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The Design of God's Design

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1) 3-9-08…AM…SBC

“The Display of God’s Design”

Selected Scriptures


1-      God did not start with a church, a government or a business – He started with the Family

2-      From the family God builds nations, governments, churches and businesses

3-      The family is God created, it is not man-made.  If it is reconstructed (man-man/women-women), it goes against God’s plan.

4-      Society is trying to replace and redefine the family, but they will fail.  To redefine the family is to fight God Himself and rebellion against God never works and leads to death. (Genesis 3; Romans 1)

Proposition:   Now that we know what God’s designed pattern is (Parameters, Participants, Product), what we want to see this morning is what should that pattern look like.


Illustration:  Sewing a pattern together on a sewing machine or putting a model car/plane together

·         doesn’t it look easy on the box

·         the pattern makers and the model makers designed it to look a specific way

·         if you don’t follow the instructions it won’t look like it is supposed to

·         God designed marriage and the family to operate the same way

·         We must follow the Maker’s design so that our marriages and families look like they were intended to

1)  The Marriage Exhibit        1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Ø      We saw last week how marriage how God intends and expects marriage to be a life-long commitment between a man and a woman, based on the principles of biblical love.  The relationship between Christ and the church is the supreme example of biblical love.

Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,[1]

Ø      let this be true of our marriages as well

A-    Exhibit A – The Husband           Psalm  119:1-3; 128:1-4         (most important factor)

1-      Men, we must personally maintain a heart of worship for God alone

a-      we worship what we believe we desperately need or must have in order to be happy

b-      what we worship will be what we

- adore                   - sacrifice for               - focus on        - speak about

- spend a great amount of thoughts, time, energy and resources on

            Application:   What does God want from you?

1.      Forsake you’re the idols you are worshipping      (Search, Confess, Repent, Guard)

2.      Have the right passion      (make this your prayer requests)

a.       That you may know Christ and delight to walk in Him   (Philippians 3:10-14)

b.      That you may know God’s word and obey it       (Psalm 119: 18, 101, 112, 113)

c.       that you may serve others rather than be served   (Galatians 5:13)


Ø      putting the cart before the horse is a very effective way at getting nowhere

Ø      your attempts to reform your ways will be futile (useless) if you do not determine in your heart to worship Christ alone


2-      Men, we must never be satisfied with our love “just the way it is”

a-      without exposure the God’s truth about love we will have a warped understanding of love

b-      we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church            Ephesians 5:25-33

c-      Christ’s love for us is both perfect and underserved and this is how our love is to be to our wives


Christ’s love:


-          was initiated by Himself (He didn’t wait to be loved)     1 John 4:9

-          is enduring                        Psalm 106:1

-          is verbalized          Jeremiah 31:3

-          is demonstrated by action             Romans 5:8

-          it is self-sacrificing            Philippians 2:7-8


Ø      True love has no ulterior motive to benefit self

Ø      Anyone who does not love does not know God for God is love                   1 John 4:7-8


d-     the display of love

1.      prefer her over yourself

2.      show interest in her interests

3.      encourage her with words of appreciation

4.      confront her sin in love

5.      Pray with her and lead her spiritually

Ø      Does your heart pass the love test?

Ø      Does your heart worship Christ alone?

Ø      Does your heart love your wife and Christ loved the Church?

B- Exhibit B – The Wife

1- Ladies, you also must personally maintain a heart of worship for God alone

                                                                                                  i.      That you may know Christ and delight to walk in Him   (Philippians 3:10-14)

                                                                                                ii.      That you may know God’s word and obey it       (Psalm 119: 18, 101, 112, 113)

                                                                                              iii.      that you may serve others rather than be served   (Galatians 5:13)

2- Ladies, are called by God to biblically submit to your husbands   Ephesians 5:22-24


Ø      many women are confused in regards to the biblical teaching on submission

Ø      women are often made to feel like fools for subjecting themselves to this teaching

Ø      Does the Bible condone a type of “doormat theology?”

Definition:      Biblical submission is an act of the will demonstrated by serving others out of an attitude that regards others as more important than yourself.


                        a- you are first of all to submit to your husbands because God commands you  to

Present tense:  continually

Passive voice:  voluntarily

                        b- a wife is to be submissive to her husband in all things unless her husband is asking her to sin

-          everything means everything even if he is being disobedient or not a believer

1 Peter 3:1-4


                                    c- a submissive wife does not dishonor God              Titus 2:3-5


-          a wife honors God when obeying God is more important that having her own way

Application:  Ladies, Christ is to be your example of submission – Does your submission look like His did when he obeyed His authority (God the Father) died on the cross for the world

            3- Ladies, you are to take on the role of the helper    Genesis 2:18-20


a-      a helper is one who assists, encourages and supports

b-      God designed you to be your husband’s helper before he made you a mother, employee or a church member

c-      You and your husband share a equality in status (image) but a diversity of role

Practical Pointers on the role of the helper

-          communicate respect and admiration for your husband               Ephesians 5:33

-          never criticize in public or tear down in private    Ephesians 4

-          pursue your own spiritual growth whether or not your husband is the spiritual leader he should be

-          rejoice regularly that God has called you to be the helper of your husband  Colossians 3:23


Application:  Whose model for submission are you going to follow?           God’s or the World

Transition:       Your marriage is not the only object on display, God also want the world to see…

2)      The Family Exhibit                 Colossians 3:18-25

Ø      the family as a whole reflect the nature of God

(leadership, submission, obedience, guidance, help, hope, encouragement, etc)

a- Generally speaking, stable families produce stable individuals

            - stable families are the ones doing things God’s way

b-  the reason why godly families acting ungodly is so devastating is because they are distorting the

    glory of God’s designed pattern for the family


-          if our chief end is to glorify God then this should bother us

Ø      there is a wealth of material out there on the family, but what is your family’s view of the family?

Ø      Do you say you believe in a biblical view of the family and yet live contrary to that?

Ø      Could the world see God’s love and salvation through the display of your family exhibit?



1- I believe that if we the compass set right for our marriages and our families then it will be simple to see God design

    for human sexuality

2- Husband – are you the spiritual pace setter and leader of your home?      (Illustration of pace car)

3- Wife – are you the biblically submissive, helper to your husband that God designed you to be

            - Is submitting to God your motivation for doing this?

4- Dad and Mom – are you training your children in the instruction of the Lord?                Ephesians 6:4


            - Is your family life marked by Scripture reading and prayer together?  (more than just meal times)

5- Kids – Are you learning from the examples of your godly parents – God’s will is that you obey!

            * my kids right now think I’m cool – but will they when they get older and will it be for my godly example?

6- Hopefully you are not prideful enough to think that you don’t have ways to grow in your role within the family

            - begin today, start now and don’t delay – the Glory of God is at stake!


[1]The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Heb 10:23-24.

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