Matthew 18:21-35 Forgiven People Forgive: The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

The Meaning of the Parables  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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Christians must forgive others because God has forgiven them so much more.

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Intro

Isn’t it funny how when we are driving in traffic and we cut someone off and they honk at us, our first thought is, “Well I had to do it. I had to get over to that lane to make that exit. They just didn’t understand what circumstances I was in. They should be a little more kind. It’s just part of driving.”
But when someone cuts us off and we have to slam our brakes we immediately think how big of an idiot that person has to be. I mean they shouldn’t have a license. In fact, they shouldn’t even be able to have friends or a family or any joy in this life at all because of how stupid they are!
Why is it that when we are the ones in the wrong we want others to understand and show us kindness, but when other people wrong us we want them to pay?
The answer is because it is not natural for us to give grace. It is not natural for us to forgive others. We all want to be given grace when someone else has to make that sacrifice, but we don’t like it when we are the ones who have to do the forgiving.
Knowing this, Jesus told us a very important parable in to show us that we has Christians must be the first to forgive others because we ourselves were forgiven of so much first. Jesus’ story teaches us that forgiven people forgive.

Context

Before we dive into this parable, we need to get a little bit of context for why Jesus told it to his disciples in the first place.
In , Jesus tells another parable to teach his disciples about the Father’s heart towards sinners. He said, What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. 14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
In this short story, Jesus tells us a truth about God that is the very foundation of our faith. He is a God of grace.
When we go astray, God doesn’t sit there tapping his foot thinking to himself how you should have done better, but God comes after you. He pursues you because it is not his will that one of his sheep should perish because of sin.
And then, Jesus moves from this story to lay out what is commonly understood to be the process of church discipline.
Now we are a church that strives to practice biblical church discipline. And people get a little antsy when they hear church discipline because they immediately think of excommunication or removing a member from the church.
They think that it shows no grace. That it is harsh and legalistic, and who are we to judge anyway because we are all sinners.
And while that is true, we must see two very important aspects about church discipline.
Church discipline is a process. It is a long road of unrepentant willful sin that leads to someone’s removal from the church. It is not an instantaneous decision.
Church discipline is rooted in God’s heart to restore people to the church. This is why Jesus introduced this teaching with the parable of the lost sheep. He was trying to show us that the goal of church discipline is not punitive in nature, but is given for the purpose of redeeming the sinner.
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
So this is how Jesus has told us to deal with unrepentant sin. First, if a brother or sister sins against us, we must go to them one on one and seek to reconcile the relationship. If they repent, we are to forgive and show grace like the Father shows grace and we gain our brother or sister back.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
But if they refuse to repent, we take one or two others with us that have witnessed the sin or have heard what happened and said, “You know what. That is sin. We must go tell them.” If they repent, then we are to forgive and show grace like the Father and we gain our brother or sister back.
But if they still do not repent of their sin and turn from their sin, then the matter is taken before the whole church who pleads with them to repent and follow Christ. And if they repent, we are to forgive and show grace like the Father and if they do not they are to be to us a Gentile and tax collector. This is excommunication. They are to be treated as an unbeliever. And this Paul tell’s us in is done in hope. That we remove them from the church to hand them over to Satan in hope that they will see their sin for what it is and repent and return to the church where we are called to forgive and show grace like the Father.
Remember that Jesus started this teaching by showing us that the Father’s heart is to pursue the sheep that goes astray so that they would be brought back into the fold instead of perishing in their sin.
Church Discipline was given to the church as a safeguard for maintaining a holy witness. According the the Bible, the local church is meant to be a reflection of the universal church.
That means, in as much as possible, the members of local congregations should be comprised of only regenerate Christians. Those that have been saved.
If Baptism and the Lord’s Supper are the fence around the sheep, then Church Discipline is the gate that allows us to remove goats (that is false Christians) and wolves (false teachers) from the flock so that we might maintain our holy witness before the world that Jesus saves.
And Jesus knows this is a difficult process, one that by God’s grace we won’t have to work through together as a congregation, because he says in verse 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
This is commonly used to affirm that Christ is present with us in our worship gatherings but Jesus gave this promise to encourage the church to work towards holiness together.
It is so much easier to just let sin go unchecked in someone’s life allowing them to make a total wreck of their faith.
But Jesus encourages us to do the hard work of pursuing our brothers and sisters like God pursues the lost sheep so that they will not perish because of their sin.
And this is where we begin our passage because hearing this, Peter comes up to Jesus and asks him the same question that you and I are to ashamed to admit.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
Hearing Jesus say that the goal for church discipline is always forgiveness and grace because that is the very heart of the Father, Peter asks Jesus, “Ok. That sounds good Jesus, but how many times do we actually have to forgive a brother or sister who sins against us? The plan you laid out is good and all, but don’t people use up all their tickets at a certain point? How many times do we have to forgive them before we can just be done with them?”
And Peter even puts a number on it. He says “As many as seven times?”
Now Peter used this number intentionally. Rabbis in Jesus’ day often said that you only had to forgive someone for something three times. After that you could write them off.
Peter more than doubles that number so he is actually trying to learn from Jesus and be more generous than the religious hypocrites of the day.
Now you might think Peter’s question is foolish or harsh, but consider your own life. Have you ever given up on someone because they were just too frustrating? Where you let a relationship sour because they didn’t deserve your forgiveness after everything they’ve done?
We all have this bent. To throw people out as soon as they start becoming inconvenient. We think to ourselves, Well who needed them anyway and we cut them out of our life and move on.
But according to Jesus, that is not the right answer. He said, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Now Jesus is not saying, “No, Peter. 7 is far to few. You have to up it. You need to forgive them 77 times, but then on the 78th time, you can light them up.”
By saying not seven times but seventy-seven times, Jesus is saying “As many as it takes.”
Peter, you are called to forgive as much as necessary because that is the Father’s heart towards you.
And to illustrate this point, Jesus tells his disciples a parable.

A Debt Forgiven

Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
So Jesus describes a king who wished to settle accounts.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
A king would have had several officials who handled money for his empire, and this king decided that it was time to see how his servants had managed the money they were entrusted with.
And one such servant was brought to the king who owed him 10,000 Talents.
Now for you to feel the enormity of this debt, I need to do some background work for you.
Even one Talent was an extraordinary amount of money. It was the highest monetary unit of the day.
To put it in perspective for Jesus’ disciples, King Herod was a notoriously opulent king in Jesus’ day. He loved wealth and showing it off. The annual revenue in Herod’s whole kingdom was about 900 talents.
So the servant in Jesus’ story owed the king more than ten times the entire annual revenue of their whole region. Consider that. There is less money in circulation in the entire country than what Jesus uses in his story.
This was more than 275,000 years’ wages for the average worker.
This is more money than even exists in Jes
So not only does Jesus use a talent which is the largest unit of money in his day, but he also says that this servant owes the king 10,000 talents. 10,000 is the largest number the greek language had a particular word for.
So Jesus is saying this servant owes more money than his disciples could even imagine in their wildest dreams.
Jesus’ point is that this servant owes the king more money that any servant of any king would ever be able to pay.
And because he could not pay, the king ordered him to be sold along with his wife and children and everything he had to make payment.
Even in doing this the king wasn’t trying to get his money back. He would’ve been lucky to get 1 talent from this sale.
The king wasn’t concerned about recouping his money. He wanted to punish this servant for how poorly he had managed the kings finances.
Seeing his dire situation Jesus says that this servant falls on his knees and begged the king for mercy promising to repay him everything.
He was hoping beyond hope. We have already seen how in hundreds of thousands of lifetimes this man would never be able to pay back the king.
The king is moved by the servant’s pleas. Jesus even says that he had pity or compassion on him, and so what does the king do?
He didn’t continue on with his plan to sell the servant and his whole family.
He didn’t say, You know what, you can try to pay me back. I’ll give you an extension.
No. Jesus says that the king “released him and forgave him the debt.”
Can you believe it? This debt. This extravagant impossible debt is just gone. The king forgave it.
And Jesus uses this story to say, “Peter, the kingdom of heaven is like that.”
In God’s kingdom, the Father forgives impossible debts just like the king in Jesus’ story.
You see, in the parable, you and I are the servant and God is the king.
A common metaphor for sin in the Bible is debt. It is something we owe God, and just like this servant, we owed God a debt we could never pay in a million years.
God made us to worship him.
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.”
Now being made in God’s image means that we were made to live for and reflect who he is to creation. Particularly to be a display of his holiness by living holy life for his glory..
But, in Adam and Eve, we sinned against God. We failed to live for him and for his glory and because of our sin we incurred an infinite debt.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
We rebelled against God as the King of Kings and in doing so we became God’s enemies deserving of his judgement.
In , some religious leaders come to Jesus and ask him whether it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, a pagan ruler over the Jews. Jesus tells them to bring him a coin so that he can look at it. And -17 says, And they brought one. And he said to them, “Whose likeness and inscription is this?” They said to him, “Caesar’s.” 17 Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”
That word likeness is the same word for “image.” And here is the significance. If Jesus says because the coin has Caesar’s image on it, it should be given to him. In the same way, because you and I bear God’s image, then all of our life should be given to God in worship.
We owed God perfect holiness and worship but every single one of us fell short of his holiness, of representing his image, because of our sin.
We had an impossible debt just like the servant in Jesus’ story because God, in his holiness, requires perfect holiness from every person. This poses a problem because if you lived your life perfectly except for one single sin, you would never be able to pay God back. All your perfect righteous works would do nothing to wipe away that one moment of sin.
You are in debt forever.
But just like we are the servant in Jesus’ story, God is the King.
God, in his loving mercy, had pity on us. He forgave us our infinite, impossible debt against him.
Not by Just doing away with it or ignoring it, but paying for it himself.
The Bible is clear that the wages or payment for sin is death. And Jesus Christ, God incarnate, came to earth and lived a sinless perfect life in our place, suffered and died on the cross as our substitue and rose again 3 days later in victory.
All of those that put their faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of their sins have their debt paid for by God himself. They are forgiven and adopted as sons and daughters not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ.
not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ,
God himself paid our debt of sin with Jesus blood and when we put our faith in Jesus we are forgiven just like the servant in Jesus’ story from a debt we could have never paid.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
Oh what grace our God has shown us in Christ. And this is Jesus’ point, that God is a forgiving king like that.

A Debt Upheld

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
So Jesus says this same servant who was forgiven this impossible debt goes and finds another one of the king’s servants who owes him a hundred denarii.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
For perspective a hundred denarii was about a hundred day’s wages so this was still a debt but in comparison to what the first servant owed its absolute pennies.
And does this servant think to himself, “Look at how much debt I was just forgiven. I can let that go the same way it was done for me!”
No! This servant grabs his fellow servant, begins to strangle him saying “You better pay me every penny you owe me!”
And this second servant fell down on his knees and pleaded with the first saying please be patient with me and I will pay you back all that I owe you.
Notice that the second servant uses the same plea as the first. Hearing this after being forgiven his enormous debt by the king should have given him pause, but Jesus says that he refused.
He refused is literally he was not willing. This showed a conscious decision to harden his hard. He was dead set on refusing to offer the same forgiveness he himself had received.
And Jesus says that the first servant had the second thrown in prison until he should pay the debt.
This made it impossible for the second servant to pay the debt himself. He would have to rely on friends and family to raise the money to get him out of jail.
The forgiven servant leaves the presence of the king and instead of extending grace he was given he rains down judgement on his fellow servant.
This mortifies the other servants of the king because Jesus continues the story saying...

A Debt Revisited

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
When the king hears what the servant has done he brings him back and asks the servant “How could you do such a thing?”
Did you not see how much I forgave you and you go after your fellow servant and throw him in prison? Shouldn’t you have given him the same kind of mercy that I had given you?
And so the king did to the servant what he did to his fellow servant. He held his debt against him and threw him to the jailers until his debt was fully paid.
Now the word jailers is actually torturers. The king is punishing this servant for the debt he owed
And Jesus closes his parable with a stern warning. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
We have to do a little bit of unpacking on this verse because at face value it seems like Jesus is saying that in order to get God to save us we have to forgive other people. In other words we have to do something to earn forgiveness.
However, that is not what Jesus is saying because the Bible clearly teaches that we can’t work our way out of our debt. Even Jesus’ own parable says that. We are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. So what in the world is Jesus saying here?
Jesus is saying that if we hold our brothers and sisters small debts to us against them, then God will hold our debt against us at the day of judgement.
Why? Because those that refuse to forgive others their sins show they have no concept of how much God has forgiven them in the gospel.
For Jesus, to deny forgiveness to others is to deny the very forgiveness God gives us in Jesus Christ.
And this is not just lip service. Jesus says that we must forgive from the heart. That means we can’t just say, “Oh, you know, I forgive you, I guess” while we still hold their sin against them by harboring bitterness in our heart. True forgiveness is releasing their debt and giving them grace.
The big idea that Jesus is warning us in this verse is that when we refuse to forgive other people for the ways they sin against us, we need to question whether or not we have actually been forgiven in Christ ourselves. Because if we really understood just how much God has forgiven us in the gospel, we will not be able to keep from forgiving them.
Because in the economy of the kingdom of heaven, forgiven people forgive.
That is the point of Jesus’ parable. So if Jesus is telling us that we as Christians must be the first to forgive others when they sin against us, we need to understand two very important things. First What forgiveness is, and second what forgiveness is not.

What Forgiveness Is

An Action
Forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a conscious choice we make to give grace to someone else.
Because of this, true forgiveness is best formalized and made explicit. What I mean by that is that whether we are lovingly confronting the other person or they are coming to us to repent, we say from the heart, “I forgive you.”
We cheapen grace when we just say ok or don’t worry about it. Treating sin that way is a failure to see sin for the deadly thing as it is. Sin cannot just glossed over, it must be forgiven.
can take days or years
A Process
The moment of forgiveness where someone repents to us and we, like Christ, say I forgive you happens in an instant.
However, forgiveness from the heart can take time. Depending on the sin committed against us, on the pain it has caused us, we might need to continually forgive the other person.
Now this doesn’t mean we go to the other person every time we feel the anger or pain of their sin and say, “Hey that sin from a couple weeks ago where I said I forgive you, I got upset again so I forgive you again.”
No. When we forgive someone after they repent, its over. However, the process of forgiveness guards us against the root of bitterness as we take their sin to the Lord and say, “God, I know they have repented and you have forgiven them just like you have forgiven me, will you help me to trust that Jesus took care of this sin and I can really forgive them.”
A Cancelling of a Debt
In much the same way as when we sin against God, when someone sins against you a debt is incurred. Forgiveness then is refusing to treat someone as if if they owe you.
When God forgives you in Christ, he no longer holds that sin against you. Its not like if you sin against him again and go to him and repent, God answers you with, “OK. That’s two.” Because he already wiped away the first sin.
When we forgive someone and they sin against us again, we can’t say, “Thats two.” That actually reveals we failed to forgive them the first time. we never canceled the debt.
When we forgive we are effectively saying, “I remember this sin no more.” That is what “I forgive you” really means.
refusing to allow bitterness to take root
A Gift
Forgiveness is something that is given not earned. To make someone work for our forgiveness is to fail to show them the same grace that God showed us.
It is a free gift of God that leads to our salvation, and therefore our forgiveness should be given as a free gift when they repent.
Forsaking revenge
It is natural for us to want to get even when we are sinned against, but true forgiveness puts revenge in the hands of the Lord.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
That’s not fair! Someone will pay for it
The tendency of our flesh when we are sinned against and commanded to forgive is to say, “That’s not fair! Do you know how bad they hurt me? Do you know what they did? They don’t deserve to just be forgiven!”
But here is the dangerous thing, when we treat others with that lack of grace after the Lord has forgiven us of so much, we are actually making ourselves God. The day of judgement belongs to God alone and when we assume his position as judge, we idolatrously impinge on his deity.
Refusing to forgive actually reveals an idolatrous heart where we are the only god and all others must worship us perfectly or face our wrath.
For the Christian, even if someone is not a Christian or refuses repent, we can trust God’s justice. Someone will pay for that sin.
God’s forgiveness does not overlook sin, he pays for it himself. That means that if they are a brother or sister in faith we can trust that that sin was punished in the Lord on the cross and if they are not a Christian that they will eventually pay for their sin when they stand before the Lord at the day of judgement and we can forgive them in hope that they will see a picture of the gospel and repent and believe in Jesus.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Denying Sin
When we forgive someone we aren’t saying, “Oh no big deal.”
When we forgive we are saying no this sin is a big deal and it was such a big deal that Jesus died for it, and because he died for it, I can forgive you.
Enabling Sin
Some people think that when we are called to forgive seventy seven times that we should just ignore someone’s life of sin.
However, to forgive is not to allow a brother or sister to remain stuck in their cycle of sin. For the Christian, repentance must follow sin or else the church must act in discipline because true repentance always results in a change in life. True repentance results in sin being put to death.
So what I’m not saying is if you are in a marriage and your spouse is verbally abusing you only to come back time after time saying “I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?” That Jesus’ teaching requires you to sit their and take it for years on end.
True forgiveness can only happen when their is repentance and if their is not repentance you need to go with other Christians or come to your church leadership to pursue the sheep led astray by their sin.
We don’t enable sin. We call sin to be put to death.
Covering Up A Crime
If someone has stolen from you, or abused you, or assaulted you, forgiveness does not mean you relinquish your right to seek justice.
You can still forgive someone and seek legal action.
Forgetting
Now how does this one match up to where we said forgiveness is where we cancel a debt someone has incurred?
In For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” He did not mean he has no recollection of it. That is impossible. God knows everything.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .
What it means is that God doesn’t begrudgingly hold that sin against us because the punishment for that sin was paid for in Christ.
It means he doesn’t allow sin to be the basis of our identity and how he interacts with us.
Forgiveness isn’t denying someone sinned against you. It’s refusing to let the sin determine your relationship.
To demand someone who was sinned against in a grievous way the right to feel hurt or pain from that sin even after they’ve forgiven the offender is to lay a heavy burden on those who need healing.
Trust
Forgiveness happens in a moment but trust is built up over time.
When we sin against one another, trust is eroded. Sometimes the sin erodes trust that can be rebuilt in a matter of minutes. Sometimes it can take days, months or even years.
Practically, when we sin against others, we must work to rebuild that trust even though forgiveness for the sin was already freely given.
Reconciliation
It takes one person to forgive and one sinner to repent, but you need both if you are going to reconcile.
Therefore, if you don’t have both of these elements, repentance and forgiveness then the relationship will remain continually broken.
So two things.
If you are the sinning party who comes and repents to your brother or sister and they refuse to forgive you, then there is nothing else you can do. As for as the Lord is concerned the responsibility falls on their shoulders.
Now if you are the one sinned against, how are you supposed to move forward if the other refuses to repent.
If the person is a brother or sister in Christ and they refuse to repent, then you progress through . This is why the Lord provided church discipline. To try and show the seriousness of sin to the offending party in hopes that they repent and if they don’t they prove that they are not following the Lord because when confronted with sin, the Christians only response can be repentance.
Plus, not ignoring their sin is the most loving response we can have to their sin. Jesus said earlier in while discussing church discipline that if our brother or sister sins against us we must confront them. It is the loving thing to do because to ignore their sin is to let them be a sheep going astray only to perish when God’s heart is to leave the 99 to save the one.
What if the person is not a Christian so they see no need for repentance? Biblically, I can’t show you that you are required to forgive them. Biblically speaking, forgiveness comes after repentance. This is how the Lord even works with us.
If repentance doesn’t happen, church discipline comes into play instead
However, let me give you some pastoral wisdom. I think our pattern should be to hand their sin to the Lord and his justice and we forgive like Jesus.
While hanging on the cross, no one was repenting to Jesus. No one was coming and saying, Jesus, I’m sorry I hung you up there. I sinned will you please forgive me?
But what did Jesus say? Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
I think wisdom would say to follow the pattern of our Lord and forgive even when someone doesn’t repent because doing so will guard you against bitterness.
When we do this, we are entrusting their sin to the Lord. Trusting that someone is eventually going to pay for that sin whether it is the Lord Jesus or themselves as they bear their condemnation.
Bitterness is a poison that affects your whole life if you allow it to take root it will consume you. The only way to guard against bitterness is forgiveness from the heart.
Forgiving like Jesus on the cross

Application

So for application this week, I want us all to really pray and consider two questions:
Who do you need to repent to and ask forgiveness from?
Who have you sinned against and failed to repent and seek reconciliation?
Who do you need to forgive?
Who has repented to you but you are still holding bitterness in your heart instead of doing what Jesus said and forgiving them from the heart?
Or who has sinned against you in a way that has broken the relationship where you need to obey Mathew 18:15 and confront in love to bring them back from their sin so that through confession they might be forgiven?

Conclusion

Jesus’ point in the parable is clear. Forgiven people forgive. When we fail to forgive others, we show that we don’t truly understand the enormous debt God forgave us in Christ. When we were in so much debt that we could have never done enough to earn God’s forgiveness he sent Jesus, God incarnate to live a sinless life as our substitute and die the death we deserve for our sin and rise again so that when we put our faith in him we can be forgiven. May we be a church that forgives others like God in Christ forgave us.
Let’s pray
You must choose to forgive someone. Not to simply ignore them or their sin and let it slip away unnoticed. Jesus said earlier in while discussing church discipline that if our brother or sister sins against us we must confront them. It is the loving thing to do because to ignore their sin is to let them be a sheep going astray only to perish when God’s heart is to leave the 99 to save the one.
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