#1 To Love and To Cherish
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Introduction:
Introduction:
Series: Cherish
Series: Cherish
Text: & Song of Solomon
Text: & Song of Solomon
Introduction:
Introduction:
Illustration: In 2015, a 17-year-old girl named Khanittha “Mint” Phasaeng was crowned a Thai beauty queen. Shortly after winning, she began to received lucrative film, advertising, and television contracts. Upon her return home, she was photographed showing honor to her trash-collecting mother by kneeling at her feet.
SHOW PICTURE
Mint’s mother literally collected and sold trash for a living. Still dressed in the tiara and the colorful sash that marked her a celebrity in Thailand, she knelt down by the trash and honored her mother. She referred to her mother’s job as an “honorable profession” that kept food on the table and praised her for her commitment and care.
This is a picture of what happens when we truly cherish a loved one. Mint didn’t just send her mom a thank-you card or give her a half-hearted hug. She got down where people throw trash, got her dress dirty, and bowed down to a woman in the dress of a commoner.
This was a sign of respect, adoration, gratitude, and honor. She went out of her way to notice her mom, appreciate her mom, honor her mom, and in such a picturesque way, hold her mother dear.
You see, the way you treat your spouse acknowledges whether you cherish him or her or whether you have indifference or contempt toward him or her. To truly cherish something is to go out of your way to protect it, show it off, and honor it. We are wanting others to see and recognize the value of that which you see.
Sticky Statement: A cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Sticky Statement: A cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Cherishing your spouse will cause you to look at your marriage from entirely different angles.
Transition: How many of you stood at the altar and made vows to each other on your wedding day? I hope 100% of you.
One of the most common vows, which I would assume many of your repeated in some form, goes like this:
Illustration: I, Jason, take thee, Tania, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.
I would assume that most of us get the love part.
Give me some ideas of what it means to love in one word or a short phrase:
· Commitment
· Putting the other person first
· Service
· Sacrifice
But what does it mean to cherish your spouse? Is it a word that we simply tack on to love or something we say once at the wedding and rarely mention again?
The answer, no! The desire of this series of lessons is to help us understand what it is to cherish our spouse and the difference it will make in our marriages.
Again:
Sticky Statement: A cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Sticky Statement: A cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Learning to cherish each other will turn your marriage from an obligation to a delight. It moves from beyond a commitment to a precious priority.
Gary Thomas said, “Cherish is the melody that makes a marriage sing.”
What Does Cherish Mean?
What Does Cherish Mean?
Dictionary.com defines Cherish as:
1) to hold or treat as dear; feel love for; 2) to care for tenderly; nurture; and 3) to cling fondly or inveterately to.
to hold or treat as dear, 2)
Inveterately - Having a particular habit, activity, or interest that is long-established and unlikely to change; (of a feeling or habit) long-established and unlikely to change.
The whole idea of cherishing your spouse is not just something that was thrown in traditional vows, but is a Scriptural teaching. The English words cherish, cherished, and cherisheth are found in the KJV 4 times; 2 times in the OT and 2 times in the NT.
New Testament
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
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7 But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children:
The Greek word for cherish, also found just two times int he NT means:
1) to warm, keep warm, 2) to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care
Old Testament
2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not.
The Hebrew word for cherish occurs 12 times in the OT and can be defined as:
1) to be of use or service, or profit or benefit, 2) To be used, show harmony with, be familiar with, to know intimately.
Maybe you’re ask the question, “Isn’t making love with my spouse showing her that I cherish her?”
The answer: No!
Implication from - Having sex with one another does not mean that you cherish one another. However, mutually enjoyable sex would be a result of cherishing one another.
In the context of relationships/marriage, what does cherish mean?
In the context of relationships/marriage, what does cherish mean?
To cherish someone means:
You naturally want to protect them - could be physical, emotional, spiritual, or even reputation and health.
You’ll treat them with tenderness
You’ll look for ways to nurture and occasionally indulge them
You will hold them dear
You’ll want to showcase them
Over the next several weeks, we’ll specifically examine each of these ways in which you can cherish your spouse.
But let’s summarize it like this for today with a quote from Gary Thomas:
“Love is the nurturing aspect of marriage, while cherish is the ‘tasting’ aspect of marriage. Love meets the needs; cherish tickles the tongue.”
Transition: We’ve defined “cherish” by looking at its use in Scripture and definition from the dictionary. We’ve also briefly seen what it looks like to cherish someone. Over the next few minutes, let’s look at the pictures the Scripture paints to show us what it looks like to love and to cherish your spouse.
To Love and To Cherish
To Love and To Cherish
What is the difference to between loving and cherishing? We’ll let’s compare the famous biblical chapter on love () with a book of the Bible devoted to cherishing. (From the article “What Cherishing Your Spouse Really Means”, by Focus on the Family.)
Love is gracious and unselfish.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
- Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
Charity suffereth long, and is kind
The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., ). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.Patient and kind.
Cherish is about being enthusiastic and enthralled.
10 How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! How much better is thy love than wine! And the smell of thine ointments than all spices!
Song of Solomon 4:10
Love tends to be quiet and understated.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Cherish boasts boldly and loudly.
10 My beloved is white and ruddy, The chiefest among ten thousand.
Song of Solomon
Love thinks about other with selflessness
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
1 Corinthians
Love isn’t arrogant or rude. It doesn’t insist on its own way.
Cherish thinks about its beloved with praise.
Song of Solomon 2:14
14 O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, Let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; For sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.
Love doesn’t want the worst for someone.
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Cherish celebrates the best in someone.
Song of Solomon
15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; Thou hast doves’ eyes.
Love puts up with a lot.
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Cherish enjoys a lot.
16 His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
Love is about commitment.
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Cherish is about delight and passion
3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments Thy name is as ointment poured forth, Therefore do the virgins love thee.
Song of Solomon
In short, love and cherish complement each other. We could even say that they complete each other and often even overlap. If we, as spouses, commit pursuing cherish in our relationship, at the same time we’ll be come better at lovers that are better at loving our spouse.
Men
Men
Men, your wives don’t just want you to love them in the sense of being committed to them, they want you to cherish them. They want to hear and feel from you was Solomon said of his bride.
2 As the lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters.
7 Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.
9 Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; Thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, With one chain of thy neck.
Women
Women
Your husband wants to be cherished. You’ll find that a cherished husband is a happy husband!
Your husband wants to hear said of him what Solomon’s bride said of him.
3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, And his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Cherishing your husband will motivate you to pursue him and thus increase the excitement, love, and passion in your marriage. (Context of is a dream she had where her husband cannot be found.)
2 I will rise now, and go about the city In the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
Song of Solomon
Cherishing will help you dwell on his best qualities (not the things that annoy you) giving you greater satisfaction in marriage.
Song of Solomon
16 His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Cherishing your spouse is something that you can learn to do. Cherish is not a feeling that just comes and goes. It’s something you must learn to and choose to do. Remember:
Learning to cherish your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Learning to cherish your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
It has been said:
“Through the Biblical act of cherishing, we can empower our spouses to become who they are called by God to be, and in the process to become more of who we are called to be, creating a marriage that feels more precious, more connected, and more satisfying.” - Gary Thomas
Love is the backbone of biblical marriage. But cherishing your spouse puts a polish on love that makes in shine and gives a special sparkle to our life and marriage.
Let’s not let cherish be the forgotten word in our wedding vows, rather regular and integral part of our marriage relationships.
Discussions Questions
Discussions Questions
Other than your spouse, whom or what do you cherish? How would your spouse answer that question for you?
2. When was a moment in your life when you remember being cherished by your spouse, a family member, or a friend? How have you felt cherished by God?
When was a moment in your life when you remember being cherished by your spouse, a family member, or a friend? How have you felt cherished by God?
Group Activity
Group Activity
Part of understanding and exploring what it means to cherish one another is verbalizing what it means to be cherished. This may seem simple for some, but for others, it will require thought and maybe a few examples. So, take a few minutes as a couple to talk about what makes you feel the most cherished by people in your life. Is it a phone call or a message from a friend during the week? Is it sharing pieces of your story as you relate to another person? Is it spending time together outside of group time or sharing a meal together? What does cherish mean to you and ways in which you feel cherished.
3. Read aloud, again using volunteer readers. What does this passage say about the way God loves us and cherishes us?What is one action step you could take with your spouse as a result of this session?
When everyone is finished, share your best idea as a couple with the group.
What is one action step you could take with your spouse as a result of what you’ve learned in this lesson?
Pray
Pray
• Ask God to show you ways that he’s loved and cherished you as individuals and as couples.
• Ask God to allow this message of how to cherish to sink deep into your hearts and minds as you seek to deepen your love for your spouse.
Ask God to show you what it really looks like to cherish your spouse.