Sermon Tone Analysis

Intro: For most of us the ability to feel God’s presence in personal relationship is related to our ability to do good.

When do you feel close to God?

When do you feel far away from God?

Does Performance Drive Your Parenting?

By Ted Cunningham

The many faces of trophy parenting

I believe performance-driven parenting can be divided into a number of different categories.

Like me, you may struggle with some or many of the following parenting tendencies.

Let’s look at each of these behaviors, and then we’ll discuss some solutions that can help us stop the bus.

Vanity Parenting means using a child’s accomplishments and attributes to impress family and friends.

It only takes a few minutes on Facebook to see this parent in full swing.

Her status updates are carefully crafted to present an image she wants the world to see.

If her children appear successful, then she will look successful.

Perfection Parenting raises the bar too high.

This parent experiences frequent irritation and frustration when his children make mistakes or don’t measure up.

The issue is not that his kids are “not getting it,” but rather that his expectations are misplaced.

Competitive Parenting compares the strengths and weaknesses of her child to that of other children.

When we compare our child’s weaknesses to the strengths of another, we live in defeat and discouragement.

Comparing a child’s strengths to another’s weaknesses will give the child an overinflated view of himself.

Each child is unique, so no comparing necessary.

ROI Parenting looks for a “return on investment” from sports and activities.

The hope is that one day the time and money spent on activities will be paid back in the form of college scholarships or a career in that particular activity.

There is nothing wrong with signing kids up for organized leagues, but when we commit them to specific activities at early ages, they miss out on other opportunities, not to mention valuable playground time and neighborhood pickup games.

Gifted Parenting believes God did something extra special in the birth of her child.

This tendency is often seen in parents who struggled with infertility or endured a long adoption process.

Parents who believe their child is extra special look for extra special opportunities and activities for their child.

Companion Parenting has parents shifting their performance expectations of kids to be relational in nature.

This can happen in a home where the parent needs a buddy to participate in sports or hobbies.

It can also happen in a strained marriage (or single-parent home) where the child takes on the emotional burdens of a spouse.

Rescue Parenting takes an unexpected route toward success.

These parents create “successful” environment for their kids by protecting them from loss, pain and struggle.

This is the hovering parent who nurses them through challenging situations by simply removing failure as an option.

This parent forgets that character is built more on the bench than on the field.

We all have stories of trials that shaped us into who we are today.

“now” signifies a contrast to 7:14-25

Condemnation is no longer a part of the believers life.

What governs this condition of condemnation-free-ness is being “in Christ”

This is practical, spiritual, and supernatural

Why is this important?

Romans 8:2

Capitol S points to Holy Spirit

“law” = generic sense meaning anything that governs action

So “law of Spirit” = Holy Spirit calling shots & “law of sin and of death” = fallen situation

How has God accomplished this?

Romans 8:3-4

Capitol L = Mosaic law

Our deprived nature prevented it from saving us

“likeness” = no sin, sin not necessary for humanness

“fulfilled” the Mosaic law for us - there is a difference between keeping the Law to gain God’s favor and learning to live like Jesus through sanctification.

Paul calls this new reality “walking according to the Spirit.”

Why it is so important to be “of the Spirit”?

Romans 8:5-8

Reason #1 Before Christ our minds were set on things of the world and letting those rule us (walking in the flesh)

There is a difference between setting your mind of the world and struggling with old sin habits in the process of sanctification.

Reason #2 Fleshly mind is hostile toward God (not allowing God to be God) this leads to death.

Whereas the Spirit lets God be God and leads to life.

Reason #3 Fleshly mind can’t keep the Law of God (7:14-25)

Reason #4 Fleshly mind can’t please God - people mistakenly confuse horseshoes with relating to God.

You either keep all of the Law or you accept His gift of grace.

Conclusion:

Our relationship with God is based on mercy, grace, love & faith.

Mercy = God not giving us what we deserve

Grace = God giving us what we don’t deserve

Love = God relating to us unconditionally

Faith = our part, believing and living in the light of the first three.