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Today, I am going to talk about unity or ONENESS in marriage.

Let’s  begin by turning to Genesis 1:27.

I will be presenting topics on:

-God’s Purpose for marriage

-Our enemy

-Ways to be defeated in ONENESS

- God’s power for ONENESS

-Applying ONENESS

In the book of Genesis, we learn that; in the beginning, God created order.  He created order in nature, and order in marriage.  God’s comment to HIS creation was “It is good”.

A.     The Original Design for marriage – is Adam and Eve. 

In Genesis 1:27 (NASB95)

27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

We see God’s purpose in marriage:

God created them together to mirror His image on this earth.

Yes, the heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork; but we mirror His image in our lives and marriages.

Now look at Genesis 2:18 (NASB95)
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Eve was created to be Adam’s helper.  She was perfect for Adam.  The two became one flesh.  This is the family unit.  Both people complimented each other.  They were both in agreement.  They were one.  They were united in purpose, united in marriage.  This concept of being united or ONENESS, as I am calling it, is what we are looking into today.  Their marriage reflected God’s character.  Adam was not complete without his helper, Eve.  Eve was not complete without helping Adam.  Adam accepted Eve from God as his perfect helper.  Eve accepted her role to Adam as his perfect helper. 

God’s original design for marriage has not changed.

The idea of ONENESS is carried over to the NT era.  In Ephesians 5:25 we read “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it”.  And in Eph 5:22 Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.  (that is: submit to the Lord, by realizing you are making your husband complete; and that you both are living in ONENESS).

What God started in the beginning, He still encourages today: and what God loves and establishes, Satan hates and tries to ruin.  God created man and woman with a special creation, which was different than all other things that He created.  He created man and woman in HIS image; therefore we are special, unique; and precious to God.  The idea of Unity or ONENESS is expressed in almost every NT book.  Unity is one of God’s characteristics.  That is why God expects it to be evident in our Christian marriages and in His church.  That is why our enemy Satan fights so hard to destroy or tarnish every marriage and every church.

Adam was the Head of the human race, Eve was his helper (Gen 2:18).  They were equal in the eyes of God, but had different roles in life.  Just as the Father is equal to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; but each have different roles in how they interface to mankind.  They are One essence, God, in three persons.  Notice that whatever God makes reflects his holiness, His image, His character – Oneness.  Adam and Eve’s union reflected God’s image: ONE union, 2 persons.

But we also have an enemy: an enemy to our ONENESS.

Don’t forget that whatever God creates, Satan tries to destroy.  Whatever God loves, Satan hates.  Whatever shows the image of God, Satan tries to tarnish.  Never forget that we are in a war, in which Satan is trying to dethrone God.  A war in which Satan tries to tarnish God’s image by attacking God’s earthly children; and destroying the marriage which is suppose to reflect God’s character.  Yes, Satan is our enemy.  He wants to destroy you, your spouse and your children.  That is his agenda: he has not changed since his tempting Adam and Eve in the garden.

The family unit is first and most importantly the husband and wife.  It is not the children: that is, the children are your legacy for the next generation.  They are a gift from God, for you to teach, nurture and lead to Christ.  They are to reflect your efforts; and that should ultimately lead them to reflect Christ in their lives.  But God wants us, husbands and wives, to work on our husband/wife relationships.  Then you both will be successful in working together on your children, for God’s glory.  Let us commit our selves, husbands to love our wives and promote ONENESS.  Wives, commit yourselves to being the perfect helper that your husband needs so you both will be ONE with God; and then you will reflect the image of God; not only in your lives but also in your marriages.

You see; It was after Eve was tempted, and Adam chose to follow Eve in sin, that they started to live in the image of Satan.  It is after Eve sinned that she wanted to move out of her place and dominate Adam; just like Satan treats God.  Adam and Eve began to distrust God, thinking that God did not always do what was best for them; this is just like Satan.  Adam and Eve then began to make their own plans, just like Satan: they became their own gods, not relying and trusting on JHWH anymore; just like Satan.  Oneness was replaced with disruption, division, self-centeredness, individuality.  Just like Satan.

You see, a godly marriage has to do with ONENESS, purity, love, forgiveness (as listed in Galatians 5).  These are godly attributes.  Wherever there is ONENESS these three exist: purity, love, forgiveness.  Wherever ONENESS does not exist, there is no unity, no love, no purity, no forgiveness.  Then you will find yourself living in the image of Satan. 

Now, we know that an unsaved person has no choice but to live as his nature dictates.  The unsaved people live like Satan; and we cannot change that, nor are we trying to.  But Christians, we have a new nature that cannot sin.  We have God’s Word to lead us, and teach us.  We have the HS to enlighten us about God’s Word, and empower the New Nature, within us.  So we have no excuse but our own will power and our own attitudes.  Yes, we have the Adamic flesh that still has tendency to sin; but we also have the Holy Spirit to enlighten us, as we read his Holy Word, the Bible, to direct us.  We can sin less, if we so will, as we continue to grow in Christ: and as God, our Heavenly Father molds each of us into the image of His Son.

You can read Galatians 5:16-26 and see, listed there, the fruit of the Holy Spirit and the fruit of your old nature.  Did you realize that the fruit of your old nature is exactly How Satan treats God?  Satan accuses, fights, hates, resists, and tries to replace God (verses 19-21).  When you live like that, in your family and in your church, you are living in the image of Satan.  But that ought not to be because God has given each of us the ability to live above that level, by the New Nature empowered by the Holy Spirit (verses 22-23). 

In fact, 1Cor 3:1-2 tells us that if we live in the flesh, we will not mature in our Christian walk.   This is one way to defeat ONENESS.  If we choose to live like Satan, we will stop our Christian growth.  You have that choice.

So, we have an enemy, Satan, who fights us, and tries to defeat us: we also have our fleshly desires and attitudes holding us back.  But we have a way out – God’s word tells us in Gal 5:16 “if you live by the Spirit, you will not carry out the desires of the flesh”.  Let me paraphrase this “if you live by the Spirit’s guidance and control, you will not act like Satan”.  This power is available to every Christian.


Satan does not sleep or get tired. 

Satan will do whatever it takes, whenever he can, for as long as he can, to destroy you, your marriage and your children.

We have a might enemy who can crush us without even trying.  But we also have God’s weapons that we can use to defeat Satan.  We have God’s Word, God’s Spirit to guide us and God’s commands to believe and follow to victory.

That is why God tells us to put on His Whole Armor in Ephesians, Chapter 6.  If you are going to fight Satan; and that is what God tells us to do; then you have to fight Satan on God’s terms.  You must fight Satan by resisting him, standing firm on the promises of God, found in God’s Word. 

So far, we have seen God’s original design and purpose for establishing marriage and ONENESS.  We have seen how Satan also is warring against us.  Satan has not changed from the beginning of time.  Why?  Because his tactics still work.  He plans to influence a godly person’s life.  He still suggests “Has god really said” or better put “Can you really trust that Bible?” 

Let’s make a resolution, a covenant with God to live for Him. 

Let’s make a covenant to have a victorious marriage? 

Let’s desire to be transformed by renewing your minds (Romans 12:1-2). 

Let’s stop thinking worldly thoughts. 

Let’s start filling our mind with God’s promises. 

Let’s allow God to have free will to conform us to the image of His Son.

As we live in our marriages, let us fulfill Christ’s commands.  When we pray, let us pray with our spouses, with nothing hindering our prayers. 


God’s Word is very specific on how we can be defeated in ONENESS:

(1) Mark 11:24 -25

When you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted to you.  And whenever you pray, forgive

God will withhold His answer to our prayers, if we are not forgiving, and are not showing forth His character in our lives.  It depends upon our wills and our attitudes. 


What would happen in our marriages if we were united, loving, caring  and forgiving?  Then we can unite with our spouses and see our prayers wonderfully answered.

(2) Let the mind of Christ dwell in you.  When tempted to act like Satan, refuse, stand against Satan’s suggestions, tell him that you do not have to sin, and you will not sin.  Tell him that you have been washed in the blood of Jesus and that you have been given a new nature that cannot sin.  Refuse to act like Satan (Gal 5:16), renew your minds, seek to be molded into the image of Christ.  Ask, seek and knock.  Take God’s Word as truth.  Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.

This is our part: forgiving all offenses; trusting God’s Word, relying on the Holy Spirit, renewing your mind; and wearing God’s armor.

(God’s power for Oneness)

Now Let’s look at how we can have God’s power in our marriages.  I am not suggesting that I have found a hidden key, that can be used to manipulate God, as in Estheticism.  I am just suggesting that we take God at His Word, and lean on His promises.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NASB95)
12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

The more strands you have in a rope, the stronger it is.  It is different from a chain, which is only as strong as its weakest link.  A rope is as strong as its strongest strand. 

Now, I want to suggest a power that you may not have tapped into.

Let’s read Matthew 18:19

Matthew 18:19 (NASB95)
19 “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.

Here, in Matt 18:19, we have the 3 cords: You, your spouse and Jesus.  With this promise, you can accomplish anything in your marriage, as long as you and your spouse are in ONENESS, in agreement with each other and then you both are in agreement with Jesus.

A three cord rope is not easily broken.  You have yourself, your mate and Christ.  Unbeatable.

We have the almighty cord of Jesus Christ within our rope.  Unbreakable.  Now we have the potential to defeat Satan in our lives, in our marriages and in our church.

This also applies to you single Christians, those who do not have a spouse, but do have Christian friends.  Pair up with another godly Christian; then believe Matthew 18:19 and form your own 3 cord rope.  A combination that is Unbeatable:  Unbreakable.  Now you have the potential to defeat Satan, because you are trusting God’s Word and believing that Jesus, the Almighty God, is with you.

(Pause) Now, if you want to see God working in you, you must live by His standards, His commands.  God cautions us to keep our fellowship with Him pure and clean.

Husbands, if your relationship with your wife is not right, your prayer life will suffer.

1 Peter 3:7 (NASB95)
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

This shows you how important your marriage relationship is to your heavenly Father.  If your relationship with your wife is not right, God will not listen to you.  Husbands, listen to what God is telling us.  I believe that God holds the Husbands accountable for the condition of the family.  So husbands, get right with your wife, then you will be right with God. 

Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB95)
23 “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

Now, this we can apply to all of us, not just husbands.  Any Christian, if not reconciled to all his brothers and sisters of the faith, must heal that broken relationship before you attempt to have an unblemished relationship with your Heavenly Father.  A spirit of unforgiveness will stop your spiritual growth.

Also Look at:

Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB95)
14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

You can see that God wants us to have good, functional, loving marriages and Christian relationships in order to bless us.  Because, Our marriages reflect God’s character and image.  And Because, Our church reflects on Jesus Christ, our Shepherd; and His relationship with His Father.  God will bless those marriages that reflect His character and image.  God will bless those churches that reflect love for His Son and for each one of the saints in that body of believers.  This is why He says to not expect Him to answer your prayers if your marriage is not functioning in an “agape” loving manner.  This is why He says to not come before Him if your brother or sister has anything against you.

These verses are telling us that - If you have difficulties with anyone in your family, or God’s family, make it right immediately.

(Pause) With Jesus in your marriage or your Christian relationship, and your relationships in unity, you have a 3 stranded cord; but the 3rd strand is the Almighty strand; Jesus, God Almighty.  We are powerless without that 3rd strand.  We cannot do anything against Satan on our own.  But with Jesus in our midst, Satan can do nothing; he has no power; except what God allows. 

Remember, we are in a war.  Our adversary never sleeps, and never tires; but he is not almighty.  He can be defeated by God’s Power, if we resist him, in God’s way.  Married couples be in unity.  Single Christians – join with another godly Christian in unity.

So we have the plan, and the pattern.  You and your wife, as one, in agreement with yourselves and the Lord, agreeing on ANYTHING, and it will be done.   Or if you are single, you and another Christian agreeing on ANYTHING, and it will be done. 

God will withhold His answer, if we are not forgiving, and are not showing forth His character in our lives.  It depends upon our wills and our attitudes.  Will you live for God; in God’s way?

Now suppose you are loving, caring, forgiving all offenses, trusting God’s Word, depending upon His Holy Spirit for guidance into all truth.  Let’s see how this can work in our lives.

For Example:

I heard about a young man, who had grown up in a Christian home.  He was off on his own, in his mid/early 20s.  He was living like the Devil.  Drinking and doing drugs.  His parents knew this and made an agreement with each other to pray for their son.  They agreed to pray that the Lord would either get their son’s attention and bring him back to God, or take him out of this world. 

Then they had occasion for their son to be in their home.  In tears they told him of their disgust with his life.  Then they told him how they were beginning to pray.  The son became very fearful.  He knew his parents prayed and had their prayers answered.  He knew that he had to make a decision soon.  It was not long after that, that the son returned to God.  Today, he is a pastor of a church in Anchorage Alaska; and is a guest speaker for the “Weekend to remember” conferences.

What this illustrates is that if Moms and Dads or if 2 Christians get serious with God, they will see great things happen in lives around them.  Do you have a rebellious child.  You may have an unsaved child or friend or neighbor.  Let’s get serious with God.  Let’s claim His promises.  Let’s stand our ground and fight Satan and this world with God’s weapons. 

Now, take the bulletin insert and look at it.  Think about being in ONENESS with your husband/with your wife or with another Christian and make a covenant to resist the evil of this world and live for Jesus Christ.

Will you covenant with God?

Will you fight Satan?

Will you fight Satan with God’s weapons?

Will you Husbands promise to be in ONENESS with your wife?

Will you wives promise to be in ONENESS with your husband?

Will you Dads and Moms covenant to be in ONENESS in your decisions and prayers for your children?

If you could live the way God desires, think how you can influence the next generation.

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