Sermon Tone Analysis

Intro

Paul is taking time now in Colossians to directly address the Christian family.

Last Sunday we looked at the relationship between husbands and wives -

God has placed the husband as the head of the family which means he has the responsibility of leadership.

He is commanded to love His wife in the sacrificial manner that Christ loves the church and cherish her the same way he cherishes his own body.

This love includes being her provider and protector.

The husband is also commanded to lead his family into sanctification that they may be holy and blameless.

God will hold him accountable for how well he fulfills his role and responsibilities.

He is also responsible to make her his life’s study as he seeks to know and understand her while giving her honor as a joint heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).

This is true even though she is extremely different from him in her emotions and the way she thinks, but that is part of the challenge, so be a man and rise up to the challenge.

The wife has the supporting role.

This is by no means an inferior position for she has equal value before God.

It is only a recognition that God has given her different gifts, abilities and responsibilities.

A woman needs to be careful about whom she marries for she will need to willingly submit to her husband’s leadership while demonstrating chaste and respectful behavior to him even when he does not lead as he should (1 Peter 3:1-6).

Submission is an act of her will and not something coerced or forced.

Her submission demonstrates her love and trust of God through her service to her husband.

Her submission is first to God and then because of that she secondarily submits to her husband.

In verse 20 here Paul is now shifting to speak to the children.

As parents, we desire for our children to obey.

We want our children to be mindful.

Where does this desire come from though?

We may label our discipline efforts as good parenting or perhaps christian discipleship, but the truth is that we want to be successful parents.

We want obedient children so that our lives will be comfortable and we also want our children’s obedience to be a reflection to others.

This desire is not necessarily a bad thing.

The problem arises when it becomes the most important thing.

When the desire for our children’s obedience is solely for the purpose of our own benefit rather than it being done to please the Lord, problems arise.

The ugly idol of self can show its head in this way in our lives as well.

There are many kids who obey their parents and then once they get out into the world, they walk away from God, their families, and sometimes even worse.

As parents, this is exactly the opposite of what we want for our children.

Kids, we want you to learn that obedience is a good thing, not simply something to avoid a consequence.

This type of demand for a child’s obedience is what leads to Paul’s command to fathers in verse 21.

Sometimes verse 20 has been over-emphasized, and verse 21 forgotten, in the zeal of parents not to spare the rod lest they spoil the child.

Sometimes verse 21 has been over-stressed, and the rights of the individual child allowed to range free, trampling the rights of family, friends, neighbours and anyone else in the way, for fear lest young life be crushed or twisted.

Both sides are clearly necessary.

Children need discipline; so do parents.

Children, showing obedience to your parents, shows your obedience to Jesus.

Children in the culture.

To the children.

First off, Paul addressing the children makes an assumption that there were children present in the assembly while the letter was being written.

Just as we have children in our service today, Paul was addressing the children that were gathered in their service as well.

Paul’s address the the children by itself was outside the cultural norm.

It was very unusual to address children as independent, responsible subjects.

Looking at the people and culture that Paul was writing to.

We must remember that Paul is writing mostly to gentile Christians.

In the gentile world -

CHILDREN WERE LEGALLY regarded as their fathers’ property, and their status, theoretically, was little better than that of slaves.

Paul used this as an example in Galatians

The father decided whether a newborn child would be raised or exposed to die, granted permission for his children to marry, decided whom they could marry, and could even force a divorce.

Children were expected to obey their parents to uphold the family honor.

Nearly half of the children in ancient Rome died before they reached age 10.

This is the background that these believers are coming in with.

The male head of household, the pater-familias was the ruler of the home.

They were the king of the castle so to speak.

They maintained authority in their family until death.

So telling children to obey was not outside the cultural norm, but again, addressing children in this way was.

This instruction here to obey is not the same as what Paul was talking to about wives in verse 18.

While there is a sense of obedience in submission, remember that it is a willing submission on the part of the wife.

The obedience Paul is calling for here is active obedience.

It means to follow instructions, to be subject to.

This includes willing obedience but also doing the things that you don’t want to do, but will because you are told.

The specific audience Paul is writing to here though potentially includes more than just small children, but all children in a household, including adult children.

The Greek word used here (teknon), much like our English “children,” can refer to almost any age group.

The ancient “household” would often have included adult, and even married, children, so it is possible that Paul’s exhortation applies to all children, of any age.

Paul’s concern in these verses is with the household, the whole family, and the relationships that they have with one another.

His concern is for God honoring, Christian homes.

The the Christians is Colosse would represent Jesus with their whole lives and in every relationship that they had.

Paul is reminding the family that relationships now as believers ought to be rooted in Christ and his teaching rather than the what was culturally accepted.

Paul’s theology.

We must also remember Paul’s background.

Paul was raised in the Jewish tradition.

While yes, discipline was still important, children were considered more of a blessing than a commodity.

Does anyone know the fifth commandment off the top of their head?

Paul’s command here is a variation of the command given in the ten commandments.

Obedience to your parents was extremely important in Jewish culture.

Under the law, a stubborn and disobedient child could be put to death.

Look to Exodus 20:12 with me again.

This is a command, with a promise attached.

The prior commandments were all concerned in one way or another with the necessity of honoring God as a basic means of keeping his covenant.

Now comes a commandment that follows logically because it is concerned with honoring parents, who have the awesome role in the family of representing God to their children.

There is not promise here of individually long life spans.

Rather the promise refers to God’s protection of his covenant people if and as long as they keep his covenant.

Teaching children to obey.

The truth is though in learning to obey our parents, we are learning to be obedient to God.

Teaching children to WANT to obey is far more important than teaching them to look like they are obeying.

Early in our children’s lives parents to work toward obedience without giving much explanation.

But as your child gets older we must begin helping them understand that there is much more to obedience than making mom and dad smile.

James Montgomery Boice offers this advice -

The obligation is not merely on the side of the child, who must obey, but also on the side of the parent, who must enforce the obedience.

This is because the parent stands as God in relationship to the child.

To teach the child to obey the parent is to teach the child to obey God.

To allow the child to defy and disobey the parent is to teach the child to defy and disobey God with all the obvious consequences.”

So kids, who in here likes to obey their parents when there is some sort of treat or reward involved.

What are some of your favorite treats or rewards?

Now how about when you are simply told to do something, like perhaps clean up your room, sweep the kitchen, do the dishes, mow the lawn, or some other chore that you don’t get a reward for?

Is that harder to want to do?

Adults - how much is that still true in your lives?

Let’s take speeding for example.

Do we stay under the speed limit out of willful submission?

Or do we slam on the breaks when we see the cop car over the horizon?

Do we obey the law because it’s right?