The Framework of the Family
The Home • Sermon • Submitted
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· 6 viewsThe purpose of this message is to shore up the framework of the family as God has directed it through the structure of a man and a woman being united in marriage and having a family.
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Giving Thanks for the Structure of the Family
Giving Thanks for the Structure of the Family
Let’s begin this morning by giving thanks to God for the structure of the family.
Prayer
Father God in Heaven, thank you for creating us in your image. Thank you for creating us as men and women, created for the purpose of having a Relationship with you; dominion over all the earth; for uniting us as one in Christ Jesus. Thank you for establishing the union of husbands and wives, who become one flesh in marriage. Thank you for children and their part in the creating of families. We are so blessed to be your sons and daughter, to have you as our Father, and to be redeemed through your Son Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray… Our Father...
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
for we are members of his body.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church,
which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
Ephesians
1 Corinthians 11:3
And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church,
God placed Jesus as the head of the church. He has given a similar structure to the home, with the husband being the head of his wife, loving her as Jesus loves the church.
Paul address the role of the wife and the husband, using the example of Jesus and the church to help us see their functionality.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Warren Wiersbe in his commentary on this chapter approaches Pauls writing from the point of harmony in the home, on the job, and in the church. They all depend on the Spirit of God.
He states: It’s a power from within, not pressure from without, that hold the church and the home together.
Earlier in Paul writes
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
He uses the principle of Headship within the home to help us understand the harmony God wants to bring to the home and to the church.
So as we look at
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,
Emphases is given to being filled with the Holy Spirit, which comes from God, by faith in Jesus Christ. It is a continuous filling. The outlet of being filled with the Holy Spirit is Thankfulness.
Back to our text… This passage of scripture has not always been well received because it gives a structure that some say, negates the value of a woman. But that is not what Paul is saying. He is saying that there is a ‘framework’ to the family and when it functions as it should, there will be harmony.
The wife...
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
The word ‘submit’ means to yield to the authority over them.
Wives are to submit to their husbands—honouring them and putting them first. This is something many Jewish, Greek and Roman wives were forced to do. For many women, being a wife was no different from being a slave. But Paul is describing something far more wonderful.
A Christian wife is not submitting to her husband because he owns her, or because she is afraid of him. She is submitting to her husband because he is the head of their relationship, who is responsible for her spiritual, emotional, and physical well being
The husband is the head of a marriage just as Christ is the head of the church.
Knowles, A. (2001). The Bible guide (1st Augsburg books ed., p. 620). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg.
In Roman culture, the family was ruled over like an iron fist.
In Jewish culture, the family life was for training sons, but excluded their young children and neglected the women.
Jesus honored women and welcomed children and
When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table.
A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume.
As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said.
“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.
Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.
You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet.
You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.
Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
Paul is saying, “Husbands, you are responsible for the spiritual well-being of your wife, her security, and happiness.”
Paul is saying to the wife, “this you should know and submit to him. If he is following the Lord, then he will have the wisdom to lead you and your family.
Some might ask, “What if my husband is not a follower of Christ?” Here is what Paul writes in says.
You might ask, “What if my husband is not a follower of Christ?” Here is what Paul writes in says.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
In
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
What Jesus desires is for husband and wife to live harmoniously together; in mutual love and respect.
Another aspect of submission is to look to him in regard to decisions. This is the message to both husbands and wives… even though there is one who is the head … responsible for the spiritual well being of the family, together, they are to talk about things that matter and will affect the home.
Example would be, you can both be working… her money…his money. you can divide up responsibilities, she buys the groceries and clothes for the family; he pays the bills and sets aside an emergency fund. whatever each has left over they can do with what they please. One can be frugal, one can be spontaneous. the one who is frugal will always have money, the one who is spontaneous, will not and they will always have too many toys and looking for money to take care of their part of the arrangement.
The key is working together, talking about the needs and desires, helping each other discover their strengths and weakness, and coming to the conclusion that sometime your spouse has a better perspective than you and they have insight and or wisdom that you do not.
Ultimately, the husband is responsible, but he should not be given free reign to do as he please, nor should he make his wife do what is spiritually unhealthy.
To submit is to yield to the person who is responsible in everything… “all that is important; to the final decision.
Now when i say the ‘final’ decision, one should not submit to anything that will be contrary to God’s well and desire. Meaning, don’t allow yourself to be abused, ruled over with an iron fist that says you are going to do it my way or else!
When the Bible says that the husband is to be the head of the home, and that the wife is to be in submission to her husband, it does not give the man a licence to tyranny. It does not mean that the man is never to consult with his wife or to lean upon her wisdom and take seriously her concerns and her judgment.
Sproul, R. C. (1994). The Purpose of God: Ephesians (p. 135). Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.
The Husband...
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
One person described this responsibility as “terrifying.” Why? because it means being willing to die for her because he loves her that much.
Would a woman be afraid to submit herself to a man who loved her as much as Jesus loved the church? Would a woman fight and kick and scream against the leadership of a man who was willing to give his lifeblood to do anything he could to save her life? The kind of rule that the husband is to have over his wife is to be modelled on the leadership of Jesus.
Sproul, R. C. (1994). The Purpose of God: Ephesians (pp. 136–137). Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.
Husbands you have the responsibility before God to conduct yourself according to the Word of God in marriage.
In marriage, a person takes the vow to “cherish” the other person. This means to hold them in the highest regard and to place great value on one another. This is the attitude that is to permeate the home. Not a power struggle or a see-saw battle for more authority than the other.
Man has a strong instinct of self-preservation. He is to love his wife as he loves himself. It is an agape love which means total unselfishness for the well being of the other.
R.C. Sproul writes:
Probably the most fragile mechanism in the whole creation is the male ego. One of the most difficult things to admit or to understand is that there is probably nothing that a man wants more from his wife than her admiration. There is probably nothing that a woman wants more from her husband than his attention, taking her seriously and treating her with the greatest dignity. Here what we are getting at is the question of respect. If I exercise my headship over my wife in a tyrannical way, I am not respecting my wife. If my wife gives slavish obedience to me without any love, she is not respecting me. The whole basis of the relationship is built upon love, cherishing and respecting one another.
Sproul, R. C. (1994). The Purpose of God: Ephesians (p. 139). Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Eleven: Heaven in Your Home (Ephesians 5:18–33)
If the husband makes Christ’s love for the church the pattern for loving his wife, then he will love her sacrificially (Eph. 5:25). Christ gave Himself for the church; so the husband, in love, gives himself for his wife. Jacob so loved Rachel that he sacrificially worked fourteen years to win her. True Christian love “seeketh not her own” (1 Cor. 13:5)—it is not selfish. If a husband is submitted to Christ and filled with the Spirit, his sacrificial love will willingly pay a price that she might be able to serve Christ in the home and glorify Him.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Eleven: Heaven in Your Home (Ephesians 5:18–33)
Our Christian homes are to be pictures of Christ’s relationship to His church. Each believer is a member of Christ’s body, and each believer is to help nourish the body in love (Eph. 4:16). We are one with Christ. The church is His body and His bride, and the Christian home is a divinely ordained illustration of this relationship. This certainly makes marriage a serious matter.
Conclusion
One person in a marriage responsibility is not superior to the other. However, one does have more of a responsibility. Husbands… we did not go into every detail in terms of sanctification… sermon for another time. However, you have a responsibility to lead your family well and to love your wife; include her in the decision making process; hold her in high regard and value her input
wives, you are called upon to respect your husband and to help him make the most godly decision possible. He is not to be a tyrant over you, nor are you to let him.
Together, you will stand before God and have to answer how you loved, respected, valued, and treated one another.
Do so with a heart that is wanting the best for one another; do so with ways that you can show your love to one another by doing things together as well as for one another. do not let selfishness or vain conceit rule your thoughts. Let the mind of Christ consume you and be willing to be everything you were ment to be in Christ and in all things!