Listening was one of the hardest things I have learned how to do. Everything is fine, listening is easy, when what you are hearing is good. But let’s be honest, in a sinful world, can things really be good all the time? I would say no. With Uwem and I, the answer was no. Actually, over the years with all the fights we were having, the answer was no most of the time. And because I didn’t like what she had to say, I didn’t want to listen to her most of the time. I am sorry babe. For me, at the first evidence of a complaint or a problem that Uwem had with me (I know right, who could possibly have a problem with me?), my immediate response was to defend myself. Defend myself…I am the one that did something to her, why did I need to defend myself. I felt that I needed to protect myself from what she thought even if I caused that thought to occur. Uwem talks about the intimacy bridge. Its virtually impossible to cross this bridge if we constantly try to defend ourselves, protect ourselves from what other people think. There can only be a little connection as you are pushing away the people who are trying to connect with you.