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Forgiveness (pt. 3)
What Christ did for us he now want to do in us and offer through us.
NIV31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
The Scripture continue to tell us.
For many of us, we don’t want to do something or engage in something until we know how it will benefit us.
Before I buy in, before I commit, I want to know what is in it for me.
How will it benefit me?
NIV13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And forgiveness, like most things in life that are good for our relationships and bring us health, may not come easy or natural but it does serve us well with long-lasting benefits.
Let’s recap some of those benefits that I mentioned last week.
Benefits of Forgiveness:
Forgiveness overcomes bitterness
Forgiveness helps you move out of pain
Forgiveness helps you increase your capacity to love
Forgiveness makes reconciliation possible
We all have had reason to carry offense and remain bitter about one thing or another.
The greatest difference for those who go further than others in their personal growth and maturity has to do with what we are talking about today.
Forgiveness.
Because until we truly cancel the debt that someone else owes us, the weight of unforgiveness will only drag us down.
Most of us realize that the bitterness we are experiencing is most likely only one sided in hurtful situations.
There will be plenty of other times where we will hurt others, but usually the one who gets hurt ends up in bitterness and unforgiveness all by themselves, all alone.
It’s time to stop letting what someone did to us in our past ruin our present moments and redirect our emotions and bandwidth to operate in God’s fullness for our future purposes.
They aren’t worth missing what God has for us.
God wants to help us release that offense and lay those weights down today.
Forgiveness also helps move us out of the pain.
This process allows us to get on with our lives.
Think of someone you know who is a bitter, unhappy person.
Have them in mind?
Is this person someone who forgives or someone who holds a grudge?
Likely they carry around their pain and let it turn to hate.
One of the benefits of forgiveness is that it overcomes bitterness.
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I believe I was a in high school, maybe my sophomore or junior year, I not sure which, but I remember I was on an extended fast (I believe with my family).
I was keeping a journal at the time recording what I felt the Lord was impressing upon my heart.
It was early on in the fast, the first week, I am only sure, when the Lord continually brought back to my memory my 4th Grade Elementary teacher, Mrs. Euriga.
Mrs. Euriga wasn’t a young teacher.
I had her daughter, Mrs. Waller as my 1st Grade teacher.
Mrs. Euriga’s grandson, Ryan, was even in our class, which should have made my terrible behavior even more embarrassing.
Somehow my behavior was fazed by that fact.
I was an elementary, private school hellion, mostly just mischievous wanting the attention and approval of my classmates as a valued class clown.
But I was a prime culprit in ring leading the students to be disrespectful.
It was 6 or even 7 years later now, and the Lord was convicting me.
I knew I needed to reach out to Mrs. Euriga and ask her for forgiveness for the way I had treated and disrespected her.
I knew that if I didn’t, I would be able to fully move on towards what God was wanting to do in my life moving forward.
There are times that God will reveal to us something we need to go back and make right.
In obedience, we go back, but it doesn’t demand that the outcomes are always going to be glamorous.
Sometimes, they may not acknowledge any wrong doing.
Other-times, they may not be at a place to forgive at all.
But regardless, we need to respond with obedient hearts to take ownership of our part (DO YOUR PART) in seeking forgiveness and reconciliation.
Leave the rest to God.
Again, MLK says...
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
When we take up an attitude of forgiveness, we see that our muscle memory is strengthened in our heart to protect us from offense.
Now, some of the things that used to bother us so much are like water on a ducks back.
It washes right off of us without any ill effects.
Forgiveness also helps move us out of the pain.
This process allows us to get on with our lives.
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
3.
a.
This second benefit is so closely associated with the third that I want to join them together in my explanation of how they work in our lives again.
Just like working our muscles makes them stronger, working through forgiveness makes our ability to love stronger.
Just like working our muscles makes them stronger, working through forgiveness makes our ability to love stronger.
You could think of that Dr. Seuss story, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”
Remember how the Grinch had a little heart, and then at the end of the story how his heart grew so big it broke the magnifying glass?
That’s a nice picture of how we can grow in our ability to love others.
What we are talking about today is not a sign of weakness, instead when we walk in meakness and work towards forgiveness we display a strength than imitates the Divine Nature of God like fewer acts could.
We’ve talked a lot about healthy relationships being safe.
It’s pretty hard to restore a relationship—to have it be safe when one partner is holding on to their perceived right to hurt the other back.
Reconciliation can’t happen fully without forgiveness.
Forgiveness takes courage and strength.
Forgiveness often takes more courage and strength than trying to get back at someone.
But as you may have heard, freedom isn’t free.
If we want to be free of bitterness and hate then forgiveness is the path to take.
BUT, how do we ask for or walk in forgiveness.
Now let’s talk about how to forgive.
The “how” of forgiveness depends on the magnitude of the offense.
Offenses come in different “sizes.”
Think about the kinds of hurts in two categories—the Majors and the Minors.
The minors are the less serious mistakes and offenses.
Forgive quickly
Accept each other’s imperfections
Remember your own flaws
The “Minors” are the everyday kinds of mistakes that we make.
Great relationships forgive minor offenses quickly.
In a great relationship there is a constant willingness to be forgiving of the other.
We are less judgmental and accept each other’s imperfections instead.
If we are truly walking in love, we will not seek to magnify the faults of others.
Instead, there is a right thinking that will lead to right acting in the way that we interact with one another.
We will allow love to work itself out into our lives, our relationships, so that faults, even sins (it says here) are covered.
Love is patient.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
This is a Christ-like love that what He has shown to us because of what He wants to do in us He can now do through us.
An atmosphere of acceptance makes the relationship a refuge.
A refuge is a place of protection from danger or distress.
When an attitude of genuine forgiveness permeates the relationship, you become a refuge for each other.
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