Godly friendships help you grow.

Have you ever learned something surprising about yourself from a friend? Maybe it was when they said you had food on your face, or introduced you to a new hobby that you ended up loving, or finally pointed out that you’ve been spelling their name incorrectly for you entire frienship.

Has a friend ever helped you learn something surprising about yourself?

Isn’t it amazing how friendships can help us see things we weren’t able to see before?

Object Lesson | A rope and an inflatable tube

This series is called lifelines, because great friends are like flotation devices when we’re sinking. (Throw the lifeline)

When we know we’re sinking and are desperately looking for help, that’s great news! But have you ever been in trouble and not realized it? Have you ever had a “blind spot” when it comes to what’s best for you? (Blindfold student for story)

SO WHAT?

Story | Talk about a time a friend helped you see you were in trouble.

There are so may reasons why we need friends like that. We need friends to throw us a lifeline...

When we’re drifting. It’s not usually one sudden movement that gets us in trouble. It’s more like a series of bad habits that slowly pull away from who we want to be.

When we’re distracted. Little distractions can become big problems when they make us lose focus on the things that matter most.

When we’re drowning. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like you were drowning in your own life before, but I have. Sometimes life gets overwhelming, or too hard, or too sad, or too busy.

When we’re drifting, or distracted, or drowning, we are sometimes the last people to notice. So when we start to drift, or get distracted, or drown, we could all use a friend who’s wiling to disrupt us with their well-timed help, support, or challenge.

If you thought a friend might need to be confronted about their behavior, would you be more likely to say something or stay quiet? What are the pros and cons of both approaches?

There are a lot of bad examples of friendship out there, but we have one really great example of a friend we can look to - and that’s the kind of friendship Jesus gave to people. In this series, we’re looking at four times Jesus was a friend to someone who needed Him. Then we’re talking about what we can learn from Jesus’ example.

Luke 10:38–42 ESV

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:

How do you think you would have felt or reacted if you were Martha?

What did you notice about the way Jesus helped Martha grow?

Mary and Martha were two of Jesus' disciples. We use the term "disciple" a lot when we talk about Jesus, but it's important to remember that this term didn't begin with Jesus.

"Disciple" has a long history in the Jewish faith. A disciple is a student of a rabbi, or Jewish teacher. But being a disciple wasn't just about learning. It was about imitating the lessons and life of their teacher.

Mary and Martha knew Jesus was an important teacher — the most important Teacher ever, actually.

But all of that pressure must have gone to Martha's head because, when Jesus entered the house, she got distracted. Martha was so busy trying to make everything perfect for Jesus' visit that she wouldn't sit down and listen to Him teach. She went on a house-cleaning and food-preparation spree instead. Then she got really frustrated.

Maybe Martha was frustrated with her sister for not helping. Or maybe she was frustrated with herself for prioritizing the wrong things. Either way, she took her frustration out on her sister . . . and Jesus called her out on it.

A conversation like that is never easy. I imagine it must have felt a little embarrassing, both for Martha and anyone within earshot. But Jesus wasn't harsh, or impatient, or rude.

Jesus simply helped Martha see something she hadn't seen before. He gave her a chance to choose a different way.

Maybe Martha didn't know she had the option to simply sit with Jesus. A woman sitting at a rabbi's feet as a disciple would have been controversial in that time and place.

Maybe she thought it was her job to take care of everyone, and that she would have been a failure if she hadn't.

Maybe she was so in the habit of helping others that she had forgotten how to take care of herself.

So Jesus gently says, "Martha. Martha. It's okay. Sit with us for a while. Let's talk."

When Martha was drifting, distracted, and drowning in her self-imposed responsibilities, Jesus threw her a lifeline.

He helped her see something she had never seen before, and then He gave her a chance to grow.

This was a vulnerable moment. Jesus didn't condemn or shame Martha, but He didn't ignore the moment either.

Jesus saw the thing Martha couldn't see in herself, and then He invited her to make a change.

Jesus does the same thing for us, and He invites us to do the same thing for each other.

Last week we read a passage of Scripture that is so important I want to read it again.

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

We’re called to be imitators of God - remember that? So does that mean Jesus wants us to skip out on our chores for the rest of our lives? Um, that’s probably not the lesson here, no.

But if we’re supposed to be imitators of God, then it’s important to look closely at Jesus’ example to see how we can be more like Him in every area of our lives - including our friendships.

Just like Jesus gave Martha a chance to change and grow, we can imitate God in our friendships when we build friendships that help us grow.

Godly friendships give you opportunities to see things you can’t see in yourself. Then they challenge you to keep growing alongside people who love you and are cheering for you.

Why do you think it's so difficult to hear others tell us about the ways we need to grow?

Why do you think it's so difficult to talk to our friends about the ways they might need to grow?

Has a friend ever confronted you, but badly? What happened and why didn't it go well?

What is one area of your life that is better today because someone helped you grow? Who was that person and how did they help you grow?

NOW WHAT?

GODLY FRIENDSHIPS HELP YOU GROW

So where do you need to grow? Are you drifting, distracted, or drowning? Do you have the kind of friends who will help you see what you can’t see, so you can become who God has called you to be?

Maybe you have some bad habits you wish you could kick, and some good habits you wish you could develop.

Maybe a friendship or relationship has gotten complicated and you could really use some outside perspective to help you figure out what to do next.

Maybe you've been working toward a personal goal for a long time now, but now you feel stuck and could use a push.

Or maybe the way you act at church is inconsistent with the way you act everywhere else — you want to be consistent, but you're not sure how to start

Prayer | My Friend List

Take a minute to thank God for the friendships you have that help you grow. It's okay if this isn't a long list. If you're struggling to name even one person, use this time to ask God to bring a friend into your life who can help you grow. As you pray, thank or ask God for friends who . . .

Help you grow closer to God. Godly friends should invite you to discover more about your Creator and about God's purpose for your life.

Help you grow as a person. Godly friends should help you see your blind spots and weaknesses, and then help you make a change.

Help you grow in the way you love others. Godly friends should help you turn your focus outward, help draw you out of your comfort zone, and help you practice loving others.

In godly friendships, your friends should do this for you, and you should do this for your friends.

Response | Deep Water Pass

Now that you've had a chance to think about the people who have been lifelines to you (or the people you'd like to be lifelines for you), think about two people (one adult and one peer) you can invite to help you grow when you're in deep water.

When you're drifting, distracted, or drowning, who are two people you want to invite to throw you a lifeline? Let's take a moment and write a "deep water pass" to those people.

INSTRUCTIONS: Take a few minutes to let students write a handwritten card or a text message to two people (one adult, one peer) who they'd like to invite to help them grow. We've provided an image for your screen your students can use as a template, as well as two printable note card templates you can choose from.

Martha needed Jesus to throw her a lifeline so she could see what she wasn't seeing, and finally return to the feet of the God who loved her. When we care for each other the way Jesus cares for us, we'll learn to throw each other these same lifelines when we need them.

Remember, Godly friendships help us grow. So let's decide to grow in our friendships with God, and help each other do the same.

How can we become the kind of friends who help each other grow?

Proverbs 27:17 ESV

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

What's one way you'd like to see your friendships sharpen each other? How would you like to see this group to sharpen each other?What's one thing you can do this week to . . . grow in friendship with God? help a friend grow? invite your friends to help you grow?Martha needed Jesus to throw her a lifeline so she could see what she wasn't seeing, and finally return to the feet of the God who loved her. When we care for each other the way Jesus cares for us, we'll learn to throw each other these same lifelines when we need them.Remember, Godly friendships help us grow. So let's decide to grow in our friendships with God, and help each other do the same.

Remember, Godly friendships help us grow. So let's decide to grow in our friendships with God, and help each other do the same.