After marriage, each quickly begins to learn the subjects that make the other anxious. To avoid the discomfort in self when the other is anxious, each avoids the subjects that make the other anxious; an increasing number of subjects thus become taboo for discussion. Most spouses attempt to resolve the communication gap by “talking it out,” with less than satisfactory results. All too often the attempt to communicate only stirs up emotional reactiveness and drives them farther apart.
Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, Murray Bowen, M.D., page 248