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*“Marriage – a Model of a Mystery”*
*Ephesians 5:22-33*
* *
Please turn in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5. We will be looking at verses 22-33 this morning.
For many of you who are married (and were perhaps looking ahead in the text), you might be thinking “This is the moment I was waiting for… This is where the pastor is going to tell my wife to submit to me”.
Or, “he is going to make sure my husband is loving me like he should”.
Now, I want you to resist the temptation this morning to think that this text is for your spouse.
Rather, I want you to focus on you.
If you are married, this text has something to communicate to you.
I don’t care who you are.
If you are a husband, I can assure you that you are not loving your wife to the best of your ability.
And, if you are a wife, you are not submitting to your husband “in everything”.
And if you are not married, I still want you to be dialed in.
For if you are looking for a spouse, you need to be aware of your responsibilities and also what you are to be looking for in another.
And even if you are progressing in your years, not looking for marriage, you can surely help others who are married or looking to get married.
Back to the married folk… You need to realize that you cannot change your spouse.
You cannot force them to submit to you or to love you.
The Holy Spirit is the One who convicts and empowers.
If you want to pray for conviction for your spouse, that’s fine.
But I also want you to pray for conviction for you.
The other thing you can do is change* you*.
That is your responsibility.
Whether or not your spouse is obedient to their responsibility, you are still required to obey.
Got it?
Elbows at your sides and not in the ribcage of your spouse.
Another important thing to note at the outset is that this text does not exist in a vacuum.
As Doug Lye reminded us last week, these headings, including chapters and verses, are not inspired by God.
They were inserted by men to help us.
So as we look at this section, we need to realize that it is closely attached to the previous section.
So much so in fact that the translators were unsure as to where to put the break.
Some have begun the section with verse 22 and others with verse 21.
I would suggest that the transition would indeed be verse 21.
I believe that all that is in this final section of the chapter stems from the command to be filled with the Spirit.
Doug Lye taught us that singing and thanksgiving and submitting were all evidences of the Spirit’s control in our lives.
And this next section gives us the specificity of the concept.
We are to submit to one another: wife to husband, children to parents, slaves to masters.
And this is all evidence of being filled, or controlled, by the Spirit.
I have entitled the sermon, “/Marriage – a Model for a Mystery/” because as the text indicates in verse 32, the roles and attitudes in marriage symbolize the relationship of Christ and the church.
So, the way I see it, marriage is the ultimate expression or communication of this relationship; and thus is to be taken seriously.
It provides a tremendous opportunity to glorify God.
We also need to understand also that this message is severely counter-cultural.
These concepts do not jive with our society.
We live in a culture of individualism, self-dependence, self-sufficiency, and of having our rights.
So “submission” is likened to a four letter word.
We don’t like to give up our “rights” or our “independence”.
We will be looking at the text in two points this morning: *Marriage Roles* and *Marriage Attitudes.*
And we’ll start with our roles in marriage.
Some people are not going to like this passage.
But I’ve got to tell you… it’s really liberating.
And you ask, how can a text on submission be liberating?
God created us and gave us His Word so that we wouldn’t have to fumble around and figure out how we are supposed to relate to each other.
He laid it out for us so that there should not be any confusion.
This is God-ordained.
Starting in verse 22 we read, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
There it is.
I said it.
I didn’t hear any cheers or “amens” on that one.
A little tough to take perhaps… And the men are remaining quiet because they know that there is more in this text.
And there really is no ambiguity here.
We can’t say “well that’s kind of a stretch in interpretation there.”
It just says it.
Wives are to submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
And here is where we are going to park for just a few moments because this concept needs some explanation and clarification.
“Submission” means to /voluntary yield/ in love.
It does *not* suggest that there is any value or de-value ascribed to the command.
I want to be extremely clear here.
Men and women were both created /fully /and /equally/ in the image of God.
Are you with me??
There are no deficiencies that necessitate the submission.
God loves all mankind equally.
Rather, submission has to do with /function/ in the marriage relationship.
We don’t have to guess.
God has ordained it.
Colossians 3 and Titus 2 say the same thing.
And the concept of submission shouldn’t be all that foreign to us.
We know that God has ordained leadership in the church.
And we are to submit to that leadership.
Hebrews 13:17 tells us to “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.
Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you”.
The text does not suggest that the leaders possess greater /value/ than the others.
Only that God has established church leadership to spiritually care for your souls.
It has to do with function in the church.
When we look into the trinity, we acknowledge that God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are co-equal.
And yet we know from the Scriptures that the Son submits to the will of the Father, and the Spirit the Son.
It has nothing to do with value.
It has everything to do with function.
And those of us who have placed our trust in Christ have “yielded” or “submitted” our will to His.
The Gospels liken it to denying ourselves and following Christ.
Likewise, when we marry biblically, the wives have indicated that they now submit to the leadership of their husband in everything.
That’s what verse 24 says.
You know, I looked at that and I said, “really?
In everything?”
So I looked at the Greek and consulted commentaries.
Do you know what it really means?
It means “in everything”.
All aspects of life with your husband.
And our text goes on to say that this submission is service rendered to the Lord.
Wives are in obedience to the Lord inasmuch as they are submitting to their husbands.
Dr. George Knight adds that Paul does not “mean by this to stifle the wife’s thinking and acting.
Rather, he wants that thinking and acting to be shared with her husband (as his is to be shared with her) and for her to be willing to submit to his leadership “in everything”.
The wife should not act unilaterally.
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