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Good Grief

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Title- Good Grief
Passage- 2 Samuel 1-27
That ultimately was not God’s plan…he gave us three beautiful biological children but we did go through a season of grieving over the present reality of not having children.
Good Grief!!!
In all reality there is a lot of truth to this statement when one examines it biblically
So, lets recap the last few weeks
-David is anointed to be the next king
-He runs an errand for his father and ends up killing one of Israel’s biggest enemies
-He becomes the hero
-Saul brings him to the palace
-Saul then begins to hate David and wants to kill him
-He throws spears at him
-He chases him through the wilderness
-David ends up living in enemy territory
-He makes some mistakes because he takes his focus off the Lord
-His family is taken and his village burned
-He rescues his family and the families of the men with him
-He returns and then receives news that the king and his own best friend were killed in battle
David finds himself in a very tough spot....
Emotionally he is filled with grief
What is the main driving point (CPS)?
Friends, our grief has the ability to help others and more importantly glorify God.
Why does the CPS matter, what is the consequence?
We will make a choice in our grief…to become angry and bitter or to continue walking in faith with God....
In this passage we find a few insights into grief from the life of David
The first insight about grief we find from David is that....

I. David made room for the emotions (11-12; 17)

I am sure that it was just as true in David’s day as it is today that men who express their emotions were weak men...
David doesn't stuff his emotions, burying them down deep.
Culturally the Middle East seems a bit more in touch with their emotions, but the interesting thing is that David is emotional over the death of the man trying to kill him
Saul, the one who started by throwing spears at him in the palace and ended up hunting him across the wilderness..
This is who David is grieving over.
Well, Jonathan was killed in battle too, couldn’t David be grieving the loss of Jonathan?
Yes, but it is clear from these verses that David grieved Saul, and Jonathan.
Bridge to today
I see from these verses that we ought to be cautious of what we choose not to grieve over.
We tend to grieve over what moves our situation to a perceived disadvantage
Over what WE see as worthy of grief
God’s word said “Touch not the Lord’s anointed” and Saul died in battle…therefore David grieves the loss of Saul even in spite of their strained relationship.
So what about in our lives?
Those prickly people that the Lord puts into our lives, and then moves on...
Do we see them for the loss that they are?
What if we viewed those prickly relationships from a redemptive perspective?
What if we saw them from God’s perspective
Why does this matter?
If we view those relationships from our perspective it will be all about me
How I feel
How they inconvenience me
From our perspective those relationships are not about loving them to Chist
Drawing them closer to the Lord by living out truth
The second insight about grief we find from David is that....

II. David shared his grief (17)

As is normal with David he shared his grief through poetry…most likely a song.
The word for “lamentation” here is referring to a funeral song.
So the Amalekite comes to give David word of Saul’s death and to bring him the crown
In response David has him executed...
This may seem odd to us but in the cultural context it was acceptable.
David was in touch with his grief…he was aware of his motions
According to scripture it was actually what was suppose to happen.
He was also prepared to share those emotions in a beneficial way.
He wrote a song to memorialize Saul and Jonathan
Bridge to today
Grief is normally brought up when it comes to death...
But grief arises much more often than with the death of a loved one
Death, and its finality, tend to make grief and the grieving process more intense but it is not restricted to times of loss through death
But there is the reality that grief comes in many situation of various reasons
Many times it is in times that we lose a loved one
But it comes at the loss of a job
In divorce
Sometimes for those that are forced into retirement
It could be as simple as a child losing a special toy
Or as deep as the loss of the potential for something
Missy and I lived the first ten years of our marriage deeply desiring to have children but being grieved that the Lord saw it fit for us to wait.
Grief is not just in death…it is about the loss of something dear to us.
We need to be prepared to share our grief.
Paul in gives us a glimpse into this truth
What is the purpose of grief?
When sin entered the world, grief was right along side. From the loss of the garden to the loss of the fist human being…and especially the loss of the nearness of God.
Grief is a part of this world…like it or not
But God in his wisdom comforts and guides believers through grief
In turn believers are to guide one another through grief
Why does this matter?
Call out to the Lord in your grief…He know and yet wants to hear your heart
Go to his word looking for comfort and direction
He will guide and comfort you
We need wisdom in our grief, James says if anyone lacks widom as God and he will give you all the wisdom you will need
Also, share your grief with others…your present grief and past
In the present share knowng that God can guide you to others who have been exactly where you are
Share your past grief with others that are where you were in order that you may give them the comfort you recieved and in the process glorify God through the valley of grief you walked
The third insight about grief we find from David is that....

III. David focused on the good (18-27)

Grief hurts
It is not a pleasant process
But, if we keep our focus on the Lord and the truths of the Lord can use our grief in ways we never imagined.
Romans 8:28–29 KJV 1900
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
We cannot get so caught up in the grief that we forget the bigger picture
That we are here on this earth to glorify God
The person or situation we are grieving has a purpose in the counsel of God
We need to keep our focus on Him and the good He not only has given to us but the good He will bring out of the situation as well.
Bridge to today
Through our valley of infertility we have met others and been able to share with the the comfort God brought to us....the process of moving from the present reality of not having biological children to the privilege of looking towards adoption.
That ultimately was not God’s plan…he gave us three beautiful biological children but we did go through a season of grieving over the present reality of not haivng children.
We had a choice in those years
Be bitter…which some days that is exactly what happened
Some days it was a task to just pray
But in the big picture we were able to keep walking in faith with the Lord
Now we have truths and experiences that we can share with others...
What if we had become bitter
Or angry at God
We would have missed His goodness
We would have missed an opportunity to glorify Him in that valley of grief
But not only that…we can continue to glorify Him as we continue to focus on the good that He has done and share that comfort and those experiences with others.
Why does this matter?
Grief has a purpose, It’s ultimate purpose is an opportunity to bring glory to God
We do so by making room for grief…even us guys
We share our grief…with God and with others
And when we focus on the good that God has done and will do
Review of the Principles and the Sermon Proposition
I want to close with a few practical applications...
Don’t be afraid to express grief~Jesus grieved over Lazarus
Grief is to be shared~Jesus wept before others
Take comfort in song~ Much of the Psalm are expressions of grief…keep singing
Focus on the good times~ Keep your eyes on the Lord
Visualize Audience Implementation
Final Statement
Would you bow your heads and close your eyes with me?
Closing Hymn
440 Abide With Me
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