Sermon Tone Analysis

Terrible Pain of Regret

Eric Zorn writes in the Chicago Tribune of a tragic accident that shows the terrible power of anger.

According to Zorn, a man and woman were driving a van in the far left lane of Chicago’s Northwest Tollway in April 1994.

In back were their two children.

A white Cadillac driven by an ex-convict suddenly pulled up behind them, tailgating mere inches from their bumper.

The man driving the van slowed down.

The Cadillac driver pulled into the right lane, passed the van, and then swerved suddenly back in front of the van, so suddenly that the van driver felt he had to swerve to avoid a collision.

The white Cadillac sped away.

The van driver accelerated and gave chase.

He eventually pulled alongside the white Cadillac and reportedly began yelling and screaming.

According to a witness, the two men gestured angrily at each other.

The driver of the Cadillac then pulled a handgun and fired at the van.

The bullet entered the side of the van and hit the baby girl, entering under her left ear and exiting above her right ear.

The little girl lived, but she is blind in one eye, half-blind in the other, partially deaf, and suffers severe mental and physical disabilities.

The man who fired the bullet is in jail.

The parents of the little girl must now live with the terrible pain of regret.

Anger usually escalates—often in tragic, tragic ways.

Have you ever had a moment in life where you wish you could take it back?

Not just actions, but words too...

Words and actions that were driven by revenge…the desire to get even…the moment you decided to play judge, jury and executioner and believed that the punishment you delivered was exactly what was needed at the time…?

Was there ever a time when you acted out in anger and wanted to get your pound of flesh and retaliate against the person who wronged you?

Have you ever harbored an anticipation that in some fashion a certain individual would get what’s coming to them?

Without asking for a show of hands I am fully confident that every one of us here this morning could identify moments of terrible regret because we acted out in revenge....

We live in fallen world that is extremely self-centered…where if someone commits an act of evil against someone else, justice demands equal or harsher treatment of the person who wronged you...

How is the believer to respond when someone treats them unfairly, whether they are in the church or outside the church?

Here’s God’s answer...

Believer’s Don’t Retaliate!

Please open your Bible to Romans 12:17-21 — read.

God doesn’t want our life to be filled with regret because we sought to enact revenge upon those who wrong us...

The world is full of evil people who do evil towards one another…it is expected…but what about when fellow believers wrong each other, whether intentionally or unintentionally...

When you look at the context of 1 Thessalonians, the larger picture is on brotherly love and what results when this kind of love is practiced.

The larger context of Romans 12 provides us with the understanding of the church as a body.

Both passages speak to maintaining oneness…unity.

One of the quickest ways for oneness/unity to be destroyed is when one person seeks revenge.

What it means to be a body is that each part of the body is working together to accomplish the goal…what happens when one part decides to do its own thing or go against the other parts...

Share illustration of broken leg incident…my left leg decided it was going to dig in, my right leg said “let’s go”… the result was a twisted ankle and broken leg…and all sorts of struggles after that…the decision of my left leg wrecked havoc on the rest of my body and not just me…my wife and countless others…my right leg wanted to kick my left leg for getting us into this mess…even to this day, I still experience period pain and discomfort in that leg…how ridiculous and foolish it would’ve been for my right leg to seek vengeance on the left…

…if someone wrongs me, regardless of intentionality, and my response is that of revenge, desiring for them to get what they deserve, the body is no longer functioning the way it ought to function and we loose our effectiveness, we abandon our mission and ruin our testimony....instead of serving and loving one another, we destroy ourselves from the inside out.

Regardless of what is done to us or said about us, our response can never be characteristic of evil.

In other words, when Christians are wronged, regardless of whether that wrong is perceived or real, regardless to the source of that wrong, Christians are to still act like Christians!

I worded that very carefully because there are times when our hearts want to seek revenge over something we PERCEIVE as evil and it was never intended to be evil…sometimes the actions of others can have indirect results to us that were never intended...

For example…take a whistleblower who follows the protocols for reporting workplace abuses…as a result, the boss adds a little more workload or unfavorable conditions to everyone…now the whistleblower is mistreated by everyone instead of just the boss…the whistleblower never intended for anyone else to suffer...

Retaliation/personal revenge can take on many forms...

It doesn’t have to be an “eye for an eye or tooth for tooth” to be considered personal revenge..

Physical violence, Verbal abuse, angry outbursts, gossip, exclusion, slander, cold shoulder, road rage, sabotage, etc.

Sometimes retaliation can be obvious, while at other times it is very subtle…so whether the source of wrong is a believer or an unbeliever, our response to wrong should never be retaliation...

In the time remaining let’s examine 4 practices to employ that will guard our hearts against retaliating...

Do not return evil for evil (17).

Don’t be like this man...

In November 1996 Sports Illustrated reported a bizarre story of competitiveness gone too far.

According to the magazine, in a New Mexico high school football game between Albuquerque Academy and St. Pius-X on October 12, 1996, several of the Academy players found themselves with strange cuts, slashes, and scratches on their arms and hands.

One boy was bleeding freely from three cuts that later required ten stitches to close.

Another boy told his coaches, “It feels like they’ve got razor blades out there.”

Well, almost.

Referee Steve Fuller inspected the equipment of the opposing team.

What he found on the helmet of the offensive center were two chin-strap buckles sharpened to a razor’s edge.

In the investigation that followed, the offending player’s father, a pediatric dentist, admitted to milling the buckles.

He had been angered in the previous game by what he thought was excessive head-slapping against his son by opposing linemen.

This was his solution.

Sports Illustrated reported, “Several observers describe the father, who was working on the sideline chain gang during the Albuquerque Academy St. Pius game, as a hothead.

He was so vocal in his criticism of the officiating during St. Pius’s game against Capital High on Sept. 28 that he was asked to leave the sideline crew.”

Hatred and anger—they’re as ugly and violent as those razor-sharp buckles.

I hate to say it, but the cliche is true…don’t fight fire with fire…the world’s view is that if someone punches you in the face, punch back…if someone insults you, insult them back…if someone does wrong to you…finish this statement “don’t get mad, get ______(even)

Paul calls upon the teaching of Jesus to remind believers of their necessity to be different than the world around them.

or how about what Peter says...

When we go down the path of returning evil for evil, we are following our flesh and opening the opportunity for greater and more difficult scrutiny…unbelievers will look at us and conclude we are no different than anyone else...

Think before you act!

Respect = NASB; give thought = ESV; be careful = NIV; have regard for = NKJV

stronger translation is to “think beforehand”…don’t do anything without thinking through your actions and the implications of them upon yourself, the other party, and your testimony for Christ...

We must give careful thought to our actions beforehand to ensure that whether in speech or action our conduct can withstand the scrutiny of the gospel.

We must stop and ask how does what we are about to do and/or say fit within the life change brought by our response to the gospel…does this positively reflect on the righteous character of Christ that has been graciously bestowed upon me?

First practice is to refuse to fight fire with fire by thinking before you act!

Second ,

Be at peace with all men (18).

This is reminiscent of what Jesus says in Matt 5:9...

The writer of Hebrews conveys the same thought

Notice that Paul provides two qualifying statements.

If possible...

There may be times in our relationships with others that the desire for peace will not happen…Some people just will not let you be at peace with them, no matter what you say or do...

lets look at Heb 12 14 again.

Here the writer not only advocates for peace, he also advocates for sanctification…in other words...

Holiness cannot be sacrificed on the altar of maintaining peace!

If to maintain peace you have to sacrifice truth and honor then peace must be abandoned…if peace will only come by you refusing to speak the truth in love or you have to violate God’s Word, either directly or indirectly, then peace cannot be obtained.

…think about what Jesus says in Matt 10 and Luke 12…there is no such thing as “peace at all costs”

What Jesus is saying here is that although the ultimate end of the gospel is that man can be a peace with God, the immediate result of the gospel is conflict…godliness and ungodliness are at war… so choosing to be godly and choosing to remain godly in your relationships can create conflict for others…sadly that is true even with those who claim Christ!

...as much as depends on you

As we said, there are times when peace cannot be achieved…but we must be sure that we have not contributed to the lack of peace…we must make sure we have not placed any unbiblical standard upon the situation, we must make sure our attitude is right, we must do everything we can to pursue peace without compromising God’s word in the process...

God only holds us accountable for our part of the problem…if we have taken care of our part and sought forgiveness for our contribution to the conflict, we cannot be accountable for the lack of peace if the other party will not accept our effort to restore peace.

The other person may try to lay blame on you for the lack of peace, or put unreasonable demands upon you for peace to exist…you cannot control their responses or their demands…you can only control what you think, say or do…you are only responsible for you,

The limit to your actions and attitudes is between you and God.

We’ve got to be careful here not to justify our sin by saying “it is between me and God” and then not follow through with our part to solve the problem...

The point here is that no one can place demands on our actions to follow a specific plan that appeases them…especially if that plan causes you to violate God’s Word...

Third practice

Leave room for God’s wrath (19-20).

Three times in this chapter Paul says we are not to seek revenge…Rom 12:17, 19, 21.

Why he would state this three times is unknown…perhaps this was a real problem for them…or maybe Paul was so moved by what he experienced in grace and forgiveness that he wanted that for them also…could be both...

Enacting right judgment and discipline for misdeeds is not our prerogative…because of the sin in our own life, our judgment of the right course of action towards evil is not always the best…that is why we must make room, lit to “give it or grant it”…we can’t do it right, so we give that responsibility to God.

You cannot play God and avenge yourself.

Paul appeals to the Old Testament to make his point...

The context of this passage indicates that the Lord will intervene to vindicate his people when their enemies abuse them and gloat over them.

When Jesus was mistreated, he was the object of a far more agonizing amount of suffering that was clearly unjust…and he could have taken vengeance upon them and would have been fully justified for doing so…but what did He do?