09(1Sam 25)A Doormat with Lace
True submission is a thoughtful and deliberate act. It is born of choice, not necessity. We are told to have the same attitude of Jesus (Phil 2:7-“he emptied himself”, 2:8-“He humbled himself”). These were deliberate acts on His part, not response of a man who saw himself as worthless.
There is a delicate balance of submitting ourselves to the will of God and as a result, subordinating our satisfaction to the needs of those around us.
NKJ Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
This is prefaced by verse 21:
NKJ Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
We see an example of submission gone wrong in the story of Abigail. (abba-gayil: “My father is joy”).
A. Her self-image was rooted in her status, not her own qualities. (1 Sam 25:3)
§ Many today carry with them a negative self-image despite their qualities, as though they have never looked in a mirror.
B. Here cold marriage was built by fear and distance. (1 Sam 25:19)
C. Her habit was to assume self-blame (1 Sam 25:23-24)
D. Her bitterness and hostility were suppressed (1 Sam 25:25)
§ This sharing of a spouse’s faults to others can leave someone open to an affair.
§ For the man, the idea of being a confidant and protector can be quite an ego boost.
§ For Abigail, the thought of a man listening and consoling can provide hours of fantasy.
All too often a woman concludes that if she could change her husband, or at least his actions, then life would be rosy. This is an illusion. More often than not, God is out to change us, not our circumstances. Real hope is in the fact that we have a God that can change us.
A. Know that you are loved (1 John 4:7-8)
B. Base Your self-acceptance on God (Hebrews 4:13).
C. God Wants our fellowship in spite of all He knows (Hebrews 4:16).
§ Hebrews 4:14-15 is sandwiched between not by accident.
§ We need to base our worth and acceptance on the person and work of Christ alone.
§ It is the work of Christ that allows us to approach God with confidence.
§ We gain confidence in knowing that our God does not just coldly understand we go through.