Desperate House Lives 01 - We Still Do
I. Introduction to “Desperate HouseLives” Series (2-3 mins)
Week #2: Who’s the Boss?
Week #3: Raising Children of Honor
Week #4: Women of Faith
Week #5: Men of Integrity
Week #6: As for Me and My House
III. Introduction to “I Still Do”
Opposites Lists (3 mins)
Transition: How can two people with so many opposite likes and dislikes get along much less stay married?
There may be a friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you seem to have more opposite characteristics than similar ones. Your family may find itself at odds over similar likes and dislikes as these. The people with whom you work or go to school will have as many varied interests as the number of people at your work or school. So how do you get along? How do you work well together? How do you stick together as a family? How do you stay married?
IV. The first thing to understand is: Following God’s principles is a choice.
A. This is true of every commandment in Scripture and regarding every sin of the flesh.
It is simply a matter of choice.
B. The way this applies in marriage is that it is a decision to be made before marriage, not at the ceremony. Do not make a decision of this magnitude without doing some homework.
Illustration: Pre-marital counseling (and some post-marital counseling) personality inventory testing.
This includes all areas that impact the marital relationship.
- Faith and its practice – the way some grow up going every Sunday to church versus others rarely going
- Intimacy – includes revealing your past, praying together, decision not to bad-mouth spouse to others, rules of intimacy – appropriate behavior
- Finances – tithing was the primary issue when we first got married. Debt is a common issue today.
- Children – to have or have not
- Career – How much are willing to invest in it? Are you willing to sacrifice it for your marriage?
- Long-range goals – Where do you see yourself, your spouse, your family 10 years from now?
V. The truth principle of marriage is this: What God has made one cannot be undone.
A. It is a choice to follow this truth
Sometimes this is extremely difficult to accept and to do. There may be some who are not spiritually to the point where they would believe that God has joined them with his/her spouse, couldn’t they argue that the marriage could be undone? Especially with “No fault” divorce and the low cost of divorce today?
B. A choice to not believe/follow this truth does not make it any less true. Divorce does not negate God’s union of two people in marriage. What does Genesis tell us?
Genesis 2:24 - For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
God hates divorce. And Jesus says that divorce was not acceptable in the beginning but that Moses permitted it because of hardheartedness. Divorce (with the exception for marital unfaithfulness) causes further sin. The reason so many second and third and subsequent marriages fail is because they are based in sin.
This is why it is critically important that marriage not be entered into lightly. It is something that must be prayed about and revealed by God. Not every day is rosy. As much as I love my wife, there are times where I do not like her very much. And as likable and lovable as I am, there are more times she does not like me!
(Like now!) The key to all of this is simply choosing - choosing to put the principles of God ahead of your own desires; choosing to obey before the struggle to obey begins; choosing to stay one…even when it feels like you are distantly two.
Marriage is the supreme example of Christ’s relationship with His people. He is faithful even when we are not. He does not divorce Himself from us, because He has chosen to love us and remain joined to us no matter how far from Him we go.