A House in Shambles

Intro: We’re continuing in our study of the life of David, and so far we’ve the many sides of David, We’ve the humble shepherd, we’ve seen the brave warrior, we’ve seen the desperate fugitive, and we’ve seen the king gracious king…and now we’re looking at David the failing father…

Though there were a lot of good things to say about David. he really struggled with parenting

He didn’t set a good examples for his boys - One of his issues was that he had multiple wives…and many concubines - all that really speaks is that David had an issue with lust and sexual sin

And it’s also important to remember that the Lord had already told David that this was gonna happen because of his sin

We see that he’s not super good at discipline or correction - A part of parenting your kids is discipline and correction…It’s a part of loving them…It’s how God loves us

Hebrews 12:6 ESV

6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

”6

But David refused to be a parent and do what parents do - There are some parents who think thing the most important thing you could ever be to your kid is there best friend….no that’s not true…the most important thing you could ever be is a parent And being a parent means love always, but it also means discipline, it means playing the villein in the eyes of your kid at times

And it’s also important to remember that the Lord had already told David that family was gonna be effected of his sin

And being a parent means love always, but it also means discipline, it means playing the villein in the eyes of your kid at timesAnd it’s also important to remember that the Lord had already told David that family was gonna be effected of his sin

And it’s also important to remember that the Lord had already told David that family was gonna be effected of his sin

2 Samuel 12:10 ESV

10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’

He refused to be a parent and do what parents do - There are some parents who think thing the most important thing you could ever be to your kid is there best friend….no that’s not true…the most important thing you could ever be is a parent

And this would begin to come true today in this passage we’re about to read...

He refused to be a parent and do what parents do - There are some parents who think thing the most important thing you could ever be to your kid is there best friend….no that’s not true…the most important thing you could ever be is a parent

And being a parent means love always, but it also means discipline, it means playing the villein in the eyes of your kid at times

(FCF) I do feel like this is a timely message because of the day and age we live in …we live in a where parents arn’t encouraged to be parents anymore

We live in a society that says don’t lead your kids…rather come along side them and affirm them in their choices…

(Prepositional) Today we’re gonna continue to see the effects of his sin continue to trickle down in his house and have the holy spirit reinforce to us the importance of Parents being parents

Let them define who they are

Let them define right and wrong

Don’t spank them…Talk to them

And I think in our nation, the entire house hold is dictated by our kids…sports, events, feelings, wants and felt needs

(Prepositional) Today we’re gonna see When the leadership in a home and a kingdom disappears and the sons lead themselves …we began to look at it through Amnon and Tamar, and we’re gonna continue looking at it through David’s other son Absalom

Recap: I’m jump back a little and recap what looked at last week…and we’ll reap it in scenes...

We Saw Amnon who was the first born of David and Apparent heir to David’s throne have this Abnormal Love for his half sister Tamer who was the full sister of Absalom

Now this love was not only abnormal but it was against God’s law to entertain according (; ; )

So he should have ran away from it right there…but instead he fed it...

Be Restored 1. From Love to Lust (2 Sam. 13:1–14)

(Lev. 18:9–11; 20:17; Deut. 27:22).

And we saw the true colors of this abnormal love when he lured his sister into his chambers and raped here...

Turns our this wasn’t love at all…this was lust

Amnon Violates this beautiful young lady Tamar, and as soon as he had his way with her, his perceived “love” turns to hatred…Tamer is now repulsive reminder of consequences and he doesn’t what to think about it so he puts here out

She doesn’t remain Silent…But her brother Absalom takes her in and from that point on begins to conspire to kill his brother

And now we pick up where we left off...

2 Samuel 13:21 ESV

21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.

,

So David here’s about the Violation of his daughter and he response with a fitting response…Anger

Do you know there are some times where the only appropriate emotion for us to have towards certain things is anger

Especially for something like this....Anger was fitting

But righteous anger without righteous action is unless...

2 Samuel 13:23 ESV

23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.

2 sam 13

What! David did nothing but tried to sweep it under the carpet and act like it doesn’t exist

App: Can i just tell as a leader, there are some issues…you just can’t sweep under the carpet and hope that they go away…they won’t go away

Why didn’t he do anything? - I believe it was because when he heard about what Amon did…all he could think about was what he did to Bathsheba

He saw what he wanted…and he took it irregardless of the effects on theresHe also plotted and schemed and lied his way to killing someone…like father like son

It’s possible David didn’t think he had the moral authority to saying anything to his son - but not only did he have the authority, he had the responsibility

App: Whatever in your past…dons’t take away your right or responsibility to say and do wants right…Perants be Parents

App: Parents…be Parents whatever the cost our failure to do so will have an effect on the people around us

Think about this…David not only had the right, and the responsibility....but he also had the wisdom in both of these matters

Because if you don’t won’t the someone else will

2 Sam

2 Samuel 13:23 ESV

23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.

We see here…David did nothing…So Absalom will, now a few things you have to know about Absalom is that…

Now

He was renown for being handsome (2 sam 14:25) He’s gonna show himself to be bright and ruthless and intensely ambitious,

He’s been harboring intense hatred toward Amnon for the last 2 years…

And He’s come up with a plan to kill his brother - He’s gonna hold a big banquet - It’s harvest time, and if your a sheep rancher it’s party time, last time the author of hebrews made mention of this “sheep sharing season” was in 1 sam 24…which is where a fool by the name of Nabal lost his life…and another fool’s by the Name of Amnon is about to get taking as well…

It’s important to notice that Absalom is no hero here - He was showing himself to be a little more like Amnon then we’re willing to admit - Amnon had proven himself to be a slave to last…Absalom was proving himself to being a slave to anger

Absalom was about to deal with a sin by committing another sin…no good can come from it

wrote Francis Bacon,

“In taking revenge,” wrote Francis Bacon, “a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over, he is superior.”

“In taking revenge a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over, he is superior.” Francis Bacon

Francis Bacon,

Absalom was proving himself to be no better then His wicked brother Absalom..

But in order for this plan to be carried out...Absalom must go and manipulate the king a little

2 Samuel 13:24–25 ESV

24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing.

2 sam 13:25

So Absalom plans a feast for sheep sharing season in which he invites all the kings…and then approaches his Dad and all his brothers to come

This would have been quite an undertaking - David had 19 sons…and remember this was a dinner fit for a king Even David knew that it would be too much work…all that to say…This was gonna be expensive, it would have been a lot of work…and yet all of it was an elaborate hoax set up to kill Amnon

Now this would have been expensive - David had 19 sons…and remember this was a dinner fit for a king…all that to say…This was gonna be expensive…and yet all of it was an elaborate hoax set up to kill Amnon

Even David knew that it would be too much work…all that to say…This was gonna be expensive, it would have been a lot of work…and yet all of it was an elaborate hoax set up to kill Amnon

App: I think this reminds us that “Unforgiveness will always cost you more then you could ever know’

So David’s response was No…in the recognition that it was gonna be expansive…which is what Absalom really hoped would happen…and look what happens next

2 Samuel 13:26–27 ESV

26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

2 SAM 13:

So Absalom asks for something big, hoping that his father would say no (which he did) and then He would be obligated to give him what he really wants…he say’s “Well just let Amnon come with me than” which would have been a fitting thing to ask for since Amnon was the crown prince and next in line

Notice something that has in common with his Father and his brother…He’s cunning - That seems like a common denominator between David, Amnon and Absalom - They were all skilled in the art of deceptionDavid orchestrated a plan to kill uriah and keep Bathsheba’s pregnancy a secretAmnon orchestrated a plan to get Tamar alone so that he might rape herNow Absalom is orchestrating a plan to kill Amnon

In the Old testament there verses that testify of God visiting the sins of the father (, ,) here we see the gravity of what that means…

In the testament there verses that testify of God visiting the sins of the father (, ,) here we see the gravity of what that means…

But look at David’s response - v.26 “Why should he go with you?” - It seems like this even though this request seemed harmless at face Value…that parental intuition began to kick in for David and he says to himself “Investigate this…that might not be a good Idea”

But notice it says v.27 “But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all his sons go” - Even-though David felt uneasy about this he eventually ended up caving to social and family pressure….By this Absalom succeeded in manipulating his father into a defensive position of social obligation that almost forced David to say yes

App: Don’t ever let social obligations or pressure from your kids force you to make decisions that don’t sit well with your conscience…

2 Samuel 13:28–29 ESV

28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

2 sAM 13:28

So evidently the scene changes without mention from Jerusalem to the scene of the crime Baal Hazor…their eating, drinking, and being merry…but then it’s like a mafia hit job…Absalom has set up a hit on his brother, and even though his servants seem a little reluctant…He convinces them to go through with it by saying “I’ll take the blame for it”…and that excitedly what takes place…Absalom in cold blood kills his brother Amnon…

So He got his revenge but here’s the problem - It doesn’t really solve the problem…and it turns about the hurts the perpetrator

So evidently the scene changes without mention from Jerusalem to the scene of the crime Baal Hazor…their eating, drinking, and being merry…but then it’s like a mafia hit job…Absalom has set up a hit on his brother, and even though his servants seem a little reluctant…He convinces them to go through with it by saying “I’ll take the blame for it”…and that excitedly what takes place…Absalom in cold blood kills his brother Amnon…

Essentally 2 sons died here..

Thats why the practice of Forgiveness is so very important in the life of a beleievers

A few things about forgiveness:

It’s not an optional for a believer…It’s just what we do

Matthew 6:14 ESV

14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,

Ma

Matthew 6:14–15 ESV

14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is Jesus speaking about how forgiveness is not an optional thing…once your eyes as a beleievers have been opened by Jesus…seeing forgiveness as a non negotiable is a part of the new life

Vengeance Belongs to the Lord

Romans 12:19 ESV

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

ROM 12

God says…don’t go there…trust me…I will work out justice for you…I will do it

Where called to love our enemies

Matthew 5:44 ESV

44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Matt

Now how do you do that?

It starts with recognizing how Jesus has forgiven you

Recognizing that it’s sin to stay bitter

You have to start praying for the people who have hurt you

Forgiveness is a must in the church

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Some say “Church is like a hospital” I think it’s more like a zoo…You got Snakes and Wolves and Chameleons…and kinds of dangerous animals…their gonna bite

Dons’t mean there all bad though…and we’re called to keep our hearts tender toward one another…and forgive each other as Jesus has forgiven us...

The old slogan “Don’t get mad—get even” may satisfy some people, but it can never be pleasing to the Lord. The Christian way is the way of forgiveness and faith, trusting the Lord to work everything out for our good and His glory - W. Wiersbe

2 Samuel 13:30–31 ESV

30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments.

2 SAM 13:

So the news gets back to David, and though it traveled fast…it didn’t travel well…at first he gets a bad report…it was a wrong report right?.

Notice how quickly David was willing to believe that Absalom gave a command to strike down his brothers - It’s worth noting because it tells us that David (Whom the bible has always highlighted as an incredibly perceptive guy) probably had seen these brutal tendencies in his son before but once again he was unwilling to address it or do anything about it…

Here’s the point: David was unwilling to address Ether sons issue - First Amnon and Now Absalsom

Here’s the point: David couldn’t say no to his absalom and it cost him his other sonYou also have to think that the world of Nathan the Prophet were resonating in his head as well right - Nathan’s words regarding a sword of judgment that would not depart from his house (cf. 12:10) must have come flooding back to him at this time.

Essentally David abandoned his sons - What do I mean

They needed a Dad to guide them in that…to correct them…to But David punted that responsibility

App: Parents when our kids have real issues, and we chose to tell ourselves look the other way…we are guilty of abandonment

Just do your best

Now, look who comes back on the scene…

You also have to think that the world of Nathan the Prophet were resonating in his head as well right - Nathan’s words regarding a sword of judgment that would not depart from his house (cf. 12:10) must have come flooding back to him at this time.

The old slogan “Don’t get mad—get even” may satisfy some people, but it can never be pleasing to the Lord. The Christian way is the way of forgiveness and faith, trusting the Lord to work everything out for our good and His glory ().

Now, look who comes back on the scene…

2 sam 13:32-

2 Samuel 13:32–33 ESV

32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.”

Wiersbe, W. W.

Jonadab brought the “good” news to David that only Amnon is dead, and dead because he forced his sister Tamar. He probably hoped to gain favor with David by bringing this more favorable news…but heres’s thing God knew that Jonadab set the whole course of events in motion with his wicked advice to Amnon (because we get to read about to it today...)

App: We live in an unjust world, but we are loved by a God who sees…and in his time, he will give justice

2 Samuel 13:34–36 ESV

34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.

2 sam 13:34-

We’re told that David’s look outs finely see the sons of the king and we see Jonadab postering himself into the kings favor…and the they finally came to David and they all began to weep…bitterly…why? because of the shock, and the fact that they had lost not one…but essentally 2 brothers on this day

And where’s Absalom?

We’re told that David’s look outs finely see the sons of the king and we see Jonadab postering himself into the kings favor…and the they finally came to David and they all began to weep…bitterly…why? because of the shock, and the fact that they had lost not one…but essentally 2 brothers on this day

2 sam 13:37-

2 Samuel 13:37–39 ESV

37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead.

Here we see Absalom ran to a king, but not king David his father, King Talmai…His grandfather on his mothers side…and because of the fact they their were eyewitness accounts and he admitted guilt by running…Surly David will follow through on Punishing Absalom for murdering his brother right?…wrong…Absalom is allowed to go unpunished in the house of his grandparents about 80 miles away…and in this time, having lost respect for his Father…He begins to strategize a hostel take over

So here’s the indictment on David’s parenting …It seems like he had a lot of love for them in some areas…but he wasn’t willing to give the tough love

Amnon raped his brother…David doesn’t discipline him and 2 years pass…

Absalom Kills his brother…David doesn’t discipline him…3 years pass

And saddest thing was he could have helped them both because he had been in both of their shoes…

Bathsheba - Lust

Saul - Revenge

But Avoidance was his method…and his his family would pay for that...

Conclusion:

We’re not called to be friends first, we’re not called to cool, they need us to be their parents

To protect them

To correct them

To give them the gift of consiqunces

To not abandon our post in hopes of winning their approval

To leave a godly legacy for them to follow in

Absalom was unwilling to relinquish bitterness and the whole family would suffer for it

Have you been hurt by someone? I’m so sorry

But this is what I know…Jesus identifies himself with you - No one was treated more unjustly and inhumanely than Jesus Christ at His trial and crucifixion, yet He refused to retaliate...

No one was treated more unjustly and inhumanely than Jesus Christ at His trial and crucifixion, yet He refused to retaliate;

Here we see Absalom ran to a king, but not king David his father, King Talmai…His grandfather on his mothers side…and because of the fact they their were eyewitness accounts and he admitted guilt by running…Surly David will follow through on Punishing Absalom for murdering his brother right?…wrong…Absalom is allowed to go unpunished in the house of his grandparents about 80 miles away

Isaiah 53:4–6 ESV

4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:11 ESV

11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.

Isa 53:

A House in Shambles

From Love to Lust

From Lust to Hate

From Hatred to Murder

From Murder to Exile

Perants are called to be Perants

Christians are called to forgive

A House in Shambles

From Love to Lust

From Lust to Hate

From Hatred to Murder

From Murder to Exile

​

Perants are called to be Perants

Christians are called to forgive