Colossians 3:18-19

What the snake was doing in the Garden of eden was deconstructing Adam and Eve’s world view and understanding of who God is and who they are, “Did God really. And they tried to redefine what it is to be human on our own terms: where we, of course, are Gods.

It’s not really wrong. It’s just different...

What we believe: We believe that those living in the Kingdom of God should live under the rule of God.

The Bible teaches, that marriage in the kingdom of God, is between one man and one woman.

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The fact that the patriarchs and kings of Israel, disobeyed God’s plan for marriage does not negate God’s design for human flourishing.

We were never meant to look to the men and women of the bible as examples of how we should live our lives.

We were given these examples in the Bible to show us that even the best humanity has to offer has been affected by sin and brokeness

the flawed men and women of the bible point us to Jesus

Where human relationships fail our expectations, Jesus satisfies

Where people prove themselves to be unfaithful, Jesus is faithful and true

Where humanity has strayed from God’s plan and purposes, Jesus provides a way back.

The fact that the culture around us disagrees with and operates under a different definition of marriage is nothing new.

What is marriage?

This is a question our culture is asking… and answering!

We are in the midst of a sexual revolution. Culturally in our country in our community, in our city.

This is a question our culture is asking… and answering!

In the span of less than a decade, public opinion regarding sex and marriage has changed more drastically than it has in the last century.

Example: In 2008, President Obama, then Presidential Candidate Obama, held to a traditional view of marriage. Meaning, he did not believe same sex marriages should be legal. That’s right. 2008 President Obama, would be considered unelectable by the democratic party. That was only 11 years ago!!!

Our culture has sought to redefine sex and marriage in a way that our own desires

Our culture’s idea of sex and marriage has rejected the idea of a creator God, rejected the idea that there is a plan and a purpose behind human sexuality and relationships, and looks to itself as the final authority.

In the public school curriculum for heath and sex education the over-arching authority that is being taught is consent.

The activists in our culture’s sexual revolution argue that the ultimate authority regarding sexual relationships (inside and outside of marriage) is consent.

That same ideology (where consent is king) is what is defining relationships, marriage and family in our culture.

Everything goes as long as everyone consents.

In the midst of cultural ideological shifts, God’s word remains the same.

Here in , Paul briefly addresses Christian Marriage and what Christian households should look like in the context of a radically opposed culture that surrounds them

This is not a passage addressed to unbelievers telling them they should repent and clean up their act

Look at the heading (if you bible or app has headings)

My says “Rules for Christian Households”

in the same way this sermon is not directed to unbelievers, but to professing believers instructing you on how your household should operate now that you have this new self

Not that the Bible does speak to all that culture is throwing at us in the present moment in the cultural revolution, but today’s passage is primarily speaking to Christian households, we too will try to stay in the

Summarize Colossians backstory

This isn’t anything new.

The Christian view of marriage and family has always been counter-cultural and has always pushed back to

What is the purpose of marriage?

To display the glory of God in human relationships

Let’s look to the passage for today’s message

You can have similar tools perform vastly different purposes. And their purpose defines how you use them. Ex. Hammers

Colossians 3:18–19 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

(Pray)

Before we jump into the text and how this affects our lives, our marriages and our homes, I want to quickly remind you of . Remember last week I said this is the banner verse that hangs over everything Paul is writing from this point forward. We would do well to keep this in mind as we read everything that follows it.

Colossians 3:11 ESV

11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Christ is all, and in all.

This idea doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere here in chapter 3. It really is in all of Colossians: Christ is all, and in all.

In your marriage: Christ is all, and in all.

This doesn’t completely diminish your previous identity and personhood, but it serves as a banner flies over and above who you were previous.

Paul - Roman

So...

What is the purpose of marriage?

Why does marriage even exist?

In traditional ministers handbooks there’s usually some phrasing like this: “God intended marriage to be for your mutual joy, for the help and comfort of one another in prosperity and adversity, and, as God sees fit, the raising of children in the wisdom of God according to his word.”

God intended marriage to be for your mutual joy, for the help and comfort of one another in prosperity and adversity, and, as God sees fit, the raising of children in the wisdom of God according to his word.

Colossians 1:16 ESV

16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.

All things… even marriage! were created through him and for him.

This is a question our culture is asking… and answering!

To display the glory of God in human relationships

Marriage pre-exists the fall of Adam and Eve

Genesis 2:24–25 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:

How does marriage display the Glory of God?

2 people become 1 new creation (one new family

New life through the gospel as described in

That family of origin is shed and you get to make a new family!!!

2 different, diverse, broken people can be reconciled

Not just reconciled, but reconciled to the most intimate of relationships, becoming 1!!!

Men and women are very different

not just biologically

mentally, hormonally, emotionally

A Holy God and sinful man are seemingly incompatible

even before the fall, God was telling a gospel narrative

Marriage is a sanctifying process

Your wedding day is not the end of they story

Happily ever after doesn’t start when at the alter.

There’s an already, not yet aspect of the gospel

We are already saved, we are not yet completely holy/perfect.

It’s the same way in marriage, your already married, you’re already one, you’re still working on how to relate as 1 flesh in this new family.

This is what these 2 verses speak to: how to live as a husband/wife in this new Kingdom of God

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18–19 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:19-19

God gives different instructions to men and women because Men and Women have different roles in the Household.

Colossians 3:18-19

Hammer picture

As a church, we are committed to teaching and leading from a complimentarian view of men and women.

We believe that women and men are equal in value and worth, in gifting and in ability and even in competency in all areas. We also believe God has a plan and design for the home and the church to be led by qualified men.

Now this is a sermon on Christian Households so I’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about how this plays out at Cistern Church, but I will say the following:

We believe the commands for male leadership/eldership only apply to the areas of life scripture prescribes: Home & Church

Outside of the home and church, we enthusiastically support women to lead in corporations, in politics, and in all areas of society

Women can serve in all areas of leadership at Cistern Church except that of Elder/Pastor.

We would be completely lost & helpless if it were not for the contributions of time, talent and ability made to our church by women.

We are Complimentarian not CompliMANtarian

We do realize many have abused and twisted this doctrine to hold abuse or silence women, promoting patriarchal structures in all areas of life or even hierarchical

I’m sorry

If you would like more info, or to sit down and talk about how our Complimentarian

We hold to this view because its biblical, and it challenges all of us, men and women to live up to, or grow into God’s purposes for us

These two verses in tell us how were to function as husbands and wives in the home, to be most effective in our purpose.

Hammers (show picture of different hammers)

explain why they have different purposes.

These two verses in tell us how were to function as husbands and wives in the home, to be most effective in our purpose.

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Again, these are instructions for believers

This is not a command to be a Stepford wife, to blindly follow whatever the man says. Notice there is a qualifier.

This is not a command to be a Stepford wife, to blindly follow whatever the husband says. It does not mean you are not equal.

It is an invitation to remember and consider your husband in all areas of life.

This doesn’t mean you don’t ha

I read an article about this particular verse this week entitled:

Christian women don’t always submit. by Abigail Dodds

Written by a woman: The premise was this. “as women we submit far to easily to blogs, friends, advertisements, and friends”

The call for scripture has for us in this verses is to listen for your husband’s voice and consider Him among and above all these other voices striving for your attention and obedience.

Submission is also Christlike - Jesus in the Garden

It’s through Jesus’ humble submission to the will of the Father that the name of Jesus has come to be regarded the name above all names.

Through your humble submission, love and respect the Your name

There’s a qualifier, there’s an out “As is fitting in the Lord”

“As is fitting in the Lord”

what does that mean? I believe this can mean 2 things

1. As your Husband is fitting into God’s command for his role

This give you an out. As vs. 19 will show, Your husband is commanded to love you! To not be harsh with you

If you are being hurt, abused or mistreated in anyway you do not have to submit to that man’s authority

If you are in that situation, I would actually advocate for and advise you to get out. 1st and foremost get safe.

Only after you’re safe and He is sober minded, only then can and should you think about reconciliation.

2. Don’t follow your husband in to sin

Colossians 3:19 ESV

19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

A day should not go by where your wife is not made aware of your love for her

Love your wife

LOOK AT ME - Your wife has 1 chance, 1 Shot, 1 opportunity in this life for living out a romantic love story, and it’s you...

arriving home - Get ready to walk in the door

pursue her - fight for her attention, not in a weird agressive, controlling way, but in the same way you did to get her attention when you were couring her.

In Paul is more explicit in his command to husband, charging them to love the wives as Christ has loved the church, and gave himself up for her.

Men, you’re to love your wive sacrificially. What have you given up for her lately?

happy hour, guys night, late work nights, promotions,

DO NOT BE HARSH WITH THEM!!!!

We both get to play the role of Jeses

Marriage isn’t about you

Christ is all, and in All

Why are we called to give up so much for our husbands and wives?

because as husband and wife you are no longer two individuals trying to make a name for yourselves in this world, you are one flesh.

You are both called to play the role of Jesus in your marriage

Jesus was humble and obedient to the father

wives your called to sumbit

Jesus loved and served the disciples (the church) and gave his life for them

husbands, you’re called to do the same.

You get to do the same for each other

You’re called to display the love of Jesus to a watching world through your marriage!!!

This is the world’s view of marriage:

Two individuals who really like each other, maybe even love

The truth is, in a Christian marriage, both the husband and the wife, get to play the role of Jesus. You’re both called to serve each other in distinct roles and in distinct ways so that Husbands as a men feel respected and Wives feel loved and cared for. You’re called to serve each other in such a way that you both get what your soul longs for out of this relationship. And to show a watching world what covenantal sacrificial love looks like.

You have similar interests and life goals, you’re compatible in the sack tolerate living with them

You decided to make the best of it, and take the next logical step and get married

When you’re no longer walking the same path or have the same life goals, then it’s ok to separate and find someone else to walk with for a while.

Where do you get the power to do this? Where do you get the power to constantly be serving the other person? Where do you get the resolve to see someone at their very worst and to act in love and forgiveness toward them time and time again? Where can you go? What can you look to when marriage gets tough and when the hard times come?

to many people what I just described is beautiful.

Here’s the picture the bible paints of marriage:

We look, again, to Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith and our lives. The truth is marriage and the way you love each other, is a microcosm of God’s love and faithfulness toward us. When Jesus was hanging and dying on the cross. He looked down. He saw us. He saw humanity. We were blaspheming and betraying Him. Abandoning him… and in the greatest act of love this world has ever seen… he stayed.

Two broken yet redeemed individuals discover they like each other

After getting to know each other and with the blessing of God’s people, the church, they get decided.

They make a covenant before God that they willingly give up their rights as individuals to become one flesh. They promise for better/worse they are 1.

CLOSE: Keller’s description of Jesus on the cross: He stayed.

Jesus didn’t love us because we were lovely, he loved us to make us lovely.

They stand before each other naked, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, and you’re not ashamed because you have the promise, the covenant made before God and his People that you’ll be loved.

They see each other at their worst, they experience sickness, they sacrificially hold to their word submitting and serving one another

because of their love for each other and their faithfulness, their lives are shaped in ways they could never have dream or imagined and become something far better than they ever hoped they would be.