Sermon Tone Analysis

“I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink.

I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.

“Peace be to you.

The friends greet you.

Greet the friends, every one of them.”[1]

John’s third letter is to addressed to a man named Gaius, whom we rightly suppose to have been a congregational leader.

The letter addresses a departure from orthopraxy precipitated and perpetuated by a man named Diotrephes.

Diotrephes was apparently a church leader, either in the congregation to which Gaius belonged or to a church known to him.

In his position of congregational influence, Diotrephes exhibited abhorrent arrogance manifested through acting as a dictator within the congregation.

He refused to acknowledge written communication received from the Apostle John [*verse 9*], spoke ill of the work in which the Apostle was engaged [*verse 10*], and he refused to welcome itinerating missionaries, even going so far as to excommunicate church members who spoke in favour of receiving such servants of the churches.

John addressed Diotrephes’ aberrant behaviour and promised to confront him shortly.

Conversely, the Apostle commended Gaius as one who was faithful to the universal practise of the churches [*verse 5*], showing hospitality to those engaged in full-time service before the Lord.

Itinerating missionaries had testified to his love demonstrated through hospitality and generosity toward them and the work to which they were appointed [*verse 6*].

The purpose of the message is not to provide a thorough exposition of the brief missive, but to explore the truth revealed in John’s final statement.

A literal translation of the closing statement reads, “Greet the friends by name.”

Thus, the title of the message.

However, John uses a Greek idiom which really cannot be translated literally to capture the sense of what he is saying.

Therefore, in the English Standard Version we have the idiomatic translation which enjoins Gaius, the recipient of the letter, “Greet the friends, every one of them.”

We will be better equipped to serve together if we thoroughly understand the will of the Master for His people.

His will is expressed through the manner in which we treat one another within the Family.

Join me, then, in exploring the implications of the composition of the church and the manner in which we are to receive one another within the Body of Christ.

*A New Testament Church is Composed of Friends* — John informs Gaius that fellow Christians associated with the Apostle send their greetings along with the letter John is writing; and then the Apostle instructs Gaius to greet other Christians with whom He worships.

What is important for us in this message is to note that John refers to the fellow Christians with him as “friends,” and he speaks of those fellow Christians with Gaius as “friends.”

It is a powerful testimony of the ideal for a congregation—Christians are to be friends.

The Bible uses both the imagery of family and the imagery of friendship to instruct us concerning expected relationships among Christians, and especially the relationship of those who are part of the same congregation.

As is true of all analogies, these particular comparisons are not perfect, though they do reveal what a member of the community of faith should be able to anticipate in terms of relationship with other members within that particular community.

You may have heard at some time the old saw that avows, “You cannot choose your family; but you can choose your friends.”

In the normal course of life, one is born into a family.

However, our acceptance of others and the way we treat others will determine our friendships regardless of relationship.

Christians are children of a common Father, and as such we share much in common because we have each experienced the second birth.

However, John’s reference stresses a relationship that lies solely within parameters of our own choosing—we are to love one another, freely extending our friendship to those with whom we share this common Faith, and in turn accepting their friendship which will be offered to us.

We Christians are responsible to recognise that we are members of one Family, treating one another as brothers and sisters.

Unfortunately, we can and do treat family members unfairly on occasion, primarily because we can.

Husbands can be abrupt and harsh toward their wives, just because they can.

Wives can be thoughtless toward their husbands, because they know they can get away with it.

Similarly, children many times are careless in their treatment of parents, and vice versa.

Siblings often act unfairly toward one another, not considering the consequences of their actions.

In a similar manner, we often take fellow Christians for granted, treating one another in a most despicable manner and ignoring our spiritual relationship.

Friends, on the other hand, are not usually taken for granted, because we dare not jeopardise the relationship.

In other words, we treat friends differently from the way we treat members of our family.

I am not justifying the distinction; I am only observing that the distinction exists.

The Word provides us with considerable insight into the actions we should normally anticipate from friends.

A review of some well-known passages will assist us in thinking through our actions toward one another within the congregation.

The Wise Man has provided insight into what should be expected of friends.

He writes, “A friend loves at all times” [*Proverbs 17:17*].

Friendship certainly involves affection for one another, but friendship does not cease at the level of mere feelings.

Friends are friends because we and they have chosen to be such.

Therefore, friendship that is genuine does not depend upon how one feels.

Friends do not cease to love because they do not agree with what is said or thought; friendship runs much deeper than merely enjoying one another’s company.

Two other proverbs that give us further insight into friendship inform us:

 

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

profuse are the kisses of an enemy”;

[*Proverbs 27:6*]

 

and,

 

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad,

and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”

[*Proverbs 27:9*]

 

These proverbs are a reminder that a true friend is willing to risk friendship by speaking the truth in love, and the wise counsel of a friend who cares for our welfare is of greater value than the flattery and obsequiousness of an enemy.

A friend will hold us responsible to do what is right, rather than saying what is politic in order to make us feel good about ourselves.

A friend will be sufficiently concerned for us that he will tell us when we are wrong, warning us to do what is right so that we do not injure ourselves or the cause of Christ.

How deep is the love of friends within a New Testament congregation?

Jesus taught His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” [*John 15:13*].

Though we immediately recognise this as the standard for love within the Christian community, note that Jesus says that the sacrifice anticipated is for friends.

We would anticipate that a mother would lay down her life for her child, or that a father would lay down his life for his wife.

However, Jesus says that love is measure by willingness to sacrifice for one’s */friends/*.

Then, in order to ensure that we grasp the import of His words, He addresses those to whom He was speaking, “You are my friends if you do what I command you” [*John 15: 14*].

Those who are obedient to His Word are friends of the Master.

Those who are obedient to His Word will also share friendship with one another as they share in His friendship.

Friendship is integral to obedience to the Master, and it cannot be segregated or compartmentalised.

Friendship to the Master requires universality of friendship to all whom He calls “friends.”

Having established this truth, we should review some of the actions of friendship through contrasting the actions of those who dishonour such friendship.

In order to initiate this aspect of the discussion, I invite you to look again to the Proverbs of Solomon.

There, he has written:

 

“A dishonest man spreads strife,

and a whisperer separates close friends.”

[*Proverbs 16:28*]

 

Slander and gossip and dishonesty destroy friendships.

Those who profess to serve the Master must eschew all such actions.

Paul has taught those who walk as Christians, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

Then, placing a positive emphasis on the actions of friends, he writes, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” [*Ephesians 4:31, 32*].

Similarly, in the letter to the Christians of Colossae, the Apostle has written, “You must put away all “anger, wrath, malice, slander and obscene talk from your mouth.

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practises and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator” [*Colossians 3:8-10*].

In the context of the message, Paul teaches Christians that they must act as friends toward one another, and friends do not lie or permit their anger to overwhelm their gentleness.

There was a time when we were in the world, and at that time we were “foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.”

Things changed, however, for “when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Saviour appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that being justified by grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” [*Titus 3:3-7*].

Look to the Proverbs once more to see another action of friendship that must be fostered if we will be friends as God intends us to be.

 

“Whoever covers an offence seeks love,

but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

[*Proverbs 17:9*]

 

This is an iteration of a proverb concerning friendship I cited earlier: “A friend loves at all times” [*Proverbs 17:17*].

Genuine friendship, the love exhibited by Christians who live among fellow believers as friends, does not turn friendship on and off.

In a church I once served was a couple considered by many to be stalwarts of the Faith.

While on an extended vacation, their child, who was also a member of the congregation, became disgruntled.

Refusing to be mollified, the man and his family ceased attending services.

Their disgruntlement was so acute that they induced several others families to likewise cease participating in the life of the Body.

When the parents of that man returned to the community, they joined a whisper campaign against me, complaining that I was shutting their child out of the church.

Their child, they whined, had no place to go to church.

The plaint was a blatant lie, and they knew it.

However, their pique overwhelmed their concern for either the welfare of the congregation or for the glory of Christ.

In their arrogance, they descended into malice and envy and hatred because they were ruled by their passions.