| note from your 2-year-old |
| Dear Mommy and Daddy,I heard you say you don't understand 2-year-olds, so let me explain:When I'm in my high chair and I say "up" it really means "down." Or sometimes, it means, "I don't want milk," "I want juice," unless you give me juice in the first place. Then, I want milk.When 1 say "out" and you open the door for me, the reason I throw a fit is because I want to stay in, unless I can go outside naked.I really don't like to go for walks if I can't ride in the stroller, unless you put me in the stroller. Then, I want to walk, or else be carried, or maybe scream a little.Oh, and one more thing: When you ask, "Do you have to go potty?" and I say "no," it really means "yes." But I like to wait to tell you about it in the car or at the market1 hope that explains everything.Sincerely, ■ V byYour Beloved 2-Year-Old ^^ A. Chapman |
I have this recurring dream: I go home for a visit and my parents say with genuine reverence, "Glad you're here. We need your opinion on the best way to manage the household," or "Give us some advice on raising your younger brothers."
Unfortunately, my dream hasn't come true. Instead, Mom asks if she can make me a ham sandwich. Dad cautions me to drive safely. Why is it, that no matter how grown-up I become, I'm still just a kid in my parents' house?
I suppose it's because they know my history. They remember how I sang "Hello Dolly" to strangers in the grocery store ... was "a'scared" of first grade ... painted my bedroom walls, baseboards, closet and furniture "glow green," and dropped a gallon of that subtle, oil-based color on the rug... totalled the family car after the senior prom. How can I expect any credibility with a track record like that? * * *
The mailbags which arrive every day at Focus on the Family's door-
by Mary Alice Parks
step contain scores of letters from frustrated parents who've lost all hope that their children will ever grow up. Some letters recount humorous incidents that offspring will never live down. Others (like the following excerpts) capture the sheer amusement of childhood. With free entertainment like this, no wonder parents find it so hard to let children grow up.
One especially cold night, I told the boys to jump in bed and pull the covers around them and we'd say our prayers. My 3-year-old stuck his little hand up and asked, "Mom, do you think if d be all right if we prayed one-handed tonight?" Lois Jackson Lake Odessa, MI
A bedtime prayer by our 5-year-old: "Dear God, please wash away all our sins. And wash away everyone's sins, God. And God just wash away the devil. And just drown him, God. Amen."
The Vermillion Family Carrollton, TX
One evening, 5-year-old Matthew discovered very little chocolate milk left in the carton. "Mom, I'm going to have to drink this by myself because there isn't enough for Christine, too," he declared. Overhearing, Dad said sternly, "Matthew, if Jesus were here, what would he do?" Without hesitating, 3-year-old Christine responded, "He'd make more chocolate milk!"
6-year-old: I can't get the tape recorder to work.
Dad: Sure you can. Just try again.
6-year-old: I pushed that menopause button and it still won't work!
Qeorge Elliott Alexandrian VA
When my grandson's Sunday school teacher asked the class of 6-year-olds if anyone knew the Ten Commandments, up went my grandson's hand. "Is 'Don't drink and drive' one of them?"
Carolyn Renno Redondo Beach, CA
12 focus on the family / October 1986
After learning how nice heaven was going to be, our 2-year-old stated that she and Mommy were going to heaven, and so was Leah (her younger sister). "What about me?" her daddy asked. "Oh, no. You have to go to work!" she explained.
Susan Blosser Hew Lebanon, OH
While watching some high divers at an amusement park, 4-year-old Bethany couldn't tell that the announcements about the dives were coming from microphones on the tower.
Thoroughly intrigued, she whispered, "Is that God telling them what to do?"
Audrey Castleman \Bloomington, MM
Our boy looked into a mirror and inquired, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the Pharisee of us all?"
The Steufert Family Deer Lodge, MT
My wife and our two girls, ages 1 and 3, were taking a walk when the 3-year-old stopped and stared into a mud puddle. After finally agreeing to resume the walk, the young ponderer proclaimed with a sigh, "1 was just trying to figure out what God created here."
Jim Taylor Woodlake, C4
Our little Kathy knew the alphabet by the time she reached 21 months. We realized the Lord had given us a gifted child. Long before her third birthday, she had memorized the Twenty-Third Psalm and named her lovely twin dolls: Shirley Goodness and Ann Mercy.
Muriel Browne Seattle, WA
My 6th-grade daughter was sharing with me about a film she'd seen at school warning about sexual child abuse. My third-grader, who was in the room at the time, piped up and professed to know what sexual child abuse was. Curious as to the extent of his "knowledge," I asked him to elaborate. He promptly enlightened me. "That's when parents are more interested in sex than they are about their own kids."
Vicki Smith Sublette, KS
OCTOBER 1986 / FOCUS OH THE FAMILY 13