Sunday March 17

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Family Focus - Raising your Human  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  1:37:07
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Good morning, Heartland church. So good to see you. Go ahead and stand to your feet are going to Worship the Lord this morning.

Parallels between us by the cross. You came and Broke Girls sweetie. I want to know the amount hard game mode. Your love is growing stronger.

Yeah, that's good.

The darkness Shake Ya. Coming back to the house. I'm back to the ocean saying in whatever you call me out of the Grave you call me into those you call my name and dumb.

I guess he's already getting so I can spank GIF spank.

And what are Lovely Bones cast?

What is stronger Dilaudid?

directions to walk in space

I guess so I guess so I can see.

Come up this morning. And then I welcome to Heartland church are aimed at doing an accomplishing here at Heartland Church through the Gathering the growing the giving in the going is a see hearts and homes awaken for the love of God and that were seen that happen. And so this morning is one part of the four parts that we call our mission to gather grow given go and we believe it as you do that you commit yourself to showing up that's his 90% of just being a Christian is showing up where God is and so I just commend you all for showing up here for those who are joining us by live welcome and we pray that in the in the music in the preaching of the word and the time of Fellowship that we have the you encounter God's love God's great love for you but also the good things that he has for you Bible says that to gather so that you can stir one another up to love and Good works. And so we're here to to bask in the love of God, but also to discover that awesome things that he has for our life. And so are we have a guest speaker today? I'll introduce him in a little bit but it's just a good day to be in the house of the Lord that we get to pray for one another and to believe for one another and so this is the time that we set aside as we enter into worship to make a request known to be prayed for and so is we sing these next few songs. I want invite you to come down if there is a if you're dealing with sickness the Bible says in James chapter 5 verse 13, if any among you are sick of the Elders of the church pray for the sick and anointing with oil in the prayer of faith will heal the sick another awesome promise that we have in scripture. And so we know they were getting closer and closer to the day of our total salvation total healing and that but why not today, so let's let's just let Faith rise during this time. If you do have a need it doesn't even have to be sickness. It can be any other issue that you happen to be dealing with you just need to share that burden. I'll be down here. I'll pray for you Anointed with oil and believe God to move on your behalf. Amen.

couldn't

You have been so so good.

I don't.

There's no shadow.

That again. There's no Shadow. You won't light up Mountain you won't climb, and then there's no okay. I don't mind synonym.

Thank you God.

Aren't you glad this morning that we serve a god? Through any measure go through anything to find us to redeem us to love us climb know why he won't tear down to get through to us this morning. Amen. Aren't you grateful that we serve that God that personal loving faithful consuming fire of God.

Mountain you won't climb up coming after me.

Your great love father.

Thank you for your spirit Lord in this place this morning.

Thank you. God Have Your Way father in this place Jesus?

I take care of my heart.

He is my celebrity sing that again.

Burger King

I never gonna get it. Never gonna that means

You're never gonna let Never Gonna that means I never got a lot never going to love me and you're never going to laugh. Never going to love me in time.

You're worried about a can of that while they're going to die.

Yo Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba

U-Haul, Watertown

DCPS

How much?

Thank you. God for no longer slaves to fear. We have nothing to fear Lord You have overcome. overcome the world

Just lift him up. Give him praise this morning and your own voice. Shout out to him Proclaim his goodness church is worth. He is good this morning. God We Praise You Lord we lift your name high above all other names. We pray Lord, you take the glory that you deserve this morning Jesus. All praise be to your name father God. Thank you for this church God for your people. Be magnified here today. Cheese's.

Were called to be followers of Jesus.

Followers of Jesus not just finders of Jesus. but I do hope that you may be found him today in the songs with your hearts awaken the his great love for you. Is power towards you who believe that you are being changed from glory to glory? The scripture says then what happens when you behold him. We allow our eyes to be fixed Upon Jesus upon what he's done, but I pray what is doing some awesome? Tear this morning, like he always does but we just need to recognize that we need to celebrate that. When we show up here we we show up to. Define what God's doing Lord, what is your will for my life for this day? And Finding Jesus is a part of it, but we're not supposed to just stay still and I'm supposed to stay in one place.

God's word says it without faith is impossible to please God. That's just because God's constantly moving and is constantly wanting you to be where he is and if you need peace in your life. I firmly believe that. Peace comes to those who seek for it and if you're one piece of show up where you're at. Maybe it's a habit that you've been stuck in. Maybe it's something that maybe it's a grudge. Maybe it's and maybe just and we all grapple with our fallen nature sin. working in our lives working in the world around us and do we need to find where the where God is in the move into that? And so I just wanted to throw this out there for you this morning is that their good works are things that God has destined you to do things that you're going to love when you discover them people that you're going to love when you discover them and I just want to and I believe that God that that is a key to change in our lives. This is finding where God is and moving to him finding him, but also following him or followers of Jesus not just finders of Jesus. And so we're going to pray that Lord the Lord would show us where he is today and give us the faith to move. And for those of you who've gotten out of your ID for Grace to you this morning and New York's continue to have faith in Courage as we as we grow in our walk in our trust in the Lord in our love for one another that we would find God here in our midst find Christ. So we're going to pray that the Jesus would be exalted in that we would he would continue to be cherished and and just celebrated here in our Med Spa. Thank you for the promise of your spirit. We thank you that you have given us more joy. then any any outcomes that this world could ever hope to be defined in the fruitless Pursuits of pleasure God I thank you that you have given us or the oil of gladness for the spirit of heaviness the Garment of Praise God for God first and Beauty for Ashes Lord, you have made it possible for us to move from the state that we were in God when we were dead in our sins you died for us Lord that we might live and I pray Lord that your name will be exalted here at Heartland Church got that your name would be exalted over this region over this community that your name will be exalted lower than you would be seen far above Lord all of the circumstances and all of that situation that we find ourselves in that make us feel that the death and destruction in the god the things that would steal our joy and leave us in patterns of depression and I got I just know that your God you're calling us out of those things and I pray father today Lord that people would move depression into the light into the very relationship that they were born to have God predestined them to have from the beginning of time that they when they find you or that they would follow you and follow you with their whole hog. God I pray that you give great courage to your people Lord to continue pursuing you God with whole hearts. Lord I pray that God that when we save God your Awakening Hearts God and we cry out to the Lord. Would you awaken hearts in this place God that we would see that happen God that we would see people got turning from Darkness to light God from sin to righteousness guy from dissension into pieces and father finding Lord that there are in a broad open place got a place of a plenty father that they need not covet. They need not worry be anxious for anything. But making the request now trust in a father who is faithful to give good gifts to his children.

God we pray that in the moments that follow in the brief time that we have together that you would awaken Hearts it away kit homes, because that's the reason that you positioned as I believe in this time is a church. Lord is to declare your praise to this next Generation did this generation go to the generation to come Lord. We know that until every tribe every tongue every nation has heard your name Lord. You will not return it. So God, we pray will be exalted here. And I pray that we would have a heart to see your name exalted among all nations.

But we know that's not going to happen until your name is exalted over a home since so I pray Lord that today God we would have a strong sense of calling string a strong sense of mission or to see your name exalted over all homes in the way. We love our wives and her husband's in the way that we we love our children and show up in their lives in the messes up their lives and continuing to to shower them with Grace and point them in the way of your word. Order for your blessing upon JP. Is he ministers your word this morning and God that you would make many glad it's we receive the good news today. We thank you for it. That's why we're here in Jesus precious name. Hitman, all right church will take a moment to transition to say hi to one another and so going to take out take up one set of lights, please. And if you need to use the restrooms, you should have laid in your new restrooms are across the hall. You can grab a cup of coffee you have maybe five minute break 3 minute break will see 3 minutes and we'll be back here shortly.

the whole the whole

Cleanup in aisle for cleanup in aisle 4

Spencer ma long line

Alright, alright. Alright, go ahead and grab a seat.

I don't want to point out if you are new here. Please take a moment to fill out one of these cards. We want to get to know you a little better. I felt like I was in a monster truck rally or something announcing Grave Digger.

A few things one is if you haven't filled one of these out, please do we want to get to know you a little bit better but on the backside if you have any prayer requests in this goes for just in general if any of you have prayer requests that you would like us to pray for in our prayer meetings or put it on the Facebook prayer Wall go ahead and fill one of these out and you can hand it in at the offering time or you can give it to one of our hosts at the information booth to the right at the information booth on your way out few things to talk about real quick. We have next week next Sunday immediately following service. We're going to be doing a children's Steam Workshop. So for those of you who are involved in children's ministry, we're going to be touching on some new things are going to be doing your the mission of our children's ministries that have a safe is to create a safe joy-filled environment where kids Hearts can awaken to the love of God. And so the two big things there is it our kids safe force of all. I have a sense of safety before they feel like they can actually like beloved but we want them to have a blast back there. And so we have some things are going to be introducing. I believe they're going to help us accomplish those two things. If you're looking to get involved in kids Ministries is also a good time to show up with ask you to fill out one of our ministry team involvement packets. Actually just a form if you have the app. You can fill it out there or you can grab it and involvement packet on the way out in our ladies have a book study going on what I hear they have open enrollment right now and probably until they're done with the book but basically like the book is great, but the company is better from what I understand. So they just want to get as many women here and see if you look back in the in the kids area does actually like the the table of of 18 back there goes in a square and so I have no idea what you ladies are up to but it better be something good cuz it looks like you're converging on something. But I know they're having a blast in the reported income in the times of prayer that you've been able to have with one another. I really like giving and so if you are looking for a way to get plugged in to spend some time with some of the ladies getting to know the great ladies we have here at Heartland. That's a great time to do that. And so that's Wednesdays from 6 until 6:30 until eight 6:30 until 8. So, it's a great time to get connected that is it for our announcement. When I go ahead and call her Usher's at 4 Sunday Morning Tide Kingdom Builder offering And I just want to thank this church for being a generous church and for showing up in the needs I do we have here and forget to be on division 2 because last year we were able to accomplish some really awesome things and we couldn't have done it without you seen the vision that God had for a church and it also looking ahead to this year and all the things that God has for us expanding the four-year being able to knock out this room and create a nice living room space to Fireside room. I were excited about that getting playscape out for a kid so that our kids won't be restless in the summer time and you have other things to do we have coming that but you guys are excited about you. And so we are we want to pray over the offering this morning three ways. You can give you can give online. You can give you this morning this way, but we also you can give to tightly at their website. You can download the type of the app. You can not text to give so if you look at the little offering envelope, you can actually you can see the number you can text to give there and it's super easy like you like me and forget your wallet or forget your wife is easy to figure it out and text it exit on in but we're so grateful to be a generous Church doing generous things in the Kingdom. Thank you for this time. We thank you for how you so generously blessed us and given us all things in Christ. And I pray Lord that you would got to take these gifts and multiply them out to your kingdom God for what you're doing here. Locally got how you're building this house guide for a place its life-giving helping people find find community and find their calling but also how you're enabling us to 2 to go beyond that lure to a place of growing ever growing in the grace and the capacity of the Is it you have for our lives. How we're seeing fruit being born our lives through the giving that's being done. But also got that we would take seriously this commission Lourdes it go into all nations preaching this Gospel of the Kingdom. I pray father that you bless this offering Lord here locally got to the ends of the Earth where all of our missionaries are and all that. We will be working with in the future guy. We just say let your kingdom come let your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven in Jesus name. Amen.

Okay, so it is with great joy and a Year's worth of anticipation since the last time that he was here actually urine some change talks about how we need be loving or wives better and all the practical ways. We can do that and I always hits the nail in the head. And so this year I actually had JP JP, you know what you talked about the mission of marriage and it said you wouldn't do to invest and the families and in showing husbands and wives in your parents how we can begin investing in our children the mission of parenting because it's something that I think you know, what is Melissa nice to see these little humans growing up before us we see how like increasingly on our heels we are and in just lacking the wisdom and lack it like really in a desperate stage did not screw this up because you have very few years. Did they really get it? Right? And so we want to make sure you make the most of these years and trust the Lord with a big stuff in their lives and but take the TASC the things that we know we You doing in our capacity in the grace of God has given us and so I did I challenge JP with that and at the last minute I just think you jp4 if that but I also want JP and the last few years and I was like, dude. Why don't you ever talk about Northpoint Bible College, Michigan right now Grand Rapids for amazing, but i j p r a hiding behind a green Machado latte or whatever. So Janice was in the first class of Northpoint Bible College coming up on ten years. Is that right? And so I'm going to have JP come up and talk briefly about Northpoint Bible college cuz I believe in the mission playing with their doing in the way that they're doing it that's really different than other Bible colleges and I just wish you all just welcomed JP in the house and bring him in. Am I doing? What am I doing? I'm coming up for the perfect. Good morning. I need to grab this stool. And I need to grab my bag cuz I brought a few things with me. They're not going to be here in this is our third time here. I was thinking it was second. You said it was 3rd. I very rarely get third date. So this is really really good news for like first day anybody can get that second day this cooking third day is like where was engaged at this point and I'm really really excited about that. I'm glad to be a guest here and I do want to say that it is a real privilege to be here with Pastor van and most of their really great pastors. The thing that I love about them is any time that I talk to them outside. I just can't get them to be quiet about what you all are doing and what's happening here and their vision and passion for this church and the community and it is rare to find that kind of leadership. That is that invested who's can't turn it off cuz it's in the heart and what's inside the heart comes out eventually doesn't it? It just comes out over and over again. And so it's a delight to be here for that. I will say That's awesome. I'm not quite sure why I'm here to talk about kids.

We have three kids. I think that's our qualification. I talked to my wife and I sent you this marriage thing. I feel like we've got it. You know what we're doing like pretty good at the marriage thing. And I'm our goal is just to survive the kids and and they still want you come and talk about raising kids and Pam and I said we got to come up with something better than what we're doing right now super fast so that I don't have to lie when I talk on that Sunday and so my wife and I we have a 10 year old or 10 year old a 14 year old and a 16 year old boy, they're all 100% boys and their names are Noah Owen and Williams. So if you spell that out and o w it's now the theory was that if we yelled now, they would all come that's never happened in the entire time of us being parents. Not not even once but they asked us to speak asked me to speak about parenting I say one thing about parenting is there are no experts. Right. I mean when I say well this person they have 12 kids there an expert. I don't call the person who is played football 12 * an expert. I don't call the person who is cooked 12 Meals and expert I don't call the human who is live for 12 days and expert. I don't think there's any such thing as an expert in parenting. I think there are people who look better under stress than others. That's really what it boils down to Ann. My wife and I certainly are no exception of that. If I'm going to be honest, we don't have a ton of an idea what we're doing. In fact I can tell you there were days we look at our kids were like whatever this battle is, whatever the prizes were losing and when I get in the prize, that's not going to happen to us. We have come by the way. I think I did figure out Pastor Ben. Move me from February to March. I think I figured out the reason my name is JP. My middle name is Patrick.

Song I'm the guys. I'm like, it's Saint Patrick's day after inviting Irish guy. I'm not Irish, but middle name is Patrick. My my wife and I in the neighborhood we used to live in we we had a family down the road who were in fact Irish, but I'm not bringing up just because the same Patrick's Day and our youngest son. Was good friends with them and I'm to tell you how badly were losing at this parenting thing. We thought well, you know, we try to get our kids to be somewhat reasonable. How many of you you're like, like people know we go to church that we we want to be known to be somewhat of a reasonable witness for Jesus Christ. So you look at your kids you just like so please like just nothing illegal. Nothing immoral don't steal things don't you know, just the big stuff please at least by the way, we're going to talk about today. It works the same way. If you're talkin about your grandkids you're talkin about anyone that you're trying to love. Well as they grow up we tell that to our kids wear these family down the street there from Ireland and and one of our children got went through this phase where he was mooning everybody. I know it just it was unfortunate and that didn't meet the qualifications of hey don't embarrass us, but he just couldn't seem to stop and that one day we walked out and he had the front door open Big D. Door and he's just going to the bathroom out on her front porch with a front of the whole neighborhood. This is that child and we're sitting down to eat and we get a call. We can't find out where our youngest son is and she calls me and the lady down the road the Irish lady who never in our whole history of our friendship has ever called me Pastor, which is totally fine. Don't care. This is the one and only time she ever called me Pastor. She called me and I'll come over there Pastor. I'm like, this is not going to be good. Just could you come and get your weed one? He's got his with a little cheaper is pressed up against our window by the dining room table while we're trying to eat dinner and he literally has his cheeks up against their window and he's going like this bare bottom right by their dining table while they're trying to eat. I told my wife I said, I don't know what else to do. We need to drug the children until they're 18 and then just take them out. So I don't know why I'm here teaching on this subject. Maybe. I don't know you haven't met our children.

I do have a lot of other kids in my life and that's a big kids at the Bible College and of Petra Meadows gracious enough to ask me to share about that for just a minute. I'm actually run on Northpoint Bible College in Grand Rapids, cool deal with a partnership with one of our great churches in Michigan Grand Rapids First and we meet on their on their campus two days a week full time program. The big goal is to help students were Ministry minded her passionate about Jesus. You want to go to either vocational Ministry or counseling or social work. We have a ba in Ministry leadership a master's degree. And then we do minor on minor in Psychology for those who are saying hey, how can we impact people the gospel 65% of people encounter Jesus first time Christ followers in their family do it during a life crisis. How many do you find Jesus during the life crisis? This is real but they don't all come to church some of them go see their counselor. How many things. Counselor should be a person who can walk them across to the got to Jesus Christ. So we're talking about training people intentionally to be at the bottom of the barrel. So when people like you and me get there that person can say we don't have to stay here. Let's talk about Jesus can change your lies and lead us the gospel. So we've been doing this now almost 10 years and because the partnership they're one of the big deals was we want to save students will graduate as close to that free as possible. So we have saved students over three million dollars in student. Over the last 10 years. That's for real, isn't it? So that money that gets to go back into the family's that's money to get to go to their homes with money used to go to missionaries to supporting the local church. That's money that gets to stay in the Kingdom economy rather than going to pay off student loans for the rest of our lives and I'm super cool. Tomorrow's are discovered a if you want to pray for us we have about 300 students that are going to be there tomorrow. So you're saying hey, what's God doing in my life and might Northpoint be the place for me. Some of them got to speak to him. That's awesome. But we just believe that God is going to show up tomorrow and the next generation is going to touch their hearts and leave them and guide them in any way we can serve you with that. That's fantastic. But you know, I'm not here just but I'm here cuz I love pastor Pastor Melissa. They're great great people. So why am I here talk about kids? Why am I here? I don't know. In all seriousness, my wife and I are we began having a course children. Our oldest is 16 and I know we have some that have young ones most and I were talking before hand that early stages is hard and I remember my wife and I my wife is one of these people that by the time she does anything she has a PHD in it. She if she's going to plan a garden she goes and buys a stack of gardening books this tall if she's going to have a child. She had read I think every childhood best seller there was before we had our first child and we decided we were going to get a plan together and we were going to be organized about this how many of you know, these people that like to have an eating routine down. There was sleeping routine down an education routine down whenever the kids are going to school then what they're going to do every year of their life. We are not those people We read all the books and all of the books were for those kind of people. How many of you like you're not those kind of people he was like look I kind of have an idea about two big things. I might want to get done this week. And you know, that's the way that roles am I where can I read all these books were like, there is no way we have the skills to pull off raising a child that way. There's no way we have the skills to be like, okay by the time they're six months older than have these kind of developments going to make sure they didn't we just didn't have the skills for that. It's a very quickly we figured out that if we were going to survive we were going to have to get simple very very quickly because we are simple people and we figured if there were a few things that we could do. Well, maybe those things would work for us. If we did the same simple things over and over and over again, and we did those things to the best of our ability. So we did what anybody who is trying to learn a new skill should do and that is we decide to find some mentors. a man I meant or someone who can help us do things better, and we looked around and we found three great mentors that I want to talk to you about today that hopefully will be helpful for all of us before we talk about that. Why don't we spend just a moment in prayer fast forward to speak to us and we'll see what the Lord does not hard with my father. You know, I first and foremost we have adults in here. Who as we talked about parenting immediately what jumps into our heart is pain because we're still bearing the wounds of things that didn't go well things that were hurtful to us and our relationship has children to our parents and I pray the Lord that today would be a day of healing that we recognize that as we talked about how parents should love their kids and how parents can love their kids that all of that is just really a metaphor. It's a sign on system that you create a remind us of your great love. So even as we speak about that, would you bring healing and would you bring Grace into our lives father for those of us that don't have children that are intermediate lies. We all have people that we influence let us learn something about the love language in vocabulary of the young ones were around so that we can be an effective part of showing you and your great grace to the Next Generation. And for those of us who who are raising one's right now whether they're older cuz we all still need your Lovin. Grace whether they're teenagers or whether we're just getting started off and they're just babies are a little ones father what you teach us the love effectively today in such a way that we can be a part of raising good people. We mean that in the Butte most real sense good people who know you love you love other people and want to be productive in this world for your kingdom and for the betterment of others. We asked if you'd help us do that Lord in Jesus name and everybody said so my wife and I are we got married and we had these this first child and we said we got a fifty-fifty shot of having good kids if they got my DNA they're going to be rotten and if they have on my wife's DNA, they're going to be pretty great. Let's get ourselves and mentors and so I want to talk to you about those three men tours today. Now the first Mentor that we found and that you can go ahead and pull up a slide as a guy named. Dr. Seuss. I am and he actually helped us more than you might imagine one because how many of you have that kid that they have the book that by the time they were three years old. You knew it inside outside backward forward upside down you could literally wake up in the middle of the night speaking that book in your arse for a third child as Goodnight Moon. I hate that book with a perfect hatred this one. I still managed to keep a love for was from earlier children. And dr. Seuss taught us this and I want to talk about this just a little bit to Define and celebrate the kind of success that matters for our cat's did a fine and celebrate the kind of success that matters for a kids story. Yes. How many do not know this story? Well, then I will give you the rundown and who robbed you of your childhood. Okay. So the story of dr. Seuss Horton Hatches. The Egg is basically this we open the story and we find a bird named AZ and Maisy, of course because those dr. Seuss is lazy Maisie and lazy Maisie has hatched an egg. Now. We do not know how she came about to have this fertilized egg that is left to our imagination. But she has a fertilized egg She lays it it is going to hatch but she has decided that she is not interested in sitting on an egg for the next number of months because that is not her vision of success for her life. She's a free spirit. She is a person who just wants to go and it was not a person. She's a bird she wants to go explore the world. She wants to see the world. And so she decides to cun Horton the Elephant in the sitting on her egg until it hatches and Along Comes Horton and Horton she tries to convince him to sit on the egg and he's like, I don't know. I mean, it's up in a tree is the tree going to be able to support me. It's am I too big to sit on the egg. He doesn't know what to do. But finally she convinces them manipulates and really because she believes that she will be happier doing the things that she wants to do more successful do anything. She wants to do she manipulates him into sitting on the egg and Horton has a statement that repealed that repeats during the story as repeating theme because he gets discouraged people come along and they start laughing at him. Why are you sitting in that tree sitting on an egg? He is sitting there in the rain and the Thunder and the storm and he's thinking what was me? Why am I sitting on this egg? There's repeating phrase that goes through his head and he says that he says I meant what I said, and I said what I meant an elephant's faithful, 100%

that was an important lesson for us. that what people determine success to be in the case of lazy Maisy success for her was getting to do whatever she wanted to do. In the case of Horton success for him with being faithful to doing something that was committed and hard for the benefit of others that that was actually very very important in our raising of our children. Culture will be happy to determine for our children. What success looks like what they have a multi-billion-dollar marketing machine that involves everything from music and TV and media. And again, I'm not saying those things are all necessarily bad. But remember that everybody who is talking to the next generation is telling a story about life and they're telling them a story about what matters in life. And so they may be watching one particular thing that tells them hey success whether that's power whether that's money whether that's influence is what will make them successful that they will have that kind of a narrative. Maybe culture will tell them in a person who has the loudest voice in the room. They are the one who gets to influence others. That is what makes them successful. The fact the chances are right now that the young people who are in our lives again, whether they're our grandchildren or our children are other young ones that we get the influence a fascinating questions to ask them. When do you feel like you are you will be successful as a person and most kids if you ask it have an answer to that question and most of the time it is a story that has been narrated to them by culture. That's the reason that most kids who grew up when I grew up wanting to be an astronaut because we grew up in the era of the celebration of what we have done is a country you talk to a lot of people who grow up in a culture where they see Sports celebrate. I want to be a sports star. I want to be a music. So we we gravitate toward what are story of success is this is a big challenge for us as followers of Jesus Christ because we have to ask ourselves. Well, how am I going to Define this for my kids? Am I going to Define it like lazy Maisie you getting to do whatever you want to do is what will make you successful as a human or am I going to Define it like working pay me figuring out how to do good things and right things in hard things that involve faithfulness and involve commitment that is what is going to make you successful over the long run. So here is what in again. We are I would my wife and my kids were here anytime. I talk about marriage. I always ask my wife when I said that was I a complete hypocrite and she usually does not complete and on when make when you talk about parenting you don't have to look at your kids and say you know, how are we being honest and accurate not about we don't get everything perfect. But about who we aspire to be are these generally our values and I would say these are things that we hear over and over again in our family. And that is that we define success in our family two ways. And if my kids were here they be able to tell you what that is if I look at my kids inside what is success for you today? And all them and say exactly the same thing success for me today. Is that every room I leave people feel more loved than when I answered it. Got a success for me today no matter whether I'm so stressed with school and matter whether I am the smartest person in the room. Not the smartest person in the room no matter whether I succeed or fail at a project or a sport or whatever it is. If the people who are around me feel more loved by the time I leave the room. I'm the most successful person there. The cool thing about that is that success that everybody can do so my children have the possibility of succeeding every day of their lives. Velvet possibility of succeeding whether there's a pizza delivery guy for the president. Because everybody can genuinely say I take this room on his my mission and every single person in here will feel more loved because I've been here every single person can do that and further lies. They know the rules lifetime, how can you be a success because the fact is we ask parents whether we know it or not. We're grandparents we and we'll talk about this in a moment sometimes without knowing it tell our children when we will be proud of them. Sometimes without even doing it on purpose and so my wife and I have tried to work hard to counter this by being intentional and we tell our kids That you will be successful and we do not care whether you deliver the pizza or whether you are the president of the United States. And by the way, that's a heart issue for Mom and Dad Durango through my value is not determined by the productivity of my children. right So I have to Wrangle to that but I have to be able to look at my kids and say honestly, I don't care whether you deliver the pizza or whether you're the president if you genuinely love Jesus with all your heart, you genuinely love people by the way, you should be practicing everyday cuz that's our day legal. And you generally find an occupation where you can make people's lives better as a sign of the goodness of God's Kingdom. We will be proud of you 100% We don't care whether you are have found yourself working at the pizza place. Great. You be the best pizza delivery guy. They ever met my family. We got a guy we got to give a pizza guy. We got a guy the reason for that is because my wife and I we live up in the woods and we live on a hill across from the township planner who was able to get in the design of our road, which would never pass code anywhere. It literally goes at an angle like this and turns at the same time. So during the winter we lose cars off the side of the cliff all winter long. We got a guy we got a pizza guy. He owns the four-by-four at the pizza delivery place is the only guy that will deliver to us. He is the best pizza guy and just look at my kids. They look if you're going to be a piece of guy be that guy be the one that has a hard job does a tough job. These are the meanest customers we got bees or whatever. We going to send your the guy cuz you're the happiest guy the hardest-working guy the most loving guy the most faithful guy you do that. On your life. We will Champion you we will post on our Facebook. So proud of our pizza delivering machine Sun. We literally our youngest on right now that is his goal in life. He wants to be the pizza guy and I think I was Ike's dad. Here's what I want to make pizza and I want to make it with high-quality ingredients at a low cost. Listen son. That is a great great goal and I will be your number one customer. That's fantastic. It's all right to want a better life for kids, but we have to be to be where that were not accidentally just giving them an idol that will let them down as we look at our kids were like why I want you to have it better than money than me. I might have more success than me. I want you have more influence than me. I want you to have more education than me. I want you to have a better job than me. The fact is none of those things will ultimately make our children successful. I love Andrew Carnegie's statement against the end of his life 5 marriage has more money than you could ever imagine and they said tell me what's it like to be a success because I have no idea. I failed at everything that truly matters in life.

Play some of the semester and were more successful than the richest person in this country. Is the people around us know that they're deeply loved their deeply cared for? They know that we care about them because Jesus first cared for us. We're Dependable were faithful. We got to make sure that we're not giving the wrong narrative about what success is. Jesus laid out what successes for us and Matthew chapter 22 It's interesting the Pharisees and Sadducees look at them and they thought they said tell us what's the most important thing to God actually pretty straightforward. Chapter verses 37 through 39 Jesus replied love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind. What does your cousin want to stop there? But then he says this is the first and the greatest commandment of the second is like it and by the way when he says like what he means is that it's actually the flip side of the same coin. It's not like I get my son to this is similar. It's actually shares in the same DNA and that is that we would love our neighbors that are as ourselves. That's why our family means loving other people in a way that they sense the love and the goodness of God for them if we do that were successful. Paul said something similar in 1st Corinthians 13, you know what he says we speak of the time of man's and angels and we prophesy if we have faith if we have we do Miracles, we know all kinds of signs and wonders you can be on the cover at every Christian magazine. You can be on the cover of the newspaper. You can be passed during the largest church. You can be having the most happening prayer life and people are coming to your house and I'll pray for me and Lord says, yeah, but actually if you know the little kids in your life in the poor in your life and those who are suffering in your life don't feel better because you're in their life. You're a failure. Like crazy that's pretty radical Jesus, isn't it? And this narrative creeps into our life because everything in the world tells us you are what you produce. What you what you add to other people in terms of physical Goods, if you give us an amazing amount of entertainment you have value if you have a lot of money you have value if you have a lot of influence value if you have a lot of gifts for a lot of town CI value in Jesus says all those things are great. I made all those things but none of them mean anything without love. . Simple, so it shows them to make the most common word we ever speak in our house love. Love and success always appear in sentences in our home.

I think that's important but it's important that we celebrate the right kinds of success if you think about culture where do we celebrate? We have the biggest celebrations we have them at the Super Bowl. So we celebrate people who have extraordinary gifts and bring it to your night entertainment to us. We have it on New Year's Eve, but where do we have we have downtown New York City, we celebrating the Hub of sort of capitalism and monetary power. We celebrate things like the Olympic. So then we have huge again talents and guess we celebrate the Oscars and the Grammys again sort of Mega talents. And doors are revealed to me that I was being a complete hypocrite you ever have one of those days. Because I was sitting at a conference and the speaker was talking about.

Reaffirming behaviors. So anyone who is with me whether it's at the school or in my home knows exactly what I'm telling you right now that the end of the day we're going to measure by law if that's what we're going to measure by everything else flows out of that and

I realized when they celebrate important phrase that I was being quite hypocritical. At the college we course we see students go out and get employed by me. It's a good thing going to get a job at some point. That's great. And what I realized is that as I was standing up on a repeated basis and I was wanting to give affirmation to our community. I would say things like that. We are so proud of XYZ person. They just got hired at blank. What did I just do I just told everybody what are Community value of success was go get a job at a good church so that we can look good. It's okay if I'm honest like that. And I'm sitting in this conference and the person says that people do not do what you tell them to do. They do what you publicly praised. Because they believe that is the genuine currency of the community it so all of my talk about love all of my lecturing about love all of my little formulas all of my stories don't mean anything if what I publicly praised is the narrative that culture is giving us that again, it's what you produce. So what does that mean for us? That means that as a household we have to make intentional decisions about who we celebrate. That's interesting. Think about that in your home who gets the Applause. The sports people get the Applause do actors get the Applause to musicians get the Applause. That's interesting because what we praise and what we applaud is what our children will automatically assume its success.

so we're on a journey to be less hypocritical and our house is good. I mean like I should be less of a hypocrite and we think I should be less of a hypocrite. Okay good. Should you be less significant? Of course, you should And so we're trying to figure out how do we celebrate people who follow our values that doesn't always even necessarily mean they're christ-followers off and they are but they are always getting ready to go to Washington DC and you know, we're going to be able to have a sacred time where we're at the Holocaust Museum and be able to talk about some people who understood that love can Thrive and even the most difficult and darkest of places. What's mangos people are narrative of success. Look at our friends to our missionaries. Looks like them are narrative of successful people like Pastor Bennett Melissa, we're serving this great community and looks like diamond make them are narrative of success so that our kids when they're thinking in the future. What does it look like for me to make Mom and Dad proud? What does it look like for me to be successful have some better stories in their minds? That makes sense. Doesn't it? Dr. Seuss How does what do we apply? What do we Orient our lives around our kids? Watch what makes us happy. When do we cheer the loudest?

That tells them what we've you a success. So if the loudest my house gets is when I watch sports. My kids will assume that that performance is the thing that pleases me most guess what my key. Guess who my kids want to please. So I had to reorient and say you know what first of all have to search my heart. Why is that the loudest time that I applied? And second of all I have to be intentional and say when someone does something that is like the things that will make me proud of my kids. I should be going bananas. It's all of a sudden when we have now that my kids have to be missionaries to please me by me know we should all be missionaries, right? So when a person who has that mission Spirit comes to my church and speaks. I'm looking at my kids going man. I can't believe we get to hear from them today. They are so awesome that person I love what they're doing. I get to tell their story because that puts on her at all. So that's our family's vision of success.

What's tell stories that actually matter to our families? Otherwise, like I said if all we ever celebrated people who produce things big things with amazing talent, we will end up with kids. You probably can't live up to that and feel like failures because they can't please what they know their parents value. They can deliver it. So Define and celebrate the kind of success that matters Mentor number to slightly more spiritual. I promise. Is this guy Charles Pellington? I would ask you how many have heard of Charles Pellington except. I'm afraid someone would say that they had and I would know you're lying because nobody knows who he is. I don't even know who he is and I tried to figure out who he is. Let me tell you the story prioritize wasting time. You said that we weren't supposed to waste time. Actually, I think wasting time is one of the most important things that we can do. our kids honor wife first and then Right wives first kids second. This but I hold him a hand and that is a scanned page of it. Can you see that on the right? Is a handwritten the entire thing 476 pages? And I'm a huge history buff. I love books at one time my life and I on a hundred and ten thousand books that is embarrassing to even say in public. We have three warehouses full of us. I say we it was me. I'm just trying to make myself feel better without a wine Warehouse. So we're doing really good. And I probably about 10 years ago. I was looking for a book and I came across this. And I opened it up and 476 pages of handwritten text and the thing that immediately struck me about this book is that it is a basically a copy of the works of John Bunyan How many pairs of John Bunyan Pilgrim's Progress? So this thing was done an 1850 handwritten 1850 by Charles Pellington. And the first question that went through my head was why on Earth would Charles Pellington write a copy of the works of John Bunyan now, this is not a I meant to be a challenging question besides the Bible there were two books that were the most regularly published in the 19 century. One of them was foxes book of Martyrs and the other was John Bunyan so literally Charles Pellington could have walked to any thrift store any second hand store anywhere in his town in the 19th century and probably pick one of 5 or 10 or 15 or 20 copies of the works of John Bunyan. Is he insane? I actually did the math. I worked it out 60 seconds to page 24 lines per page 24 minutes per page. 476 Pages 11700 minutes 196 hours. but he wasted on this but that he could have just gone down the road and bought a copy of for nothing I was intrigued. Why did he write the book? when I read the inscription

this copy of the works of John Bunyan

I've written expressly for my granddaughter, Charlotte Pellington Pond Street.

In the sincere hope that even though she is too young now. May one day read this text and through it feel my love. And more importantly sent his love. And derive some spiritual comfort by receiving into her heart that blessed gospel which leads to Everlasting happiness in the Heavenly kingdom do the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

80 years old The crazy thing is I started looking and I found another book that he hand wrote another book that you can buy right down the street. Why was Charles Powell doing this? pocd was he imprisoned that actually went through my head? I thought he's got to be a prisoner. No Trump, Arlington knew the value of wasting time. Give me the value of wasting time on people everything in our culture is kind of similar, isn't it? We got to get productivity up up up. How much can we get done? How much can we get this employee for how little can we get them for how much production can we get out of them? How much work can we get out of here? How much can we get done there Time guitar playing around playing that? I have a guy that I know who plans his day in 5 minute increments

If you do that, it's insane.

I can't play my life in 5 day increments.

He knew the value of wasting time. I love Ephesians chapter 5 chapter 1 verses 5 through 8 a it says in love. He predestined us for adoption to himself as Sons through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will to the praise of his grace. I love this. He says according to the riches of his grace that he lavished on us. Is it okay if I insert in there that he wasted on us the word lavish implies I gave you more than you needed. I wasted some on you. I gave you more than you deserve and so if we are Faithfully going to communicate to our children. They are loved by God. We have to love them in a way that is consistent with the love of God, which means we have to waste on them.

I like this phrase. What we are willing to waste time on tells us what we really value. And wasting time on a child prove to them that they are worth being valued.

What we are willing to waste our time on tells us what we really Value Inn. When we waste time on a person on a child. It proves to them and says to them you are worth being valued you are the best thing that I have chosen to let other things fall to the Wayside for you are the special II of your the special desire of my heart. Think about Mary washing Jesus feet. Of course, we know that story of we've been followers of Jesus at all. Mary comes and she washes Jesus feet in our pastors. Love to do the math was fifty-four thousand billion dollars worth. I don't know how

But the fact is that was wasteful. If she had not if he had not been the object of her love it would have been a waste. Or how about Jesus himself? Coming for us. The factors is Orthodox Christian theology says that God is just as happy is that he is happy self contain his Joy within the Trinity all in and of himself. He doesn't need us. And yet he decided to waste himself for us. To just pour himself out as a drink offering. To say I'm going to spill myself on the ground for you. It's beautiful.

None of us can waste time with everyone but we should waste our time on our kids. The ones that look like for us everyone in here, I bet if we went around the room would say I'm busy. Sway that works. We're in that world. Brush that looks like well first off I waste time every Friday night with my wife. So I don't waste Fridays with my kids always Friday's my wife. What's Saturday's with my kids and offer us against this what's worked for us? Everybody finds a different Rhythm the first Saturday of every month each one of my kids gets that day just with me. And we going we do whatever they want. I've gone to Magic conventions. Not not bad magic prestidigitation conventions. I have gone to music stores long long ways away to look at guitars that we couldn't afford. I have done whatever it is they wanted to do cuz that is their day to waste with Dad make it to waste it. They said what do you want to do? That's the one day one day of the month that I don't like the one day every 3 months and then say what do you need to get done today today? I'll look at them and say your day wasted. However you want. What are you going to I'm going to waste it with you. Don't say that on purpose because I want them to know they're worth having that kind of investment. Mentor number three and I'll wrap up here quickly. for me Was the Apostle John? You can't see it. It says the Gospel of John.

And John Thomas to prioritize relationship with and encountering Jesus for kids.

I won't give too much background because it would take more time than we have this morning. But the Gospel of John is interesting in the opening chapter. John said something very interesting some of your translations will read that the darkness did not overcome the light the better translation. There is actually one that you would have enough some of the other translations, which is the darkness did not comprehend the light in chapter 1 and it's really a theme throughout the Gospel of John that the world that we live in is dark and sometimes it is hard to understand who got is in the world. We live in how many of us will be honest and say we've gone through something hard. It was easy to look and say God, I don't understand where you're at in this. Or we read the newspaper and we see something like what happened in New Zealand received our four and we go I don't know sometimes it's hard to understand and say God you are good all the time when it looks like all of these situations don't seem good. How many it's okay if you think that And John knew that he knew that actually your feelings and your experiences are actually more transformative for you than fax. The fact is is a fact we're all that mattered. Nobody would ever smoke. If facts were all that mattered, nobody would ever eat cheesecake and wouldn't that be a crying shame? If that's where all that mattered nobody would ever waste on anybody and love anybody feelings and experiences actually matter more. And so we made an intentional decision because here's the deal living in this time between the reputation of the church sometimes.

Because sometimes we have failure, sometimes we have difficulty. We have challenged between the fact that knowledge factual information is doubling every 12 months is Miley Pastor likes to say if you haven't learned anything this year you're twice as dumb as you were last year.

He says it all the time and I'm like, I just like I'm getting Dumber by the minute. It's awful. Between the fact that political leaders sometimes can be a challenge to trust all of that is making it so that we have a generation that is being raised. Now that it's ain't we do not know who to trust and how to make decisions because there's so much information. It's so beautifully Bruce. I was in a fairly good-sized Community not too long ago. Lots of young college-age students and high school students. And how many of you would meth or will say that it is very challenging you for for you to make a decision about politics and I history about philosophy about religion because the fact is there's so many smart people with beautifully produced content for the challenging for you to know who to trust every single one of them without hesitation razor raise their hands.

And here's the deal if we think we're going to convince this generation with facts to be followers of Jesus Christ were going to fail. It's just not that time anymore now is the time when there's so much information that you and I no matter how beautifully produced we're just another voice of a billion voices that are continually putting out content. We're in an age of information production. We will not win that battle. Think I have a quote up on the screen. This generation of students are young people will not be argued into believing debated into believing or anyway, intellectually are rationally convinced to believe they will need to have a supernatural miraculous experience that compels them to believe and that no amount of intellectual doubt can wipe away. And so we automatically decided from the beginning. Yes. We're going to read the Bible with our children. Yes, we're going to talk to our children about God's but the end of the day the most important thing for that for us with them was to encourage them in our times of prayer to experience God and feel God and know that God can be genuinely present with them, but he wasn't up there but he's down there and so what we do is any time. Does anything Supernatural in our family my kids get probably sick of it, but I tell the story over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Because I want some of that moment. They're going to have Mother's really go do I believe what I believe because my parents Believe it or because I believe it totally normal thing for a student to go through totally normal and I want them to be look back and be able to recount the stories of God's faithfulness to our family all the time. God. God did what nobody else could do of the Miracles that they participated in the times that we prayed together and we didn't just pray a closing prayer, but they felt God give them peace. They felt God draw close to them and draw near to them. It's what's a shift in emphasis from getting my kids to memorize Bible verses make sure they're at every event to making sure my kids are having opportunity to experience the presents and the power of God. In our home life in normal life and in everyday life is very very quickly. Tell you one story or wrap up. Because this is John's whole deal. Remember I said at the beginning. He says the darkness hasn't comprehended. It wasn't able to understand. Jesus knew he was go back and read the Gospel of John. In chapter one, we have Nathaniel who says who was freaking out because he doesn't understand who Jesus is. The reason he comes to believe him is because he has miraculous Encounter With Jesus because Jesus as I saw you when you were looking at me, I'm just kind of creepy but Jesus sees them underneath the tree and reads his mail and gives him a supernatural encounter with himself in Chapter 2 of The Gospel of John and chapter 3 run ended Nicodemus who knows all about God but it's having a hard time believing the gospel until he has a supernatural encounter with a Christ. And by the way, he doesn't even get to that conversation without the supernatural because he says no one can do the signs that you did without being sent from god. So let's talk and chapter 4, we have the woman at the well go back and read this story. She wants to talk all about God and Jesus look cut the garbage and let's experience the person of Christ and we have the lame man who has been healed by Jesus. He goes to the temple and they say who he is. Give me like that's a great question. I have no idea. I better go find out so he has a miraculous experience that leaves him to inquire about God not the other way around we can follow this all the way through out the Gospel of John. We have Mary and Martha questions about the goodness of God the resurrection of Lazarus until they see Lazarus raised from the dead and they know they use the resurrection and the life. We see this with Thomas with intellectual questions about the goodness of God and the kingdom and Jesus says, that's fine. I'll give you a supernatural encounter with the resurrected Christ and that'll change everything for you.

Not too long ago. I was in a church. and I might have for some reason we see more miracles happen when we talked about family and marriage issues. Then we do when we talk about anything else that weird. And I showed up at a church to speak and this it actually happened to me at the previous church as well. It was really interesting and I got to speak and I told the story about a church. I was in a rush speaking on marriage. And there was a couple that it come to that church that come to the town for a weekend to save their marriage. So they've come to that town a long weekend say this is if we can get together this weekend like that.

And of course did not know that I got up before I was getting ready to speak and I said, you know, I don't mean to sound like super spiritual or whatever and back to the Lord speak to me. It's as proof or I can speak to anybody cuz I'm like squirrel squirrel. That's that's me so I can speak to me and speak to anybody who has no proof of my spirituality. And I know there's somebody here and I said I've never said this before but this weekend is make-or-break for you. Like if you don't don't get your marriage fix this weekend, it's over.

Keep on preaching. I see this couple up at the front and you know, they're doing the full ugly cry, you know what I mean? Right they got they got to have liquid coming out of every possible orifice on your face and had that could be coming out of his nothing no dignity left of the human whatsoever and other they're crying and so they just have a powerful encounter Lord's awesome. So I go to this other church that I'm talking about. I share that story get ready to preach on marriage. I'm talking about marriage and I get done speaking and I look over the front and there's this couple up at the front of the pastor and they look exactly the same.

And I'll never forget this. Because it really helped underscore this idea for me with my own kids that I need my kids. I want my kids to know the Bible. I want my kids to know the logical truth all that kind of stuff, but we know from research the number one defining indicator like Pop level of whether kids will continue to follow Jesus after they leave the home is not whether they went to Sunday school is not where they went to church consistently. It's whether they have a moment they can point back to where they had a supernatural encounter with God that they can't deny. That's the number one indicator. Not that we should do all the indicators, but that's the number one. And I went up and started talking to him and I looked at him and I said I said what's going on?

I don't even believe in God.

I said you don't because I don't

Toys R Us

Melanie theist pendant church when he was a little kid and an atheist four years. I looked at his wife I said, what about you she was not for wedding after funeral for nothing. What about you? Do you believe in God?

She marvelously gave her life to Jesus that day. Like I'm going to be back at that church was almost a year ago. It was her first service in that church. She's still in that church baptize going on a missions trip loving Jesus and he still wrestling but you know, what the cool thing is, he can't quit wrestling. You know, why? Cuz he had an experience. Hear arguments before he had to bathe before you had conversations before you read articles before I read blogs before I got yelled at by people before.

We need to ensure that we are played in potential experience moments for our kids and our grandkids were they can experience the presence of God. So we need to make sure we define success for them. We need to make sure we're wasting time on them. And we need to make room for the supernatural experiences in Supernatural relationship in their life for my wife and I are disorganized why we don't fly by the seat of our pants were not like that, but we're not for big moving piece people that's worked for us. It's getting there. My sixteen-year-old were here. I'd probably standing up in front of you and say this is my son in whom I am. Well pleased. He's not perfect but he's carrying these kind of growing his relationship with the Lord my youngest one will see what happens. He still mooning people were still working through that. We can pray for him pray with you in and impastor been only have me will have some clothes and things you like to do now that I know.

We're really just talking about ways that we love people. Well, really the stuff they were talking about today. They could be applied to that co-worker that you've laid on her heart. We can't waste time on everybody but maybe for those of us here who we don't have.

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