You Belong: The Church as Marriage
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The Church as Marriage
The Church as Marriage
How difficult is this passage!
Not only challenging to decipher
But also countercultural!
I take you, [blank] to be my husband, and I promise before God and all who are present here to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our lives shall last
Marriage Vows for the Bride:
I take you, [blank] to be my husband, and I promise before God and all who are present here to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our lives shall last
Vss.22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
I take you, [blank] to be my husband, and I promise before God and all who are present here to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our lives shall last
I take you, [blank] to be my husband, and I promise before God and all who are present here to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our lives shall last
I will love you and submit to you, as the church loves and submits to Christ. I will serve you with tenderness and respect, and encourage you to develop the gifts that God has given you.
Story of Someone I know who crossed her fingers during this part…
Decluttering issues:
Decluttering issues:
Decluttering issues:
Decluttering issues:
Two things going on:
Two things going on:
Two things going on:
Falls within the context of the Church: Mutual Submission
Falls within the context of the Church: Mutual Submission vs. 21
Falls within the context of the Church: Mutual Submission vs. 21
Submission vs. Sacrifice
Submission vs. Sacrifice
Why should we be mutually submission? Because the Church is the Bride of Christ.
Wives=Submission
Christ=Sacrifice
Marriage is an analogy:
Marriage is an analogy:
Family isn’t a microcosm of the church, but is a symbol/metaphor of the church.
Family isn’t a microcosm of the church, but is a symbol/metaphor of the church.
Luke 28:21: “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.”
Wives=Church
Wives=Church
Wives LIKE the Church
Wives=Church
Wives LIKE the Church
s
Husbands LIKE Christ
Just like in baptism this morning:
We didn’t see salvation, we saw the illustration of how salvation works!
We just exist and resist, and Christ transformed and daily reforms.
Husbands LIKE Christ
We didn’t see Millie become a Christian, we got to witness what becoming like a Christian looks like:
Karsey shared with me this past week that she was baptized with her dad on the same day:
Same sealed promises.
For her dad, he owned them as his own, and today experienced the full effect of his promises as he is with Jesus.
Karsey has owned those promises.
Millie’s baptism today is a symbol of God’s amazing grace, with the hopes that she will be presenting the next generation someday…
So this text is an analogy: Marriage
Walking through the Text:
Walking through the Text:
vs. 18: Don’t be drunk wine- that’s wrong
Wives, husbands, church and Christ
Wives: Submit to your husbands as to the Lord
But be filled with the Spirit.
How? Worship, Thanksgiving, Mutual Submission
1. Worship
Thanksgiving
Mutual SubmissionThrough worship! Through thanksgiving! Through mutual submission
vs. 23: Why? Husbands is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
How does this worship, and thanksgiving and mutual submission work within the church?
How are we supposed to know what that looks like?
Look at Marriage: vss.22-33
Theme of Submission launches Paul into a way to understand marriage:
Theme of Submission launches Paul into a way to understand marriage:
vs. 22: Wives submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Why? Because wives are like the church. SO CLOSE TO THE WAY THE CHURCH NEEDS TO OPERATE, the words “SUBMIT YOURSELVES” isn’t even in the text! It borrows the verb from vs. 21. No need to put a paragraph break, because they belong together.
vs. 24: Church submits to Christ
vs. 22: Wives submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Why? Because wives are like the church.
vs. 22: Wives submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Why? Because wives are like the church.
vs. 23: Husbands are the head of the relationship. Why? Because husbands represent Christ in this analogy. THEY AREN’T Christ, they are like Christ.
You can’t pull the “I am the Christ
vs. 24: Natural Conclusion: Church submits to Christ, wives submit to everything in husbands. We need to submit everything to Christ.
By overstating the fact that wives need to submit everything to Christ, we forget that the point is that we need to first of all submit to one another, and then submit everything to Christ, and that husbands need to give up everything for their wives, and wives need to submit everything to their husbands. It’s like a complete total surrender of all our needs, wants and desires for the other person both within the church and within marriage.
vs. 25: Husbands: Agape your wives as Christ agapied the church and gave himself up for her.
Agape love: Sacrificial love
vs. 26-27: Why? To sanctify her
Slips into church: “Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that Jesus might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot and wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” vs. 27
Church application: Christ desires you to grow, mature, develop into holiness.
Role of husband is to present his wife as a princess, as something he is proud to present. Role of husband is to serve her in order to help her feel beautiful, because that’s what Christ does for us!
vs. 28-30: Goes back to analogy: Husbands love your wives as you love yourself. Take care of it. Feed it. Invest in it. Don’t be a slouch, lazy, but take the investment and desire to live well and direct that towards your wife.
vs. 28-30: Goes back to analogy: Husbands love your wives as you love yourself. Take care of it. Feed it. Invest in it. Don’t be a slouch, lazy, but take the investment and desire to live well and direct that towards your wife.
vs. 31: Quote from : Institution of Marriage in the Old Testament
vs. 32: Visible Sign of Marriage points to Union Church has with Christ
Vs. 33: Love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
How does this passage apply to church membership?
How does this passage apply to church membership?
Role of Christ:
1. Place for Grace
1. Place for Grace
Christ Action:
Christ is the head of the Church vs. 23
Role of Christ:
Christ is the Savior of the Church: vs. 23
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her: vs. 25
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
To sanctify the Church: vs. 26
To make the Church holy: vs. 26
To be presentable to the Father as holy and without blemish (vs. 27)
Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church: vs. 29
Christ unites us to himself: vs. 32
Church needs to submit to Christ
Church’s Response to Christ:
Submit to Christ: vs. 22
This is a total surrender. A dying to self. A uniting with Christ.
And our response requires our all!
Why is there is so much work for the husbands to do? Well, it’s not because the wife doesn’t have just as much to do, but because the analogy is describing grace to us!
And our response requires our all!
You want to know how salvation works?
Christ did it all,
You are called to submit!
Christ did this, and this, and this, and that, oh and that too.
You submit.
“I surrender All” isn’t “I surrender some!”
“I surrender All” isn’t “I surrender some!”
We Sung: “Take My Life”
Begins with your relationship with Christ!
Begins with your relationship with Christ!
Take some of my life, and let part of it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take some moments and Sundays;
We Sung: “Take My Life”
Let those flow in ceaseless praise.
Every hour I need You
Let those flow in cease- less praise.
Take some of my life, and let part of it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Every hour I need You
Take some moments and Sundays;
Have you given it all to the Lord?
My one defense, my righteousness
Let those flow in ceaseless praise.
Rich young ruler couldn’t do it, but can you?
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Submissive Culture:
Take my pointer finger, and let it move at the impulse of Thy love.
Grace’s Response is Submission
Grace’s Response is Submission
Take my pinky toe, and let them be
Oh God, how I need You
Let those flow in cease- less praise.
Grace Creates Submissive Culture
Grace Creates Submissive Culture
Have you given it all to the Lord?
swift and beautiful for Thee.
Flows into Your Relationships with Others in the Church
Flows into Your Relationships with Others in the Church
Rich young ruler couldn’t do it, but can you?
Swift and beautiful for thee.
Flows into Your Relationships with Others in the Church
Flows into Your Relationships with Others in the Church
Submit how?
Culture of submission:
1. Marriage Matters in the Church
1. Marriage Matters in the Church
Marriage is the closest analogy we can humanly imagine to Christ and his relationship to us.
So many of us have been robbed of the opportunity to experience that analogy in action!
Submissive Culture:
Marriage is the closest analogy we can humanly imagine to Christ and his relationship to us.
Health of Church depends largely as to how submission and sacrifice are practiced in your home.
so many of us have been robbed of the opportunity to experience that analogy in action!
How our families operate, share notes, disciples, our marriages are illustrations are what’s happening, and our health here will be hugely dependent on what happens at home.
Church Membership:
Imagine your week:
Imagine your week:
How many times did you yell at your kids?
How many times did you argue with your wife?
How often did you pray for your spouse.
If we want health belonging to one another, we need you to take the time to invest in your marriages!
How many times did you yell at your kids?
Go on dates
Practice these principles:
Women:
Submit and Respect
How many times did you argue with your wife?
NOT: Jump. How high?
Don’t know what to submit to!
Listen well to his desires.
How often did you pray for your spouse.
Listen well to his feelings.
Respect:
Takes time asking and probing and listening.
Don’t gossip about your hubby
Don’t gossip about your hubby
If we want health belonging to one another, we need you to take the time to invest in your marriages!
Don’t treat him like a child, even though he may be acting like one. Don’t cave to his level.
Husband:
Love wife as himself
How do you love yourself?
Go on dates
Practice these principles:
Women: Submit and Respect
Narcissism vs. Agape love
Submit
Narcissim is centrifugal love, while agape is contripital love!
NOT: Jump. How high?
Listen well to his desires.
You want to be respected. You need to respect first.
Listen well to his desires.
Listen well to his feelings.
You want to be served? You need to first serve.
Takes time asking and listening.
Praise him. Encouragement
Respect
Don’t gossip about your hubby
Don’t treat him like a child, even though he may be acting like one. Don’t cave to his level.
Don’t patronize or use your words to cut down and harm. Be careful with your comebacks.
You want to be loved? You need to be loved.
Husband: Sacrifice
Husband:
Love wife as himself
How do you love yourself?
You want to be loved the way you want to be loved, which means you need to learn how your wife wants to be loved!
Narcissism vs. Agape love
Narcissism is centrifugal love, while agape is centripetal love!
You want to be respected. You need to respect first.
Listen! How does she feel loved
You want to be served? You need to first serve.
You want to be loved? You need to be loved.
You want to be loved the way you want to be loved, which means you need to learn how your wife wants to be loved!
Listen! How does she feel love
BE THE FIRST TO APOLOGIZE!
Present her to others in glowing terms:
Talk about how amazing she is, how beautiful she looks
Work out your marital problems!
Work out your marital problems!
Do you bring your struggles to confess or to ignore?
Church membership= Honest with our struggles, bear one another up with our struggles, hold each up when we need a helping hand.
Church membership= Honest with our struggles, bear one another up with our struggles, hold each up when we need a helping hand.
Make your marriage metaphor one that mirrors Christ and the Church!
Does Sacrifice and Submission define your marriage?
Sin and Pride
Loneliness and fear
Control and Anger
Resentment and Pain
Leaders don’t give up their calling as leaders, they just have to lead the way they have been called.
Leaders don’t give up their calling as leaders, they just have to lead the way they have been called.
Leaders don’t give up their calling as leaders, they just have to lead the way they have been called.
Witness of Submission and Sacrifice is the Ethics of the Kingdom!
Witness of Submission and Sacrifice is the Ethics of the Kingdom!
What happens in the Church and in the Home transforms society!
What happens in the Church and in the Home transforms society!
Paul was describing this Culture of Submission:
Children must obey their parents.
Parents shouldn’t exasperate their children.
Slaves must obey their masters.
Masters must treat their slaves the way God treats us without favoritism.
Submission Culture Destroyed slavery!
Practical Side of Things:
We belong to his Body
How our marriages and families operate within this family unit is important
Sacrifice:
First to apologize
If you belong to a family, and you bring that family to church, you bring your dynamics to church!
Loves us
The messiness you have at home is multiplied together.