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Introduction
As we talk about Love and Marriage.
I think it’s important that we include people that are single in this conversation.
And not just in the way of future expectation.
The Apostle Paul, as he writes this passage about marriage, is single and is content in his singleness.
1 Cor 7:6-7
According to the Census of 2017 there are 82 million single person households in the U.S. alone.
I polled some single inside and outside our church with two questions.
What do you like most about being single and what do you hate about being single.
What I like most about being single?
I like that I don’t have to worry about someone feeling second best.
I am able to give my full attention to what’s in front of me, wether that is school , work, family time, spending it with friends or just being alone to recoup.
I don’t have to worry about balancing someone’s feelings with mine on a deep intimate level.
I’m able to focus on what I need emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually in the time I have right now.
I can give the proper time to healing, growing, working on the relationship I have with God, bettering my family and close friendships.
I get the time to figure out what standards I’m going to hold myself to in a relationship/marriage and what I expect back on the same level.
Learning what my best is on both my good and bad days, being kind to myself first and compassionate to others, learning what courage in vulnerability means for me, working on my trust issues and doubts.
What I hate about being single ?
What I hate most about being single is feeling like I’ll never have that true partnership.
The impulsive feelings of loneliness when I don’t feel good enough.
Worrying that whoever I end up will leave.
Doubting if I’ll ever be fully known outside of Jesus in an intimate relationship.
I hate the feeling of not having a true companion outside of my family and close friends.
That whoever I end up with won’t love Jesus or will suffer a crisis of belief and walk away from our faith.
I hate not having someone to invest in on an intimate level.
I worry no one will love me like I love them.
Pros of being Single
A counsel of one (You are the sole decision maker for your house.)
Responsible for yourself alone (less anxiety of providing and caring for a family).
Quick life transition (You can make moves quicker with less baggage).
Full attention and focus in the direction of your choice.
(carrier, school, ministry)
Social freedoms (hanging with friends without obligation).
Independence of Time
Undivided time
Freedom to minister to and serve others.
Cons of being Single
Pressure of the dating scene in this social media age (Uncovering the real person and not their social presence).
Times of loneliness (both emotionally and physically).
Lack of intimacy with
Fighting the feeling of embarrassment after a while.
(Just because I don’t have someone doesn’t mean I can’t get someone).
The lie of loneliness (Finding contentment in your relationship with God when the Devil is telling you’re not wanted or loved).
Independence of Time (the desire to share your life with someone else).
No sharing of responsibilities.
Having
So, Because of the pros and cons, there are singles that want to find a relationship and some that are content with being single and both are right and good.
The Apostle Paul, as he writes this passage about marriage, is single and is content in his singleness.
If you are single this morning I want you to start thinking differently about your singleness.
Many times single people have feelings of loneliness or lack of fulfilment because they are not married.
But what if you could change the understanding of your singleness and see it as a blessing and a calling from the Lord to focus your full attention on building the kingdom of God.
This is the message that Paul delivers about himself in .
If you are married or in a relationship this morning don’t check out because Paul has a direct message for you as well.
Rethinking Single
Being single allows me to focus on the ministry God has for me without any of the distractions that comes with marriage.
Jesus, being single, illustrates this point with his life.
Jesus considered it a gift from God to be single as did Paul.
Celibate from birth.
Castrated for service to men (house servants)
Celibate fo the sake of the kingdom.
Singleness is not for everyone.
Jesus taught a simple truth about marriage
Self-control is the key for kingdom minded singles.
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit
If you burn with passion you don’t have the gift of celibacy and therefore should marry.
Remove the Anxieties
I will trust the Lord to provide all my needs spiritually, emotionally, and physically while giving Him my undivided devotion.
1 Cor 7:
1 Cor 7:
Don’t fall into the trap of expectation.
The Trap: Being consumed by the idea of marriage or relationship causing you to miss the opportunity of your singleness and devotion to the Lord.
You have the opportunity to fully devoting yourself to expanding the kingdom of God.
Be a Kingdom builder.
In March of 2020 we are going to Armenia to share our faith.
It is so much easier for you as a single person to go on a trip like this.
Take the opportunity.
Do it now.
Refocus on the Kingdom
The greatest achievement in life is not to be married but to focus on the Kingdom at hand in the time we have left.
1 Cor 7:29
Marriage doesn’t last forever.
Matt 22:
When we pass from this life or the Lord raptures us home, we will be brothers and sisters not husbands and wives.
Marriage is a temporary tool God has given us to fulfil the mission of building his kingdom.
We have a limited time to do the work of God.
2 Peter 3:11
The focus of your marriage should be building the kingdom of God together.
Every person should be fully devoted to Christ as we anticipate his coming.
The focus of singleness should be to build the kingdom of God.
God calls us into both singleness and marriage for the purpose of building His kingdom.
Next Steps:
Review
Review
Focus your undivided devotion toward God and the mission of building His kingdom.
Build your singleness of heart and devotion to God through prayer, study of God’s word and meditation with Him.
Behold the wonder and majesty of God in the quietness of your soul.
Trust that God knows what you need when you need it and avoid the trap of expectation.
Matt 19:12-
Celibate from birth
Castrated for service to men (House servants)
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