Obey. Honor. Train.
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Introduction
Introduction
A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon.
Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
(S).
Psalm 127
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
This word heritage has the idea of being a special gift from the Lord.
This is one of those things that we know intellectually, but don’t always feel.
I can remember very clearly one morning walking out into the kitchen to see one of our children covered in crumbs. Even with all the evidence, the claim was made that they had eaten nothing.
In that moment, I didn’t say, “you are such a special gift from God.”
Whether we feel it or not, here’s the reality.
Every single child we have is a precious gift from God!
Today what we are going to do is learn from Scripture about the parent child relationship.
There are three responsibilities revealed to us in this passage of Scripture.
A responsibility for children. A responsibility for everyone. A responsibility for parents.
Our title this morning comes from these three responsibilities.
Purpose, prosperity, and peace come when we obey, honor, and train.
Responsibility #1…
1. Children Obey v. 1
1. Children Obey v. 1
Now, all the parents in the rooms just perked up. We like where this is headed, right?
All the kids in the room just thought to themselves, “this guy is crazy!”
Don’t worry, I’m gonna talk to parents in just a minute. No one gets off the hook today.
READ VERSE.
There are two important things about obedience in this verse. First…
a. Obey in the Lord v. 1a
a. Obey in the Lord v. 1a
The first thing we need to examine is this word children. It is the Greek word τέκνον teknon which literally means children or offspring.
There is no reference here to age or position.
This begs a question. Is Paul advocating unconditional obedience to parents for all children? Does this mean that as a 35 year old man I have to go to my room if Mom says so?
That can’t be the case because Paul says in 5:31 that a man will leave father and mother and be joined to his wife and they will be one flesh.
What I believe Paul is teaching here is that while you are under your parent’s roof whether 3, 16 or 20 you abide by their rules and are under their authority.
Obedience is commanded by God in all things. Does this mean that you obey your parents if told to do something illegal or morally wrong? No!
However, children are told here to obey “in the Lord.”
Because obedience is commanded by God it is ultimately obedience to Him!
Look at (S).
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
When children refuse to obey their parents they are disobeying God.
Notice who is being addressed here. It is the children.
Whether you want to or not, whether you feel like it or not, children are to obey their parents.
Why? That takes us to the second lesson this verse teaches about obedience.
b. Obey because it is right v. 1b
b. Obey because it is right v. 1b
Obedience is right.
The verse we saw in Colossians said that obedience pleases the Lord.
God knows what is best for us. Do we believe that?
Everything He allows into our lives is ultimately for our good! Do we believe that?
God not only knows what is best for us, everything He allows into our lives is ultimately for our good! When He tells children to obey their parents it is because that is what is best for children! Just like when we are commanded to obey Him! Now does that mean that obedient children will make perfect families? Absolutely not! As parents we are fallen human beings and therefore we will never be perfect and our children will never be perfect. But what obedience does is prepare children to function correctly under authority. That means that when they go out into the world they will be able to work, to obey the law, and contribute to society because they have learned how to yield to authority.
When He tells children to obey their parents it is because that is what is best for children!
Now does that mean that obedient children will make perfect families? Absolutely not!
As parents we are fallen human beings and therefore we will never be perfect and our children will never be perfect.
Obedience prepares children to function correctly under authority.
That means that when they go out into the world they will be able to work, to obey the law, and contribute to society because they have learned how to yield to authority.
ILLUSTRATION: 3 volunteers. 2 kids 1 adult? Simon says take 5 steps. Sit down. Simon says tap your right foot.
Obedience is a good thing!
Partial obedience is not obedience. Delayed obedience, while good, is still not what God requires.
Obedience brings glory to God.
Obedience demonstrates to the world around us that Christ impacts our daily life. He impacts our families.
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
Responsibility #2…
2. Children Honor vv. 2-3
2. Children Honor vv. 2-3
“Honor” means, “to estimate, or fix the value. To hold in respect, honor, or reverence.”
When we hear the word honor most of us don’t think of our parents do we? I mean they are mom and dad! Sometimes goofy and embarrassing not people that you honor!
Yet that’s what we are told here.
Two things about honor from these verses.
First…
a. Honor without limits v. 2
a. Honor without limits v. 2
Verse 1 deals with children still living at home under their parent’s authority.
Verse 2 is not limited to dependent children.
Let me put it this way. At what age would you want your kids to quit being respectful of you and honoring you?
If you always want you children to honor and respect you than you need to model that behavior with your own parents!
Our culture doesn’t not always honor older people. gives us the Biblical perspective (S).
The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.
This command of Scripture is not limited to young children! It applies to every person who has living parents!
You are to honor your parents no matter what your age or what their age!
That means respecting their wishes, wants and desires!
It means you value their advice and input, you don’t have to obey them but they have seen a lot and done a lot and asking their advice is important and it is Biblical.
What does honor honor look like?
What does it look like to honor your parents?
I thought long and hard about how to illustrate this. Then I realized I should just illustrate it how Scripture does.
ILLUSTRATION: 2 Volunteers. 1 adult, 1 kid. Crown, robe, sceptre. VS. Beggar clothes. How we treat them & attitude towards them = respect.
While unconditional obedience to parents stops when you are no longer under their authority, honoring your parents never stops!
Honoring someone means we treat them with respect and kindness.
Our verse tells us that this command to honor comes with a promise.
That leads us to the second thing about honor.
b. Honor and be blessed v. 3
b. Honor and be blessed v. 3
This is actually a quotation from the OT.
Quoting ; (S).
;
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
When you obey and honor your parents you will find that things go better, you live longer, and your overall quality of life is improved. That’s what Scripture says.
All over the world today you find people trying to live longer all they have to do is honor their parents. :)
There are a lot of people who are bitter, angry, and even hate their parents! When you live with those kinds of emotions it is going to shorten your life, it is going to make you difficult to get along with, and it will taint every aspect of your life!
If you are a young person this morning are you obeying your parents?
As adults and children are we honoring our parents?
Parents, our children will do the things that we do.
If we don’t honor our parents than our children are not going to honor us!
We need to model the kind of behavior we want our children to have!
Honoring our parents leads to blessing.
Anyone here want to be blessed? Honor your parents. Treat them with respect.
Paul now turns his attention to parents.
Children obey. Children honor. Responsibility #3…
3. Parents Train v. 4
3. Parents Train v. 4
The Word of God makes it very clear that parents are responsible for the training of their children.
There is a damaging mindset amongst many people that has caused a lot of harm.
There is a belief that we can delegate the responsible to train our children.
People are looking to schools, churches and day cares to raise their children for them!
Some Christian parents become angry at churches when their kids don’t turn out right!
It is our responsibility as parents to see that our children are trained properly!
The church can help, school and grandparents can help, but the responsibility of training children falls completely on the parents!
It is not the churches job, the schools job, or the grandparents job the responsibility of training children falls completely on the parents!
This means you need to know what they are being taught and church, at school, and by others.
Paul gives parents two jobs when it comes to training their children.
Job #1…
a. Train with care v. 4a
a. Train with care v. 4a
If we train our children improperly, we provoke them to wrath!
Though both parents are involved in the training process, according to this verse, the primary responsibility falls on the father.
There is something in the nature of a mother that causes her to naturally care for and nurture children. And so Paul addresses this command to fathers.
Fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath.
How we as fathers and mothers treat our children has a direct effect on their attitude, and on their character!
Here are at least 10 ways a father can provoke his kids… #1 Smother them. Never giving them a chance to take chances. #2 Favoritism. Favoring one kid over the other. #3 – Comparing your kids with one another. #4 – Pushing their achievement beyond reasonable bounds. #5 – Discouraging them. #6 – Failing to make the child feel wanted. Always treating them like they are intruding on your life. #7 – Using love as a tool for reward and punishment. #8 – Failing to let them grow up in a normal life. #9 – Physical and verbal abuse. #10 – Teasing and taunting them. We need to be so very careful how we treat our children.
I find what Paul says here very interesting. He is presenting a contrast. First of all he list the negative, fathers don’t provoke. Then the positive, rather train them.
How we as fathers and mothers treat our children has a direct effect on their attitude, and on their character! I find what Paul says here very interesting. He is presenting a contrast. First of all he list the negative, fathers don’t provoke. But rather train them. The idea is that if we don’t train our children correctly we are going to have angry children! That is what will happen if we don’t bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord! Improper training will result in angry children!
The idea is that if we don’t train our children correctly we are going to have angry children!
That is what will happen if we don’t bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord!
Improper training will result in angry children!
We must train our children with care. That’s Job #1.
Job #2…
b. Train with purpose v. 4b
b. Train with purpose v. 4b
Don’t provoke them to wrath. Instead, train them in the things of the Lord.
One question that I believe is on the heart of every Christian parent is how can we raise children who love the Lord and want to serve Him?!
Paul tells us right here.
We are to bring them up. This is the idea of nurturing them to the point of maturity.
This is the idea of nurturing them to the point of maturity. Our goal is to produce Children that are spiritually mature. We are to bring them up or grow them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The word nurture deals with the whole training and educating of children. This includes the cultivation of mind and morals. This one word encompasses the use of commands, admonitions, reproof and punishment. The word admonition carries the idea of teaching and training your children in the nature and character of Jesus Christ.
Our goal is to produce children that are spiritually mature.
We are to bring them up or grow them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The word “training” deals with the whole raising and educating of children. This includes the cultivation of mind and morals.
This one word encompasses the use of commands, admonitions, reproof and discipline.
The word “admonition” carries the idea of teaching and training your children in the nature and character of Jesus Christ.
Why is this so important?
ILLUSTRATION: 2 volunteers. 1 adult, 1 child? 30 sec to do puzzle. Need proper framework to be effective in our world!
We all know the words of (S).
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
We know we are to train them, nurture them, and cultivate their hearts and minds through correction, instruction and discipline. But how do we do it? Now some may say that there are things that kids just won’t understand. While that may be true children are generally smarter than we give them credit for.
We must teach and train our children to have a Biblical worldview. That’s part of our goal here at Grace Church. That’s why we want to start Venture clubs and Sunday School and children’s church.
We want to equip our children at their level with the tools they need to engage a Christless culture.
But that is only part of it. They need to be getting it at home as well.
We train children through our example.
What are our children learning when they observe our behavior?
It doesn’t matter if your kids are grown and gone, they are still watching you! What are they learning?
Are they learning about faith, grace, trust, and the power of prayer? Or do they see frustration, fear, pride, and selfishness?
Do we have a plan in the raising and training of our children?
Equipping our children to think and act Biblically will not happen by accident.
Training children to reflect Christ in a sin darkened world requires strategy.
We have some plans, some strategies. Join us as we implement them.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Children, obey your parents.
Obey because it pleases God.
Obey because it is right.
When you obey, things go better.
Children, honor your parents.
Respect them, show them love and kindness.
When you honor, Scripture promises a better and longer life.
Parents, train your children.
Do you want peace in your home? Do want children that are not angry?
Train them to know, love, and serve Jesus.
When you train, there is peace and Christ is glorified.
All of us need to live with a Biblical perspective.
We must know the Word of God and put it into practice.
Obey. Honor. Train.
May our obedience, honor, and parenting bring glory to God and bring the gospel to the world.
“Obedience”
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:
“that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.