In the course of our lives, we will be hurt.
The world is filled with broken relationships.
People offend and are offended so easily.
You will get hurt in life.
Maybe you have been hurt by what people said about you… by what someone thought about you… You may have been hurt by what people have done to you emotionally, physically, verbally or financially.
You will be hurt by what people say and do.
Listen to me.
You will have to learn how to let go of past hurts.
It’s not easy.
The only antidote for painful memories is FORGIVENESS.
Nothing else will free you from the past except forgiveness.
Nothing else works.
Many people say they could never forgive … I get it, but it’s really because we don’t understand what forgiveness is and isn’t.
Let me start by saying what forgiveness isn’t.
1. Forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of an offense.
Dont minimize the offense by telling someone… it’s ok… it’s not.
If someone does something to hurt you, it’s a big deal… don’t cheapen it by saying something like… it doesn’t matter.
It hurt you so it’s important.
The answer is firgivenness not minimization.
2. Forgiveness is not an instant restoration of trust.
Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.
Forgiveness is instant.
Trust may take years to rebuild.
Forgiveness is by grace.
Trust is based on works.
ILL - say a woman has a husband who is alcoholic and is abusive.
Every night he comes in and beats her.
She can kick him out of the house.
Say he comes back in a few hours and asks for forgiveness.
She has to forgive him.
If he wants to come back, that’s another matter.
He has to earn her trust back.
Trust is built or rebuilt over time.
It takes a long time to rebuild credibility.
It can be lost in a second, but it takes time to build it.
3. Forgiveness is not resuming a relationship without any changes.
A lot of people are afraid to forgive because they think it means getting back into a dysfuntional, hurting, unhealthy relationship or situation.
That’s not forgiveness at all.
For a relationship to be completely reunited, to be completely reconciled, the offender has to do three things: repentance, restitution, and rebuilding of trust.
That’s what has to be done to restore trust.
But I am not talking today about that… I’m talking about you and me.
Our role when we have been hurt is forgiveness.
It’s independent of whether they ask for forgiveness or not… whether they deserve it or not.
They don’t deserve it.
Jesus doesn’t want us to forgive them for them, but for us.
When you forgive someone, it benefits you.
We want to answer three questions: Why should I let go of my hurt?
Where do I find the power to do it?
How do it do it?
Why should I let go of my hurt?
Because God has forgiven me.
We forgive because God forgives us.
You will never have to forgive anyone more than God has had to forgive you.
God forgives you and I completely… unconditionally… constantly.
God forgives you even when you don’t know you are blowing it.
He forgives you and he wipes all of your sin away.
You will never have to forgive anyone more than God has forgiven you.
The reason it’s hard for us to forgive is because we don’t feel forgiven.
When you don’t feel forgiven, it’s hard to forgive.
When you don’t feel God’s grace, it’s hard to be gracious.
When you don’t feel like you have been let off the hook, you don’t feel like letting someone else off the hook.
When you don’t feel like anyone cuts you some slack, it’s difficult to cut someone else some slack.
When you don’t feel good about yourself, you sure don’t want others to feel good about themselves.
The number 1 reason it’s hard for you to forgive is that you don’t feel forgiven.
Once you really experience the forgiveness of God, you can begin to forgive.
If you have never experienced the grace of God, you’ve never felt forgiven by God… you will have a chance to experience the forgiveness of God.
Until you accept the forgiveness of Jesus, you will have a difficult time forgiving others.
2. Because Resentment doesn’t work.
Resentment is self-defeating & self-destructive.
It causes you more pain than the person you are upset with.
The Bible tells the story about a man named Job who lost everything in a day.
Terrorists came in, killed all his kids, stole all of his cattle, ruined his crops and on top of that he got a terrible disease.
Everything went wrong.
If anybody had a right to be bitter about the circumstances of life, Job did.
But he didn’t.
When we fill our lives with resentment we do really dumb stuff.
If you have ever seen anybody get angry in public and they make a fool of themselves.
Because when you are resentful and angry, you lose your mind.
When you are angry and resentful… you try to get even, you are dumber not smarter.
Resentment always makes us look foolish.
Boudreaux joke - about Boudreaux strapping dynamite on his chest to blow Thibidoux’s hand off.
Resentment does not hurt the other person, it hurts us.
It will not change the past.
It also keeps you in the pain.
We allow people to keep hurting us by holding onto the resentment.
Resenting a person, carrying a grudge, is like taking a shot gun, pointing it at yourself, pulling the trigger and hoping to hurt your enemy with the kick of the recoil.
You’re going to hurt yourself more than you hurt that person.
Research has shown that the most unhealthy emotion known to human beings is bitterness, resentment.
When you hold it in your heart, it’s like taking cancer in your heart.
Most hospitals would empty out if people knew how to get rid of guilt and resentment.
God did not make your body to carry guilt and resentment.
Pain .... probably is coming from the stress of guilt or resentment… Unresolved anger will take it out on your body.
Because I will need more forgiveness in the future.
Forgiveness is a 2 way street.
Jesus is saying that we cannot expect to receive what we are not willing to give.
He is saying that God cut you some slack… cut them some slack.
Who has ever said the Our Father or Lord’s Prayer?
Do you realize what you were saying?