, had long lived a lewd life, which his father either, knew not or punished not; for a man could not, all of a sudden, arrive at such a pitch of wickedness as this. But is this his love for Tamar? No it is his lust as his fathers.


We may learn from it both the malignity of sin (unbridled passions are as bad as unbridled appetites) and the mischievous consequences of sin (at last, it bites like a serpent); That sins, sweet in the commission, afterwards become odious and painful, and the sinner's own conscience makes the sin repulsive.


2 Sam 13:21-22      21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. NKJV

David was very angry when he heard what happened but the scriptures do not record David’s actions to give Tamar justice.  Was it enough for him to be angry? He ought to have punished his son for it, and have put him to open shame; both as a father and as a king he had power to do it. But the LXX. here adds these words: But he saddened not the spirit of his son Amnon, because he loved him, because he was his first-born.


By David not addressing this issue, Absalom felt he would have to do so. In our homes today if the parents do not exercise their parental responsibility then the children will seek their own resolution.


Hatred has blossomed within the house of David. Absalom waited 2 years to get his revenge. David again was used as an unknowing participant. On the pretense of having a feast and merry good time, Absalom orders the killing of his half-brother by his servants. The prophecy is coming true.


I struggled with this lesson for a long-time. I asked myself if this is God’s design to fulfill the prophecy concerning the sword in the house of David. If that is the case then there was nothing David could have done to prevent it just as he could not prevent the death of the child. Here is the conclusion I have arrived at and I trust through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.


All the children involved are grown adults. David had 6 sons while living in Hebron for the first 7 years as king. He became king at age thirty.  Amnon, the oldest was probably born in those early years. The third son born in those years was Absalom so David was in his early thirties. Because some were born to different mothers their ages could have been very close.


I estimate David to be in his mid to late fifties, so that would make the oldest child at least in his mid twenties. These are young men responsible for their own actions.


Repeatedly it is mentioned that David loved his children. There is some suggestion that he did so to a fault. With multiple wives competing with one another and many from different nationalities, it may be an understatement that David had a dysfunctional household. David may have loved his children but he also may have been lax in raising them.


As a king how much time did he spend with the children growing up? Did they grow up in the fear of the Lord?

Loving children is not the same as raising children. Love is only part of their raising.


But my question was, is David share some blame for the actions of the children or was this all God’s doing and David could do nothing about it?

You have heard me say that one of the worst things that can happen is for God to do nothing.

The world and people left unto themselves will destroy themselves or cause God to do so.

Why was there a great flood.    

Gen 6:5        5 Then the Lord* saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. NKJV

Gen 8:21      Then the Lord said in His heart, "I will never again curse the ground for man's sake, although the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; …NKJV


I could mention Sodom and Gomorrah, the book of Romans and others. The point is that the heart of man is evil. Only the intervention of God can change the heart.


I believe that God may have withdrawn His blessings from David and He knew the course things would take.

If you take a car to the top of a street and put it in neutral and let it go down the hill, do you think you could make a pretty close prediction as to what will happen to the cars parked on each side?


Quote: Because God knows the future does not mean He is obligated to change it.


Without God in our lives we are doomed. What percentage of your prayers is asking God to intervene and change something or to bring something about?


That’s what I am talking about. All God has to do is do nothing. So the bad that comes into the world or into our lives may not come from God but may be allowed by God because of His judgments or chastisements.


That is where Jesus comes in again. The punishment for our sins has been paid; the chastisement that comes upon us for our disobedience is to correct us not to punish us.


When the payment for sin is satisfied; there is no more payment due.





Heb 10:8-18

8 Previously saying, "Sacrifice and offering, burnt offerings, and offerings for sin You did not desire, nor had pleasure in them"(which are offered according to the law),

9 then He said, "Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God."* He takes away the first that He may establish the second.


10 By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

11 And every priest stands ministering daily and offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.


12 But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God,


13 from that time waiting till His enemies are made His footstool.


14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.


15 But the Holy Spirit also witnesses to us; for after He had said before,


16 "This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,"*   


17 then He adds, "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."*  


18 Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.


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