Sermon Tone Analysis

A man and his dog were walking along a road.

The man was enjoying the scenery, when he remembered that he was dead.

** \\    \\ **He recalled dying, and also that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them.

** \\ ** ** \\ **After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.

It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

** \\ **  ** \\ **When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

** \\ **      ** \\ **When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' ** \\ **      ** \\ **'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

** \\ **   ** \\ **'Wow!

Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'Of course, sir.

Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.

** \\ **   ** \\ **'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

** \\ **  ** \\ **After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

There was no fence.

** \\ **  ** \\ **As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'Excuse me!' he called to the man.

'Do you have any water?' ** \\ **  ** \\ **'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'There should be a bowl by the pump.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

** \\ **  ** \\ **The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

** \\ **  ** \\ **When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

** \\ **  ** \\ ʽ**What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'This is Heaven,' he answered.

** \\ **  ** \\ **'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said.

'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?

Nope.

That's hell.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?' ** \\ **  ** \\ ʽ**No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.' ** \\ **  ** \\ **You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.