Even though this value system doesn’t play a big role in our culture, it is nonetheless present. Imagine having a huge gathering of family and friends over for a Thanksgiving feast. Everything is ready, all the seats are filled, and all that’s left is to bring out the turkey. Now imagine that as you’re carrying the turkey in, you trip over the cat, completely dump the turkey on the floor, and end up landing on top of it, pulverizing it into an inedible mess. How would you react in that situation (other than wanting to kill that cat)? Yes, there is the task of carrying the turkey that was left incomplete, but you’d likely feel something more. There would be the embarrassment of not seeing the cat and falling. There would be shame and mortification of having invited people who expected a wonderful meal, and then having nothing but potatoes and cranberry salad to offer them. Imagine how the guests would feel. Not only would they be disappointed, but they would probably be embarrassed for you. They might not even know how to respond. Do they tell a joke? Do they offer to help clean up, or would that just make matters worse?

Let’s take a look at this through the lens of shame and honor. The person who dropped the turkey would definitely feel a sense of shame, but he or she would not be alone. Their spouse would feel the same as well. Is their family going to be remembered every Thanksgiving as the ones who ruined the turkey in front of their guests? Will the relatives harass them for years? What will this event do to the host’s or hostess’ confidence? How long would it be, if ever, until they would invite a large group over again? Okay, we may not fall on the sword or jump out of a window when we make big mistakes, but we can understand the shame it can bring. We can imagine how we would carry the dishonor with us. Now let’s go back and revisit the scenario recounted in Philippians 2:25–30.

Epaphroditus represents a category of people who are to be honored. If we have read Paul correctly, it is not only the up-front people, those with the more public gifts, who are to be honored but also those who regardless of their gifts live out the example of Christ. By holding up Epaphroditus, Paul contradicted the Greco-Roman culture’s, and also our modern culture’s, rewarding those who seek prestige and position.12 This ought to lay the ax to those of us who define success in the evangelical community as a kind of lordship: sitting in the honored seat, being the feted guest at luncheons, speaking to vast throngs, building monuments, naming buildings after ourselves, collecting honorary titles.