Godly friendships let you be real.

Andrew Sharpe

Lifelines • Sermon • Submitted 5 years ago

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WHAT?

Intro

In this series, we’re talking about how the best friendships (Godly friendships) are friendships that feel like “lifelines.”

They’re relationships we can hang onto, count on, and trust.

What does “real” friendships look like?

We’re going to talk about what it might look like to be “lifelines” to each other in our real-life friendships.

My favorite friendships are the friendships where it’s okay to be real - as in, real awkward.

Are you really friends if you haven’t swapped ugly awkward selfies?

But what do you think? What does real friendships look like?

What qualities make a friendship real?

We’ve probably all seen some pretty bad examples of friendships before. Maybe you’re feeling the effects of a not-so-great friendship right now. But the good news is that we have a model we can learn from as we try to figure out what real friendships looks like.

SO WHAT?

Illustration: finding comfort in a friend

Emphasize why you felt safe enough to be real with this friend.

This person was a real friend because they gave me a place where I could be real. With them, I knew I could be honest, vulnerable, and authentic. I knew I could be real an d still be loved, no matter what.

What are the places you feel most comfortable being yourself?

What’s something weird, awkward, or uncool that you do when you’re really being yourself?

Who is someone you can be real with? Why do you feel comfortable being real with them?

WE ALL WANT TO BE LOVED

Being real can be scary, right? It’s scary to be honest, vulnerable, and authentic with another person. If you’re real about who you are, will anyone still love you? Is the real you really lovable?

No matter who you are, what you’re like, or what you hide, we all have this in common: we want to be loved. But sometimes we’re afraid that if people really knew us, they wouldn’t really love us.

A real friendship should be a place where you know you can be real and you’ll always be loved. But not every friendship turns out that way.

Throughout this series, we’re going to look at four times Jesus was a friend to someone who needed Him. Then we’re going to talk about what we can learn from Jesus’ example.

John 4:1–29 ESV

1 Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John 2 (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), 3 he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. 4 And he had to pass through Samaria. 5 So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. 7 A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” 8 (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” 13 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” 19 The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” 27 Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” 28 So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”

John 4:1-29

This moment in Jesus’ ministry begins with Jesus traveling through a town called Samaria, a place Jews (like Jesus) usually didn’t want to visit. Because of their cultural and religious difference, Jews and Samaritans usually wouldn’t be caught dead talking to each other.

But because jesus is thirsty (and because He never upheld traditions that were rooted in hate or inequality), He stops at a well in Samaria to get a drink of water. There, he starts a conversation with someone - a Samaritan woman.

There’s a reason this woman is drawing water alone, during the hottest hours of the day, when the rest of her community had probably already picked up their water in the morning when it was cool.

This woman has something to hide, and Jesus knows it. He tells her to go get her husband, and then things get real.

We don’t know what happened to this woman’s husbands, but we know they are out of the picture. We also know that marriage in this time and culture was very different from today.

Today, marriage is a mutual decision between two people. But back then, women did not have the same power in a marriage relationship.

This woman wouldn’t have gotten married five times just for fun. This wasn’t a life style she would have chosen. Without a husband, this woman wouldn’t have been able to support herself financially. A husband was a woman’s protection from poverty and homelessness.

Can you imagine opening up to a complete stranger about the biggest, scariest, most broken part of your life? Me neither. But this woman opened up to Jesus.

Jesus knew her secret, but He pursued a relationship with her anyway. He wasn’t scared of her messiness or brokenness. When things got real, Jesus didn’t shame her, reject her, or get angry with her. Instead, He had a conversation with her, and then He told her the best news she had ever heard - that He was her Messiah (the promised Savior), there to make wrong things right.

She was so changed by her encounter with Jesus that she told her entire town about it. Jesus gave her a place where she could be totally real and totally loved, and it changed her life.

What’s one thing Jesus did for this woman that you would want a friend to do for you?

JESUS GIVES US A PLACE TO BE REAL

While there are so many things we could pull out of this passage, here’s just one I want us to think about today: Jesus gave this woman the gift of real friendship, and He does the same for us.

No, this isn’t kid of friendship that involves after-school hangouts or year-long Snapchat streaks. This kind of friendship that say, “You can be real with me, because I’m going to love you no matter what.” That’s the kind of friendship Jesus offered this woman, and it’s the kind of friendship He offers to you and me too.

The things about you that you worry aren't lovable? The secrets you hide because you're afraid no one would love you if they knew? Jesus sees the real you, and He loves you so much.

Jesus is inviting you into a friendship where you can be totally real and totally loved.

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

We're called to be imitators of God . . . so does Jesus want us to befriend random strangers at drinking fountains and ask them awkward questions about their personal lives? Um, maybe not.

But if we're supposed to be imitators of God, then it's important to look closely at the example of Jesus to see how we can be more like Him in every area of our lives — including our friendships.

Just like Jesus invites us into a friendship that gives us a place to be real, friendships that imitate God are friendships that let us be real with each other.

NOW WHAT?

GODLY FRIENDSHIPS LET YOU BE REAL

So how can you have friendships that give you a place to be real, honest, and loved? And how can you be the kind of friend that gives others a place to be real, honest, and loved?

The story gives us a few clues from which we can learn. Our friendships become places where we can be real when we . . .

QUIET THE JUDGMENT

Jesus didn't go to Samaria by accident. He went to show His followers that their judgments of Samaritans were all wrong. They weren't people to be hated, but people to be loved.

If you want to be a great friend and have great friends, quiet your judgment and choose to listen to others' stories, like Jesus did.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE

When Jesus approached the Samaritan woman, He knew exactly who He was. He didn't change who He was to earn her attention or approval. By confidently knowing exactly who He really was, Jesus showed her that she could discover who she really was too.

If you want to be a great friend and have great friends, know who you are so others can discover who they are.

BE REAL

If you want the kind of friendships where everyone can be real and still know they're loved, someone has to go first. Maybe it's you.

What would it take for you to be more real in your friendships? How can you be more honest, authentic, and vulnerable so others feel safe enough to do the same?

INVITE REAL

When you think a friend might be struggling, don't ignore it. Don't let a tough topic keep you from talking about real things. Don't let a friend stay in hiding.

You can be the kind of friend who gently and compassionately invites others to come out of hiding — to be more real.

This is the kind of friendship Jesus offers us, and it's the kind of friendship we can offer each other.

Jesus was a lifeline of real love to the Samaritan woman at the well. When we imitate Jesus, like says, we can become lifelines of real love to each other.

Wouldn't it be incredible to know that your friendships are places where you can be totally real and totally loved? They can be.

If you're not sure you have a place to be real and loved right now, here's what I want you to do.

First, get real with Jesus. He is offering the same friendship to you that He offered to the woman at the well. Let Him be your lifeline of love, hope, and transformation.

Second, get real with someone here. Maybe it's an adult, or maybe it's a peer. But get real with someone. Let them know you're struggling, or that you want deeper friendships, or that you feel alone, or that you could really use a lifeline right now.

Remember, Godly friendships let us be real. So let's be real with God, and with each other.

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